ch.7 continued
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Then the big day finally came. I’d gotten maternity leave from work, and was home watching TV when the water broke.

I called Ian, who was still at work. ”The baby… is coming! Get home… now!” I was a bit panicky, because it hurt so much, and even after all those breathing excersises I’d practised, I couldn’t remember a single one. Ian drove home as fast as he could, grabbed the bag with my things that stood beside the door, and helped me into the car. I think we broke a couple of speed limits on our way to the hospital, but we got there in time.

I had a hard time getting birth to the baby, so after four hours when the doctor announced: “It’s a girl!” I was completely exhausted.

But when I got the little wailing baby into my hands, and she looked into my eyes and suddenly stopped crying, I knew it was worth it, and the exhaustion was completely forgotten.

Ian sat down next to me, and the rest of the day, all we did was admire our little wonder. She was really beautiful, and had red hair and green eyes like me. Ian finished the decorating of her room, and three days after her birth, we could finally take her home.

We decided to call her Angela, because in our eyes, she looked like a little angel, and she surely acted like one. She cried little, and all she did was eat and sleep.

Friends and family visited us a lot the first weeks. It was a wonder Angela got any sleep at all with all the people that wanted to hold her, feed her and play with her. Especially my mother was really thrilled when she met her little granddaughter the first time. My sister, now a teenager, played peek-a-boo with Angela until she fell asleep (my sister really did look a lot like me – it seemed like almost all the girls and also a lot of boys in dad’s family-line got red hair, and Angela was no exception).

Angela grew fast, and at the time she was almost one year old, I was already pregnant with number two. Since Angela’s room was quite big, we put in another bed, and redecorated the other corner for the next baby, since having them in the same room seemed practical. This time, we knew we were going to have a boy. Angela was really excited and yelled “bibi-bother” all the time.

Angela learned to walk when she was ten months, and was running around in the house causing trouble when I, in the middle of running after her – which was not easy because of my big belly – all of a sudden, felt the water breaking again, and the contractions felt almost worse than the last time.

Luckily Ian was at home, since it was Saturday. He scooped up Angela – who was in the middle of throwing the tv-remote control and my favourite book in the toilet – grabbed my bag, and supported me to the car. We drove to the hospital with a really annoyed Angela in the back seat (she didn’t like it when she was stopped in the middle of having fun running around and throwing things in the toilet – her favourite hobby at the time).

This time the birthing went faster, and after just an hour, a healthy and beautiful little boy saw the world for the first time in his life.

He had blonde hair, probably from my mother – she had blonde hair before she coloured it brown – and blue eyes just like Ian. We decided to name him Brian.

We learned fast that having a baby and a toddler in the house was a whole lot more difficult and tiring than just having Angela.

Brian cried a lot more than Angela had, and with Angela messing around, ripping down flowerpots and having tantrums, we were really exhausted at the end of every day. After a year, when Brian also had taken his first steps, we quickly learned that having two toddlers were even harder.

But no matter the mess they were causing, and no matter how many tantrums a day (and there were a lot of them), we loved them more than anything else in the world.

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puh, that was a lot... but the story isn't finished yet, although I think I'm halfway there now...

I love your story great work can't wait for the next update

and here it is:
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CHAPTER 8: baby boom
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The years went past, and the children grew. At the ages of seven and eight, Brian and Angela had a lot of hobbies. Angela got really good in playing the piano, and even wrote her own songs. To Brian’s annoyance, she insisted singing them, too – but luckily, she had a beautiful voice. She also looked almost like a copy of me when I was at her age.

Brian, on the other hand, turned out to be some kind of a genius with computers. His first one, he opened up two days after he got it, to see what was inside. After putting it together again, it was upgraded and worked much faster. He could fix any computer problems, and learned all the advanced programs really quickly. He also read a lot, and could read a 500 page book in a day if he wanted to – which he did often. They both got really good grades at school, and had a lot of friends there.

Then I got pregnant again. Luckily, we hadn’t done anything with the room we had used for Angela and Brian when they were babies, so everything was ready for the little one when it came.

The children got really worked up about it, and often wanted to feel the baby kick inside my belly. Angela wrote a good-night song to the little baby, and Brian made a beautiful picture on his computer that we hung on the wall in the baby-room.

I was asleep when I felt the contractions start this time. We got dressed in a hurry (not easy when it hurts) and woke the children, since calling a nanny would’ve taken too long.

Ian drove us to the hospital, and when we got there, he asked the kids to stay outside the door with a nurse. Both of them wanted to come in to watch, and Ian didn’t know what to say – but the nurse saved him, and told them that only Ian was allowed to come in.

When little Alice was finally born, the kids almost stumbled over each other, running inside to see her.

“She looks just like me!” Angela said, and she was right; Alice looked a lot like her. She had the same eyes and the exact same hair color, and if I’d not known better, I would’ve sworn it was a little baby Angela I was looking at.
Angela and Brian were wonderful helpers with the little baby.

They helped change her diapers, and almost fought over being the one to feed her, or sing for her when we put her to bed for the night.

Alice loved when Angela sang for her, and she always fell asleep faster if she heard the soft tones of Angela’s voice – especially if Angela sang the song she had written for her.
All in all, we were a happy family for a long time.

Until I started feeling sick again. I knew I always felt a bit sick the first weeks or months when I was pregnant, so I took a test, and of course it was positive. I showed the test to Ian, and he smiled at me.

“If we’re going to have even more children than this one, we must soon be looking for a bigger house,” he said with a smile. “I don’t say I don’t want to have more babies, because I really do, but we only have one spare bedroom left when Alice moves out of the baby-room.”
“I know,” I said, ”but I think four children are almost more than we can handle. More babies and we almost have our own football team.” We both laughed.

Alice, crawling around at the floor, looked up at us with a puzzled face, wondering what her parents might be laughing about, and the weird look in her face made us laugh even more.

But after two months, the morning sickness had gotten out of hand. I wasn’t hungry at all, and I just lay on the couch or in my bed all the time, feeling really ill.
I’d felt sick when I went with Alice, but not this sick. Ian started worrying, but I just told him it was nothing to worry about, that it was just the morning sickness, and probably the flu, too. Alice had come home from the day care with a bad flu the week before, and, well, the flu wasn’t something to worry about.

But it only got worse. Four days later, Ian found me unconscious on the floor with a high fever, and was unable to wake me up. He called for an ambulance, and they got me to the hospital in a hurry.

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Oh noes, not again! I just read the rest of the updates since I left off, and it's really good! Keep going! ^_^

i love the updates suppppeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrr

I'm glad you like it! :jig:
makes me happy when people like what I write :valentine

I'm in the middle of a lot of schoolwork, and I'm also in the middle of a new story i've been thinking about posting (although there'll not be much sims-playing of me the next two weeks), so the updates may be a bit slow, but here's chapter 9. hope you'll like it, and I really appreciate comments!
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CHAPTER 9: bad memories coming up
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I was delirious for three whole days, and had bad nightmares and fever fantasies all the time. The doctors worried about me, and ran a lot of tests. When I finally came to myself again, I found Ian sleeping in a chair next to my bed.

I didn’t want to wake him, so I just lay there, thinking. To be back at the hospital brought back bad memories. Those bad memories from twelve years back, when the hospital was like my second home.
The door opened, and Ian almost jumped when he woke up. “Anna. You’re awake!” He turned around.

The doctor I knew so well now was standing in the door, looking solemn, and for all the world like he didn’t want to say whatever he’d come to say.
“I’m afraid I’ve got bad news. I wish I could say anything else, but I can’t. The leukemia is back.”
I wanted to scream. I wanted to say he was wrong. I wanted to throw something across the room in frustration. But I just lay there. A tear ran down my cheek.

“Are you sure?” I managed to say, in spite of the big lump in my throat.
“I’m afraid so. You’re immune system is working at a minimum again, and the flu you’ve got is magnified by ten from what is normal – and now you’ve got phneumonia. We can’t risk anything, so I’m afraid we have to isolate you. No visitors, except your husband. We have to discuss the treatments afterwards.”
I cried for over an hour.

It couldn’t be happening again. Not now, when my life was so perfect. It just couldn’t. But no matter how much I wanted this to be just another bad nightmare; I knew it was for real. Not being able to see my children was the worst of it. They were with one of our neighbors – a good friend of ours that also had kids – when Ian was at the hospital. I felt my belly. At least one of them was there with me in the isolation room. The doctor had insured the baby was just fine. I was four months pregnant now.
Ian sat there with me all the time while we waited for the doctor to come back. He tried to comfort me, but it didn’t help. I felt worse than ever. Then the doctor came in. He didn’t look happy.

“I’m afraid we have to start the treatment as soon as possible. Well, you know what you have to go through, and you obviously know how hard it will be, so I’m not going to tell you that once more.”
“What about the baby? Will it be hurt?”
His almost pained expression told me everything.

“NO!” I couldn’t hold back the scream. “My baby…” I stroked my belly. They couldn’t. They just couldn’t! “I’m not going to do anything that will hurt the baby, do you hear me? Nothing!” The tears flowed down my cheeks.

“Can’t the treatment wait? Just until the baby is born?”
“I’m afraid that might be difficult. You need treatment right now. We can’t wait much longer. You’ll only get sicker, and when the baby is out, it might be too late. The cancer might have spread too much.”
“You can at least try!”

The doctor stood silent for a long time. Finally, he sighed, and said: “We can try. If you’re absolutely sure, that is. You’re in the fourth month already, and the baby at least needs three, maybe four more months more to grow. But I can’t guarantee anything. I just want you to be aware of that if we wait with the treatment until after the baby is out, it might be too late for you to get well again. It can also be dangerous for the baby. Just think it through, will you?” He left.
Ian tried to talk sense with me, but I didn’t listen.

This baby deserved a chance of life, and as far as we knew, nothing was wrong with him, or her. Ian finally gave up, and admitted that he, too, of course wanted the baby to live. But he also said he wanted the children to keep their mother. I didn’t say anything. I wanted that, too.
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that's all for today

here's another chapter, but it's parted in two because I'm not completely finished with the second part. hope you like it, and I'd love comments!

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chapter 10, part 1: the waiting is the longest part
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I had to stay at the hospital until the baby was born. When I got well again from the pheunomenia, two weeks later, the children were allowed to visit me briefly. I almost cried with joy. I hadn’t seen them since I got to the hospital, and they were of course really happy to see me too.

“Mommy ill?” little Alice asked, tears flowing down her cheeks.
“Yes, dear, Mommy is ill. Mommy has to stay at the hospital a little while longer. You understand?”

“Want Mommy home!” she cried, and threw her little arms around me. It wasn’t easy for her to understand, since she was only sixteen months old, and not used to me being away from her.

I hugged all of them, and told them I would come home when I was well again. I hoped I was right.

Days went past. Weeks. Months. I felt worse every day, and not only because of the pregnancy.

I could almost feel the cancer spreading in my body, and I think my wild fantasy got a bit out of hands. Sometimes, the baby kicked like mad, but I calmed down when it did. Then I knew it was still alive. When I couldn’t feel the baby move inside me, I worried.

What if it got sick in there? What if I had done the wrong choice? What if…? There was a whole list of what-if’s. A whole list of them that repeated in my head over and over again every time I was alone. But luckily, Ian was with me most of the time.

Then the diary from when I was younger came to my mind. I asked if I could borrow a lap-top, and sat down in front of it. I tried opening the page I’d been using before, but it didn’t excist anylonger. Well, it was a long time ago since I’d used it the last time, so I understood why. I started searching for a site where I could let out my inner thoughts again, and found one not long after. I signed up, and started looking at what other people had written.

I remembered the last time I had written something in the first diary. It was the day after Ian had proposed. I’d been so happy and filled with joy that I’d forgotten to write anything since. Now was the time to do something about it. I started writing. I told my story, from beginning to end, from the day I got sick last time, and up until this day. About my disease, my husband, my children and my situation right now. It felt good to finally let it all out, and to tell someone other than my family about my thoughts. I got a lot of responses. They all wished the best for me, and every answer I got lifted my mood a bit. When I stopped reading, I was smiling. I told Ian about the site, and also gave him my password, just in case. I wanted him to share the site with me, and told him that he also could use it if he wanted to.

OMG tears on my cheek love this story

thanks, babygirl! :D

and for those that likes a bit of drama...
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Chapter 10, part 2: S.O.S
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I was sitting by one of the windows, looking out on the moon. I couldn’t sleep. I felt really sick, and the little one in my belly was being awfully quiet.

He’d been kicking like mad for two whole days, now – but all of a sudden, I didn’t feel anything. Tears were running down my cheeks.

“Why aren’t you moving?” I whispered. “Come on… just a little bit? To calm down mommy?” the baby didn’t respond. Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my belly, and it was not the baby kicking.

I tried to stand up, but when I moved, I felt it again, only stronger. I tried to get to my bed, but the pain was suddenly so intense that my sight blurred with coloured spots, and I couldn’t see anything at all.

“Help… me… some…one…” it came out in a hoarse whisper. I fumbled for the button that would call for the doctors, but my hand found only air.

It finally hit a vase of flowers that crashed onto the floor. A wave of nausea hit me, but I didn’t manage to get anything up.

I could feel it in my throat, slowly suffocating me. I tried to draw a breath, but it felt impossible.

My legs turned to jelly, and I fell on the floor.

I heard a careful knock on the door, and a soft creak when someone opened it.

“Everything all right in here? I heard the noise, and… Oh my...!” someone in a hospital pajama came running towards me.

Whoever it was, turned me on my side, and I could finally breathe again, but only barely. He pressed the emergency button, and seconds later, several doctors came running into the room.

“I found her like this,” the man said.
The doctors tried asking me questions, but my lungs were in a bad state for me to say anything. My vision darkened by the loss of oxygen.
“I think it’s the baby,” I heard a doctor say, while another pressed an oxygen mask to my face.

“It looks like she’s near to loosing it. She's bleeding, and the baby's heartbeat is weakening. We need to get it out now!”
I tried to say something, but suddenly, I couldn’t hold on to my counciousness any longer, and it all went dark.

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hope you all like it!
(and please leave comments/thanks or rate my story. It makes me happy!)

Great updates..But not another cliffhanger lol

Oh, you're evil with that cliffhanger! Better update soon! :D

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!!!!!
I love this story!

just wanted to know if you were still with me... :D

And you may have to wait a little bit for the next update, because I'm going home for a few days, and I'm also in the middle of some schoolwork that I really need to do as fast as possible.
I promise it'll be less than a week to the next update, though...

please live comments - they make me happy!

Oh no oh no oh no....I hope she and the baby are okay! Please don't let her lose it....

here I am again! Sorry for being so slow with this update, but it's difficult to do it without internet nearby.... and on top pf it, i'm really supposed to my schoolwork right now... :umm:
thanks for the comments, by the way!:D
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CHAPTER 11: waking up
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When my counciousness finally returned, I was in my bed again. I felt my belly. It was completely flat. Instead of the bump that had been there, a bandage was in its place. I panicked. Where was my baby? Was it even alive? I opened my eyes, and looked straight into Ian’s worried face.

“You really gave me a fright, there, Honey. I’ve been so worried I almost couldn’t sleep.” He tried to smile, but I could see from the strained look in his face it wasn’t easy.

“Where’s the baby? Please tell me it’s all right!” I swallowed.

“Calm down, Anna. He’s ok. They had to put him in an incubator, because his heartbeat was a bit slow, and he needs a bit of help to breathe – but the doctors say he’s going to be all right.”
“It’s a boy?” I smiled.
“Yes, a beautiful little boy, as beautiful as all the other children we’ve got.”
I relaxed, and my panicky breathing slowly got back to normal.

“Do you know what happened?”
“The doctor I talked with said that your body for some reason tried to reject the baby. They had to get the baby out before he – or you – died. They also had to operate him right after getting him out – something about him having a small heart failure – but he’s fine now.”

“That’s good.” I could see tears in the corner of his eye, and he looked really tired.
“Are you all right, Ian?”
“Yes. It’s just that I’ve been sitting here with you all the time since you came out of the surgery room, almost two days ago. The children are with the neighbour, if you wonder.” He stroked my cheek.

“I love you. Don’t ever give me a fright like that again.”
“I’ll try not.” I hugged him. “Can we go see the baby now?”

We went to the maternity ward together, and then found a nurse there that directed us to the intensive care nursery. We were almost afraid to go in. We just stood there, looking at the little ones in the incubators through the window. I wondered which one was ours.

“Looking for someone?” a nurse said, walking up behind us. She smiled. “You must be Anna. Come, I’ll show you the little wonder.”

She directed us towards an incubator standing against the wall. A tiny baby wrapped up in a blue blanket lay inside it.

“Here’s your little boy. He’s a real fighter, that one.”

We stood there watching him for a little while. It was weird to think that he was really here. He’d been in my belly, and when I woke up, he was suddenly not there anymore, but in an incubator.

“Do you want to hold him?” the nurse asked.
I nodded, unable to speak right then. She sat me down in a soft blue chair, which looked oddly misplaced in the otherwise sterile room. After a few minutes, she handed me the little one, and rearranged the tubes and wires that were connected to his tiny body.

He looked so helpless and frail under all of it, that I was almost afraid of touching him.
“It’s good for premature babies to be touched and talked to, especially from their parents. Don’t be afraid. He’s stronger than it seems.” The nurse went over to another incubator.

Ian kneeled down next to us, and touched the baby’s cheek. “Hello, little one. I’m your daddy, and this,” he pointed towards me, “is your mother.”

I smiled. Ian had to be the perfect father. I looked closer at the little boy in my arms. He didn’t have much hair, but the little of it I could see, was brown like Ian’s. His eyes had the exact same shade of blue as Ian’s, too.

He was a perfect little copy of Ian, just like our girls were like small copies of me when I was little. Ian was right. The boy was beautiful. It suddenly striked me we hadn’t decided his name yet. Everything had gone so quickly, and now, almost two months too early, he was suddenly here.
“What do you think we should name him, Ian? We can’t call him ‘boy’ or ‘baby’ forever, you know.”

We sat there for a while, trying to figure out a good name for him, while we admired our little wonder, talked to him and cuddled him. “Tom?” “No, I don’t think so. What about Ulric?” “Definitely not. Jeremy?” “Nah, I don’t like it. Darren?”
In the end, Ian came up with the perfect name. “What about Liam, then?”
I thought about it. “It’s a cute name. I like it. Liam it is, then?”
“Liam it is. Hello, little Liam!”
The boy, who had been sleeping, opened his eyes, and I could almost swear I saw a little smile on his mouth when he heard his name. “See, he likes it, too!”

I sang a little song for him then – the one Angela had made for Alice. Our time together with him was wonderful – until the doctor came in.

“I see you’ve finally met your baby. He’s a really cute boy, that one. But I’m afraid I’ve come to get you, Anna. We have to start the treatment at once. We discovered when we got the baby out that the cancer has spread to other parts of your body. We thought that a bone merrow transplant would be the best treatment, but because of the spreading, we can’t do that anymore. Now it’s down to medication and radiation therapy like the last time.”
The happiness about meeting little Liam, faded quickly with the doctor’s words.

“Isolation, too?” I said, almost afraid to ask.
“Yes. Ian can visit you, but I’m afraid your children can’t. Especially this one,” he indicated Liam, “because the medication we have to give you makes your touch sort of poisonous to him, and since he’s both weak from the surgery, and premature, he gets infections even easier than you right now.”
I hugged Liam one last time, before I gave him back to the nurse, who carefully put him back into the incubator again.



After a tear-wet farewell with little Liam, I sat down in the wheelchair the doctor had brought with him, and it was back into the isolation room.

Steeling myself up for the time ahead, I tried to think positive thoughts. Liam was safe, and that was the most important to me right then. I also knew the doctors were afraid it might be too late to start the treatment, but I tried to keep my hopes up.

Oh noes! You better have a happy ending for this story, or I'm going to have to do something bad. I can't wait to see what little Liam looks like as a toddler! :D

hmm.... you'll have to wait and see... :read:

a short chapter this time...
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CHAPTER 12: again...
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The treatment was even worse this time, since I wasn’t allowed to see my children. I got really weak, and even a small cold could be really dangerous to me. I just lay there in my bed, day in and day out, waiting to get well again, and crying a lot.

I knew, this time, that I had something to really live for – my children, and Ian. I knew I was going to get well again. I just knew. I wanted to see my children grow up, and I wanted to get old with Ian, getting grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
This time I didn’t cry when I started to lose my hair. I just sighed, and stopped looking myself in the mirror.

Like Ian said, looks wasn’t everything. I knew he loved me no matter how I looked – even though I felt I looked like a zombie.
I used the internet diary a lot. I let out all of my worrying thoughts into writing, and I got only positive responses, which spirited me up.

Ian comforted me when the treatment made me ill, and he could sit for hours just holding around me when I cried, which I did a lot, especially from missing our children. My body ached almost all the time, so the doctors often had to give me strong painkillers just so I could sleep.

Ian told me everything that happened with the children, and gave me things they’d made for me, like the cd with a beautiful self-written song from Angela, the self-drawn get-well-card Alice had made (it was only a folded paper with a big blob of colors at the front, and a drawing inside, but I knew that all her love for me was in it), and from Brian a picture of everyone in our family – including little Liam – saying ‘we all miss you’. I hated being isolated from everyone. Especially my family.

I saw only doctors and Ian for four whole months. When I finally got a break in the treatment, and was allowed to go home for a short visit, the first thing I did, was to hold around my children, hugging them for a long time.

Liam was also allowed to come home together with me. He was still a bit weak, and had had both colic and a bad pneumonia at the hospital, but now he was better.

To be together with my children and husband lifted my spirits, and I felt really happy just being with my loved ones, and I enjoyed every second. After a week, I had to go back to the hospital. I felt weak, but at the same time, I felt stronger, more ready for the hard time in front of me.
But the happiness I had felt earlier quickly came to an end. My body ached worse than ever, and I had troubles just standing straight.
“The cancer has spread to your skeleton, I’m afraid. That’s why you’re having these pains,” the doctor said.

“The treatment isn’t working as it should, and the cancer has gotten a too good hold in your body. It’s not much else we can do other than hope for the best, and ease your pains with stronger painkillers than the ones you’re using at the moment. The treatment might still work, but we have to change the medication to something stronger, too.”
They did. This new medication was a lot stronger, and I felt even sicker than before. I couldn’t stand on my feet without support, and only a visit to the toilet was like climbing Mount Everest, only a lot harder. Every day was harder to come through than the day before. But whatever the doctors tried, nothing seemed to work. I just got worse...
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(and now I need sleep... it's 08.25 in the morning, and i've not slept at all since I woke up about 12 in the morning yesterday...)

Dang, that stinks. I feel so sorry for her. That must be tough, especially with Ian and the kids. Hopefully she'll get better soon.

Hmm, she should try some alternative treatments, something organic maybe. All that bed-rest and no exercise would be bad for anyone. Umm... I mean, great updates! Keep going! :D

actually, that never crosed my mind... :umm: and besides - Anna wasn't up for a lot of exercise since she almost couldn't get out of the bed without help...

I have to update this soon, I think... but I'm in the middle of planning two new stories, and also in the middle of some schoolwork - and learning how to make infant diaper overrides... (no wonder my head is a bit blurry right now... )

oh, and Annachibi - I promise it'ss not be long until you'll see little Liam as toddler...

You take multi-tasking to the max, eh? Well, hold off on the new stories until you finish this one, or else you'll never finish it! :D