So after having the fucking trial delayed (oooo what a surprise!) again, apparently it's actually happening tomorrow. My sister went to the court today and did her bit, I am yet to see her at work though, so this is taking a very long time, and I get a text from the stupid detective telling me to go in at 11 instead of 9 (so another delay there, too) but I "won't be giving evidence until the afternoon". Why the fuck do I need to be there in the morning then!? This is going to be fucking emotionally draining already, but now it's going to waste the entirety of my day, just so I can fucking appease you court idiots. The 'court advisor' bitch that's been e-mailing me occasionally since my charge was initially laid was apparently being extremely rude to my sister at the court this morning, and kept being rude to our friend, who she had taken as her support person, until she left the room for whatever reason and then went back in there and asked "you're not the sister I've been e-mailing, are you?" where my sister answered no, she wasn't, and suddenly this lady started being extremely nice to her. My sister rang me during an interval earlier and said she didn't like her, and could see why I don't like conversing with her. That shall be the only 'fun' thing about tomorrow, getting some of my own back with this bitch.

Ahhhh, why do I get so worked up over these things? Everything is so stressful.

My laptop is like this too. My reason is that I accidentally dropped it. I think it might be time for me to buy a new laptop, even though I've only had it for around a year

I think I'm going to have to stop my story. What a shame, I really liked making it. Well, at least I can uninstall TS2 to make some more space for TS3 on my laptop. *sighs*

Spent three hours in court this morning. 2 of which were spent with the defence lawyer calling me a liar. That was painful to go through.

really?

That moment when you forget that one of your main characters exists, so you leave him in the enemy's territory and don't remember him until you've written a bunch more.

Ever had one of those moments?

Yeah. I did last night.

*headdesk*

I spent $17 on raffle ticket's and I didn't win anything. At least the money was for a good cause

Facebook is being all kinds of weird today. First my chat sidebar disappears, now it says my friend deactivated her account, which she'd never do.

New day, new rant.

My headphones are officially unusable. Not because the cord is bad. Not because the switch is bad. Not because the sound is going out. Nope.

The foam pads are coming apart. Yay for stupid reasons to need to replace $300 headphones! My dad is lending me his not-as-good (but still great) ones until we can get mine fixed/replaced.

I never thought I would need to replace these things because of the fucking foam pads (the things that go around/over your ears). They're just barely out of warranty, too - the two-year plan ran out five months ago.

Rawr.

One of my lecturers hands out notes with no attempt at grammar or punctuation whatsoever. It takes me twice as long as it should to read and annotate them because of having to add in grammar to make them actually make sense. I'm pretty sure if I took that approach in the exam he'd just fail me because he's usually so persnickety about everything.

I'm so annoyed at myself. Every time I try to clean I get really overwhelmed and start freaking out.

This is bad because there is a lot of cleaning that needs doing just to get this desk in my room. Let's think, shall we: the area the desk is going is currently occupied by a bookcase, so that needs to be cleaned out, cleaned off and moved down the wall. However, it its future spot are my TV stand and a little shelving unit holding random stuff, so those need to be cleaned off and moved. Then, to get my desk and chair to fit in their spot, my bed needs to be moved down its wall towards the closet, so not only does this big cabinet need to go (which it would anyway), I have a bunch of stuff between the cabinet and closet that I needs moving.

Long story short: my whole damn room needs to be cleaned, every square inch of it.

And the whole problem that we're trying to fix is the lack of organized space for just all the stuff I have. This is a massive problem when trying to clean because nothing has a place, at least not a permanent one, so shit just ends up being shuffled from spot to spot, nothing ever really getting cleaned.

Gah.

I just read an article in a national newspaper written by a woman who spends the whole article talking about how she's been on a diet since she was 12, how she enjoys hunger pangs, how sometimes she's fainted from not eating properly, how no man or woman finds anyone 'overweight' attractive (overweight means above a US size 8/10 for her), and how being fat makes you a failure. Seeing things like this being printed makes me so angry. Being thin is not the most important thing in the world.

This whole room redo thing is stressing me out.

Also I'm dizzy. Dizzzzyyyy.

My mom has sucked all the fun out of prom for me. I wanted to go alone (because I wanted to hang with my friends and I knew my boyfriend didn't want to go). She pressured and talked me and my boyfriend into going together. She refused to let me pick out my dress and bought one for me (I like it, but I still didn't pick it out). I'm not allowed to get ready at my friend's house because my mom wants to do my hair and make-up because "I don't know how" which is insulting because I do know how to apply and put on make-up. They were going to rent a limo, and so now I don't get that either. The only reason she's not going to DRIVE us there is because HIS GRANDMOTHER is going to, and she's going to stay there and drive us back two hours before prom is even over and it's only a four hour event. We had also planned on going to Denny's after prom as a very late dinner/very early breakfast since they don't feed us at prom. This is supposed to be one of those special moments in every girl's life and every single inch of fun and possible enjoyment is going to be sucked out of it. I don't even want to go anymore but I already bought the tickets and my mom already bought the dress.

Yesterday I met some friends in the city for the day. We were on the escalator coming up from the underground station and this man behind me touched me, then came past me on the escalator and inserted himself in-between me and my friend who was on the step two above me. Then he went around her to start walking up the escalator and touched her too, right in front of me. We were both so surprised that we didn't even say anything to him and I'm so annoyed we didn't now.

So I got a really pretty organizer, only to find that it is literally one millimeter too wide for the spot I wanted it in.

RAWR.

EDIT: God I hate insects.

EDIT 2: Threw up my dinner again. Second time in a week. Lovely.

EDIT 3: Fuck.

The past year and a good part of this year have been an emotional wreck for me. Over thinking has burned me down and I feel fragile, I get upset at meager things and I snap back at people, and it's not exclusive to the times Aunt Flowe's visit is near or anything but I am so moody lately and glum, my friends have started to get pushed away by my solitude and bad attitude at times. I wasn't like this...and just last night on the phone with my apparent one best friend, she said that I need to stop thinking so much, recalculating and just going over the past and planning the future so much which I know is what I need to do but honestly the days when I feel like myself are so rare nowadays that I forgot who I really am. I am just a loner girl who ruins the fun and snaps back at people and isolates herself from the world. Where the hell did I go?

Last night while lying in bed, I had a really good idea for something to write, but I was too tired to write it down.

So I just remembered that I had the idea... but I can't remember what it was <_>

^ I've had that happen to me before too, and when I remember about the idea again, I have nothing to write it down with.

I had the worst day yesterday. I can't stand mean, pathetic little people who know they're upsetting you but carry on doing it anyway because they get some kind of sick kick out of it. I wish I could just tell him what I really think of him, but I can't.

I have all these great ideas for stories/scenes in my head, but I don't know how to put them into words.

Zero motivation. Zero study time and finals in two weeks. Eeep!

Can I just stop the caffeine abuse and replace it with book abuse? I just need to get rid of these books once and for all. Two weeks...just two weeks and the nightmares are over.

It's never nice to find out someone you care about has cancer, no matter how early stage it may be. Cancer is still a scary word.

It's fucking HOT.

Winter, come back, pleeeease.

Found out on Friday that a friend of mine died in a car crash on Thursday morning. She was turning twenty three yesterday. So sad :-(