Lately, I should confess.

Since my grandma died, my father, as she was his mother...has not handled it very well.

First came the drinking, then the detox and escape from detox, the divorce demand without definition, deregulation, detoxing by self, demoted to a firing, day-job instatement after a month's demotion and today, he was a douchebag.

It started innocently enough with me fawning over Slash from Guns N' Roses, seeing I like guys with interesting backgrounds (African-American mother, White English father) as I myself am French-German-UK-Catholic from my dad and Russian-Portuguese-Hungarian-Greek-Polish-Jewish from my mom and when I said he has citizenship with the United States and the United Kingdom, that was when he flipped, and he let loose obscenities and rants of all kinds along the lines of "A Christmas Story" over the British. This was, as put on "The Big Bang Theory", bat-crap crazy.

Now, that was when I had enough and felt like breaking down into tears. I share British heritage with my father, who acted like some jerk who hated himself. I hate my father when he's not his jovial self.

I can't understand why my father has been hair-trigger sensitive. I thought he was taking his medicine.

I'm 27 and he turned 50 this past June. I take after my dad, sadly and when my mom noticed my bipolar, it was well after my episodes were tamed with medicine and he was going crazy. My mother, 52, then understood the gravity of the situation that I'm a "daddy's girl" in terms of genetic makeup.

Like when a white female cat mates with a black male cat and there are a bunch of white male and female kittens taking after mom and a black female kitten who has the demeanor of the father.

I had one hell of a year. Headaches of all kinds.

To those of you who still live at home or have been in this situation, how do or did you handle these periods of difficulty?

Ugh, what an awful situation, and it's terrible that you're subjected to that kind of home life. I'm also still living at home, and sometimes things get incredibly dramatic for no real reason. People tend to let things simmer and bubble until it boils over at the smallest thing and it becomes war. I get in wars with my dad over not waking up on time, with on time being 5:30AM LATEST, over dishes, over not walking the dogs, over my younger siblings not doing well in school, basically anything that's annoying at the moment I get called out on. It doesn't help that I have a cousin living with us that's basically the most disgusting, sexist, homophobic, racist human being this side of Hitler himself that stirs up problems and makes sure that my ten year old brother is constantly in trouble and that I'm angry about something at all times.
Honestly, I let the people I'm not on good terms with be by themselves for a while, so that when we see each other again there's more clarity and a chance for us to reconcile over what was said. I go through this every few days with my cousin so I've become really effective at this kind of thing. It's been going on for /months/.

My mother was/still kind of is a drug addict. Crack, X, and sadly, right now, gravol. She constantly took our food money and spent it on drugs, growing drugs, herself. I grew up not eating, not sleeping for fear of someone breaking in. I was fifteen and had a gun in my face because of her carelessness. I was seventeen and had one of her "boyfriends" come into my room and try to shove money in my pants. I could go on and on, unfortunately, and none of it gets any better.

MY solution was leaving. I left as soon as I was able to. I dropped out of school, went on a terrible drunk for a good two or three years. Shook myself out of it, realising f I wasn't careful, I'd end up just like her. Genetics wise, I have extreme anxiety like she does, but now I'm not sure if hers is a result of brain damage, and mine is a result of a shitty environment (which is most likely).

Now things are semi better. She loves Eve to distraction, which is nice. At first, she honestly did not care. Then she met her and of course it changed (no - don't go have kids to fix anything haha, it wasn't on purpose). We barely see each other, which is great, because we have serious personality clashes. She's child like and has tantrums, I'm considered too serious in her books haha. She thinks I'm a goody two shoes.

Well, leaving is not an option for a number of reasons.

1.) Due to the circumstances as an adult with work experience unable to hold a job due to my weak stamina and health from years of heavy drugging from my parents trying to find medicine to tame my out-of-control behaviors based on the flawed brain issues, I can't leave on the grounds of money (Don't say to live in government housing, it's shitty and dangerous like tainted groundwater. I can't afford to risk my life.)
2.) I have been moved around to different locals roughly every 4 years, never establishing any basis to have a crowd to hang with and due to my social issues as being shy based of years of abuse and harassment from people who weren't mom, dad, aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents, (that leaves my older half-sister, students and faculty and complete strangers as my abusers) so I'm very hesitant to try to socialize to get a room with anyone.
3.) My SSI (Social Supplemental Income) is very meager, $721 is all I get from the government. Even if I found a cheap enough apartment on the good side of town, living there requires I give up my entire paycheck to pay only the rent and do without essentials, supplies, utilities and something to keep busy with as my mother suggests having busywork to hone my skills. Food would have to be monitored carefully and bought $36.10 worth every 10 days. So, not much living going on, but certainly security.
4.) As my brain cannot focus for long periods, I get distracted and thus, driving is out of the question. I can, however, take the bus as it is cheaper than a tank of gas (Due to my medical status, I pay half the adult fare (Total: $1 per ride) and if you ring it up, I pay under $15\week compared to $50\week to fill a gas tank)

So, as you can guess, I'm bound by the circumstances beyond the relative control I have.

Been there, done that. I had very few flesh-and-blood friends than I did in my imaginary friends circle.

I used to wear a shirt that "I live in my own little world...but it's okay, they know me here" as a obvious cry for help to those who misconstrued my comfort in imaginary friends.

Still...this was when I was dealing with normal dysfunctions in life like my family dealing with their jobs and I was essentially a latch-key kid without the dysfunctions associated with them...

...Although I used to do shots of soy sauce from the Chinese restaurant soy sauce packets.

Yeah, I'm an adult child living with parents. I'm 24. I have a temp job now that finally pays well enough to move out, but will only last two months. I'm waiting for something permanent. That's what I tell everyone, but really, I don't have any friends (my one friend will be moving away soon) and I'd be desperately lonely without someone else in the house and I know I'd spiral into depression because of loneliness. My parents spoil me a lot, too, which has caused co-dependence. It's just comfy living here at home. I don't pay much towards the finances ($80/month), I just help out when random stuff pops up (a car breaks down and needs to go to shop, unexpected hospital bills, etc.) But those are really rare.

I have a really strong relationship with my mom, and a decently good one with my dad, and they've never made me feel bad for still living with them (I'm an only child, so that also plays into it, I'm sure).

Bumps have come along in the road. My mom battled alcoholism and while I had known it was an issue, it was just something I had put up with, thinking it was normal. Problems with it came up in my early 20s (20-21). Nights of sleep got interrupted as I'd have to help my mom get around the house. It was hard seeing my mom like that. The worst came when I first got sick, my mom caught what I had, and then got hit again with a rare strain of pneumonia. She became delirious, weak, and hostile (due to the deliriousness). It was a very scary moment in my life, and also the hardest moment in my life. I helped my dad out as best I could and he most likely appreciated having someone else there that was old enough to confide in and to help out with the situation. It was a very stressful time in my life (and his, too).

My mom remembered who people were, like me and dad, but refused to go to the hospital, thinking she was good. She was not okay at all and it was one of the hardest, worst things I've ever had to see in my life. Half a week later we called an ambulance (despite the high cost), but they couldn't take her because she refused, but could tell she needed immediate attention (apparently they can't force a ride if the person says no, sane or not). My mom is a large woman, so my dad and I couldn't lift her to take her ourselves despite the fact that she had stopped eating (at this point, she was like dead weight). Two days later, we finally tricked her into going to the "immediate care center," when in fact we were just going to take her to the ER. It took about an hour to an hour and a half (maybe even two) to get her from the bed to the car, as she was very delirious, weak, and also fighting us the entire way (ugh, it was very hard).

My dad took her so I didn't have to continue seeing her in her state (I had watched her through the days while he worked). I just worked on cleaning.

From what I heard, she was not happy to find herself at the hospital and fought the guys that helped bring her in (apparently at that hospital they have some emergency medical personnel that help in situations like this, where they'll help you get inside if the person is too weak, passed out, etc.)

She hated the hospital, but got much better. The CDC even got involved, wanting to know places she had been when it first started, because apparently there were only two cases of this pneumonia strain reported in the state (I think it was state, not the whole country). But APPARENTLY, what made it 100x worse was because she was a heavy drinker. She had suffered a lot of nerve damage around her knees area due to the alcohol over the years, which was why she couldn't walk or stand. Despite the pneumonia being what landed her in the hospital, her doctor could tell she was a heavy alcoholic and told her she needed to stop drinking or the nerve damage would just get worse. She had an intervention right there in the hospital for her drinking and she swore off all alcohol.

My mom got better and indeed swore off all alcohol. The idea that it had been that big of a problem really frightened her. She is SO MUCH better now and she doesn't have any of the problems she used to. The event did leave her a bit unsteady (the nerve damage wasn't full and she can walk, but she has problems with stairs now). Apparently my great-uncle had the same issue with alcohol, although he had never stopped drinking and it got a lot worse.

I didn't realize my mom was a serious alcoholic until all of that surfaced at the hospital. I guess when you live with it it is just considered "normal" to you, and not a problem when in fact it really is. Didn't help that my mom didn't have the typically displayed (in media, at least) mood swings or anger that comes along with it.

I was a college student at the time and lived at home, but if I lived on campus or outside the home, I probably would not have witnessed all that. I'm glad I got to help, but it was hard seeing her like that.

That was the biggest bump in the road, but other things have happened, too. Arguments between me and my dad due to not living up to his standard and me 'wasting my time away.' I had the cops called on me once that resolved pretty quickly (but parents, WHY?). Had to deal with judgmental extended family (that do love me in the end). Etc.

It's not always easy, but I prefer it over what I would assume would happen if I moved out. I'd be terribly lonely and then get depressed (and I've had depression before during college - I would like to NOT revisit that). My parents and I get along most of the time really and I love my dad's side of the family (even if they can be harsh critics). I've thought about finding a roommate online due to me not knowing people, but even that seems like it wouldn't be a good idea as I'd feel constantly judged by the other person. So for the time being, I'm looking for permanent work (well, not now, but will soon) while working at my seasonal job.

@Nymphetamine, that sounds like a rough life to me! I've had it pretty easy. The worst were some of my dad's old friends (which he had thankfully severed connections with years ago). Gotta love the "friend" that interrupts the family dinner (barged in through the front door and all) because my dad wouldn't buy his drugs. No gun, but it was a weird event to witness as a kid. To my knowledge, my parents didn't do hard drugs, just marijuana. My dad cut off all those connections and has focused all of his time/energy on his family. But that wasn't as an adult child. But I'm sure if my environment weren't nurturing and friendly (and safe!), I'd be out the door, too. Sort of feeds into my co-dependence though, really.

Sometimes I feel shame for still living at home, but not enough to move out.

Edited to add, because I didn't answer the main question: I'm lucky to have a supportive family. When issues come up, we all talk about it and come to what we feel is the best conclusion. Or we just talk it out period. Since I am an adult living at home, they know I have money to help out when needed, which is no problem, and they don't hide things from me. I don't really consult in anyone else, but other options may include talking it out with a good friend/relative and getting their advice (I give advice in situations like these, too). You want to find someone who knows you really well if it's a personal problem, or someone who can relate to the problem (like in your situation, perhaps extended family that you are close to that knows your parent really well, maybe? Depends on the severity of it, though). Difficult times are going to come up whether you still live at home with the parents or not, so try to remember that, too. And, as can be seen from the posts, everyone has a different life story (my advice probably wouldn't work for Nymphetamine, for example, as her family is completely different from mine, and her advice may not work best for you). Do what you think is best. I hope you can find someone to talk to about all of this and I hope it gets better for you, soon! Resolving issues takes work, though, and sometimes it does take stepping out of your comfort zone to change things for the better. I'm terrible about this as I do love the comfort of home, but I wanted to get that out there as well, because sometimes changing has to be done aggressively. It's something I do not do well. I'm a very safe person. Haha