I recently realized I'm growing up.

I broke up with another guy who I hadn't heard from in a while. But seeing he was a pushy, sexist, lustful douchebag, I dumped him. Besides, Saturday is the only time I have a chance to watch metal concerts, so I rather be with Axl and Alice than a guy who was a lousy typist that is a creep. However, that means I've broken up with two men in one week.

I aIso found my advanced directive and will, which was one of the most somber times in my life since my adolescent depression phase where I was flirting with disaster listening to suicidal songs. This instruction set was written during the time of Jahi McMath's incident and the doctors kept asking if I had instructions written in the "if all else fails" scenario. I not only had said to let me die, but provided funereal instructions and instructions on eradication or liquidation of my assets. I made Eeyore seem like a suicide hotline operator, that was the chilling effect's comparison.

First paragraph makes sense. Good for you, good decision to dump those idiots.

But second paragraph.... whut? A thing was a time?

I am not sure I understand where this thread is going... I guess you want to talk about last wills? I don't have one, I am 22 and just the idea creeps me out. Also because I don't own enough valuable things / money for this to be a problem if I die.

I'm 22 and sometimes I still don't feel like a grown up, and that's not just because I'm living with my Nan (person who raised me) because I felt the same when my partner and I were living independently.
But I very rarely feel genuinely immature. Sometimes I feel childish and silly but only when I can afford to, which luckily for me is most of the time, because I don't think I could handle acting "grown up" all the time.

But I think the true meaning of maturity is knowing when it's ok to be immature.
The older people in my family often comment on how "childish" I am because I play with toys, enjoy cartoons (not just those aimed at adults like American Dad) and play computer games aimed at children. But in a crisis, I'm the rock. I'm the one talking to the paramedics, I'm the one explaining the incident in detail, I'm the one trying to get important information out of the often drunk victim. I'm the one the social services talk to about my nephew, I'm the one who has never missed a bill payment, I'm the one who never has to borrow money because I know how to budget properly and still have all the frivolous things I want.
People who don't know me have always been telling me how mature I am. Because for all my childishness, I know when it's ok to be childish, and I know when I need to get serious.

Too many people think being a grown up means they can't have fun any more, or that their fun has to be "adult" themed, like drinking or something hyper sexualised, but no one has to lose their childhood loves just to become an adult, you just have to add some new ones and learn to prioritise!

At the moment, living at my Nan's house means I have very little responsibility (I've tried to help out but my Nan is one of those people who likes to do everything herself, it's her way of keeping active in old age, I guess) so right now I'm more child than adult but when the time comes I know I'm not going to strugle being an adult again because it just comes naturally.

If it doesn't come naturally then you're just not a true adult yet. And I don't think age has any baring on adulthood, my mother just turned 40 and she still acts like a 14 year old, especially in serious situations.


I took it as a thread to talk about being a "grown up". Boy how great or how crappy it can be. That involves both bills and wills :P

I don't really feel like a grown-up, except when I'm talking to my best friend. Me and my boyfriend have lived together for a year now (we're 19 and 20), and we do one day plan on having children - preferably by the time we're 25 and 26 years old, especially because I worry I'll have a lot of complications, as well as that my lungs aren't good so when I'm older (say 35 or so) I worry I wont be able to run around with my kids but when I told my friend this, her response was the "But when will you have time to go out and enjoy your life when you're married and have children?" but like... I don't go out drinking or getting high, my idea of fun is more spending time with my boyfriend, playing with my younger siblings (especially the 3 year old who says cute things such as that the moon is the skys bellybutton) and playing computer games from time to time. She often wonders how I'm still with my boyfriend, because "don't you get bored?" and "How will you love him when he get's old and fat?" and that makes me feel like we're on completely different worlds in terms of maturity.

But at the same time, I don't really know how to pay bills (my boyfriends does all that stuff - though I am good at budgeting and keeping track of money) and I'm really shy so usually if I want to go to the shop I have to have my boyfriend accompany me, otherwise I get scared. I also really enjoy playing video games and watching cartoons (Adventure time & Regular show) and my house is practically full of plushies and stuff. Oh and I'm super scared of turning 20. THough that's mainly because when my parents were 20 - they were married with a kid, and one on the way (me), and that makes me think about how immature I am in comparison, but at the same time - if I actually did have a kid, and I was married and whatever, I would easily rise to the challenge, like, right now my house is a mess, but if I had a kid I'd put in more effort to make sure my house didn't have like xbox controllers and clothes and stuff on the floor.

Other than that, I don't really understand what this thread is about...

I took this thread as a place to discuss and share our experiences in life that make us realize we're not little anymore. I don't really understand the confusion.

I got my first job last week, which was weird. Other than that I'm pretty much an almost-19-year-old preteen. *goes back to lurking*

About the second paragraph...I find mortality disturbing to think about at 26.

As for my rotten luck in love, I rather be straightforward in my intentions and say to them, "I want you...and you...and you...etc., and such." Not kidding, monogamous relationships are not my thing, so in The Sims 3, I have "Commitment Issues" as my bad trait.

Omg. You have no idea how weird this is - Reading that was like reading something I'd written about myself and just forgotten about. The only difference is my partner and I are the same age rather than a year apart and I actually know what to do with bills, but when I was 19 like you I had no idea - It's all trial and error but it becomes second nature (as hard as that is to believe).


As morbid as it sounds, I love thinking about that kind of stuff.
If I had the money to waste, I'd get a head start on planning and paying for my own funeral.

I always think "who will get what when I die?" my partners brother is allowed to go through any of my old console games and keep whatever he wants, my partner obviously gets all my old consoles and my PC, and my clothes will go in order of - my nan gets to pick first, then my auntie next because we're close in size and like the same stuff, and my mum and sister can go through what's left, because they're both half my size and will probably just sell it. Any trinkets I have will go back to the person I got them from, to let them know i'd held onto it, unless i'm not in contact with them anymore, in which case my partner can decide if he wants to keep it (which he probably wont because he hates clutter) or give it to someone close to me as a keepsake.

But at the moment I don't own anything of real value, my money isn't my own so I can't give that away, I don't have a house or a car... The only thing I know I want is for my partner to keep some of my toys and go on and find someone else and when he has kids, give my toys to his kids. I also know that I want to be cremated and kept in an urn forever, as a family heirloom. I don't want my ashes spread anywhere, or buried anywhere, I want to be kept.


... I know... people tell me that's weird.

Funny you'd say that, a lot of the things you write in the Vent thread and various other threads I can totally relate to
My problem with bills is that no-ones ever taught me, and my boyfriend just sorta.. did it for me, so I didn't really have any reason to learn, though the Scottish Power bill is always addressed to me for some reason.

Yay! Brain-wave twins, obviously

My partner kind of feels like you, I think, because I just took over when it came to bills, but I've always been really organised (well, my room is always messy but important stuff is filed and accounted for, I always know where it find the information I need) where as my partner get really anxious about it. I feel guilty because I want him to feel comfortable with bills in case something ever happens to me but at the same time it's easier to just do it and get it out of the way, sorta out of sight, out of mind. I always told him what we were paying and explained to him in detail why we were paying something and when and all that, and answered his questions, but I never leave it to him. It's kind of cliche , he makes the money, I spend it (on bills).

But when we first moved out (at 19, like you :P) I had no idea because like you, no one ever took the time to explain, even when they knew we were moving no one took us aside and said "look, here's what you gotta do..." It almost felt like they purposely didn't help because they wanted to see how long it would be before we messed up... But that might just be me, being paranoid lol. Really, they should teach this stuff in schools.

But I live back at my childhood home now, and while we still have a couple of bills like we have to pay my Nans rent because my partner works, it's a nice break. I'm kinda dreading getting back into the swing of full bills when we get our own place again. (we didn't have any financial trouble or anything at our flat, we lived alone for about a year and a half but then my partner's dad got sick, and he had a spare room and we offered to move in with him to look after him and help with my partner's brother, and he agreed, but as soon as we'd gotten everything finalised and contracts were broken and fines were paid, he decided he didn't want us there any more, so we had to move back to my Nans... Luckily she still had a spare room.)

I tried to make it work with the first, but the second was enough to take my time and reflect my current situation. My dad is grieving my grandmother, and my mom revealed he was his mother's favorite in that he, even though was a problem child, he was spoiled rotten.

*2 cent*

22 year old, and holy shit you guys. I'm an adult. I'm an honest to god adult. Aaand I don't feel ready at all. For one literally all my female friends my age are in various forms of relationships. It seems like it's ok for a guy in his 20's to be single, but a girl?! Pound the fucking alarm, you freak.
I'm at a point now where I'm only really happy if I'm drunk (which I am right now, in case the rambling hadn't clued you in) That's some teenage shit right there. Adulthood can go fuck itself right in the face.

Over and out, darling.

My school didn't teach me anything about bills, they didn't even teach us how to apply for college... however they did teach us to sign up for JobSeekers. I mean, I get that we're in quite a bad area that has a lot of unemployment, but I'm almost 20 and I still haven't signed up for Job seekers allowance so teaching me that instead of how to apply for college/University was pretty pointless. Though they did also talk us through what interests to put on a CV, so I guess it was okay. My boyfriend has attempted to explain bills to me, just in case we ever break up or something happens to him - but he doesn't really explain further than "look at this number on this meter, go on this website and write the number out" which doesn't really explain that much...

Talking to my friend about kids today, and I mentioned I plan on trying when I'm 23 or so. I finish uni at 21 so I imagine I will be settled down in a house by then and such, but my friend was like "no wait until you're in your 30s. Don't waste your life away having a child when you're young because my Mum had to go to college later in life because I was born", but like... I have nothing else I want to do in my 20s. I want to go to Medical School, but that's more of a plan when my children are older. I really want to be a stay at home mother, and in my 30s I'm going to be very tired, especially because I have bad lungs - I won't be able to run around with my kid and play with them as much, as well as that I worry I can't have children because I've had chicken pox twice and shingles - which decreases your chances apparently, so being older I imagine that would decrease my chances even more. Besides, it's not like I'm her Mum who had a child at 16 - I did go to college, and by the time I'm 23 I would've finished university with a BSc. It's not like my kids would ruin my future - because really if you ever ask me "What do you want to do as a job?" my first answer will always be a stay at home mother to my children. I don't care that much about becoming a Psychologist or a Doctor or whatever, of course if times are tough or I'm a single parent I should probably work, but my future children have always been like a big priority for me.

Not that my friend isn't like cool, I'm not trying to bitch and moan like "waa my friend said this and now I'm angry". I'm just saying, like, just because she wants to have children in her 30s because in her 20s she wants to go out drinking, doesn't mean that's the life I should have too. I don't drink, in fact I'm barely a student at all. I don't go out with my uni friends to the pub, I don't drink, I've gone to 1 house party since coming to uni. I don't bother with societies anymore because their idea of societies is "lets go get drunk" and I just don't want to. If anything, if it wasn't frowned upon in this day and age to have children at 19, and it was normal like back when our parents were younger, I would probably be planning a marriage/child by now. The only reason I'm not is that I'm going to University to learn shit first. I don't care about partying and drinking and whatever else people do at 20.