That's it? That's IT? Gah. Well now I'm flippin' disappointed.

Got a couple of bad grades at college today that completely ruined my week. -_-

I love my roommate, but she is such a whore. She think it's okay to cheat on her boyfriend, and then yells at him when he catches her and gets upset. What the hell? And then has the audacity to suggest to me that I should try it because "it's like fun". I have no intention of slutting up UCLA and cheating on my boyfriend. Hell to the no girl, hellz to the mothafuckin N.O.

When I'm reading some of your comments, I really miss an "I'm sorry for you" button...

I have a matter with my classmate. I've never hurted her but she is always on ruining my life. To tell the truth, I'm very, very sensitive and she always takes advantage of it. Laughing at me, hurting with words, decrying me for classmates, friends... Whatever comes to her mind. Why is it good, I'll never understand. The joke is when I pluck up the courage to tell her not to continue this (this happens really rarely... and just in a cultured way) she gets angry and I am the two-faced wicked girl for her...

Ignore this bitch and be strong. Act like you don't care and laugh at her small-mindness. It's actually your fault for revealing your sensitiveness when you're around somebody you don't really trust. Something like this happened to me too when I moved to new school. Be tough with her, and she'll see the light

Off to school T_T ...........

Thank you very much, Nixxy! I'm on obeying this.

Are you ill? Get well soon!

I wish computer programs had a face, so I could give Adobe Indesign a black eye. After I finished beating the crap out of Illustrator.

I have a 78 average overall in World History. That ruined my week so much...

I wore a really nice pair of shoes today and they blistered my heels to death. I don't know how I'm going to wear any other shoes for the next week. And I got 73% on Psychology essay. I have no idea what's happened to my marks this semester!

Having very mixed feelings about this new dog now. I mean yeah, she's adorable and playful, but Idk. I'm just so used to three, I don't want a fourth. But at the same time I know I'll get used to her.

Rawr. I felt this exact same way about my laptop.

In Hungary weather is like winter now. I love winter, I'm looking forward for the real one. So beautiful, so intimate... But it will come just 1,5 months later. No problem, I've lit a candle to evoke its mood.

Nice lovely, chilly day today . . . and I'm stuck sorting Halloween candy until 7 pm into non-peanut and peanut, hard, soft and chewy because my dad saw it on the news that parents would now CHOOSE which candy they wanted their kids to take.

When I was a little girl I was just thankful I didn't get poisoned.

Someone help me. I'm feeling more and more like I don't want a fourth dog. I just don't want things to change, I like things how they are now. Her cuteness isn't winning me over anymore. And I don't want to be stuck with her for seven hours a day until my mom gets home. Our biggest dog (we're talking 80 pounds here) doesn't like her, she's already snapped at her once. But my mom will never let her go.

I sound like a little brat. Damn it.

I was a going to see that crappy looking Three Musketeers movie until I saw Milla Jovovich prancing around with her big boobs in a movie trailer. I am so sick of women being portrayed in the media as nothing but mere sex objects. In the media we can never be portrayed seriously. We're just hot slut buckets for men to jizz off to at night, and when we are portrayed in the media as leaders it's usually the "bitchy and sassy" stereotype, this is still very much a male dominated society. Just look at artists like Beyonce, Rihanna, Britney Spears, we're constantly portrayed as nothing but mere entertainment in a male dominated society. And what do we look like when my little sister and other teenage girls who are looking for an identity, and they're reading these magazines and looking at these movies with women showing that we are only good for our bodies and not our intellect? And who do we look like when 13 year old boys are looking at the media for an identity, and they're taught that they are suppose to value women as sex symbols? Maybe I won't change the world but I will definitely do my best to influence other women around me to better themselves and see that we don't have to always be about our sex appeal.

Fuck, I just spoiled the end of a book for myself, completely by accident. FUCK.

It's supposed to be the end of the world today... yet again. Do they never get bored of this same old shit?

I have my Formal in a month and a half, and I was so excited, but now I'm just over it. I'm getting an absolutely breathtaking dress made, my hair, makeup and nail appointments are all booked, and my ticket has been bought, but I have no enthusiasm. The guy I was going to go with and I talked today, and his old friend's boyfriend will be unavailable for Formal, so we decided that it would be better if he went with her, so I found another date, but it's just not who I really want to go with. I'm just worried the night will end up a disaster.

I'm so tired and frustrated. I'm supposed to be happy because everything is just fine, but I just want to curl up and sleep.

Oh, is it that time already? Seems like just yesterday it was May. Hmm.

Oh god... please don't cancel on me. I don't know if I'll feel more disappointed or embarassed.

Some people just need a good bitch slap upside the head!

I hate Hitler, Mussolini and Staljin >.< Because of them I have to stay home for the weekend and study the time of history where they're involved in. Curse you bastards!

Group projects will be the death of me.

I really, REALLY HATE when people spout homophobic, racist or sexist rants all over the forums, especially when they act like a total close-minded ass about other people's opinions, or true fact. Not on this site (though I've seen quite the share over in General Discussion), but seriously, this other site needs to chill the fuck out or I'm leaving. The only reason I'm on there is because they have fucking amazing voice actors.

It is HOT. It's the middle of spring and today it's expected to rise to 28ºC (82.4ºF). It seems like winter just vanished so quickly and now all that's left to do is melt. Ick.

I have the meanest temple headache right now. Ugh!

I know I'm terrible at keeping friends, but his friendship is something I'm more and more willing to give up on. I just put up with so much, and he's always like "Oh, you have to put up with me because I need you" but he's been constantly pissing me off for the past three years and I have my own problems and I don't know if it's worth it anymore.

I can't believe it. That ruined my day. I hate City.

I'm kind of head over heels for this guy. I'm pretty sure he's not interested in me, and just likes the attention, and is just toying with me. Every time I think I've gotten over him, something just happens and I forget all of my rational and logical reasons to move on. I'm so confused gah.

The fall break will begin soon... But unfortunately that means that the teachers put every tests this week, for "not to learning in the break"...

Omg I am fed up of my best friend, she makes it seem like the only way we can be best friends is by centering our friendship around secrets, lies and deep feelings when actually all I really want is someone to laugh with and confide in when I need. And actually I would rather have my other best friend, so now I am being a bitch to the first one and I feel so bad but I am FED UP of her!!,!,

Some people piss me off. You're quitting college (3/4 through, too) because you can't handle two jobs, learning to drive, AND college? Big deal. Add a disability in there. I'm coping. I'm managing to get complete distinction first time on everything too. It just goes to show that if you put some effort in, you can get what you want (instead of playing xbox and drinking 24/7)

That's not the thing I'm pissed about the most either. You and your stupid friends talk ALL LESSON (You're both 19, for god's sake!) and then ask the lecturer about the topic when other people, who actually care, need to ask about certain things. I'm sick of the lecturer's having to repeat themselves ten times over to you because you can't be bothered to listen and draw stupid airplanes and talk about fucking CoD.

It's just so irritating. I want to do the best I can, but I'm being held back by stupid morons who can't get their work in time, and can't achieve anything over a pass! Go back to fucking entry level!

Had a huge talk with Jenna over Skype, bawling my head off over everything. And she has no words to say. She ALWAYS has words to say.

I so agree with this. It's normal, more or less, to be a difference between animals and humans, but this is preposterous, seriously!

^ Yes, but you can't give an animal therapy to stop it killing, can you? So many murderers, convicts whatever have done something maybe as a child, and have grown up to regret it and they've had complete CBT (among other therapies) which has slightly turned their lives around. There's a hell of a lot of research being done currently into the 'Evil' gene, and people who've got this gene tend to be more violent, and more likely to commit a crime than someone without.

I did think the PETA were a bunch of tossers though. Blaming human's being attacked by animals because we eat meat. Newsflash, asswipes, animals don't know if you're eating meat or not, they're still going to kill you if they want.

FFFFFFFFFFFF---!

Thanks. You better hope you have not ruined everything.

I felt like I was back in high school today. I was sitting inbetween two friends and before I knew it they were arguing about how big the clothes store one of them works in is ("It's massive, it's one of the biggest in the country" v "It's really small, I've been in much bigger ones!"). One of them called the other one stupid and she responded with "grow up" and then they both got really nasty; I should have been the one telling them to both grow up! I've only known these girls since September so I stayed neutral, but I do find it amusing how they're both older than me and have been referring to how immature and stupid people my age are, when they had a fight over something so ridiculously petty.

On a different matter, sometimes I really wish people would just tell you what they're thinking. It would make things so much easier.

No rest from studying for me this week. Pff.

Once a traitor, always a traitor.

Losing my sanity. I could have SWORE I felt an Earthquake or the ground shake or something and no one else felt it. Guess it was all in my head.

The food I just ate did something weird to my throat. Now my voice keeps cutting off and my throat starts stinging randomly. The food wasn't even that hot...

EDIT: Why am I such a slacker?

Why do we have to do PE at all? I do PE everyday to school, in school and from school. My teacher never ran as much as I did, that's for sure, and she dares to give me a B. Pff.

I would have aced the test today if I studied more for it. I hate my lack of motivation.

Even though she was a freakin' bitch and stuff, I feel really, REALLY bad for breaking the friendship with my ex best friend. I mean, I literally hate her for what she's done, but I still love her as if she was still my friend. I am completely confused and absolutely hopeless. I hate both my mind and my soul, which are currently conflicting.

I mean, I just feel sorry for her. She's just so emotional and nobody really talks to her anymore, it pains me to see her like that. I know her mother, and that individual is friggin' crazy, no wonder her daughter is such a loner. I just want to hug her and I'm sure she wants to do the same, but we're too vain to do it. I HATE MYSELF.

It's October, not December. Snow doesn't have to fall for 2 more months. 2 MONTHS! Stupid Mother Nature, is she on her period or something?

I really hate it when I'm inspired to write something creative, but instead have to put my nose to the grindstone and write something academic. School: responsible for writer's cockblock (not to be confused with writer's block) since forever.

My favorite pants are officially falling apart. I got these things four years ago, I don't know where to find more. I don't even know what they're called.

My period is seriously late, as in I don't think I've actually had one for two months. I was considering making a doctor's appointment but I don't really have the time to actually go to the appointment. It's probably nothing anyway.

This week is gonna suck. I should be glad I have the week off, but I'm not. I miss my friends.

I wish I hadn't cut my hair. It wasn't even anything drastic, but it's just really, really annoying because it falls in my face all the time now. My mother warned me not to, but I didn't listen.

Just, for the first time, read what the Human Centipede is about.

Ewwwwwwww.

EDIT: Hello period. Oh look, it brought friends. Tears and thoughts of me being mentally disabled for the rest of my life.

These essays just won't. get. done. dkjfgdha!

Finding out my favorite band is taking a break after such a shitty day is just what I needed. Ugh.

The male species is so confusingly annoying. Srs statement.

I have an exam today on a novel we read for my Aboriginal Literature class, only my teacher hasn't taught us about it at all. I've been getting consistently low marks in her class, which I'm really not okay with, and I foresee another bad mark with this assessment piece. On top of that, I just realised a speech I have to give for another of my classes is due this Thursday rather than next, and I have to give up my free lines today, which I'd spend working on it, in a meeting with the counselor.

A close friend's grandmother died unexpectedly and she called me sobbing for thirty minutes. Listening to her cry almost made me cry, and I've never even met her grandmother. I just wish there was something I could say or do to make her feel better.

I'm going to explode if you don't answer.
Pick up, pick up...

Also, I feel like something always jumps in the way of my plan. I'm going to have to try and wake myself up at 4am just so I can execute my plan without interruption!

8am bus didn't turn up. 8.10am bus was late. Hence I missed the 8.25 train and had to wait for the 8.55 train. Therefore I reached my station at 9.55 when class starts at 10am and it takes me 15 minutes to walk there. So, panicking a lot about being late, I ran through the streets of the city like a fool and then ran up the four flights of stairs to my classroom. Reached the classroom, pretty much having a heart attack because I am so unfit, to find...the classroom empty and a notice pinned to the door saying that the lecturer was ill and had cancelled the class. Apparently he'd posted this online at 8.20am...really helpful when you leave your house at 7.55am.

I feel so stupid. So idiotically, humiliatingly stupid. Why? Why did I do it? Why the hell did I tell you how I felt? Because you don't like me back and it's going to be very awkward for the next few days/weeks in school. I shouldn't have told you. I should have left well enough alone and stayed in the dark, never knowing if you liked me or not. But no, I told you exactly how I felt and I asked you if you felt the same, and what did you say? "No, not really," I walked away crying.

Then I met up with my friends at lunch. They were sympathetic at first, then you guys ignored me. And of course, what should happen not ten minutes later? My best friends crush comes up to her and asks her out. So I sat, completely forgotten, as all my friends oohed and ahhhhed at you and your new boyfriend. Everyone except you. You told me you felt so bad, and I know you meant it. I know it's not your fault that your crush likes you and mine doesn't like me, but I can't stand it. I'm sorry. Yes I'm jealous. I've never had a boyfriend and this is your 3rd. But no guy has ever liked me because I'm always the nerd with my hand up and my head down. I hate always feeling so alone, and I've cried more today than any other day.

And my mom asked me why I was so upset, so I told her. The first words out of her mouth were," Have you lost your F*****g mind?" followed by "It's probably much worse than you think,". You're really great at this whole advice thing, aren't you?

OK, so I don't think I'll be able to hold it in any more before I freakin' explode. My ex best friend, about whom I've been venting for a couple of days now, just won't shut the fuck up about me. She keeps talking behind my back with another ex friend of mine, but she does it so that I can hear her. Has she really forgotten what a good friend I was to her? Has she forgotten that I comforted her when she said she's bisexual?! Or, maybe, she just didn't realize. In any case, one day I'll just beat her ass up. I don't care about what was between us any more, I cared so much it ruined my nights and my dreams. I had enough of caring about everyone so much, when they do nothing but hurt me and then don't give a flying fuck about it. But I just can't bring myself to be like that. I get attached to people too quickly and it's SO PAINFUL when it's over, in both romance and friendship.

I really hate the guessing game that is liking someone. I hate that a Katy Perry song actually accurately describes it, but it seriously feels like he really is hot and cold. The worst part is I know I'm probably coming across that way to him too, but sometimes I say the stupidest things without considering them first so then I stop talking before I say something even more foolish and it ends up making me come across as stand-offish.

I hate being surrounded by people with such negative self esteem about their bodies. I wish girls could just see how beautiful they are instead of constantly complaining about how "fat" they are and judging eachothers bodies.

I dislike disliking you, but I do. There's nothing wrong with you in real life, I just don't really like talking to you online. This constant apologizing thing is just awkward. I want to hit you with a pillow.
I don't feel relaxed around you at all, you're not like my other friends who I just goof off with without the conversation getting weird and uncomfortable. I'm quickly beginning not to like you to the point I'm worried it's going to leak out into real life.

Agh.

This week has just been awful and I want to cry.

Seriously... what in your right mind would be so fun that you have to slam a locker door shut? And into my freaking HEAD?!? It hurts like hell!

So, the friend I posted about above whose grandmother died? We usually send each other short texts about funny things from our day, funny things from the Internet, etc. I haven't texted her any of that stuff since her grandmother died a week ago, but since she's been mostly unresponsive to my texts asking how she is and if she's getting enough sleep, I decided to start texting her as per usual with the mindset that perhaps a bit of normalcy would cheer her up. She responded with a bitchy text claiming that she doesn't appreciate my attempts to pressure her into being normal and how I'm making her sad that she can't just bounce back. I get that she's lashing out because she's grieving, I get that, and I know that she'll apologize in due time, but it's just hurtful to attempt to help in any and every way that I know how and then be castigated for it.

I hate that I just can't keep my mouth shut...

I keep my room key on a lanyard affixed to my ID case and, at some point on my walk from my building to the dining hall, it fell off. I've retraced my steps twice and I can't find it. I got a spare key from housing, but if I can't find the original in twenty-four hours, I have to pay to have the lock changed and the key replaced. I'm posting this not because any of it is a really big deal, but because I'm sitting here crying as a stress reaction and I kind of hate that I'm so whacked out over a key.

I made a joke today during class break, about someone or whatever, can't remember. My ex best friend started laughing, but when she realized I was the one who made the joke, she just stopped and frowned. WHY, why in Earth does she hate me so fucking much??

I send the most embarrassing e-mails when I'm tired. And to teachers, too.

Well it turns out I shouldn't have been worrying about saying something stupid. Yesterday I knocked over a water bottle (yes, the cap was off and yes, it was completely full) right in front of him while we were talking and spilt it all over my desk, my notes and my handbook. After swearing loudly, I then said, "It's a good thing I laminated my book." There was this silence and then he said, "You laminated your books?" I could just hear this slow clapping echoing inside my head and a voice saying, 'Well done.' Why do I have to be so clumsy?

^ If it makes you feel any better, I laminate my stuff too.

My mother is coming for Christmas. Joy of joys. >:S

I love UCLA.... I just don't like some of the people here.

There is something seriously wrong with a guy who rejects you, acts like nothing happened, and then asks you who your best friend is dating. Seriously messed-up. What the heck is wrong with the guy?!?!?!

My vocabulary is not cooperating. Sometimes it just seems like the word with the exact nuance I need doesn't exist!

And this is just for an email. There's a reason I don't write for fun...

Is it weird that I can more easily express myself on English than on my native language?
I'll go with yes.

Just totally lost respect for my aunt when she posted this to her FB:



"Feel free to go back where you came from"?! What. The. Hell. Her grandparents (my great-grandparents) were immigrants! Not all Canadians are Christian! I myself dislike the religious references in our anthem, and fully support the removal of religious favouritism from schools.

Attitudes like this piss me off.

Ugh. DAMN I don't feel like getting up today >:-(

My parents called to say that my dog's tumor has finally gotten bad enough that he needs to be put down. I'm driving home next weekend and they wanted to know if they should hold off long enough for me to say goodbye to him. I don't think that he should have to suffer any longer on my behalf, and I don't think that I have it in me to say goodbye to him knowing that he's going to his execution. They're going to do it Tuesday and I'll be home Thursday; it's just going to be so strange walking in the door and not being greeted by his happy little self. I know that it's what's best for him and that he's led a long and happy life. I just wish I could stop crying.

I'm am so stressed right now. This week I have to take 5 exams and 2 tests, over the course of three days! FIVE EXAMS!!! AND TWO TESTS!!! I'm ready to pull my hair out over this. And I only found out that I had to take my exams early yesterday. I was supposed to have a whole extra week to study. Now I've got 2 tests and two exams on monday, 2 more exams on Tuesay and another ****ing exam on Wednesday.
ksdlnmdklndklnd.mcklmekangfdfnedinfaejka;nfdjskmjvkelma

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

My ex best friend deleted her Facebook account a couple of weeks ago, deleting all of her comments EVER, except the ones made on MY profile.

I am SO ready to get this day over with, I'm so not feeling it. I just want to go back to bed and sleep all day.



I know how you're feeling, we had to put one of our dogs to sleep a couple of years ago, and it was a very tough decision. A lot of people put their dogs through expensive surgeries and it really doesn't prolong their life...in fact, it usually just causes suffering, and quality of life is more important than the prolonging of life. Your family is doing the right and humane thing. It'll be painful yeah, but overtime the pain does get less and less but you'll never forget the memories and how they made you feel.

So apparently my sister came home smoking last night. If she's going to do this, I'm going to demand she either quit or be kicked out. I will not have her fucking up my and my family's lungs for life.

My parents have no concept of Sunday mornings. By 8AM, the vacuum cleaner and the lawn mower were going, and when I suggested that I'd make blueberry pancakes for my breakfast, it was instead decided that I was to eat some plain bread because I didn't have time to toast it. Whut?

My game crashes every single time I try to finish up creating a family. Fuck. In other news my dad caught me making out with Felix in my room and kicked him out and now Felix isn't answering my texts.

I called my dad at 11:45pm last night to make sure he was okay because he wasn't home. When he answered he was really surprised that it was nearly midnight, he was getting carried away talking to his friend.

Next time I noticed the clock it was 1:30am... he still wasn't home. Tried calling him and his phone was off, apparently. Tried again when it was 2:30am, still off, so I began to panic a bit. I have no brothers or sisters so my parents are very important to me. I had to ask my mom to stay awake with me because I didn't want to be alone and I was beginning to get scared and a little upset because I didn't know where he was and if he was okay.

My dad finally came home at 3:30am. I've grounded him for the entire week.

Actually, she didn't delete her Facebook, she blocked me. I think I'm going nuts.

My half sister and her annoying boyfriend are on a different floor and polar opposite side of the house from me. Should I really hear them yelling? I know couples have their arguments, but I can hear shit like this every single time he calls her and every single time he's over. It's getting to be ridiculous. Her boyfriend also made fun of me because I got hit in the head by the locker door. What a douche. I swear if I don't hear her tell me "I broke up with *boyfriends name*." soon... well, let's just say if you hear in the news "Teenage Psychopath Kills Sister's Boyfriend Out of Pure Hatred", it's me.

Careless people do harm to people who care, let's put like it that >_< And I'm so sick of it!

I've been feeling really nostalgic recently. I know I shouldn't live in the past, but it's hard not to look back on a time when things were really good (or at least seem like they were really good with hindsight) and compare that to now. I've also really been missing my grandmother recently. It's almost three years since she died and I guess it's starting to hit home that forever really is never again. I don't know if this is because the future kind of seems hazy at the moment. I'm trying to focus on the here and now and do that whole living for the moment thing but for practical reasons you have to consider the future. It's all very well to say you should live every day as if it were your last, but you'd be pretty screwed if you blew all your money and went around telling people how you feel only to find yourself still alive the next day.

I really need a break. Oh god, less than seven weeks until Christmas. I can't wait.

I don't think I can take it anymore before I completely break down. This... this stone-hearted girl my ex best friend is just ruined my life. I feel worthless and lonely and vulnerable without her friendship. I have many other friends, that's not the problem, it's just that I loved her like my own sister and she was like "Screw it". I can't go any further with this, the pain is just unbearable.

That makes two of us. Ugh, I'm not adjusting to college life like I thought I would. I'm actually incredibly homesick.

Thanks so much, Dreamy and The Creeper. I know it's better for him and that he shouldn't have to suffer any longer-- it'll just be difficult to adjust to life without him.

Two things:

1. The next installment in the saga of my friend whose grandmother died. I was having a normal conversation with her and, as you feel obligated to do when someone to whom you're close passes away, I told her about my dog. I didn't tell her expecting sympathy; I told her because I don't want to have that conversation a month from now when she finds out that my dog died and feels hurt because I never told her. She flipped out on me because, the way she sees it, I'm attempting to minimize her grief and the death of an animal is in no way comparable to the death of a human. I just hate it when people claim that their grief or their suffering is in any way more important or more poignant than someone else's. No one can be the judge of that. It's not a competition. I want to help her, I really do, and she has made it clear to me that she wants to be helped-- however, it's just so hard.

2. I have a vegetarian friend who frequently rants to me about the evils of factory farming and such. As a friend, I want to care about what she cares about, but whenever she goes on these speeches, I can't help but wonder what the point is. Sure, factory farming is bad, but I feel like getting up on the soapbox with her would be hypocritical, and then she judges me for failing to get up on the soapbox and take a stand. I'm an omnivore-- what does she expect me to say?

I am in no mood for college today. Or tomorrow. Or the rest of my life.

I'm screwed for this French test...

It better be shorter than I'm expecting.

Most awkward hug ever... faceplanting someone's shoulder is not cool. x.x;

I want it to be summer already. I want to cuddle with my cats and go for a run every morning and watch cycling and see my friends whenever I want to.

This. What the hell is this world coming to?!

5 exams, 2 tests, and 2 quizzes over the course of 4 days. And on top of all that I got my period.....I'm starting to think the universe hates me..... -.-