'She's a child in a woman's body. I'd wish she'd grow up.'

Kid: Hey, calm down, it's not like he's burning the food!

'I'm working my butt off, while the rest is having fun. Not fair. Look at the bags under my eyes, people!'

Help, the stairs are eating me!!!

"I bet you're wondering how I got in this situation. It's a funny story, actually. But first, I need you to bring me back a chocolate-banana milkshake. With whipped cream. And a cherry on top. Did you get that? Nod if you understand. Good, because the demon in this piano won't settle for anything less."

I told you not to try to fuse with me again, now you will suffer the consequences of not listening!

Hmm, where there was a book on the psychology ... Maybe it will help me understand these women...
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I heard he was a good kisser, but never expected it to be THAT good!
Here's mine:



Having in mind who he is, your caption made the pic even funnier.

So, every penny followed you home.

(For those of you old enough to remember this) "It's a bird, it's a plane, it's super...wait, never mind it's just another UFO"

ARGHHHHHHHH! The tracksuit- it's horrible!

'Aww, shit. First time ever that I see an UFO and now I can't get in because it's on fire. Darn it, my luck!'

Girl with the book: ...and that's mommy and daddy's plan to freeze us!
Snowball woman: Where are you kids? I need to feed you snowballs!
The guy: DERP

All praise the power of the beard!

And it was then that our feline friend realized he was truly, royally-well. You get the picture.

That fracking newspaper is SO long to read..and boring even.

Well, we are finally alone. What should we do now?

'Aren't you adorable!'
'Woman, who are you and can you try not to break my hand? Outsj!'
'Sjeesh, why is it that these akward situations always happen behind me? I should get out less!'

"This will be a fun vacation, mommy and daddy said. Tell that to my butt!"

Oh My God! Will you just order already!

"Don't look at him...don't look at him..."

For some reason, all of the sequins on Olive's new swimsuit suddenly leapt three foot to the left.

best woohoo EVAR

(In my picture, the alien and kid are aunt and niece, the guy is just a roommate who is also a friend with benefits and the lady in the thought bubble is the kid's grandma.)

Hmmmm... I wonder if grandma was like that too when she was younger...