Replies: 2 (Who?), Viewed: 1621 times.
Test Subject
Original Poster
#1 Old 23rd Mar 2015 at 5:02 AM
Default How hard would it be to make a new life?
Hi,so I decided to write a new story It`s my first ever post on the forum,soooo Hope y`all enjoy!
(Sorry for any spelling mistakes.)





Chapter IManner Mansion





Demi Manner was sitting with her husband at the table from the dining room.Their 2 daughters were spending their time playing,or meditating.
Demi broke the silence.




"I don`t think it was a good idea moving here."
"Why not?"asked Zack,the husband.



"I mean,the house is gorgeous and the area is so quiet and peaceful.The neighbors are so nice."
"Oh,you`ve met Sebastian Serrah?He is really nice..."
"Stop changing the subject!You already know why?"
"Because Isabella`s mood swing?!Oh my god.She`ll move forward.You`ll see."



"I hope so" she looked worried."We kind off left her friendless"
"What about Lilly?"
"Oh.Lilly.She just aged up into a child.I don`t think she cares much."
Zack gazed into her eyes.He knew she was hiding something.



Looking worried,he said:
"You wanted to tell me something else.I can see it in your eyes.Did somehing bad happened?"
She looked back to him.



"Well,no,if you`re OK with the idea of having one more child."
"WHAT?!"



"Don`t you know?"
*************************************


In her room,Isabella was thinking.Her parents always said that she was too introvertite,too shy.She didn`t care.She wasn`t "meditating".She was just yhinking of what they did to her.She had lot of friends back in Pleasantview,including her BFF Lillith.She couldn`t communicate with her because Lillith was mad on her leaving.Also,her boyfriend Lukas kind of hated her because of this.



Inside her room,little Lilly was playing with her toy boat.She was wondering why was everyone so hectic.Her bigger sister was constantly fighting with her parents because of their moving.





*************************************

While Demi and Zack where talking about the new member,Isabella felt the need to go to the bathroom,until she heard their conversation.
"Are you sure?"
"Very sure.My abdomen is growing,and I eat more everyday.I`m sure."
"Ok,then we should decorate the room upstairs!"
Isabella couldn`t believe.When Lilly was born,her parents abandoned her.They weren`t showing her so much love,and she didn`t want to happen something similar to her little sister.



After her dad left the room,she went to talk to her mother.
"Mom,can I talk to you?"
"Sure,sweetie!What`s up?"
Isabella hated when her parents called her a "sweetie".



"I know what you and dad talked in the dining room.I know you are pregnant."
"You do?Well,doesn`t matter.Aren`t you happy?"she said.



"Do you think I`m happy?!You`re going to abandon Lilly as you did to me!You disgust me!Just go!"





Demi,looking sad,left the room and left angry Isabella in the living room,alone.
Isabella went to the back yard,trying to calm herself down on the swing.





TO BE CONTINUED...
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Field Researcher
#2 Old 24th Mar 2015 at 8:33 PM
Interesting start. But I suggest you be more careful about ponctuation. For example: «"Why not?"asked Zack,the husband.» should be ponctuated like this: «"Why not? - asked Zack, the husband.» Spaces between commas or full stops and the next word are important visually.
Test Subject
Original Poster
#3 Old 25th Mar 2015 at 8:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PanAm103
Interesting start. But I suggest you be more careful about ponctuation. For example: «"Why not?"asked Zack,the husband.» should be ponctuated like this: «"Why not? - asked Zack, the husband.» Spaces between commas or full stops and the next word are important visually.



Sorry XD In my country we do it as in the text.Thanks for pointing out though,I`ll be careful next time.
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