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Mad Poster
Original Poster
#1 Old 13th Jun 2015 at 3:21 AM
Default Being 18-33 is harder than it seemed.
According to modern psychology, children today have the same stress levels as 1950s psych patients, but out of all age groups, nothing is more stressful than being between 18 and 33, which these individuals are the most stresses.

Lately, since my mother was so hard on me about my tragic financial records, I have been taking walks to clear my mind. Today, dad gave me $7 to use as I saw fit. I went to the craft stores and bought fabric for Sailor Guardian uniforms and had money left over for milk.

In the madness of the day, I realized I hadn't bought any new dolls since this past March.

My question to you 18-33yo users, did you find it hard to enjoy life's pleasures because of life's menial tasks piling up on you?

Personal Quote: "I like my men like my sodas: tall boys." (Zevia has both 12 and 16 oz options)

(P.S. I'm about 5' (150cm) in height and easily scared)
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#2 Old 13th Jun 2015 at 3:50 AM Last edited by fairycake89 : 13th Jun 2015 at 4:12 AM.
Am I allowed to ask the age group exactly what their stresses are related to? As a parent I want to understand what, if anything, is likely to stress my son out when he hits 18 .. which isn't all that far away.

I look at him and he doesn't seem stressed - he is relishing the idea finishing school and going to Uni - His grades so far have been awesome. He seems hopeful and happy and he appears to have plenty of friends (all nerds like he is). He has his part time job which he enjoys for the boost in his finances.

I only notice him getting stressed at the moment when his computer plays up ... Even when we had to tear him away from his friends in Ireland and transport him (two years ago, at what some would call 'an awkward age') with us here to NZ where he had to start a new school and make new friends in a very different atmosphere, he didn't seem stressed. He even has a date for the upcoming College Ball - which is something some of his buddies don't have.

So now I'm worrying if I'm missing something ....
Guest
#3 Old 13th Jun 2015 at 3:54 AM
(I'm 59, but I've been 18-33 in a past life)

Life is a lot easier if you get squared away and handle business. Nervous about an exam? Get ahead of the learning curve early. Need money? Get a job, make a budget and stick to it.

I'm pretty good at making excuses myself... Last month I was thinking at the stop light "How can I exercise with my bad knee?" I looked up, and saw a man with no knee and no lower leg on a bicycle in front of me riding along, and I felt ashamed of myself. I mean, it was so witch, the way it happened. I think my witches' mark was developing then.

In university, I got my first degree in physics with the crutch of financial aid; grades were a little sub par. My GRE scores were outstanding, tho'. All the relatives who said they'd help me in U, were trying to mooch money off of me. I went to grad school and I found that grad school was little other than hazing and exploitation at my chosen university. I left and found that a BS and half a Ph.D. in physics is useless during a recession. Got a job moping floors and taking orders from High School drop outs, and got a BS in engineering in record time. No financial aid, and the threat of academic probation because I had a degree already - so they'd throw me out if I had less than a 3.0 GPA. I worked 30 hours a week and took 20 Units a semester in academic overload, and pulled off dean's list, Eta Kappa Nu, and honors. All while trying to find a girl friend and got married the first time right after graduation. :-D It was a heroic effort that I find remarkable that a slacker like me pulled off.

Work first, get squared away, only then you can enjoy life's pleasures.
Mad Poster
Original Poster
#4 Old 13th Jun 2015 at 3:59 AM
It's more like I have 3 months of backup of orders to fill. I had plans to be an executive that works managing all kinds of companies from industrial to commercial to even consumer use, but lately I recently began getting panic attacks, and grace under fire would end with me groping for my pills.

Besides, I need to unwind.

Personal Quote: "I like my men like my sodas: tall boys." (Zevia has both 12 and 16 oz options)

(P.S. I'm about 5' (150cm) in height and easily scared)
Theorist
#5 Old 13th Jun 2015 at 4:23 AM
Quote: Originally posted by fairycake89
Am I allowed to ask the age group exactly what their stresses are related to? As a parent I want to understand what, if anything, is likely to stress my son out when he hits 18 .. which isn't all that far away.

I look at him and he doesn't seem stressed - he is relishing the idea finishing school and going to Uni - he seems hopeful and happy and he appears to have plenty of friends (all nerds like he is). He has his part time job which he enjoys for the boost in his finances.

I only notice him getting stressed at the moment when his computer plays up ... Even when we had to tear him away from his friends in Ireland and transport him (two years ago, at what some would call 'an awkward age') with us here to NZ where he had to start a new school and make new friends in a very different atmosphere, he didn't seem stressed. He even has a date for the upcoming College Ball - which is something some of his buddies don't have.

So now I'm worrying if I'm missing something ....


I think it's generally spoken this.

Until roughly your 18th birthday/high school graduation you mostly could just rely on your parents, teachers and other adults for all sorts of reasons. And you don't need to, because you're still not an adult. From your 18th birthday it's start to differ, getting slightly more indepency and need to care for yourself: from being a college or university student in your own room, with mummy and daddy cooking, cleaning etc and teachers (like in high school) constantly telling you what to do. Of course, you still got home work and such things, but how you do it and when you've to find out yourself.

After college/university it's even getting worse and tougher: for the first time a full time job with your own responsibilities, perhaps caring your own family for being the ''mother'' or ''father'' yourself and things like a mortgage/rent, groceries, mouths to feed etc. When you're in your earlier thirties you're probably old and experienced enough to know a little what to do. You've to get loose from your parents

My stress as part of this age group is related to above, but not the same. Because missing the thing mentioned above (just a part time job and no life what so ever) makes me stressed and depressed.

The gorgeous Tina (TS3) and here loving family available for download here.
Mad Poster
Original Poster
#6 Old 13th Jun 2015 at 5:15 AM
Well, for me, it's financial poverty. To be fair, I have a disability that prevents employment, I have a wage from the government that is at the just below poverty level and a common myth that money can't buy happiness has been debunked in psychology circles. Turns out financial security and peace of mind are correlated to how much money is brought in, with the cap being $80,000 annually as there is no discernable change any higher.

As someone who doesn't want to be dependent on Uncle Sam until I am no more, I am also struggling to go back to school as I have an extremely tight budget that can't cover tuition fees alone.

Personal Quote: "I like my men like my sodas: tall boys." (Zevia has both 12 and 16 oz options)

(P.S. I'm about 5' (150cm) in height and easily scared)
Mad Poster
#7 Old 13th Jun 2015 at 5:32 AM
Uhm... College/school, building a life for yourself and juggle your own economy, finding a palce to live, finding a job, finding a boy/girlfriend, Getting married (optional these days), finding another place to live that's bigger, getting pregnant/living with a pregnant girlfriend, having kids - maybe 2-3 by that age if you start early, lack of sleep from having little kids in the house, juggle job + kids + kids' after school activities + trying to find time for your boy/girlfriend, having to plan dinner and whatnots for a family where at least one kid is picky, and trying to have a social life somewhere in all of that.

Hmm... Nope. I can't for the life of me figure out why 18-33 is the most stressful time.

On a serious note, I'm kind of trying to juggle school (that I should have finished a few years ago) with health issues, and everyone around me keep getting boy/girlfriends and having babies, and since my biological clock is ticking away very loudly in the background, my overall stress level (when considering things I really should be doing by now) is already pretty high. Things don't always go as planned, unfortunately, but at least I think I'm slowly getting there.
#8 Old 13th Jun 2015 at 5:40 AM Last edited by fairycake89 : 13th Jun 2015 at 5:59 AM.
Quote: Originally posted by simmer22
Uhm... College/school, building a life for yourself and juggle your own economy, finding a palce to live, finding a job, finding a boy/girlfriend, Getting married (optional these days), finding another place to live that's bigger, getting pregnant/living with a pregnant girlfriend, having kids - maybe 2-3 by that age if you start early, lack of sleep from having little kids in the house, juggle job + kids + kids' after school activities + trying to find time for your boy/girlfriend, having to plan dinner and whatnots for a family where at least one kid is picky, and trying to have a social life somewhere in all of that.

Hmm... Nope. I can't for the life of me figure out why 18-33 is the most stressful time.


But it was like this when I was in that age group - but apparently it's worse for 18-33 year olds now - but I can't see what's changed to make it worse for that age group now.

I don't buy that the economy is worse now particularly, as it was pretty f*cked up (in the UK and Ireland) when I was in that age group - that's why we invented Punk Rock, riots and anti-government protests marches I can't, of course speak for the US or indeed other countries - perhaps it is the economy?

So what has changed?

Do you think there are more social pressures on that age group these days?
Guest
#9 Old 13th Jun 2015 at 7:47 AM
I donno. University was a lot cheaper back in my day, and it was a lot better as well. I don't see how people go to University now. I mean, I picked up a masters degree recently but the company paid for that.

On the other hand, when I was 18, they were still drafting 18 year old guys and sending them off to fight in Vietnam, which is kinda a stressful.
#10 Old 13th Jun 2015 at 7:52 AM
Quote: Originally posted by stuart-grey
I donno. University was a lot cheaper back in my day, and it was a lot better as well. I don't see how people go to University now. I mean, I picked up a masters degree recently but the company paid for that.

On the other hand, when I was 18, they were still drafting 18 year old guys and sending them off to fight in Vietnam, which is kinda a stressful.


I agree there, student loans are the 'thing' here and it's not unusual for some students to leave Uni in debit to the tune of $40.000 and more. I know some of my partner's family have left the country to work overseas to escape paying it ... I can't imagine what that stress must feel like.

The major stress creating scenario in my youth was what was called at the time The Troubles and I narrowly missed at least two IRA bombs in London by a few hours (one of them being the Harrods bomb); somewhat ironic considering I'm half Irish ... and being that in London at the time wasn't something one could safely admit to at the time without inviting unwanted interviews at the cop-shop.
Instructor
#11 Old 13th Jun 2015 at 9:21 AM
Do I find it hard to enjoy life due to menial tasks piling up? No, I don't. I power through them, get it done, and enjoy some me-time afterward. What is stressful is basically just life after highschool. I'm having to do things on my own for the first time and 2 months in I already screwed myself out of going to college this year. So I worry how long it will take me to get my act together and he able to afford a good school, and I also worry if I'll ever measure up to my competition. I want to work in a specific, competitive, highly freelance field. That scares me. I also can't find a job. I'm to the point where I'm running out of places to apply to due to my lack of experience. That's stressful. I'm also scared that any job I get is going to be exactly like my first one and I'm going to have a breakdown and quit because I can't physically push myself to go back.

I also thought that I'd be free of fear of judgement from my peers after I graduated. I didn't even attend the graduation ceremony, that's how much I dislike everyone I was in school with. But nope, now that I'm stuck here, jobless and without a certain future, I'm more scared than ever of being approached by one of them asking "Oh, why aren't you in Chicago?" while they're working at the job their parent's connections got them, driving the car their parents bought them, and while they go to school on the tuition their parents are paying. Right now I'm a graduate sitting here living the same life my 14 year old sister is. That stresses me out.
Needs Coffee
retired moderator
#12 Old 13th Jun 2015 at 9:56 AM
I wish I was 18 to 33 again.

"I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives." - Unknown
~Call me Jo~
Mad Poster
#13 Old 13th Jun 2015 at 11:33 AM
Hmm.. I dunnnooo. I couldn't find a scientific journal for your "children today have the same stress levels as 1950s psych patients" statement so I can't really say too much about this study other than a webpage I found, though studies do state that these days more people have been diagnosed as having anxiety disorders. Though, mental disorders had more stigma back in 1950s, so it wasn't common for people to really come out about problems like this, as well as that Psychology has advanced so we can understand these disorders better. So it's hard to say whether more people have anxiety in 2015 than in 1950s, only that more people were diagnosed.

I can see why the beginning of adulthood would be stressful. I think also we have more resources to combat stress. Universities often offer some form of counselling and parents can still offer financial assistance (though maybe no as much towards the 33 end - but hey my Step-dad lived with his parents until he was in his mid 40s and now he lives down the street from them and has them do his laundry and cook him dinner). Also the long term effects of stress such as heart-attacks, stroke, suppression of the immune system, speeding up age processes, infertility etc are less likely to happen/are less visible and not as life changing.

I'm currently 20 and I'd say I have a good handle on stress. My Mum died when I was 18, just 1 week before I moved far away to start university, custody battles between my sister and step-Dad, as well as behavioural problems with my younger brother have been a constant stressor for everyone involved, and recently it's come to light that my Step-Dad has become increasingly creepy with my sister and doesn't really take care of the children so we're in the process of talking to social workers to see what we can do about this, added on to the fact that I'm currently going through cancer diagnosis (which involved having my tonsils out a few days ago, which was super super not fun). I'd say I can handle it all though. I don't feel stressed in the slightest a lot of the time. When somethings on my mind I post in the vent thread, I talk to friends, and then I just kinda handle it and it doesn't really stress me out anymore. The only times I'm ever really stressed are during exams and assignments, but yknow, I manage. I've started practising for exams and doing my assignments earlier and it's been working out pretty well so far.

~Your friendly neighborhood ginge
Scholar
#14 Old 13th Jun 2015 at 11:49 AM
Quote: Originally posted by PANDAQUEEN
According to modern psychology, children today have the same stress levels as 1950s psych patients, but out of all age groups, nothing is more stressful than being between 18 and 33, which these individuals are the most stresses.
My question to you 18-33yo users, did you find it hard to enjoy life's pleasures because of life's menial tasks piling up on you?


Well shit. If I'm as stressed as a 1950s psych patient, I'm glad I wasn't around then!
Yes I do find it hard to enjoy things now because all things I want to do aren't going to "get [me] anywhere in life". Sure I want to do well at school, yes I chose the subjects that I am doing, yes I want to go to uni so I can get a job. But the problem is that stuff matters so much now. I don't need to be rich, but I don't want to be struggling financially.

The problem could be school systems. Like I totally would have taken A Level maths if it wasn't such a huge step after GCSE and another big step from AS to A2. Why can't it be like IB, where you have standard or higher, they even have maths studies which is at the same level as GCSE maths, but at least I would still be doing maths! And because of that, that restricts what courses I can do in uni. One subject. An basically dictate my whole life. Also, why don't they teach us grammar! It makes learning other languages so much harder if you don't know it. I've been learning French for over 10 years, yet I still make the simplest mistakes simply because I don't know grammar in english so I can't always translate even if I understand.

It doesn't help that I've never had the "mummy, daddy, I want to be [insert random job] when I'm bigger!". And then just. Aaarrrg! Life is so complicated, and I haven't even done any actual living yet. It stresses me out, so i read, play, watch tv, anything that will distract me, which is bad because then I don't do all the stuff I'm supposed to do and then things happen which make me panic, so it all goes downhill.

That may have been more of a rant than an actual response. I tried, really Panda
Theorist
#15 Old 13th Jun 2015 at 12:17 PM
Looking back as an older person, I have to say each age range has stresses but I think overall for EVERYONE unless their mommies and daddies are well off or they have great jobs themselves, the main problem now is financial.

Getting a degree (or multiple ones) does not always translate into financial success. Working hard does not mean you will get a great job with wonderful pay. There is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. You don't win the race and then get this magical thing called success and live happily ever after. Life is full of peaks and valleys.

You don't wake up one day and say, "I have life sorted out!" Every day you have to make time for joy. Maybe that is hearing your baby laugh or petting your dog, or watching the clouds up in the sky. Little moments of break from the every day life. (which is mundane and stressful) are all we get.

Add to this another person (long term boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse), then you need to deal with different types of stress with another person who has his or her own insecurities, issues, problems, slant on things and you will see "being an adult" has other types of stress. Then there is a stress of being a parent. You think your life is stressful but then get to re-experience it through your child when he is picked on, doesn't get chosen for a party, or has (like in my son's case) developmental issues and "just is quirky."

Maybe this is also a rant, but the bottom line is you will always have stress, you just need to learn how to deal with it in a healthy way. Otherwise, you easily see why so many people are alcoholics, drug users, addicts to sex or "whatever gets them through."

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." Will Rogers
Mad Poster
#16 Old 13th Jun 2015 at 2:13 PM
Maybe it's added pressure from parents, peers and the world around you these days. You're expected to be successful in your job, in addition to having a perfect life with perfect kids with perfect grades, a perfect home, a perfect spouse, and a perfect body on top of that. Social media and TV programs say you should live a perfect life, a perfect home, a perfect garden, and if you don't have it already, here's how you get it. And whenever something in your life is perfect you're almost expected to show it off on social media, so that everyone else with not-so-perfect lives feel they're failing. Even those who seemingly live perfect lives are expected to continue being perfect.
Top Secret Researcher
#17 Old 13th Jun 2015 at 2:26 PM
No, I don't find it hard to enjoy life. Every morning my little one sings songs in bed to get me to hear her. The fact I wake up to hear that is amazing considering how fifteen to twenty one went. I try to find something beautiful every day to look at or think about.
I'm better now financially than when I was with my ex. I have extra money to spend each month and even have a bit accumulated. It likely helps that I don't want stuff and things. I've realized there are some things I need. All my clothes fit in a single dresser drawer. And are likely five years old. I'm slowly working on that.
I find as long as I have someone to spill to now and again, the small things that do stress me out don't seem as daunting.

She was rouge and red lips, dark hair and soft hips, mischief and laughter - and she wanted you to love her faster.
Née whiterider
retired moderator
#18 Old 13th Jun 2015 at 3:07 PM
Yeah, I'm... definitely on the side of those who are saying it's financial. Sure, it's challenging getting used to living on your own and keeping house and all that, but most people get used to that pretty quickly. The problem now, especially for people with degrees, is that there's absolutely no certainty that you're ever going to be able to get into a career, especially if you have quite a narrow idea of what you want to do. And with massively higher student loans and massively increased house prices, while you'll be able to get by working in a shop or something - you won't ever manage a house if things don't change. It's that lack of the prospect of financial security in the future that messes people up in my experience. Of course the economy has been bad before, but now there's a sense that economic hardship won't be short term.

What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact.
Guest
#19 Old 13th Jun 2015 at 4:34 PM
Poverty sucks. Been there, and you don't even get the t-shirt 'cuz I couldn't afford it. Not eating for a month because you have no money at all is not the way to lose weight, either.

I don't know how the young'ens do it now. The tuition to minimum wage ratio is higher, textbooks are 10x more expensive while minimum wage has only doubled. And house prices have gone so high you can be flying at flight level 40 and still not see the top: then you come out of U with all this debt, and jobs are going overseas. That would stress me out. I had it simple: earn that engineering degree (I didn't realize then that I only had to get it one way or another and didn't have to earn it...) and money is no problem.

My elder daughter figured it out. My son, not so much. Love them both and would give 'em my left arm if they needed it (they're in the 18-33 age range barely).

And even if you "make it", you can still marry poorly and end up bankrupt and busted through no fault of your own ... even with a decent job. Been there and done that too... and again, the bankruptcy court got my t-shirt.

I think maybe it is harder now than in the 70s-80s.
Top Secret Researcher
#20 Old 13th Jun 2015 at 7:03 PM
I agree with you on that, Stuart. The not eating because you really can't is terrible. I remember going weeks for a time wondering if I'd die eating expires things from the fridge and cupboards and doing it anyway. I can remember walking round all foggy because everything was starved. Course, that's been a hard habit to break. Noubie every now and again asks me if I remembered to eat.

She was rouge and red lips, dark hair and soft hips, mischief and laughter - and she wanted you to love her faster.
Guest
#21 Old 13th Jun 2015 at 7:46 PM
When I got to grad school, I had no money, nothing. Something was holding up my student loan check. My mother sent $5 to me with a note to buy some beer. I was amazed that she sent money to me, more amazed she said buy beer with it.

To Hell with beer, I bought a sack of potatoes... I figured they would last awhile.

Nope, Ran out of potatoes. Didn't reach the end of the month. I should have bought rice. Huh. 20/20 hindsight. What made it especially hard was my room mate, a self admitted sociopath who exploits people, was eating steaks every night and wouldn't wash the dishes.

I found out that my student loan check was sent to the wrong university. My university was angry at me because I made long distance calls to find my check and I had no money to pay the phone bill. I had just enough gasoline in my beat up ol' car to GET to the other U, but not to get back... I was amazed that the other U gave the check to me because I wasn't enrolled there. Anyway, cashed it at the nearest bank, bought gasoline and I was promoted from "penniless, starving and soon to be homeless" to the rank of "just broke". I was 30 pounds lighter.
Scholar
#22 Old 14th Jun 2015 at 9:57 AM
I live in NZ and am almost 19
a Job, money for University and being independent are my biggest fears right now.
I wasn't the brightest at school so I don't know how I will be able to get a job.
I have been at home for already 6 months since High school.
My uni costs will be, 7000 a year. I realized that with my current job it would take 13.50 years to pay for a single year of my intended course.
Instructor
#23 Old 14th Jun 2015 at 2:26 PM
It's hard, but not giving up on life pleasures is the only way to make it out alive.
I try to spend my spare money on things that I know will make me happy on the long run. A scented candle. A rose plant. A piece of jewelry. A bottle of good rum to savor while drinking dark chocolate chunks with my bf. I have come to understand that really, quantity doesn't mean anything. I used to blow so much money in cheap stores like H&M and buy pleeeenty of clothes I didn't need or actually want. Now I really try to buy less and buy better.
Right now I still depend somewhat on my parents (they still pay part of my rent, which is quite low though) because I couldn't make it with my current internship job. I mean, I technically could, but that would mean not having really any money left from rent, bills and food. Going even: I couldn't buy a pair of socks if I needed them. But at the same time, I know the job I'm going to start in the next weeks will give me the opportunity to be truly independent in some months' time. I have faith

Me, me, me against them, me against enemies, me against friends, somehow they all seem to become one, a sea full of sharks and they all smell blood.
Mad Poster
#24 Old 14th Jun 2015 at 2:58 PM Last edited by HarVee : 14th Jun 2015 at 3:09 PM.
Quote: Originally posted by PANDAQUEEN
My question to you 18-33yo users, did you find it hard to enjoy life's pleasures because of life's menial tasks piling up on you?

I mostly ignore a majority of menial tasks. Dishes? forget about it. I don't care if its unsanitary, but I'll reuse a dirty dish and save myself the tedium of washing it. Shower? Only when I truly stink. Dirty floor? Forget vacuuming. Just wear flip-flops so I don't have to walk on the dirt.

I don't care about these things. Do I ever get stressed about these minor things? Rarely. In fact, I hardly get stressed at all. It is only times of deep inner conflict that I feel stressed. Such as when my carefree lifestyle conflicts with another person's. But I'm a very introverted person though, so it comes natural for me to able to focus my energy on my inner self instead of the outside world.

In the end, life and our universe, always manages to figure itself out. Why worry about how much money you have when you can instead spend your time contemplating the mysteries of life? Some have said that I have my priorities wrong, and as I young person I should be focusing on the here and now. But I can only refute their statements by asking "why?".

Anyway, I'm rambling a bit now.

Because the earth is standing still, and the truth becomes a lie
A choice profound is bittersweet, no one hears Cassandra Goth cry

Test Subject
#25 Old 14th Jun 2015 at 5:25 PM
I'm 23 and i would definitely agree that its mostly the financial side of life that gives you the most stress. I started uni in September after working full time since i left school and even with the savings i had i feel stretched very thin. I get stressed out when i think too much about how i'll still be living at home till i finish my course at 25. I'm doing a nursing course which means i work full time hours on placements 50% of the time which makes working difficult. But at the end of the day i tell myself that its short term, that there is no point in stressing myself out as this is not forever. Nurses in the UK are really needed so at least i feel pretty secure in the knowledge that one days i'll be able to apply my skills. Stepping back and looking at the big picture helps a lot.
 
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