Hello! First I apologize because I do not speak English, this text was translated with Google ...! Sorry!

I am a "builder Sims" ... hehe! I'm long, I love your site because it offers a great material, and completely free!

The reason for my post is to change my nickname...! From "casmar07" a "casmar" only ...! Many times people think that "casmar 07" is "casmaro 7"! Not if I explain good! Zero is replaced by an "o", and people read it wrong ...! Besides everyone calls me "casmar" without, not to mention the "07 "...!

I'm trying to change my nickname in all the websites that I'm registered ...! Mainly SimControl where normally upload my creations ...! Some time ago I tried to post here, but not speaking English was a big difficulty for me ..!

Well, I hope not having bored with my story! I await your response, a hug from the shores of the Mediterranean Sea ...!


(Granted.)

Hai, I want my name to be IndycentSimCreations instead of Indycent. I already checked the site, and there is no IndycentSimCreations. Funny story now.

Every night, Indycent would go down to the liquor store, get a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, and left.

The next night, after he finished his 3th beer, the doorbell rang.

He walked slowly to the door and found the same six-foot cockroach standing there. The big bug punched him in the stomach, then left.
The next night, after he finished his 1st beer, the doorbell rang again. The same six-foot cockroach was standing there. This time he was kneed in the groin and hit behind the ear as he doubled over in pain. Then the big bug left.

The fourth night Indycent didn't drink at all. The doorbell rang. The cockroach was standing there. The bug beat the snot out of Indycent and left him in a heap on the living room floor.

The following day, Indycent went to see his doctor. He explained events of the preceding four nights. "

" What can I do? " he pleaded.

" You could change your name, " The doctor replied. " What is your name?"

" Indycent, " he replied "Maybe i could be named IndycentSimCreations....."

Indycent decided to change his name to IndycentSimCreations, and the bug never came back again.
Maybe the bug hated the name as much as he did.

(Granted)

I would like to change my user name because this is the first site that I had ever signed up for and I didn't know that I was suppose to have a fictitious name. I try not to post here because of it . I forgot where I was and posted on the sister site. If that isn't funny enough, then my cat ate my username.

I would like it to be changed to Access Denied.

(Granted)

Simly, a veteran Sims player having played the Sims games for ten years, finally decided to start creating custom content herself. So she thought about possible items she could create. She decided some clothes and maybe a couple of new eye contacts would be nice for a start. She read a lot of tutorials and worked with different tools for days (she being a perfectionist and needing to fix all sorts of small things before being happy with her stuff). It didn't help matters much that her graphics tablet decided now was the time to mock her endlessly by having all sorts of malfunctions.
But that was not all Simly had to endure while working on her creations. Her jealous cat didn't like being ignored for such a trivial thing as Sims stuff and decided to screw things up a bit, also seeking revenge by hunting down the Hand of Creation holding the mouse, resulting in screams of pain and forced intermissions of Simly's work.
With a few creations finally being done and working properly, another problem came up - she needed a proper name identifying her as the one who put all her effort into a tiny little something.
She pondered for hours and finally decided she would like to be known as "Simlicious". Unfortunately, she had already registered under the name Simly at her favorite Sims 3 website.

Now, Simly would be very happy to receive the new username Simlicious so she can share her new creations properly!


(Granted.)

ermm... A duck walked into a pub and said 'Can I have some bread?', the Barman said 'We don't serve bread.' so the duck asked the barman again, 'Can I have some bread?' and the barman began to get more angry and said 'We don't do bread.' so then the duck asked again and the barman said 'If you ask for bread again, I'm going to nail your beak the bar.' so the duck asked 'Can I have some nails?' and the barman said 'I don't have any nails.' so the duck asked 'Got any bread?'

OK, am I alone with that one? Please, just Dynare, that's all I ask for.


(Denied, already taken, or overlooked... And we are now passing the 100th post from the original thread.)

I would like my name to be changed from joninmobile to TheNinthWave. The reason for this is because I'm tired of my tires being slashed by J.M. Pescado. The poor joninmobile has had it's tires slashed countless times, so much so that I can't drive it anymore! My car insurance coverage has canceled out on me, and no one will insure the joninmobile, they think I'm just slashing my own tires to collect the insurance. He also locked me up in a small room with limited supplies to mass produce the Jonin Mobile seen here:













I was about to lose all hope on ever finding any food or sunlight, until the gracious Nonni found me curled up in the room half dead. Clinging to a tire rim chanting TheNinthWave, TheNinthWave, TheNinthWave.

So as you can see I need a shiny new hot rod like TheNinthWave, I've been a good boy, and have been saving up my simoleons for this day to come.

Also, for a more serious reason, I've had several people come to me saying that either joninmobile stole something made by TheNinthWave, or TheNinthWave stole something made by joninmobile, when they don't realize I am the same person, and it's incredibly annoying and frustrating to explain it to them all.

(Denied. Oh, and the pictures mentioned are in post 104 of that thread. Included because it got several "funny" votes. Including one from me.)

I would like my name to be changed to Lemon&Lime preferably, but don't mind LemonAndLime, but the reason for this name change is because my username is a nickname my first love and first boyfriend gave me, and it reminds me of a horrendous break-up, being dumped for a younger blonde and then 6 months of clinical depression while having to see them everyday at college. Is that humourous enough for you?!?!?! *bursts into floods of tears*

The story is true but I'm not actually sad about it any more, I just wanted to see whether pulling heartstrings works as well as humour.

P.S. I REALLY like Sprite, Lemonade, Lemon&Lime cola, sweets, etc :D

_______________________________________________________________________
Her second try:

Please change my username to Lemon&Lime, or LemonAndLime.

My funny story - Once when I got drunk, my friend wrote "Loser" on my forehead while I was passed out on the sofa. I didn't realise until several hours later, AFTER I had been to the local shop to buy some orange juice to help recover from the hangover xD I can laugh at it now, but then, man I was angry.

Edit: Reason for the namechange is that Figgi was a nickname an ex-boyfriend gave me. He left me for someone else publically and he was my first love, so it kinda hurt a bit. I left the forums for a while after it happened (not really due to him leaving me) but now I'm back I don't like being reminded of him by my username, I have a much kinder boyfriend now who appreciates me more.

________________________________________________________________________
Third Try

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water
Jack fell, sobbed, and broke-his-plumbob
and Jill came tumbling after.
Up got Jack, and home did trot
As fast as he could jog,
He went to bed and bound his head
With vineger and fresh plumbobs.

I offer this pathetic attempt at Sim-ifying a nursary rhyme in return for changing my username to Lemon&Lime/LemonAndLime.
Hopefully it was so bad it made peoople laugh.

(Granted eventually)

I would like my username changed to Rikachu.

Story:
Sally decide to take a trip to a desert island one day. So, on her first day there, she decided to have a little fun and jump into a volcano. She narrowly missed being incinerated by the volcano's fiery depths by a giant chicken who swooped in and flew her to the moon. While on the moon, a green cat with a mustache and pinnacle asked asked her to tea. She had tea with Mr. Mooncat, who proceeded to attempt hit her in the back of the head with a 2x4, while screaming, "TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TIME!" (Mr. Mooncat liked to play golf with 2x4s. None of his friends knew why.) Sally had, fortunately, heard him scream and ducked just in time. Mr. Mooncat's minions, the gophers of anti-gravity, then rushed her and tied her down with ropes so she wouldn't be able to move, in the hopes that Mr. Mooncat would actually be able to hit her and use her head for golf. Just then, Mr. Mooncat got a call to come into the office for a meeting, and told his minions to "Just get rid of her." They then proceeded to cover her in whip cream. They started chanting, "Doorknob! Whipped cream! Doorknob! Whipped cream!" (The gophers were a strange bunch.) The giant doorknob of Whippedcreamyness, the gophers' celestial god, then appeared, and ate Sally because of all the delicious whipped cream covering her body. A few days later, the doorknob of Whippedcreamyness regurgitated her (He had a VERY slow metabolism) up because she tasted like cheese (Sally Loved cheese. She ate so much of it she eventually tasted like it), which goes horrible with whipped cream. He then called up the magical flying carpet of Perez Hilton. Perez decided to show her around the world, joy! They visited Paris and ate escargot, Mumbai and saw a Bollywood movie, even Atlantis, to dine with the merpeople! But then, Perez turned on her. "I want your body." Perez said. In a desperate attempt to get free, she jumped off the carpet into the Sahara des(s)ert. She landed in a giant pile of cotton candy, yum! That's when it happens. The sky turns dark, and - What's this? Giant slices of cheese rain from the sky! She is in heaven!

But, that's not all! She then wakes up in her bed at home, no cotton candy, and no cheese. All of it was a dream! She slowly gets out of bed, only to slip on a slice of cheese and hit her face on the doorknob. She retains a black eye, but all is well, because she has a slice of cheese! Unfortunately, she then learns her parents are sending her to Bel-Air.
(Originally a story I had written to respond to a question on Yahoo Answers. I edited it to fit this more. )

I hope that was stupidly funny enough to get my name changed. .


(granted)

Hope this one will do...

Male stripper
The other day, my friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill.
When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!
Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She calls the guy back over, licks the $20 bill, and sticks it to his other butt cheek.
In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulls out a $50 bill and calls the guy over, and licks the bill.
I'm worried about the way things are going, but fortunately she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks, again. My relief was short lived.
Seeing the way things are going, the guy gyrates over to me! Now everyone's attention is focused on me, and the guy's egging me on to try to top the $50.
My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet. What could I do? Then the marketer in me took over!
I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his ass, grabbed the 80 bucks, and went home. . .


(Granted)

new username: gemmawolf

well, there i was, wishing to find great downloads for the sims 2, when suddenly i was enlightened. "Mod the Sims 2", a site where you can upload, download, chat, browse - custom heaven! i registered right away, but that one problem in my life turned up jsut as i typed in my username - parents...
"have you tidied your room?"
"can you set the table?"
"you've been on that machine too long!"
"dont use that tone with me!!!"
while i was being bombarded with chores and insults my attention span slipped, and i failed to see my fatal mistake before hitting the submit button. only when i couldn't log on did i realise that i had committed a *dun dun duuun*... typo...
and i think you will find from this message that i am still committing th esame crime because my parents are still nagging me to clean my room.


(Granted. And the post just above this one wins the award for the most effort put into a denied username change. Picture, song, current name is a weird mix of caps and small letters, and even a joke. But discussing piracy in a post designed to be read by admins killed it.)

Hello,

sorry to bother you but can you please change my username to WayBack?

The name Oprah belongs to someone I used to be many years ago. People keep asking me about Oprah Winfrey and I honestly haven't seen a single one of her shows. So I need to explain that Oprah is short of Oprah Noodlemantra, the nick name Johnny Depp used in "Freddy's Death: The Final Nightmare". Then they ask me "Oh, are you a Johnny Depp fan?" And my answer is "No, not anymore." It's time for a change.

Have you noticed how hard it is today to register a new name? All the good ones are already taken and if you don't want to be named KittyPrettyVampireSparkle1876, then you have to be really creative to find a good name that means something to you, is easy to type and remember and doesn't take a half of the forum page.

Anyway, as all this babbling probably doesn't count as a funny story, here is a joke, an old one but I love it:

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"

"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques - visualization, association - it's made a big difference for me."

"That's great! What was the name of that clinic?" Fred went blank. He thought and thought but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"

"You mean a rose?"

"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife. "Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"

----------
(Granted)

Gah, I hate my username! I don't know what possessed me to type that one in. Just be forewarned, I have a pretty random sense of humor. This story happened years ago, but the randomness of it still makes me laugh for some reason.

My best friend and I were driving along, doing whatever, and we spot this guy walking down the sidewalk carrying an acoustic guitar. After my friend ordered me to slow down (lest he honk my horn in retaliation for not adhering to his demand), I slowed the car down to a gentle roll. (Thankfully this was on a residential street so I did not hinder traffic.) He rolled down the passenger side window, stuck his head out in the guy's direction, and called out in a very high and comical voice, "Oh, look! It's a traveling minstrel!" Guitar man's "what the hell" face still makes me laugh to this day. I still wonder what was going through the guy's mind.

Keep in mind that I am very amused by old-timey things such as monocles, the bikes with the big wheel in front, and the 19th president of the United States Rutherford B. Hayes, who I always thought looked like a grizzled old prospector. Therefore I request that my username be changed to Traveling Minstrel. Granted, a minstrel is more of a medieval term, but hey...medieval is pretty old-timey! Right?


(Name Not Changed)

I'm horrible at being amusing, except when I'm being serious and say something other than what I mean to say. But I'll give it a shot. Sorry if this is too long, by the way o.o

Once upon a time in a world where heads were gigantic and bodies were teeny, there was a girl named Rose. Rose was a fire/poison wizard. She liked to hone her skills in a deep, dark forest where others seldom went. She enjoyed the peace and quiet, and the giant stone creatures that lived there were good to train on at her skill level. The giant stone creatures didn't burn well, but they did have a single pretty flower on top of their heads.

One day Rose was training in this forest, enjoying the solitude while chatting with her friends via the chatbox that existed in this world. She decided to take a break for a bit, so she hung on a rope ladder where she was safe from the stone creatures. As she was speaking to her friends, a hermit swooped down from the tops of the trees and began killing all the monsters. Now in this world, hermits were actually advanced assassins, not old men that lived on top of mountains or whatever you probably think hermits are. Many of the other jobs hated these assassins. They often kill stealed and thought they were full of awesomeness. They thought they were the best. They had inflated egos.

Rose was outraged that the hermit had swooped down so suddenly (swooping is bad). She told her friends, "What the heck? A level 70 hermit invaded my map!" Unfortunately, Rose's brain and fingers didn't often work well together. As she was typing, she noticed a message that her mom had just come home and was putting up groceries. She ended up telling her friends, "What the heck? A level 70 hermit invaded my mom!" Much laughing followed.

The hermit eventually left, either being one of the rare hermits that didn't like to kill steal, or because he just didn't want to train there. Rose continued to train, and made many other horrendous typos throughout the day. The end.

And that's why I want to change my name to soledestiny. Because obviously the "shadow" in my name reminds me too much of the much hated assassins that love to kill steal. And because I hate this name now and don't know why I signed up with it in the first place and would like my name here to match my username at other places. Thanks for your time, whether you change my name or not.

(Name not changed)

I would like to have my username changed to NixNivis.


You see, once upon a time there was a little girl called nixnivis who didn't have a Shift key. Her parents were poor and couldn't afford to buy nixnivis a keyboard with a Shift key, because Shift keys were so expensive. (Besides, the keyboards without Shift keys were on sale.) This made nixnivis very sad, because all the other little girls had Shift keys and could type capital letters, and they didn't want to play with nixnivis because she could only type lower-case letters.

One day, nixnivis was sitting all alone on a parch bench, and she was crying because the other girls didn't want to play with her. "I wish I had a Shift key!" she sobbed. "If I had a Shift key, life would be bright and shiny and filled with puppies and kittens and I could start my name with a capital letter like all the other girls! And I could have a capital letter in the middle of it, too, even though it was completely uncalled for, and it would confuse the socks off everybody who was going to type it!"

Then, suddenly, there was a magical hum in the air, and when nixnivis looked up, a beautiful lady wearing a dress made of keyboard keys and with capital letters in her hair was standing in front of her.

"I am the Keyboard Godmother," the lady said, "and I bring you good news of great joy. Never again will you have to type only in lower-case, for from this day forward, your keyboard shall be complete!" Then she disappeared - but where she had been standing, a golden Shift key was lying!

And from that day, nixnivis was known as NixNivis and all the other little girls wanted to play with her, life was bright and shiny and filled with puppies and kittens, and she could use capital letters whenever she wanted and in all the boring stories she wrote, even when it was Completely Uncalled For.

THE END


Edit: And now NixNivis and all her Shift keys will live happily ever after! Thank you!


(As you can probably tell, it was granted.)

Hi, me again,
Request: Name changed to TrivialSim.

Note: It comes under the account name of one of my other accounts (Back when I didn't know of the name change feature) which has now been merged and only half exists now.

So, one day, "BBBE99" and "TrivialSim" were sitting at a table. After discussing many things from the flavour of Grilled Cheese sandwiches to BB's funny sounding name, they came to 2 conclusions.
1. Ginger Biscuits actually taste better in coffee
but 2. TrivialSim made more sense than BBBE99 (Which could stand for BigBrainsBiggerEgo -- obviously)

BBBE99 was out of look, he's usually get his clothes off the peg, but his neighours started hanging their washing indoors. He was a war-baby, his parents started fighting when they first saw him. His toilet was stolen, but when asked for proof, he had nothing to go on. Actually, each time his money was robbed, the thief would be better dressed each time. He once had a striking personality, but it's been on strike for quite a while now...

TrivialSim, however, was far superior, he was sitting on the comfy chair at the table.
He could have 8 cans of Coke and burp 7-Up. He brought to light so many of Sim-Kinda most begging questions. Why does 'Lisp' have an 's'? Why doesn't 'phonetic' sound how it's spelt? Why is 'abbreviation' so long?
Clearly a clever-clogs, he even had more popularity on YouTube. Whereas BBBE99 had NO fame at all.

So BBBE99 was sitting there, TrivialSim, also sitting there, well, not there. No-there. Over bit--Yeah. There.
BB's lips were getting cut from the grindingness which would represent jealousy.
TrivialSim, still young, happy. And wanting to announce himself to the world (Which is ModTheSims).

It's a competition.
Who will win in this somewhat non-existent battle of fame and wits to have the dominant name?

The winner: ... ... ... ... ...

It's all up to Whiterider/HystericalParoxysim/some other moderator who puts a lot of time into helping us.

Fingers crossed...
Basically, could I have name changed to "TrivialSim" just in case the story made you forget of my original request?
________________________________________________________________________________________

Second try


One fateful day, BBBE99 needed a name change. Oh, it was unbearable, all the stuff that is too embarassing to mention. BB couldn't stand it any longer. He wanted to go to MTS HQ. So he walked through the doors of this enourmous building.
The lady at the desk told him to go next to door, as you can't get your name changed in a kettle-shop.
Ah.
MTS HQ was next-door. "I knew that" said a bright red BBBE99...

The building wasn't HUGE, but it was hardly some trampy little shack-thing like BBBE99 lived in...

So after again walking into this building, BB went to the desk and asked the lady at the receptionist,
"I want to request a name change"
The receptionist looked at him with a look that would be worth more than BBs house 10 times over (Yes, it's only worth about £10)
"Why do you seem confused? I've rang up everyone, Whiterider told me to come here, MTS to get a name change..."
The lady's face changed to something like one of those boring police officers who wanted to start a survey...
"Well, sir. I don't know what on earth you're on about. But this building, MTS HQ. It's the Mustard Tart Society Head Quaters" BB looked shocked,
" You serious? That was just some cheap top-off-your-head 'what else could MTS stand for?' thing. Tell me where to get my name changed? I know this is Mod The Sims HQ"
The lady looked again, she was wearing dark red lipstick for effect,
" The Sims? Are you serious? How trivial..."
" So Sims is trivial? So am I a trivialsim?"
BBBE99 had an amazing thought,
" Can you change my name to TrivialSim!?"
By the time this was thought, he was at the real ModTheSims HQ
The man at the desk said,
"Okay, hold on a sec while I ask our moderators..."
The dials Whiteriders number,
"Hello, BBBE99 is requesting a name change to TrivialSim. How can I proceed?"

That's all up to WhiteRider...

How's that for unorthodox!?

_____________________________________________________

Third Try


"Never take life seriously... No one gets out alive..."
-My own quote...

The story...
INTRO
In a world full of talkative pies and cheeky kettles here and there,
yes, this was normal eveywhere,
there was a thing... Like a guy, but more random...

STORY
He entered a building, and there was a floating piece o' poo,
"Oh, gosh, what shall I do?"
So our guy sat,
opposite the dung - wearing a top hat,
The excrement asked,"Name?",
"BBBE99" said our guy with shame,
"I'm here to make a request..."
The dung replied,"Well you came to the very best!"
And then, with a tear in his eye:
"Oh, I want to die!"
Our poo said,"Um, what was that again?"
He asked, while getting out a sparkly pen,
"I want to start fresh...
From my name and memories to bones and flesh."
Our poo put on some glasses,"So, say you could start again...
What would you be called then?"
A name?!
Was this a game?!
"I assure you not..."
"Now I have to think - a lot..."
BB thought,"Nothing too big, nor too thin...
And has to include the word 'Sim'..."
So now imagine... (I'm talkin' to you...)
This guy, sat infront of poo...
While the situation is very lame,
all he wants is a new name...

CONCLUSION
What name meets the criteria?
TrivialSim
So, dear moderator, do BBBE99 a favour,
and give him the name with more flavour...
TrivialSim...

SPECIAL OFFER (EXPIRED!)
Quick! Change name within a week and get a chance to meet and HUG the famous poo mentioned in the story! An offer no one can refuse!

Edit:
*Thankyou so so much! I finally have my name changed! And whichever moderator did it, please step up, you're in for a chance to hug the giant poo in my story!
I can't thank you enough

(Granted)

Hello,

Once upon a time was a young, naive programmer which thought it was funny to make up a nickname based on he's first name and the magic number '420'. He used that nickname all over the Internet and was proud to check Google periodically to see how popular he was becoming. Overtime, though, he became less naive, less stupid and more mature, and started to fade the use of that nickname, and instead started using his full real name.

The nickname 'Tom420' would even be banned here if only 10% of the crowd knew what it meant.

My request is to please change the name 'Tom420' for 'Tom Duhamel'. I think the space is allowed, if not, just remove it, but keep capitals. Before you ask: No, I am not related to a famous motorcycle racer, nor a comedian from Transformers. As far as I can tell, I am not related to a French writer, neither. I am, however, related to Tom Thumb.

Just ask if you need proof of identity, such as birthdate, mother's maiden name, name of pets, or the name of the street I have been living as a child.

Once I wear the new nickname, please let people know that I would prefer not to start receiving visit from young virgins as gifts. I will accept their visit for any other reason though.

(Granted)

I’m requesting a name change to Phoeberg, please. Just my first name and the initials of my middle and last names.

This is genuinely one of the most embarrassing moments of my life I’m about to tell. Ever seen that movie 'National Lampoon's European Vacation'? Well...

We were taking a family vacation in Germany. Unfortunately no family vacation is complete in my family unless you return having been totally humiliated, and this vacation was no different. We’d made the huge mistake of hiring a car and driving around the country. Mistake number one was when my father pulled out of the airport having been in the country less than 30 minutes and turned left onto the highway. The screams of “TURN AROUND DAD, THEY DRIVE ON THE RIGHT HERE!” could probably be heard in Austria, along with all the horns from the numerous disgruntled German drivers. Mistake number two was my brother’s fault. We’d been driving for hours and had finally found the hotel, but no matter how many circles of the hotel we made we could not find that darn underground parking lot. Until my brother helpfully cried out, “There it is!” My dad made a sharp turn into the entrance, drove down several feet until he found it too narrow to go any further and my mother said, "Why are there stairs in front of us?"…we’d driven into an underpass for pedestrians to get across the road safely underground and were now effectively stuck. I did what any self-respecting teenager would do; undid my seatbelt and sat on the floor so nobody could see me. Unfortunately my father had other ideas for me and made me get up from the safety of the floor, roll down my window and shout sorry out of the car repeatedly in German to the bemused residents while he edged the car back out at what felt like an inch every five minutes. I added my own phrase of “My father can’t drive!” to the end of it as revenge, seeing as he can’t speak any German….The vacation only got worse for me after that. A few days later I fell off the back of a pedalo into a large lake fully dressed and without any other clothes with me to change into. Some Germans laughed. My brother screeched with laughter. My sympathetic parents made me sit on plastic bags in the car on the way back to the hotel so I wouldn't leave a wet patch on the seat. We haven’t hired a car in a foreign country since.

(Granted)

Funny story? I'll give it a go...
[If my story proves to be funny, I'd like my username to be changed to Fallaryn, please.]

Today, I went out to the chicken coop to clean out all the droppings that have accumulated over the past few days. I found all five chickens in the coop - not what I wanted. It would be much easier if they were out grazing and safely out of my way. I cleaned the droppings out, then proceeded to take out three of the ancient, moldy bales from the coop. Then I went to pick up one of the fresh straw bales...

"HRNNNNNNGH!" I grunted as I tried to lift the bundled, rectangular bale. The rain did its job in adding an extra thirty pounds to the bales. Well, dang.

I retreated to the coop and moved the straw around to clear a path so I could drag the bale to the north wall when I eventually got it inside. I went to see my mom and she picked one up with relative ease. I'm 18, and today is her 52nd birthday, and she has bad shoulders. She dropped it in the doorway of the coop, and I proceeded to push and heave the bale to the far wall, grunting loudly. After a while I realized the sounds I was making could easily be related to being on the toilet.

My mom carried two more bales to the coop, and I struggled with both of them to place them where they belonged, still grunting and moaning along the way from the extreme weight of them. After that I told my mom, "No more, please!" and she said, "All right..."

We then talked for a bit about the chickens (they, particularly the rooster, were being vocal toward us), when suddenly—

Ceiling cat!

Well, not really 'ceiling', but in all honesty that was the impression my cat gave me when she popped her head over the edge of the roof to look down at us.


(Granted)

Can i have my name changed to hudy777DeSign
Her how the story goes:

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never do anything for sims
just download stuff
But I spent so many nights
thinking how to do something
I grew strong
I learned how make raw model
and so i'm back
from outer space
I just made my first set
with that set i became creator
I should have pick the other name
I should have made my name more recognizable
If I had known for just one second
that i would be this good


(Granted)

I agree with you, Vampire_of_Death.

I'd like to tell a funny story (to keep the Mods happy) but I don't want my name changed.

It's a few weeks or months ago that I banged my shoulder at the doorframe (at work) and - because I had been lost in thoughts - I said "sorry". My colleague asked me "who did you apologize to?" and I said "...err... the doorframe" (just realizing how embarrassing it was) - we had a big laugh that day.

Just recently I banged my knee at the table-leg and a few minutes later I told my colleague about it and that it was still aching. She just asked me "did you apologize?"


(By Yogi Tea)

I would like to change my username from "channTL" to "chann." This short tale should explain why.

***

It was a busy day in the central plaza of Modh Tasim, the largest port on the Oedican Sea trade route. Warm desert winds blew in from the north, while the sun beat down on the city.

A swarthy young man passed the lightly tanned market-goers and children playing ball in the streets, striding towards the records hall at the edge of the plaza. As he entered the building, he took one last chance to straighten his posture and adjust his unkempt hair.

He strode towards one of the clerks in the stone-floored lobby, sporting the customary shaved head required of all bureaucrats in the Emperor's service. The clerk looked up at the young man.

"How may I help you this day?"
"I'd like to change my name."
"Certainly, I can add the records for you. Follow me."

The clerk led him down a corridor and to a small office, where he fetched a quill and paper.

"Take a seat, sir. Allow me to make some notes first. What is your current name?"

The young man cleared his throat. "It's ... Chann Tahh Ehl."

"Taahhhh...Ehhhhl." The clerk put his quill down, smirking ever so slightly. Chann Tahh Ehl just looked back at him sternly.

"Don't give me that attitude. That's why I'm here to change my name, after all."

"What attitude?" the clerk said, insincerely. "It just seems a little excessive. Even for the mythical continent of Symetria, which as you know, we are both situated in."

"My choice of name wasn't up to me," Chann Tahh Ehl snapped. "A curse from the gods. Just get on with it. I expected better from Imperials.

And I know where I am, you foolish son of a horse."

"I didn't mean to offend, sir," the clerk replied sarcastically. "I know how it can be. My sister's name has six Ys and a diaeresis."

Chann Tahh Ehl sighed. "Look, I only want to shorten my name to 'chann'. Take the last few letters off, please. And I'd like it in lower case if I could."

"Indeed, indeed." The clerk doodled on his papyrus and thought for a moment. "I should inform you that, by Imperial law, I am required to add at least two meaningless apostrophes to your name. Would you like them distributed evenly or stacked up at the end?"

Big mistake. Chann Tahh Ehl glared at the civil servant with an expression that told of a lifetime of humiliation. He clenched his fists and the clerk feared for his safety -- an auspicious thought, because the man with the slightly girly and ridiculous name soon had the bureaucrat by the scruff of the neck.

"LISTEN TO ME! I have endured many, MANY sun-cycles of torment due to my unfortunate nominal circumstances. Change my name, and change it THIS MOMENT, or by the beard of Great Qadu himself I will drag you to the Arena and personally throw you to the ravenous Sandbeasts. DO YOU HEAR ME?!? IT IS GOOD ENOUGH."
The clerk almost choked. "Put me down! Put me down! I won't make any more of it. But, I just need to know one more thing."
"WHAT?!"
"Sun-cycles? Are you kidding?"

(Granted.)

This is my story and I'm sticking to it:

Part 1:

One night in late October, I was speeding along in my El Camino (named Puff Daddy, because of it's lack of muffler) down a main strip in Memphis, TN.

If you have ever been to Memphis, you will understand when I say that it's the city where dreams go to die. You don't walk around the streets at night, you don't carry valuables, you don't wear anything that could possibly be miscontrued as flashin' them gang colors. You probably live next to a meth lab. You BETTER remember to lock your car when you go inside Walmart to buy diapers. To make it in this city, you have to whip your hair back and forth, keep the party jumping in the disco inferno, and be a jerk with your pretty boy swag. In that order, OR ELSE.

Needless to say, the dear Memphis police force have quite a job keeping the stripe-clad crooks from robbing little old ladies and the Hamburgaler from hamburgaling. Because I am a very bad citizen, I going about six MPH over the speed limit, and was pulled over.

I'd never gotten pulled over before. Fidgeting in my seat and nearly wetting myself in fear/anticipation, I waited for the police officer to approach my car. This is a good time to mention that I was wearing a ski mask, a black sweater, black pants, and a pair of (now rather sweaty) black Doc Martens. I wasn't out robbing banks, no, I was on my way to a murder mystery costume party and I was cast as "the criminal." I even had a toy gun that looked like the real thing!

When the police officer approached my car and saw me sitting there in my inciminating outfit, he pulled out his taser and shouted at me "GET OUT OF THE CAR! GET OUT OF THE CAR AND ON THE GROUND!" Well....I got out of the car. And on the ground. At this point, I'm mewling and blubbering on the cold asphalt on the side of the very busy road with a taser pointed at me, dressed as a dangerous criminal and remembering suddenly that I really needed to pee.

Officer McOfficer cuffed me and read me my Miranda's, and with all his gentlemanly tact and discression, drove me downtown. Now I'm sitting in the waiting cell, snuffling and needing to pee, awaiting someone ANYONE to come back for me so I could explain that this had all been a horrible misunderstanding.




Part 2:

Eventually, Officer McOfficer returned and escorted me to a small room with a single light. He asked me if I had ever previously been convicted of a crime. Not recalling anything, I replied no. His face looked sinister under the yellow lamplight, and I was sure I was going to faint. Suddenly, he flipped over the table and waved a file in my face. "YOU, MAGGOT, WERE CONVICTED 12 YEARS AGO FOR DEFACING PUBLIC PROPERTY!" He spat when he spoke. He waved a 12x12 color glossy picture in my contorted and tear streamed face, apparently to prove his point.

The picture was of a pink unicorn I had spray painted on the side of an old abandonded railroad car when I was 13. A copper had spotted my handy work because, well, I had signed it. I was given a good talking to by Sergent Sergent and my mother had grounded me for two months.

Shortly after having the evidence thrust in my face with enough vivaciousness to make a pro-wrestler weep, I peed my pants and fainted. When I awoke, my friends from the fancy dress party were clustered around me in the hospital. When I didn't show up, they thought perhaps I had been eaten by a giant spider. After debating this theory for several hours over punch and snacks, they checked the police station. They then explained to the police force that I was, infact, not a criminal at all and should be released at once.

The police force had no idea what they were talking about. "What man brought in? We haven't hauled anyone in all night." Bemused, the police officers and my costumed friends searched up and down the station like a scene out of Scooby Doo. They found the door to the interrogations room locked, and a sick cackling coming from within.

With their brute strength, the police knocked down the door. I was unconcious, tied naked but for a sock covering my twigs-n-berries to a chair and Officer Officer was dancing around it screaming about Reagan-omics


An artist's rendition of the event.




Realizing who the two criminal was, the police tackled and detained "Officer Officer". I was sent to the hospital to recooperate my lost body fluids.

To this day, the words "pink graffiti" fill me with fear so great that I can't control my bladder. I think this is a good reason to allow my user name to be changed to Fancy Pants.

I see you there, unregistered guest! You and I are the only ones online in the forum. Why would you flag me as unhelpful and you disagree? It's an amusing-ish story, centered around the theme of name change. I even drew a picture! If you don't like it, you can just go and...recieve a lovely boquet of flowers to improve your day, because I wouldn't wish ill on you. But fo-realz, what more do you want? At least I READ the directions. It must be because you're a Reagan fan.

(Picture is in post 205 of the thread. Name was changed.)

Ladyengland sounds too big,
And I've lost a lot of weight.
Now my bum is small and pert,
This name I've come to hate.

I've eaten tons of fruit and veg
And low cal this and that.
Okay, so I've been miserable
But at least I'm now not fat!

I've jumped and jogged and skipped and hopped
And denied myself white bread.
Now I'm slim I'd like my name
To be changed before I'm dead!

I guess I'll put it all back on,
That really is a given,
(Yes I know you think that, too,
but you will be forgiven).

If you change my name for me
I'll have the best incentive
To keep my flaccid bum at bay,
It will be preventive.

If you don't I'll sink into
A deep, dark black depression.
Please help me stop my flab issues
From becoming an obession.

I'm not saying it's your fault
If I become obese,
But do you want to take that chance
When you could be at peace?

As big as England I used to be
But not any more I vow.
LadyAngel sounds much better
So I'd like that name now.


(Granted)

I would like to request a username change.
Here is my story: Once upon a time, there was a stupid, naive 11 year old girl. She had just gotten the Sims 2 and expansions for her birthday, including her favorite, University. One day, she figured out how to make her sim into a zombie, and called up all of her friends bragging about it, though no one really cared, she just wouldn't shut up. She was unaware, however, that one of her friends had a paranoid father who was listening to their phone call. The girl was speaking of the sim version of her real family, and when she said, "My brother just turned into a zombie, too, the man assumed she was speaking of her actual family. He also happened to be a social worker. She was then shipped off to a foster family across the country, when her family was gone to work and friends' houses, when the authorities assumed they were off feeding on brains.
At her new home, she gained a fat, ugly dog. Convinced that the Sims were the reason for her sorrow, she burnt the game in the barbecue pit and feed the ashes to her new pet. It ate the Sims-infected kibble with great gusto. A couple of hours later when walking the dog, the owners where shocked to find it's feces where in the shape of a plumbob. The wife absolutely loved it, for she waited until the dook dried out, and kept it in a display case in her home. It is still there to this very day.
Real reason: When I joined this community, I was a naive little girl obsessed with Soulja Boy and youtube videos of Crank Dat impersonators. Now that I am getting more involved in this community, I would like my name changed to acid_paradox for it is the name of my band and holds a lot of sentimental significance to me. I've changed a lot over the years, what can I say?
Edit: Thanks for changing it!

(Granted)

Bubblesbutterflies was a gentle, kind, and somewhat dimwitted young soul. She marveled at all of the pretty creations of her peers on all sorts of venues. Of course, being so young and dimwitted, she was unable to create any of this on her own. Netherless, she faithfully worshiped the stuff she found, from art to Sims to poetry to songs.

One day, Bubblesbutterflies was strolling through the woods of time. She suddenly spotted a creature. Blinded by innocence, she ran up to the beast screeching, "Puppppppyyyy!". She then proceeded to wrap the "puppy" into a very large bear hug. Of course, what she found was no puppy. It was a werewolf named Maturity. Maturity bit Bubblebutterflies as hard as it could- it was repulsed by the frightening innocence of the child. "One day, child, you shall be like me," the creature said before venturing off.

The venom from Maturity's bite began to set in. For one, the youth and innocence she possessed began to age into rebellion and individuality. Bubblesbutterflies began to evolve into an image of a werewolf- wild, natural, an outcast, mystical- she was no longer the innocent child of time ago. This new wolf shed her childhood like a snake shedding skin. "But...who am I now?" the creature asked herself. Looking into herself, she found that she had the marks of a poet- a curious mind, a familiar uniqueness, a tendency to rhyme at any given time...yes...."I shall be called WerewolfPoet" the wolf decided. And so it was. WerewolfPoet developed a pleasant reputation throughout the lands as she learned to to write, draw, and create the things she once marveled at.

However, the wolf was plagued by nightmares. In her dreams, she would hear the screech of her childhood name... "Bubblesbutterflies....Bubblesbutterflies..." This was most concerning, for the fear caused by this made WerewolfPoet snack on Cheetos a bit too often. She HATES Cheetos. All she wants is to rid herself of this curse-- no, not lycanthropy, but of her childhood self. She carries the memory of her innocence like a mime carrying a megaphone or a vegetarian driving a meat truck. This innocence causes WerewolfPoet to howl in frustration-- these howls keeping waking up the neighbors, who have threatened to call the cops more than once.

So she set out to legally change her name before the neighbors call the police and before her arteries become clogged with that God-awful cheese-worms they pass off as food. Shaking with anticipation, she submits an envelope entitled "Name-Change Request". Inside is a note with the details of her problems and a humble request:

"...so, please, if it's not too much to ask, may you kind souls finally remove the scars of my childhood and allow me to be formally known as WerewolfPoet ?"

...and, yes, that was my honest attempt for at least half-way humor.


(Granted)