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View Full Version : Late Night Chat Sessions with Robot (A Rant Thread in Disguise)


Misanthrope
20th Feb 2015, 1:52 AM
I needed a place to rant on the Internet. And since my webpage only has about 2 hits per month, I've decided to take it here.
If you have nothing better to do with your time on the internet, then feel free to listen to my rants
_______________________

So for the past 2 years since my hiatus from The Sims, I've been playing an MMO called TERA Online, which happens to be known for its scantily-clad ladies---
http://i.imgur.com/EJ0tTph.jpg

But it also features Ellinnnnsss----
http://i.imgur.com/kKyOuRK.jpg

TRIVIA: Guess which race is the most prevalent in TERA Online????
It isn’t demonic hookers, but in fact 12-year old girls!

As for myself,
I am someone who was diagnosed with psychosis at the beginning for this year.

My in-game character is a popori zerker named Robot, on the server Tempest Reach (but I also go by Szeth, Szara, and a multitude of other names in online forums and such)

On December 16th, TERA Online released the ‘Fate of Arun’ expansion, which also reduced the amount of gold rewarded from Daily Quests by a significant amount. From December 20th through December 22nd, I was mocking the idiots on the forums who actually thought this was a good idea.

http://i.imgur.com/XQg0LeM.jpg

You can see all my posts here---http://tera-forums.enmasse.com/profiles/Szeth

On December 23rd, an epic thread was born, suggesting a separate server excluding elins (which are highly controversial in NA Tera, known for its censorship)---
http://i.imgur.com/2EU4Fyg.jpg

Bored and stressed out, I decided to troll the official TERA forums, voicing my support of this movement! After all, only pedo’s and weeaboo’s would play an elin… right??? (/sarcasm)

One thing led to another, and I ended up accusing a user named Based12 of being a pedo and posted this image---
http://i.imgur.com/5VJRK75.png

Welp! I ended up getting banned by GM Minea because of it—
http://i.imgur.com/m0N67Zu.jpg

Upset with my ban, I decided to contact TERA support. Hopefully another GM other than Minea would be more sympathetic!

Hi, I was just wondering exactly how long my account is suspended from posting on the forums. (Not that I really want to, but just incase I need to).
Is my forum suspension permanent?

When GM Minea-senpai banned me last month, I never got an email explaining what was it that I did wrong, and exactly how long I would be banned for.
I had a feeling it was due to the "No-elins server" thread. (The hilarity of it was almost worth a permanent account ban. Ahhhh, If only I had screenshotted that thread before it was taken down.... Can you send me pics of the OP and my replies if you still have it on your database?).

Anyway, I was just upset that other forum members were accusing me of being a "troll" on the forums.... and then I decided to show them what a REAL TROLL was. In my defense, the MT player named Based12 (with the human male avatar) was outright attacking me, even when he thought I was a young girl.... But it's NOT okay for grown men to yell at young girls on the internet, like the way he did, despite whatever reasons he may have.

I've learned my lesson now, and I won't be harassing other people anymore. I'm just wondering when (or if) I will be able to post again.
-Szeth

Hello Szeth,
Thank you for contacting TERA Support.

I'm really sorry to hear about your current situation. Unfortunately, our support team will not be able to lift the forum suspension, but I'll gladly inform you of it's terms. After reviewing your account details, it appears that you were issued a 70 day forum suspension, which now has 45 days remaining. Here is the notification that was sent by GM Minea:

"Moderation action taken for making offensive/inappropriate comments on the forums. Accusing other players as pedophiles is NOT an acceptable behavior in any way. Also, please do not spam the forums in hopes of getting attention to the topic. Both of these types of behavior are against the forum rules."

Please let me know if you have any questions or need further assistance.
Best regards,
Dustin “GM Orthak”

Nope! My ban was for 70 days. After this, I opened up Live Chat with TERA support. Maybe a third opinion would be better!

My TERA Characters---
http://i.imgur.com/KdqXpfw.jpg

Sean "GM Kalyndus": Hello Szeth. Welcome to an online support chat session for Tera. What would you like me to help you with today?
Szeth: i cant complete my story quest
Szeth: having a blast
Szeth: on my lancer destruction
Szeth: the siege wep would loop around
Sean "GM Kalyndus": Hi there
Szeth: HI SEAN
Sean "GM Kalyndus": What's the name of your character and server?
Szeth: tempest reach
Szeth: destruction
Szeth: do you like, see me in game
Szeth: how does it work
Szeth: can you like, skip the quest for me
Szeth: im too lazy to walk to the quest area again
Szeth: can i have the next storyquest after the one i have?
Sean "GM Kalyndus": I can advance you to the next task. Just a moment.
Szeth: ooohhhh GM sean
Szeth: can you teleport me there too
Szeth: i want to see your GM powers at work
Szeth: pls
Szeth: mad hacker powers
Szeth: im bored
Szeth: which is why im chatting with you at 8:00 pm
Szeth: theres nothing on TV
Szeth: and im just bot farming with my felicity
Sean "GM Kalyndus": haha, a bit too busy at the moment but I can advance you to the next task. Can you log off to the character selection screen?
Szeth: ok
Szeth: ok im at character selection
Szeth: DO YOU SEE ALL MY CHARS IN SPEEDOS
Szeth: DONT JUDGE OK
Szeth: theyre sexy
Szeth: i would buy one for my popo too but now im poor with the daily gold nerf
Sean "GM Kalyndus": Ok, you're set to the next task. "Talk to Vemnon".
Szeth: hows your EMP sales been doing
Szeth: GM sean
Szeth: its slower than usual
Szeth: did you teleport me
Szeth: no
Szeth: :c
Szeth: i still have the same quest
Szeth: having a blast
Szeth: GM sean your hacker powers are broken
Szeth: do you need me to logout again
Sean "GM Kalyndus": Yes, I advanced you to the next task. You'll need to talk to Vemnon. You can get there on your own.
Szeth: noooooo
Szeth: im filing a complaint
Szeth: GM sean whyyyy
Szeth: its too farrrrrrr
Sean "GM Kalyndus": Have a good one!
Chat closed by Sean "GM Kalyndus".

__________________________


Sean "GM Kalyndus": Hello Szeth. Welcome to an online support chat session for Tera. What would you like me to help you with today?
Szeth: GM sean is that you
Szeth: i have a very important question
Sean "GM Kalyndus": Hi there. What's up now?
Szeth: since you teleported me ahead
Szeth: i mean
Szeth: NOT teleported me
Szeth: but skipped for me
Szeth: do i still get the gold from the quest
Szeth: i need that 20g or whatever
Szeth: im pooorrrrr
Szeth: and i need to buy more speedos
Sean "GM Kalyndus": You can get there yourself and yes you will still get the quest rewards.
Szeth: ah ok
Szeth: have a good night sean
Szeth: i mean
Szeth: answering more questions that is
Sean "GM Kalyndus": Yw! you too Szeth!

__________________________

Sean "GM Kalyndus": Hello Szeth. Welcome to an online support chat session for Tera. What would you like me to help you with today?
Szeth: sean i have another question
Szeth: are you like the only dude working here
Szeth: thats not my question tho
Szeth: i have another one
Szeth: like, do you only answer quest related questions
Sean "GM Kalyndus": Hi again! No there's more of us!
Szeth: or other questions too
Szeth: wat
Szeth: EME is so cheap
Szeth: they need to hire more people
Sean "GM Kalyndus": What's your question?
Szeth: but i like talking to you tho
Szeth: anyway
Szeth: so
Szeth: i was banned from posting on the forums
Szeth: hard to believe right???
Szeth: i mean, im so likeable
Szeth: why would they ban me
Szeth: minea is so mean
Szeth: anyway
Szeth: when is my account unbanned
Sean "GM Kalyndus": Let me check.
Sean "GM Kalyndus": You were suspended for using alt accounts to post on the forums while you were suspended. It looks like you still have 2.5 months left on your forum suspension.
Szeth: WTF
Szeth: gm sean
Szeth: are you trolling me
Szeth: what if i need to make a very important post on the forums
Szeth: asking a very important question
Szeth: anyway
Szeth: 2.5 months
Szeth: what day is that exactly
Szeth: i cant do math and i cant count high numbers very well
Szeth: gm sean
Szeth: ive BEEN AROUND THESE PLACES
Szeth: and ive seen things
Sean "GM Kalyndus": You will not be able to post on the forums until the suspension has been lifted.
Szeth: like people making horrible posts on the forums
Szeth: has any one of them been banned as long as i have been
Szeth: isnt that kinda ridiculous
Szeth: anyway
Szeth: can you give me an exact date
Szeth: when i can post again
Szeth: because posting on forums is very important
Szeth: btw sean
Szeth: i have more questions
Sean "GM Kalyndus": You reference pedophilia on the forums and then attempted to evade the ban by creating alt account. You will be able to post again May 26th.
Szeth: :<
Szeth: why that was long
Szeth: didnt they know i was joking
Sean "GM Kalyndus": What else?
Szeth: GM sean
Szeth: why dont the other GMs get my sense of humor
Szeth: nvm
Szeth: i feel like
Szeth: i should stop asking questions here
Szeth: before my ban is longer
Szeth: soooooo
Szeth: may 26th
Szeth: huh
Szeth: but what if i have very important questions
Szeth: can i just go to live chat and ask for you again?
Szeth: instead of posting on forums
Sean "GM Kalyndus": Pedophilia isn't something we take lightly. Sorry for the inconvenience. You can create a support ticket or ask other players in game for assistance.
Szeth: =S
Szeth: hm ok
Szeth: goodnight gm sean
Szeth: and ty
Sean "GM Kalyndus": byeeee
Szeth: byyeeeee
Chat closed by Sean "GM Kalyndus".


Note: I was banned for —obviously— jokingly calling some jerk a pedo for playing an elin. It’s the oldest trollbait in the history of TERA, and yet this guy falls for it. I didn’t screen shot Based12’s response because I didn’t think of it at the time (I was experiencing the early stages of psychosis at that point).

I basically explained to him that it was acceptable for me to play elin –because I am a young girl— Anyway, he FLIPPED OUT after I said that it was acceptable for girls to play elins but not men, because it’s weird.

I got cursed at, called immature along with a variety of names. He told me, “Who the FUCK are you to tell grown men they can’t play elin?!”

And oh boyyyy, I got cursed at. All while Based12 thought I was a ~young girl~ (I even told him I had to go to bed soon because it was past my bedtime. I wish I had screenshotted that part).

Anyway, so after I was banned from the official TERA forums, I ended up in a mental hospital for my psychosis.

Misanthrope
20th Feb 2015, 1:56 AM
On January 6th 2015, I was released from the mental ward, but with nothing better to do after my discharge, I began spamming my Guildmate’s Raidcall Channel, while on meds for my psychosis. (At this point, I was having paranoid delusions that a person named Raymond was stalking me on the Internet. I thought he was a worker from the mental hospital because his voice sounded SOOO similar to a guy I met there)---------------
http://dreamspectre.blogspot.com/2015/01/the-raidcall-saga-of-robot.html


Robot
raymond youre here!
Robot
ive thought of the possibility that these two people arent you or your puppet accounts
Robot
and theres the
possibility that they dont report to you at all
Robot
if theyre just here, just to listen on to me ramble, i suppose thats ok too
Robot
raymond youre so rude
Robot
why do you never greet me
Robot
youre the president of Robot's Fan Club
Robot
you should at least greet me every day
Robot
or else it would look bad
Robot
dont you agree
Robot
oh yea, i also wrote up a speech
Robot
lemme go get it real fast
Robot
*ahem*
Robot
raymond, raymond, raymond~
Robot
i feel like singing today~
Robot
even tho itll scare my mother~
Robot
but raymond, just who are you, and how much longer will you follow me until you decide its no longer worth it?
Robot
ive developed some sort of alternate persona when i last tried to commit suicide
Robot
a version of myself which no one cares about what others think of me
Robot
isnt it refreshing?
Robot
wouldnt you prefer this version of me, rather than my old self?
Robot
i do remember some things
Robot
here and there
Robot
from that day i went to the psych ward
Robot
although i seem to be having memory lapses
Robot
like gaps in my memory
Robot
its imperfect
Robot
but i do remember some things
Robot
although im not gonna tell you them
Robot
because youre so rude
Robot
and you dont even greet me
Robot
although i made you president of my fan club
Robot
raymond
Robot
you need to greet me at the very least, if we are going to progress anywhere in this fucked up relationship
Robot
you can start by saying goodmorning to me
Robot
although i woke up at around 6am or something
Robot
hmmmm
Robot
i rather liked the new me
Robot
a lot of people from the psych ward liked me to, i think
Robot
only crazies can understand one another
Robot
maybe thats why you and i dont get along
Robot
like fire and ice
Robot
oh yea
Robot
are you a fan of GRRM's the song of ice and fire series?
Robot
i read it backed it high school
Robot
#nerdyhipstercred
Robot
anyway
Robot
i rather like the new me
Robot
and people seem to like the new me, too
Robot
well, crazy people anyway
Robot
i scare the shit out of my family
Robot
its funny
Robot
hmmmmmmm
Robot
what else to say...
Robot
oh yea
Robot
my memory sucks
Robot
is this a side effect of the medication?
Robot
i sure hope not
Robot
anyway raymond
Robot
im not gonna talk to you a lot until youre a little less rude, and learn some manners
Robot
like how to greet the person youre stalking on the internet
Robot
its only right, yea?
Robot
raymond i see that shit
Robot
your mic icon next to your name is blinking
Robot
but you dont say shit to me
Robot
WHY IS THAT, I WONDER
Robot
COULD IT BE THAT YOURE NOT REALLY RAYMOND
Robot
DO THEY ACTUALLY ROTATE THEIR RAYMONDS AROUND??
Robot
ITS CHEAPER AND EASIER TO GET A BUNCH OF GGUYS TO STALK ROBOT
Robot
RATHER THAN PAYING 1 DUDE TO FOLLOW HER
Robot
anyway
Robot
i need to go pee now
Robot
say hello to me in the afk room if you want me to talk moar
Robot
and why didnt azel
Robot
make the FAT GURLS LISTENING TO KPOP afk room?
Robot
im kinda disappointed
Robot
why must i use the FAT GURLS AWAY ROOM
Robot
i wanted to be a special snowflake with my own special snowflake AFK room
Robot
*sad faise*
Robot
:c
Robot
anyway
Robot
im going afk now
Robot
GOOODDDBYYEEEEE****
This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.

Robot
raymond
Robot
fry's has terrible customer service, dont go there
Robot
it should not take me 2 hours to find and buy a goddamn ipod
Robot
they have 1000 aisles of nothingness
Robot
america is nothing but a giant shopping mall
Robot
and the guy who's supposed to bring my ipod got me a fucking toshiba laptop for some reason
Robot
if you must buy stuff, go to best buy, its better
Robot
they're failing, so they're desperate to please
Robot
anyway, its showa time

This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.

Robot
raymond you got your afk ass booted didnt you
Robot
lol
This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
Robot
azel r u thur?
Azel
yeah
Robot
FAT GURLZ LISTENING TO KPOP
Robot
afk room
Robot
make it happen, man
Robot
for me and mik
Robot
do eeeetttttt
Robot
omg
Robot
i love you azel
Robot
i love you long time
Robot
taking my ass there
Robot
gonna put pirated kpop songs to my new ipod
Robot
<333333

This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
Robot
raaaayymmoonndddd
Robot
are you gonna greet your most favorite person today
Robot
<----
Robot
^----
Robot
raymond
Robot
why do you never talk when im here
Robot
it makes me sad
Robot
*sad kitty faise*
Robot
welp
Robot
time to go back to listenning to pirated kpop song in my NEW PERSONAL ROOM
Robot
THAT AZEL MADE FOR ME
Robot
azel is way coooler than you, raymond
Robot
i like him way more than you
Robot
in fact
Robot
i may have to rethink your position as president of Robots Fan Club

This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
Robot
these ipod headphones were designed by satan or someone
Robot
why does the Left or "L" peice fit better in my right ear????
Robot
it doesnt make sense
Robot
there;s nothing wrong with Robot's ears if anyone was wonderin
Robot
Robot is perfectly made, perflect assembled
Robot
although i still cant spell
Robot
but spelling things right was for nerds anyway
This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.


This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
Robot
JORGE
Robot
i have to go take my meds soon
Robot
and ill have to go to sleep
Robot
is there anything which you'd like to say to me now, jorge?
Robot
anythinnngggg at all
Robot
something which rhymes with good fight
Robot
like
Robot
goodnight
Robot
maybe


This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
Robot
so ive been pirating all these songs lately
Robot
if the cops catch me, can i claim INSANITY AS A DEFENSE?
Robot
i was in the mental ward recently after all
Robot
if i cant claim insanity as a defense, then it was all for naught
Robot
RAYMOND PLS ANSWER
Robot
this is a serious question
Robot
which may save my ass from going to jail... and my ass from various other things
Robot
raymond goddamn
Robot
i know you read my posts whn that damn icon blink
Robot
but you never have any answerrrssssssss
Robot
raymond stahp trollin
Robot
do you have answers to my VERY SERIOUS LEGAL QUESTIONS
Robot
to what extent can i claim insanity as a defense
Robot
what was that
Robot
damn it raymond
Robot
my ass
Robot
jaaaillll
Robot
very serious possibility
Robot
i need to claim insanity as a defense for all the illegal shit im pirating
Robot
asking ryamond legal quesstions is fruitless
Robot
azel youre smarter than him
Robot
do you know what i can do?
Robot
i actually had cops at my door this week
Robot
fucking raymond, that bastard
Robot
tsk tsk

This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
Robot
alright
Robot
time for daily (one-sided) chat sessions with raymond!
Robot
dear raymond,
Robot
although im surrounded by people, i feel alone because no one really understands me
Robot
i sound like an angsty teenager ranting on the internet, but that's how it really is
Robot
my family sees me as some dumb little girl, and i dont think anyone takes me seriously
Robot
at the temple the other day, there was a monk who was rather young and handsome
Robot
i thought, it's rather a shame that he became a monk, while being so young
Robot
perhaps one day, when im an old woman, ill become a nun
Robot
although i dont really believe in gods, wouldnt that be ironic?
Robot
if there are gods, i dont think they really give a shit about us... i mean, why should they
Robot
most people suck, and our lives are boring
Robot
hmmm
Robot
what else
Robot
oh yeah, every sunday im to head to the temple to help out the nun there
Robot
although im not really good at aanything... besides cleaning and washing dishes maybe
Robot
i think it gives some meaning in my life, to be able to help others
Robot
ive lived for 22 years on this earth, and up until now, i havent done one worthwhile thing
Robot
isnt that sad?
Robot
i want to find a purpose to my life
Robot
i want to do charity and volunteer work, although my dad thinks its a waste of time..... at least, i think that;s what he thinks
Robot
i cant think of anything else to say right now
Robot
oh yea, you fixed my youtube channel! or maybe youtube did it by itself
Robot
who knows
Robot
since you never reply to me
Robot
im gonna go take a nap while listening to kpop
This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.

Robot
oh yeah,
Robot
if i were a god i would force people to write books for me
Robot
boring people would be banished to hell after they die, and only the best writers could go to heaven
Robot
and i would force george rr martin, that lazy bastard,
to finish his 6th and 7th book
Robot
goddamn
Robot
5 goddamn years
Robot
per book
Robot
wtf

This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
Robot
it seems that my weekends consists of going to temples now
Robot
every sunday i head to one with my aunt
Robot
my family hopes that one day i will find jesus
Robot
or buddha
Robot
they keep taking me to temples as if i am the girl from the exorcist or some shit


This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
Robot
sometimes i wished my therapist did online sessions
Robot
im actually the most honest and sincere when im on the internet
Robot
although my real-life persona and my online-persona have become more similar lately

This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
Robot
hello freekerrrrr
Robot
freeker
Fre@ky
HEY ROBOTO
Robot
dont be like raymond
Robot
oh yeaaaaa
Robot
you said hi!!!
Robot
raymond never says hi to me
Robot
isnt he r00d
Fre@ky
oh i think he never read cuz
Fre@ky
hes on full screeen
Robot
full screen?
Fre@ky
in game
Robot
ah
Robot
shit
Robot
did he ever tell you guys
Robot
who he actually is?
Fre@ky
thats ray
Azel
Ray?
Fre@ky
he is old member
Fre@ky
from our guild
Robot
raymond
Fre@ky
he jsut quited
Azel
Thhats lady shield
Fre@ky
long ago
Azel
The lancer
Robot
whaaaaaaattttttt
Azel
he had school
Fre@ky
yes haha
Azel
so he ws busy
Robot
i was almost sure
Fre@ky
he lost his rc account
Fre@ky
so he had to change his name
Fre@ky
on rc
Fre@ky
thats why is raymond now
Robot
he was this guy from the mental hospital for some reason
Robot
huh
Fre@ky
but that is lady sheild
Robot
maybe im still crazzzyy
Robot
so yea
Robot
i was at a mental hospital
Fre@ky
you will be fine just dont overthng
Fre@ky
overthink things
Robot
because i tried to commit suicide (sorta)
Robot
ive been kinda fucked up ever since
Fre@ky
just take is slow there robooto
Robot
he sounded like this guy i knew from back at the hospital
Robot
gosh, i seem like an idiot now
Robot
oh welp
Fre@ky
its not him its lady shield
Fre@ky
dont worry bout it
Robot
i need to go apologize
Fre@ky
we make mistakes :)
Azel
dont worry about it
Robot
ugh, these drugs
Azel
He never readds rc chat
Robot
im on medication
Robot
welp
Fre@ky
dont worry bout ray roboto
Robot
back to kpop
Azel
Just chill
Robot
im feel much better now
Fre@ky
everyone here wants the best for you
Robot
i was at the hospital all week during christmas break and new years
Robot
sucks ass
Robot
but the people there all liked me lol
Robot
although they were crazy people too
Fre@ky
just try to relax there and do things that makes you happy
Robot
the staff liked me well enough


This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
Robot
raymond im sorry
Robot
i took you for someone else
Robot
because your voice sounded SO SIMILAR
Robot
anyway, sorry raymond :o

This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.

Robot
ive become a master at emotional manipulation
Robot
my father has pushed me to this point
Robot
where i can cry on demand

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This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.

Robot
holy shit
Robot
google is scary
Robot
how did they know i was interested in kpop, alice in wonderland, breaking bad, parks and recs the tv show, and videogames?
Robot
i was just browsing through google news, under the 'recommended for you' section
Robot
and now i'm expecting my yaoi to pop up any minute on the news site
Robot
holy shit
Robot
just how much information does google collect from us??
Robot
google can probably take over the world one day if they wanted

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This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
Robot
so i have both adblock and adblock plus installed on google chrome
Robot
and im still seeing ads
Robot
this should not be happening
Robot
why has the internet gotten shittier and shittier
Robot
“Thanks to Instant Checkmate, I found out my boyfriend of 2 years is a registered sex offender.”
Robot
wtf is this shit
Robot
our police records are online now wtf
Robot
hai lizz
Robot
is lizz broken
Robot
nvm shes ok
Robot
hello!
Robot
see, everyone says hi to me
Robot
except for raymond
Robot
that bastard

This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.

Robot
azel, you are running some sort of bullshit, COMMIE GUILD HERE
Robot
ive been a member of TMT longer than a lot of these people
Robot
why do they have a crown
Robot
and i have a diamond
Robot
what is this bs
Robot
"Personal credits is a new kind of point system introduced in Raidcall - it's currency is Silver. For the sake of your account security, personal credit can only be checked by the account owner. Silver can be gained by keeping your account online, one Silver for each hour you're logged on. If you're logged on for less than an hour, it will be counted and added to the next calculation. In the future, Silver can be exchanged into gift boxes from treasure boxes"

Robot
so if i afk in rc all day this means i can finally get a crown???
Robot
welp, i know where im going to be now
Mik
probably lol
Robot
mik
Robot
this is bs
Mik
o/
Robot
why do you have a crown
Robot
whereas i have a plain diamond
Mik
ive been in here alot more recently
Robot
mik
Mik
just leave rc on and sit in the Kpop channel, ez crown
Robot
you should take your ass to that shiny new AFK room sometime
Robot
i want freekers crown tho
Robot
one day i will have freekers crown >:-)
Mik
ill probably use that channel for when i listen to music and farm later
Robot
lol
Robot
how do you make money in the new patch anyway
Robot
besides selling emp
Mik
beats me im still poor
Robot
i spent 700k on costumes last time
Mik
o.o
Robot
i thought i was making a parody video of fonzy
Robot
but the GMs refused to refund me after i asked them
Robot
sometimes i think the GMs fuck with me
Robot
I KNOW THEY READ MY CHAT LOGS WITH YOU, when they banned me
Robot
they probably found it funny tho
Mik
you know
Mik
idk how i feel about the room only pertaining to gurls
Mik
>.<
Robot
gurls > boys
Robot
deal with it
Mik
D:
Robot
this is the internet
Robot
girls are like, rare gems
Robot
like me
Robot
i even have a diamond see
Mik
what ami a pidgey
Robot
maybe you will evolve one day into pidgeotto
Mik
LOL maybe *o*
Robot
now go afk with me in the kpop room and upgrade your crown.
Robot
come to think of it, why does az's crown have like, fucking rainbow explosions and shit
Robot
HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN USING RC

This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
Robot
ive been feeling bored a lot lately, since i have nothing to do after my discharge from the hospital
Robot
i think im gonna go shit up the forums until GMs restore the gold from the dailies back

This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.

Robot
so after i get a crown like azels, whats the one after that???
Robot
does it like, explode into a supernova like a sun with rainbow explosions
Robot
that would be p. cool actually

This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
Robot
it was christmas eve and i was laying on the side of the road, waiting for someone to either run me over or save me
Robot
after i "died" that day, i no longer fear anything from this world
Robot
this feeling
Robot
of freedom
Robot
is therapeutic
Robot
azel, im sorry for shitting up your RC channel
This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.
This channel is now in Free chat Mode. All users can speak at any time.


ChunkNorris
the world is a better place with you in it Robo
this is matt sanjas husband
had to change my login cause RC is such a joke

Robot
hello chunk, thank you for your concern
im feeling much better now you guys have been awesome

ChunkNorris
but i understand there are hard times

Robot
and amazing

ChunkNorris
well we all careabout ya robo

Robot
im feeling better now that im on medication,
and you guys have been very supportive.
words cannot express the gratitude i feel towards the members of this guild

ChunkNorris
i made a popo zerk because urs was so awesome

Robot
lol

ChunkNorris
:P

Robot
robot is best popo N/A

ChunkNorris
we are and always be here for ya robo rules 4 sure

Robot
thanx

ChunkNorris
just take it one day at a time and u will not feel like there are issues soon..
just wanted u to know we talk about u and want the best...
by talk about you we mean worry..

Robot
yeah, im taking things easy now.
my only problem atm is being bored,
because there's nothing for me to do besides watch tv, read books, and troll the internet (maybe)

ChunkNorris
well dont let you mind telll you that things a certain way...
as u said boredom can play tricks on ur emotions
just remember we are here and will always be willing to listen if u need it

Robot
thank you all, i love everyone in this guild...
you guys are the reason i stuck around tera for so long
after i make my recovery, i will be back playing tera one day, but for now im on a break

ChunkNorris
yeha ... just dont take things too serious and dont let ur mind convince u of things untill u know

ChunkNorris
some things that happen in life we cannot control.... so worrying doesnt help us out, when we cannot control certian aspects... so live life to the fullest Robot,

Robot
thank you for your words

ChunkNorris
every one has been through hardship...
in the same and different ways you will be fine... Because you are fine..
<3 ya Robo dont listen to things that say ur having problems your okay
ok guild run... talks soon

Robot
have fun

_______________________


Anyway, my online guild has been my source of support during my period of depression, but after making a post on the official forums thanking my guildmates, I was got downvoted and flamed to hell and back----

http://i.imgur.com/bs624iN.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/Mkqtiy0.jpg

Keep in mind, I was mentally ill and I was suffering from psychosis/suicidal thoughts. The GM’s and forum mods, instead of doing something about the toxicity of the player base, have simply decided to extend the suspension of my forum ban, in hopes that I would not ‘stir up shit’ on the forums (which was never actually my intention in the first place). But it’s only SO EASY to ‘stir up shit’ on the forums because 90% of the people there are fucking dummmmbbbb.

If It weren’t for my guild, I would no longer be player this game because the player base is fucking awful, although this is true for any MMO. There’s something about multiplayer games which draws in the worse type of people. Think: Call of Duty, League of Legends, and World of Warcraft. What do those games have in common? Terrible people.

I was glad to have met my guild members—they are some of the most awesome people you would meet on the Internet. But the rest of TERA’s playerbase? Horrendous. Although I seem to like most people at Enmasse Entertainment, I’m really dissatisfied with how they handled this whole ordeal.

I mean reaalllllyyyyyy? You’re gonna ban me from December 23rd until May 26th? Over some people who don’t understand humor or sarcasm over the Internet?

*sigh*

I’ve been making these long-ass forum posts to explain my dissatisfaction with the game, its community, and the people who run it. And really, I haven’t been playing TERA much anymore, despite having been a subscriber since 2012. If it weren’t for my guild members, I would quit TERA with no hesitation.

Misanthrope
20th Feb 2015, 2:03 AM
http://i.imgur.com/VBJPlFK.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/GHbTotU.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/TJ0l5mb.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/Ch4BkjV.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/zNzeobK.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/CKAV2S2.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/hZM45MY.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/d7Jfj0v.jpg


Thread Discussion-----------

im bored and lonely so come chat with me
if its late night and i have nothing better to do, i will reply to you

although im off my meds right now, so i cant guarantee that my replies with be 100% coherent

Misanthrope
23rd Feb 2015, 9:10 PM
TOPIC— The Eyes of a God

To understand the nature of my psychosis, there are some things which you must first know about me.
I remember being an atheist when I was 12, as I had realized that ‘God’ was actually a creation by man, a delusion which we use to comfort ourselves when faced with the unknown. It is comforting to think that there is someone out there watching us, caring for us.

It wasn’t until my psychotic outbreak that I acknowledged the possibility that there may be gods out there. But if there are indeed gods, I believe that they aren’t like exactly what we imagine them to be.

The idea that the gods are kind and caring is laughable.

We are born, we live, and we die— all within a span of a few decades. Astronomers predict that our universe has been around for 13.8 billion years. And this universe is constantly expanding, forever growing larger, grander.

What is the life of a mortal, in comparison to a that of a god? Why should an almighty-being care for something so small, so insignificant? Our lives are so brief, gone in a blink of an eye. The eyes of a god.



Let’s backtrack to December 24th, to night of my psychotic outbreak—
I was laying on the streets, waiting for someone to run me over, because only after we die, do we reincarnate and start our next lifecycle.

Because only in death, are we reborn …and I was to be reborn as the great ‘Demon God’.

For several months before my psychotic episode, I was immersed in the world of ‘Ancient Chinese Fantasy’ stories, which delves deeply into Eastern Mythology and Chinese culture. Stories of that genre takes place in a fantastical world where celestial beings & demons walk the same earth. Immortal creatures who gained high cultivation could assume human form, and mortals who die are reborn again in a another life.

My favorite story at the time was ‘Chong Zi’ and ‘Hua Qian Gu’

Both stories share a similar plot— a goddess has been reborn in the form of a mortal child. She is an orphaned beggar who is adopted by her ‘Master’, an immortal man who has raised the girl as his own child. As she grew older, she fell in love with this man who was akin to her adoptive father. However, such a thing was taboo. So despite loving this man, she could never have him. And so, she would only gaze longingly from afar.

In ‘Hua Qian Gu,’ the protagonist was abandoned, and became disfigured by the members of his organization.
In ‘Chong Zi’, tragedy fell and the girl was eventually betrayed by this very man. She had died by his hands.

Oh, how quickly love has turned into hate. It was betrayal which had turned our ‘kind’ protagonist into a villainous character. And thus, a Goddess has been reborn as a Demon Queen.

I strongly related to these two stories.
Why was I so infatuated with them, you might wonder.

The answer is that these pseudo-incestuous themes appeal to me, because I was never loved by my own father. Growing up, never had I once received even a hug from him. Because of such, I end up hating being touched by others. The thought of some stranger touching me is repulsive.

But all my life, I had wanted someone to love me. To cherish me. To understand me. Isn’t that only natural—the desire to be loved?



It is December 24th, and my father had just taken me back inside after I had lain in the streets. I remember his yells. His screams. His lectures.

However, he no longer mattered, for he was simply a mortal. And I was the demon-god reborn.

I remember wanting to leave home that night... Where was I going? I didn’t know, but it didn’t matter.
I remember my mother blocking the door. She asked me, where was I going in the middle of the night.

I stared at her in indignation.

And then I kicked my mother.
I told her to get out of my way.

She had refused.
And so I kicked her again, repeating the words, “Get out of my way”
Each time she had refused, I would repeat those same words, albeit my voice would grow quieter and quieter still, until it was no more than a silent whisper.

I was staring into her eyes. And she was staring into mines.

I don’t mean to sound conceited, but I am rather attractive-looking, (or so I would like to think). I must admit that vanity is one of my vices. But I can be narcissistic. I can be cruel.

My mother appeared so old to me then. So haggard and pitiful.
I was young, I was beautiful. And I was fucking invincible.

I remember my two aunts coming over that night. They were just like my mother—old, haggard, and mostly disgusting. They were putting their despicable faces in front of mines. And worst of all, they kept holding onto my arm to pull me back from the doorway.

I remember going into a rage. How dare these mortals touch me!
They need to learn their place!

Aaron4Ever
28th Feb 2015, 10:49 AM
http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130813162137/animaljam/images/5/5b/What_the_hell_did_I_just_read.png

Misanthrope
6th Apr 2015, 2:27 AM
http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130813162137/animaljam/images/5/5b/What_the_hell_did_I_just_read.png
The diary of someone who's mentally ill.


From the Something Awful forums---

I never really post around on SA because half the people here are assholes and I was always worried about getting flamed. Well, I don't give a shit anymore. I need someone to listen. ANYONE.
I always thought that people from E/N were a bunch of whiny crybabies but here i am, posting away along with the rest of you--------------------

I don’t even know where to start
Today I made my mother cry today while arguing with her
I wasn’t even yelling
I should feel bad but my own father made me cry so many times I lost count
I don’t know why she wouldn’t leave him
He thinks I should be grateful I never got beaten
In his vocabulary, the words ‘verbal abuse’ does not exist
Sometimes emotion pain hurts more than physical

I need to get my shit in order so I can leave these people
I considered being an escort just so I can get the money I need to order to GTFO
Maybe I will trick some rich old guy into marrying me
So he can be my father 2.0
My life is like one fucked up drama
Have you ever wondered about those prostitutes and strippers?
This is their story

If I get married, I’ve learned that the most important thing is finding the right man
Because if you marry some loser douchebag, your kids end up fucked up like I am

I’m scheduling another appointment with my psychiatrist later
Because I need SOMEONE to understand me, or at least try to

I asked my father the other day, what was my illness called
I’m simply mentally ill, he says
I didn’t bother asking him what kind of mental illness I had because he sure as fuck don’t know

My parents keep saying that my problems stems from “playing too much videogames”
My mother said I was like a drug addict, and that video games were like cocaine
Like wtf, seriously?
But I’m not even addicted to playing video games
I only play TERA because I find it funny to fuck with people

Although I care for my parents, the feelings I have for them are not love
There is a difference between love and gratitude
I am grateful that they raised me
However, I do not love them as people, because they do not understand nor respect me
They think I’m some dumb, naïve girl who doesn’t understand how the world works
But I think I understand people very well

Today, I felt myself slowly slipping into insanity once more
The only thing keeping me sane right now is chatting with people on the internet

My mother never even went to highschool back in Asia
I don’t mean to sound condescending, but she simply does NOT understand me
She doesn’t get my sense of humor, my sarcasm, nor does she understand what is satire or irony
Every time I speak with her, I feel as if I am speaking to a child
I try to reason with her, but she simply doesn’t get it

I think I might be bipolar
I put on a happy face when speaking with people
But deep down inside, I’m a lonely and depressed person
this family has driven me insane
if I weren’t fucking related to them, I wouldn’t be speaking to them in a million years
they are like the people from global chat
maybe worse
at least I can fucking ignore the idiots from global chat
but I can’t fucking ignore my family for now
*sigh*

***JOKE BELOW***

A man goes to the doctor.
He says he's feeling depressed.
He says life that seems harsh and cruel.
He says he feels all alone in a threatening world, where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain.

The doctor replies, "Treatment is simple.”
The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight.”
“Go and see him”
“That should cheer you up”

The man bursts into tears and says, "But Doctor... I am Pagliacci."

***END OF JOKE***

Who will be the person to cheer –ME— up, if not myself?
But my mother will not even allow that
She wants to take away something important to me

My mother thinks that if I keep taking pills, everything would be magically fixed
But the truth is, the drugs would only rot my brain
Must I kill myself on the inside to satisfy her

I feel alone in this world
There is no one to understand me
Who will be the one to cheer the greatest clown?

I will take the drugs if that’s what will make my mother happy
But I can see how this will all end



***This was originally a letter I had written to my psychiatrist (but he never bothered to read it). I will be posting it here***


TOPIC: The Ramblings of a Mad Beast, a letter to my therapist

While sleeping today, I had a dream where I was left all alone in this world. I was suddenly reminded of a quote which I saw in a book—
A man who is content to live alone is either a beast or a god.

I no longer think of myself as a god, but rather as a beast.


By nature, humans are creatures who require love and attention to flourish.

In a study from 1945, Rene Spitz had found that a third of babies raised in an institution without sufficient social interaction ended up dying. Those who lived experienced physical and mental retardation. In the 1960’s, Harlow conducted a similar experiment, where baby monkeys were raised apart from their mothers and other monkeys. He would come to find that those raised in isolation developed abnormally. They would huddle in the corners of their cages and rock back and forth the way some autistic children do; they did not interact with other monkeys, or play, or show any sex drive.

Growing up, I had few friends. Although I am quiet by nature, I would not necessarily say that I am ‘shy’. I had few friends not because I was unable to make them, but rather, I simply didn’t want to. During my teenage years where most girls would worry about clothes, makeup, and boys, I was holed up in a library reading. I found most of my peers to be rather idiotic.

As I grew older and attended university, my social isolation grew worse. No longer was I affected by peer pressure. No longer did I feel the ‘need’ to make friends with people I did not care for No longer did I speak to my classmates unless it was for a group project, and it was necessary for me to interact to them. I was wholly focused on my grades and GPA. I was never the sort of person who partied and drink because I don’t feel the desire to indulge myself and waste my time with those activities. Furthermore, I hadn’t had an actual conversation with my father in months, because I didn’t find speaking with him to be a pleasant thing.

All my life, I have been a loner. My parents believe it’s due to fact that I’m quiet and shy. On the contrary, I can be rather charming when I feel like it. During my time at Millwood Hospital, I was able to make the staff and other patients laugh all throughout my stay. The majority of the people there rather liked me, in fact. And as usual, I find that I get along better with people who are older than me, rather than other kids my own age.

I can become sociable and outgoing if I wanted to. The problem is that I don’t feel desire to, because most other people simply do not interest me. I don’t find the average person to be particularly funny or interesting enough to talk to. I don’t find the average person to be smart enough to be worth my attention. Call me a narcissist and a misanthrope, if you will.

My problem thus becomes a Catch-22 scenario—I am alone because I feel that no one understands me. I refuse to reach out to others because I feel that no one will ever truly understand me, and so I remain alone… I was perfectly fine with this, or so I thought until I had my psychotic outbreak.

My parents and these “guidance counselors” would all like to believe that my psychosis stems from “playing too much videogames,” because that is the easy answer. They would all like to point fingers at the games I play, then call it a day. However, I believe my problem is a bit more complicated than that. There are millions of people around the world who play computer games, and they are not affected so adversely by them. I believe that my psychosis stems from my long-term social isolation, and the fact that I felt betrayed by my own family.

My memory has been less than perfect, but I will try to recall as much as I can.

It was December 23rd or 24th (I can’t remember), and I was on the computer, typing away ‘essays’ like this one instead of celebrating Christmas with my family. My mother was hard at work, and my father was god-knows-where. (My family has never celebrated the holidays together, and we all each do our own thing).

It was late in the evening when I heard a noise on my roof, like someone was un-installing some sort of device. My paranoia about someone ‘tracking my internet activity’ began from there. The noise was so real. I could hear someone on my roof. For reasons which I will not delve too deeply in to, I had believed that Enmasse Entertainment had sent someone over to my house to track my Internet activity, and then they were removing that device which they had previously installed.

I was home alone in that moment. Turning off all the other lights in my house, I went to take a bath as that noise continued on. Then, my father came home when the noises stopped. It felt all too coincidental for me. I could hear him in the kitchen, turning on the sink and then the disposal. My paranoia and delusions grew more severe—had he known all along what I was doing? Was he in on it? I felt betrayed.

Sitting alone in the bathtub, I wept without reservation.

It was an ugly sight—my long, black hair was in disarray. My once-beautiful long nails were cracked and broken. For the past months, I was only eating one or two meals a day, and I was having hair-loss problems due to malnutrition. My face was stained with tears and covered in snot from my crying. The skin on my fingers were wrinkled because I had dabbled in the water for too long.

And then I went perfectly silent, perfectly still. Something within me changed, and I could feel it. No longer did I feel hungry despite having not eaten that day. No longer did I feel the coldness despite being stark naked in the chilly air. My stomach would grumble, but rather than the usual hunger pains, I felt fuller. I felt more alive than I had ever been.

During that moment, I felt as if I were an immortal, as if I was some creature from someone’s experiment. No longer did I feel fear. No longer did I feel sorrow. I was under the impression that someone was there to take me away from my miserable home, to a place of beauty and warmth. They were coming for me, and I knew it.

Excitedly, I dressed, eagerly awaiting what lies in store for me. I wore thin clothes and pants despite the cold of winter. Exiting the bathroom, I headed out the garage. My father was nowhere to be found, although I was certain he had heard my cries. Opening the garage door, I stepped out into the night and laid down on the side of the road. In the far distance, I heard the faint sound of cars. They were coming for me soon.

I would continue lying there, not feeling the coldness, but only peace as I waited for someone to either run me over or save me. Either option felt the same.

It was not that I wanted to die, but rather, I felt I had no reason to live. In that moment, I felt freedom. I felt more free than I had ever been in my life. No longer did I feel fear or pain, but only a numbness as I felt I had reached some sort of enlightenment. No longer did I fear death, because only after death, we are reborn. I would gladly welcome it, I would embrace it.

Disappointingly, the one who came after me was my father. I remember him screaming at me throughout the night, telling me I was unreasonable and ungrateful for the years he had spent raising me. Whenever I think of my father, my most vivid memories of him are his screaming and lectures. Oh, he never physically beat me, but his words still hurt all the same.

But that night, it no longer mattered. He no longer mattered. No longer could he make me cry with his harsh words, as he so often did in the past. Who my father was would suddenly become inconsequential once ‘they’ came for me.

And in the morning they did.

I remember waking up in my room due to the noises from outside. I remember ranting to myself about the foolishness of the mortals waiting for me out there. I could hear them all—the ticking of the clock, the rushing water from the faucet, the flush of the toilet, the ruffling of items in my study. They were like puppets, all dancing for me.

That morning, my senses seemed to overwhelm me as they were all heightened. Each breath I took felt simply euphoric. Each step I took was exhilarating. The different colors all became more vivid to me, as each one symbolizes something: White and blue represented peace and order. Brown was the mundane, the routine. Black was the obscure, it was oblivion. But red—red was the color of chaos. Red was the color of destruction. Red was the color of anger. Oh, and what a beautiful color it was.

I remember sitting in a couch in my living room as the police interviewed me, but I found that I no longer needed to speak! Others were willing to speak for me if I gestured to them with my hands. I pointed here and there whenever someone asked me a question, and everyone was able to understand my gestures, despite not having to saying a word myself.

Eventually, they all ran out of questions as I was laughing on the inside. What idiots!

It was close to noontime when I was dragged off to the mental institution, where I was interviewed by the “Sparkly Lady” wearing red clothes along with too much makeup and jewelry. Of course, she and her ilk would claim that my problems stems from “playing too much videogames,” because that is the easy answer.


I was always the sort of person who preferred books and television shows to movies, because two hours is not long enough to get me to care for someone, or to feel empathy for them. As a result, most movies fail to make a lasting impression on me, all except for one—Fight Club.

“You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you, never wanted you, in all probability he hates you.”

In the words of George Carlin, if God exists, he is either:
A) Incompetent
B) Doesn’t give a shit

I’m leaning more towards B. The idea that there are caring gods watching over us is laughable. The idea that we can go to heaven after we die is absurd; a mere trick to get people just to behave and ‘play nicely with others’. I don’t think my family can even comprehend the fact that I might be an atheist, although I have been one since I was 12 years old. Since my psychotic outbreak, I have accepted the possibility that there may be gods out there. But if there were, they certainly don’t give a shit about us. And why would they? Most people suck and our lives are boring.

Buddhists believe in reincarnation—the idea that after our death, we reincarnate and are reborn again as another person. I find this to be more believable as opposed to the ‘fairy tale’ that all good people can simply go to heaven.

Every Sunday I head to a temple to help the nun there. I have lived for 22 years on this earth, and up until now, I haven’t done one worthwhile thing. I want to find a purpose in my life, and right now, I find that purpose by helping others through charity and volunteer work.

“Marla’s philosophy on life was that she might die at any moment. The tragedy, she says, was that she didn’t.”

It was almost Christmas Eve and I was lying on the side of the road, waiting for someone to either run me over or to save me. After I “died” that night, I no longer feared anything from this world. I don’t fear death, and I certainly don’t give a damn about what others think of me. Since my “death,” I seemed to have developed an alternate persona, a version of myself that did not care for what anyone else thinks of me.

No longer does my heart race for anyone or anything. I don’t know if these drugs have made me tranquil, or if I have really changed as a person, but no longer do I feel highly self-conscience about my looks or how others perceive me, nor do I care about what that ‘cute boy’ thinks of me. No longer do I feel the desire for another person.

“Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit that we don’t need.”

I used to buy into consumerism.

When I was young, my father would tell me that I could have anything I wanted in the future if I did well in school and had a high-paying job. The world would be mine, he said, as people would be lining up and begging for me to work for them if I was some sort of brilliant engineer.

The great irony is, after graduating from university with a near-perfect GPA, I found that there was nothing I wanted in life besides good books to read and a fast internet connection. At 22 years of age, I no longer cared for big houses, fancy cars, or designer clothes. To borrow a quote from Fight Club, “You are not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world”

“When people think you’re really dying, they actually listen instead of waiting for their turn to speak.”

After my psychotic episode, I have found that people treated me differently. My father speaks more gently to me, afraid that I might relapse. My mother and aunt showers me with attention. I am at the center of their world. And I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it. After all, aren’t humans social creatures who crave for attention?


At this point, I’m feeling like Tony Soprano— the idea of going to a therapist seems kind of dumb to me. Most of all, it is a waste of money. Why must I pay some guy $100 per visit just to listen to my problems, when I have most of it already worked out in my head? (I would rather rant in my guild’s Raidcall channel. In fact, they were the people who had helped me break apart from the delusion that someone was tracking my internet activity).

Ultimately, the only person who can save me is myself. No amount of therapy or drugs will help me if I do not have the sheer willpower to overcome my personal trials.



/end rant

I am going to a buddhist temple today because my family keeps fucking taking me to them as if i am the girl from the fucking exorcist
they hope that if I find jesus (or buddha) my problems will go away

i will check back later on this thread when i get home

Aaron4Ever
6th Apr 2015, 9:16 PM
There may be a new thread being thrown into the WTFocalypse soon.

lilipad
12th Apr 2015, 2:30 AM
Mental illness is complicated. If only it was easy. Bless us humans, so simple yet so complicated.

I loved your original post about the 'Elins'. Who would have thought? But then again I play Lord of the Rings online and have about 5 Hobbits in all different classes. They're all fully clothed. I give them surnames like 'Hairyfeet' and 'Furryfoot'.

No speedos in LOTRO however you can have bare chested dwarves, which in my personal opinion, are much better looking.