Simmers! I am BORED with the scope of cheating in the game! I have the autonomous romance mod, but once I get my married sims wooing other sims... It's like... Where do I go from here? It doesn't negatively impact the marriage (provided the spouse doesn't know, obv.) I have a mod that allows for breaking up a marriage even when their relationship score is high, but of course it's not like they roll wants to break up with their spouses or anything like that.

How do you decide to proceed with affairs? Do you have rules?

I thought I might look at the time of wants rolling - for instance, if the sim rolls a want to woohoo while the spouse isn't home, this is treated as a desire to woohoo with their lover, and maybe that indicates that they're more interested in breaking off the marriage and pursuing that relationship, etc.

I usually have it as a 1 nighter.

I think there are actual wants to break up and move out, but I think I've only seen them once or twice. Since it's so rare, though, what happens depends more on how I see the sims' personalities and how they act afterward. For example, Camryn Cooke had no qualms about cheating on her husband Julien. She was always rolling wants to fall in love with and woohoo several sims. Not just generic Woohoo 3 Sims type wants, either. Wants with specific sims attached to them. When she had a date or woohoo want and her husband wasn't available, I saw her as the sort who would happily call up a lover to fulfill those wants even when they were generic. At certain points, she even got away with flirting autonomously around her husband. When she finally did make him angry (by accepting a blind date when I thought he was asleep on the couch), I expected the relationship to blow up. But it didn't. I think Julien slapped her the once. She didn't retaliate. And in spite of having ample opportunity to fight each other, they very clearly avoided doing so. I've had so many sims stalk their cheating partners, that I was surprised when it never came up in Julien's queue. Instead, they eventually sat down to watch tv together and Camryn started out the conversation with the symbol for cheating. I interpreted it as Camryn being honest about how she felt trapped in a traditional relationship and Julien agreeing with her. They autonomously repaired their relationship on their own, without any real help from me. So they never divorced, Julien only cared about her cheating if she did it at inappropriate moments in his presence, and Camryn carried on having outside lovers. The arrangement has worked out for them and they're now elders.

On the other hand, I've had sims who very clearly weren't the sort to put up with those kind of shenanigans or had a limit to their patience. When Rod Picaso's girlfriend Ruth Gavigan cheated on him with another boy, he was furious and let her know it. Unlike Julien, I didn't see him as someone who would easily forgive such a thing. So for them, I had them break up. Terri Ottomas put up with her boyfriend's philandering for a short time, not really reacting when it happened, but once it started getting out of hand she stormed off to the hot tub he had been coaxing fellow co-eds into and let him know enough was enough. Since there was evidence he wasn't going to stop, I thought she would end up breaking up with him.

In the past, I have had cheating partners beg forgiveness and try to work on the relationship, but again it comes down to how I see their personality. Maybe they really do want to try again and be faithful. Or maybe they're just trying to smooth things over so they can get back to their affairs, just being more careful the next time around.

I usually play pre-mades as their bios indicate; both totally faithful; ORr trying to DO everyone (sometimes not caring if they get caught). Or somewhere in between - like maybe the husband will do anything except woo-hoo. With custom made Sims, my aliens often have plural marriages, like a husband with many wives, or many men & women - sometimes with everyone bi. ARC makes them non-jealous at home, but sex with "Earthlings" (or may just anyone outside their group) is forbidden. Families often break up and reform; I especially do this with pre-mades who are not even attracted to their spouse. Aliens are more "fun"; they either make the offender become the "slave" (baby tender, house keeper, etc), where they often die in childbirth. Or they just kill them. "Stop sniveling, kid. Your mom was a dirty HUMAN lover!"

What mod is this? Does it have any negativativiy that goes with it.. such as a drop in their score?

in past times playing, I had Don Lothario and Daniel Pleasant do affairs with various former NPCs. used insimenator many of those times.
never had any mod for autonomous Woohoo; nor any that changed breakup rules.

as far as I recall, breakup has always been a Fear in my game; never a Want.
though several of my sims had a Want to move out.

I'm guessing they are talking about Midgethetree's break up mod found in here: https://midge-the-tree.livejournal.com/20926.html

Disclaimer: I do not have any ACR in my game and I will never use it.

I don't have any hard and fast rules on extra-martial affairs, rather I implement affairs and play them out in whichever way it makes sense for the Characters/Sims and storylines involved. Sometimes I follow the whoms of a married Romance Sim to sleep with half the town, other times I play them as yes, sometimes thinking about cheating on their spouse, but still staying faithful to them. Sometimes it will be a one-time thing, sometimes a Sim will cheat on their spouse mutliple times or even frequently/constantly. Sometimes the whole thing leads to a divorce and sometimes the other partner find in in them to forgive the cheating party. And sometimes they get divorced and marry again after some time apart.
Also a Sim in my hood doesn't have to be a Romance Sim to sleep around or start an affair. In my current hood Dina Caliente was a Wealth/Pleasure Sim, was married twice, engaged trice and cheated on all of her husbands/fiances.

Though I gotta admit it's not *very* common for my Sims to cheat, but not *very* rare either.

I don't like ACR. I have no-jealousy-at-all and that allows sims to strike up relationships where they like, so all my sims are polyamorous. I play with aging off, so we have lots of time to develop different stories. Kids are born here and there but rarely to the same two parents, if ever. I like the changes that result over time with shifting relationships/households/etc. They are rarely married, but some sims continually return to each other. Women are often more free-spirited while kids seem to more often stay with the dad. But, whatever makes the story my sims seem to lean toward. My sims and I don't care for rules.

Mine still have to find a lot to do it (for the lots where it could happen and many others I block married sims from showing up, but of course ones you are playing still can) or do it when the other sim is working. I have the mod for no Jealousy unless married/engaged/going steady.

Very rarely. Occasionally a sim chooses to be unfaithful. I had sim kiss his old college girlfriend at a friends wedding, luckily his wife wasn't there. So if the sims do so on free will it's of their own choosing, otherwise no I don't play affairs, I like happy families.

When there's extra-marital affairs in my game, there's 2 kinds-the long-standing affair, and the one nighters.
There are few of the long-standing ones in (for example) Tinsel Town.

The most famous one, Darrell Walton and Kristen Swanson, lasted nearly 25 years, resulted in divorces for both of them, marriage for them, then a hasty breakup that resulted from Kristen's long standing attachment to her ex-husband Wayne, who had remarried after their divorce. She succeeded in breaking up Wayne's 2nd marriage and ended up with him moving back in with her.
There are others who just grow tired of each other and divorce after so many years together..and yet others ignore their spouses flirtations.

Then there's the 7 year itch, which can be scratched at the local motel. They rarely lead to anything seriously happening to a marriage, unless the cheating partner decides to fall in love with their one night stands.

It all depends on the people, and their relationship with each other.

Almost all my affairs are female cheating on their husbands. I like having ones who would be in their 30s or 40s cheating with University students. Non-playable are 1st semester freshmen who would be 18 years old. Playable would be no older than 21-22. I remember a couple non-trads when I was 19-21 getting my psych degree (not married.) I was 28 I was 36. I would have gone for either and think they would nave too, but I didn't get it at the time. I was 21 the 28 year old bought me a 6 pack of beer. There was a girl 1 year older who definitely tried to get me in bed, but I didn't get it. Glad I didn't even though she was quite attractive. She went to grad school and later got convicted of stalking a prof she had a fling with and sued the school and him.

To each their own but just a small note on ACR. I do use it and yet my sims stay faithful. Part of that is you can choose your settings for each Sims token and for my married sims I set them to spouse only. Pretty simple. As for jealousy you can also choose to set it to aspiration or relationship based on the hood or you can also choose to set it per token. I only mention this as it seemed a few people were implying the ACR would cause affairs and while it could if it's set that way it does have other settings that allow for monogamy.
As far as how I play them, to be honest I don't really. I'm just not a fan of manufacturing drama for the sake of it. Most of the drama I have revolves around singles who may be attempting to juggle multiple romances.

One of the main reasons I picked up ACR was the ability to choose who was free to cheat and who wasn't. After the game decided to have one of my sims cheat while he was uncontrolled, even though when I played him he refused any flirtations by others, I didn't trust it not to ruin my sims' relationships. Now I don't have to worry about sims who are normally faithful when I play them (or that I perceive as the faithful sort) being turned into cheaters behind my back!

I'd still base that want on their personality. If they were the faithful type then I'd interpret it as wanting to seduce their partner when they got home.

Some of my married sims never cheat; some cheat once in a lifetime and some cheat with everyone that they like - it does seem to depend on personality, two of my knowledge sims are the worst offenders here.

I have a romance sim who never cheats - she is happily married and her LTW is to be a celebrity chef. While she sometimes rolls the woohoo and 3 lovers wants, it does seem to me as if she if quite happy without it - she is in perma platinum anyway and not even a celebrity chef yet (she is married to one of the two knowledge cheaters, though )

I don't really concentrate on that - while I did play romance sims getting the 20 lovers in the past, it tends to get boring and I am playing the hood more as a cohesive unit where every sim plays a part.

Through the years, I may have had 3 divorces - sims actually rolled the wants, yes, to break up with their spouses, in the right circumstances - but the last couple was only divorced for 3 days when they both rolled a want to ask each other out, and before the end of the week, they were married again - so I don't waste my time on that anymore.

I had a Romance sim who was always faithful too. His boyfriend faithfully obliged him with all his woohoo in various places wants and he was always in high aspiration.

I tried the 20 lovers want once. I had about 4 and it got way too stressful for me. I couldn't take my sim anywhere for fear her lovers would meet. XD

It's just about all I do, I made it so in my game sims don't get any more 'Had an Affair' memories once they have twenty, its no longer a memorable event. My game can keep score and the average number of partners for my adult sims is 77, with highest now over 640.

@Charity - the other lovers, even in the vanilla game - no problem once the romance sim can smooth talk (which is why I say romance sims can have it too easy - while that poor family sim, who has done nothing at all, just a another sim giving a wolf whistle - has to be slapped around for weeks on end!)


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I just don't get romance sims married. I have a "No jealousy unless married/engaged/going steady"-mod in my game, so it's easy sailing.

I'm not sure whether I'm impressed or appalled.
It's your game, after all, so you do whatever you like.

It's easy if you have teen woohoo and your sim goes to University.

Camryn Cooke is a Popularity sim and she has most definitely, uh, outperformed all of my Romance sims . As a premade, she didn't even get her Romance secondary for a long while. And she only got it because she had already shown her tendencies. I think the only sim likely to catch up to her is Kenny Wilkie. I'm actually starting to run into a little bit of trouble fulfilling her wants, as the hood doesn't have that many playables or townies for her to sift through for lovers.

This is related so I hope you don't mind my asking people here who play with a lot of jealousy/cheating... does anyone know a way I can turn on jealousy just for one sim? I love no-jealousy-at-all for the game, but there's just one I'd like to act that way if possible.