Half an hour waiting at the bus stop in the dark, with wind and pouring rain was just great.

Edit: I almost forgot about this, but my criminal law lecturer told us today that we should study homicide and sexual offences for the mid-sessional exam...it's nice of him to give us a hint and everything, but we don't actually cover homicide or sexual offences until next semester...

Exam today at Literature. Hell no.

Minor vent, but I'm so bored and nobody feels like going anywhere. Boo.

I am exhausted, freezing and hungry. I haven't slept in four days now and it's having such a huge effect on me, especially my brain...not exactly the best thing to happen on an exam.

Mixed messages flippin' suck. And my muscles ache all over. Bleah.

My family have so little Christmas cheer and I find it so frustrating. I'm the only one who ever puts up the tree and decorates it, and I have the feeling that if I didn't do it, we'd just go without for the year. I suggested that this year, we all put it up as a family, and that was all fine until a week ago when my mum says, "Why don't you put it up on the first of December?" I agreed to that, without realising it was a Thursday and, once again, I'd be left to put the tree up by myself. I don't mind it, but I just wish my family got a bit more into the whole Christmas spirit.

While it is a HUGE step forward and a great day for the Australian LGBT community, I am rather sick of people on facebook going "ZomGGGG Gay MaArrriAge IS Llegal now!". No, it isn't. A civil union is not a marriage and there are some big differences between the two. Seriously. Read the whole article and not just the headline people!

Math test tomorrow. kdjhfljshgdlhgla.

When will Youtube learn? "Don't fix what ain't broke."

Words cannot describe how much I hate the new YouTube homepage.

I can't believe what problems do I have with installing Mozilla on new computer! >.<

So hungry. Crappy fridge contents. I'm so hungry, gaaah.

I'm having a meeting with one of my old teachers next week and his brother-in-law, who happens to be a publisher, and a few people from my English class because we're all getting published in a literary magazine. It was all organised and set in stone, but one girl decided she wanted to make everything difficult and swap all of her shifts around so we now have to reorganise our whole meeting. It's so completely unprofessional to ask the person publishing you to reschedule because you wanted to make $5 more at work. Ugh.

I'm being such a girl about things at the moment. Sadly while I can appreciate that fact, I still can't stop myself from doing it.

It feels like midnight when it's only 5:44 pm. >__<

I wish I knew people here that you didn't know... just so I could take you out with them and you could get to know them. Sigh.

The Sims 3 Showtime?! Really?! Excuse me while I give yet another snort of derision. Ugh.

The traffic on Sunset Boulevard was ridiculous today. I just wanted a frozen coffee from Coffee Bean but I did not feel like waiting in traffic any longer so I just went straight home. Uggh, sometimes I wish my car could just fly above all the rest of the cars, and I can just honk my horn and yell "HAHA, YOU'RE STILL STUCK IN TRAFFIC, TOO BAD YOUR SHIT CAN'T FLY LIKE MINE!!"

I want snow. It's the third day of winter and still no signs of snow. I want snow.

Dilemma. I want to text him 'cause I never text him first and we haven't spoken for a whole day. But since I never text first I can't do it. And what the hell would I say? Truth is, I miss him, but I can't say that. Gah!

Yeah, I just found out I have another aunt who I haven't met in my 15 year existence. She just came over today and was like "Hi, I'm your Aunt Janice." I kinda just stared at her wide-eyed and I said, "...Hi." What else can you say to a deadbeat aunt? My other aunt may be annoying as hell most of the time, but at least she cares! Worst part? She looks exactly like Roseanne Barr, it's fucking scary! DO NOT WANT SHARED GENETICS!

Facebook could make it a little easier to use its privacy settings...it just took me about half an hour to figure out how to hide my photos from everyone bar my best friend, and I'm still not totally convinced I've succeeded.

I'm starting to be really pissed off at my homophobic father. Every single time the discussion about homosexuals comes up, he finds it necessary to remind me how "they cannot be trusted! THEY ONLY THINK ABOUT SEX AND THEY'RE PEDOPHILES, ESPECIALLY MALES! Homosexuality is a mental disability!". I don't care, my best friend for over five years was a bisexual, I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK, DAD! Pedophiles and sex maniacs. OK, I got it, I don't care, I will never think of them as being any different than myself, just because they like their own gender. I just don't understand his problem. I mean, he goes all bananas when talking about homosexuals, but then he says "I have nothing against them!" "I just want you to be careful around them!". Sure, dad, they are going to rape my future children in a bush outside the house and they are going to hit on my husband, sure.

I know how you feel Creeper, my father is also homophobic, but he also has racist tendancies and hates Islam to boot. It's great considering I have a lot of foreign friends. Sigh.

^Oh, yeah, forgot to add those two. He also has them.

Join the club ladies, minus the racism, my father is extremely conservative and also extremely Christian. Which is always an issue considering my best friend is a lesbian I remember after she came out to her parents, they got into a huge argument and she came to stay with me, my mom and step-dad. My dad called and made a huge deal about it, even going as far as to say she better not sleep in my bedroom. Honor thy parents, yes, but I nearly had his head over the phone.

I tried to make a posebox. It officially didn't work in-game! -.-''''''''''''''''

Oh well, I guess I'm going to get it work once in this lifetime....

Jeez, try knocking first, would you? The door's shut for a reason!

^Me too. I have butterflies in my stomach. What the hell?




Story of my life. I am listening to music (and lip singing) and my father / mother / brother / sister comes in. It ruins my mood and stuff. And if I even DARE lock it, it's World War 3.

There's no point to this life I'm living anymore except as a transfer between two points.

I'm in such a horrible mood today, and I guess the pouring rain only adds to it.

My mom calls me at 7:45 AM yelling my ear off about a spat her and my sister got into. Ugh! I don't give a damn, I am trying to sleep!! And now I can't get back to sleep, thanks mom. Appreciate it.

I feel like utter crap. I hate when things are different. I shouldn't care but I do. I want things back to how they were.

The only thing that makes me feel any better is the fact I felt the same mood coming from someone else too, and I hope it was for the same reason.

The silliest things have been annoying me today. I cannot for the life of me understand why someone would leave a cabinet door open? Is it that hard to close it? You forgot that quick that you opened it? Uggh!

Math can be so frustrating! If you didn't teach it to us, don't give us homework on it! Dammit!

Personal vent, I might delete this later as I always feel uneasy posting TOO much information on Modthesims, but I have to express this somewhere rather than punch a hole in the wall.

Earlier today I said some pretty nasty things to my roommate and made her cry. All over a simple bottle of shampoo. I've been so irritated this entire day, and I realize it's because of all the stuff that's on my mind. Of course I apologized for being a complete asshole, and told her that I was projecting my anger out on her.

After that I realized I had to get some balls and finally tell my family that I wanted to refuse the bone marrow transplant surgery. I told my mom first and of course she's trying to get me to change my mind, as will dad and everyone else in this family. Of course no one is actually listening to what I have to say, considering it's my body and I'm the one who has to go through it. Part of the reason why I'm refusing, and it may sound ignorant, but it's because I feel absolutely fine. Why go through such a drastic procedure when I feel perfectly healthy? Of course there's a difference between feeling healthy and being healthy, but I'm just saying I'll have to take those chances, because I can't bring myself to do it. One of the side effects is that I have a high risk of becoming infertile. I would understand if I were pushing 50, but I haven't even finished my first semester of college. My doctor told me that Kostmann's patients live relatively normal lives well into old age, although that's with the help of Neupogen, which my body is obviously rejecting. I've been taking Neupogen shots for the past 5 years and now suddenly my body is rejecting it, I really don't understand it. My doctor tried increasing my dosage to .8 per 7 days... which is ALOT! However after two weeks, I went in for my check up and my blood count dropped from 2.0 to 1.8, which is why the bone marrow transplant was the only option left.

If I can be extra careful and make sure I don't catch any illness, steer clear from sick people, take vitamins, carry hand sanitizer at all times, eat the right foods and exercise, then I'm really convinced I'll be fine. And honestly when my sisters say things like, "do you want to live or die?", it doesn't make anything any better, I'm not a fan of death speeches and I just really feel like everyone in my family is taking it more seriously that it really is and blowing it WAY out of proportion, or maybe I'm just not taking it as seriously as I should. But in any case, I really just don't want to continue focusing on this and neither do I want it to continue impacting my life.

I don't think I can wait until January 16th for new Gossip Girl. I'm way more emotionally invested in that show than I am with any other and it's probably not healthy. But still, awwkjsdfh

It's raining like hell outside (when it should be snowing, but nevermind) and I have to go to college by foot. GAH.

He wants to ask me something but it's not the right time apparently. Now I'm left here thinking/wondering about what it is. Not cool. GAH.

Well, you have to know that they just want the best for you, because they care. What if your kid had the same problem as you and the only thing that's left to do is operation? You would try to force him/her to go for it, right? It's the family thing

> I have a HUGE headache. I can barely see clearly since that stupid volleyball hit me in the nose. I swear I'm gonna kill that bitch! I can't count anymore, she hit me so many times! I truly do hate her. Fu***ng annoying and stupid as hell -_-''' And I always knew PE was bad, and here is the friggin' proof.!

I hate drawing shoes. D:

Yeah, that was trivial. But it needed to be said.

When I warn a lot of people on my site about an impersonator, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SIDE WITH THE IMPERSONATOR BECAUSE THEY'RE "NEW" TO THE SITE AND BECAUSE YOU THINK I'M BEING HARSH TO HER, WHICH I AM NOT. They are NOT new and they HAVE done this before.

Over the past two days, my coffee machine has broken, my laptop speaker blew and the internet has decided it hates me. What did I ever do to technology to make it want to ruin my life by taking away three things I desperately need less than a week before I have 7 exams?

All my gym teachers have been douche bags to me in some way, shape or form. This guy doesn't believe me when I said I'm legally blind in one eye. It's true, been so since birth. :/ If my own damn mother tells you it's true, you should believe me when I tell you I'm legally blind in one damn eye!

^ You can file a report with the front office or the school's medic if you're having issues, chances are they can set the teacher straight if it's on your record.

In other news, Chrome seems to hate opening Formspring, GraphJam, NoCC, Facebook, YouTube and Google. FML.

Okay, I am never going to be able to learn all of this by Monday. It is simply impossible. I might just cry onto my exam papers instead of writing answers and see how far pity gets me. I'm guessing not very.

I paid $480 to get a dress custom made, and it was beautiful. It was for my Formal, and everyone who had seen it said it looked amazing. And then, the night of the event, I put it on, and the zipper broke completely. I had to safety pin it the whole way down just to stay moderately decent, and after that I had to have a shawl wrapped around myself for the whole night. It's SO infuriating! I'm going to have a word with my dressmaker.

No sleep for me today because of my blasted coughing. Why can't I pass a winter without getting a cold?

I am so furious. I had a blood test today for various things, but my doctor had included a pregnancy test on there as well. Now I'm 99.99% sure I'm not pregnant and although I knew it was down on the referral form, I didn't think the nurse doing the blood test would say anything about the particular tests on the form. My father said he'd show me where the blood test place was but then when we got there he came in with me...can we all see where this is going? I didn't particularly want him there but I couldn't say that, so in he came. The place they were doing it was basically just a big room with two nurses in it and they did the tests around a corner so although you were out of sight of the waiting area they could still hear everything that was being said, especially as there was only one other man there getting a test. When I went for my blood test the nurse looked at the referral form and then said out loud with no effort to be discreet, "Oh, you're having a pregnancy test?" I was silent because I was panicking and she continued, still making no effort to be discreet, "Do you know if you're pregnant?" I just shook my head because I was too horrified to speak, and she goes, "You don't know?" (because that's what a person normally means when they shake their head, isn't it?) Finally I had to say emphatically and loudly, "I'm not pregnant", but I'm sure that sounded really convincing...

I just can't believe she would talk about something like, not just when she had already seen I was with a man who it was very likely was my father, but when there were the other nurse and man sitting right next to us! Even if my father hadn't have been there, I wouldn't have wanted her to talk about something like that in front of strangers! It would have been different if we'd been in a private room, but we weren't. FFS, whatever happened to patient confidentiality?!

I had an appointment with my hematologist yesterday. While I was waiting for the nurse in the waiting room, I saw this little girl with cancer, she had to carry on IV with her and I could see what I think were tubes inside of her head. You complain about your own issues, and then get a reality check that some people are so worse off.

Oky, the new YouTube layout really stinks.!!!

Huge exam tomorrow. I'm SO nervous, and to think that I have only 6 hours to sleep and about one and a half to study... GOSH, DARN IT!

Phoebe: Oh I know! Ugh. One of the last times I went to the doctor for headaches and nausea I was getting from stress, I had to have a blood test. I was not even 17 at the time and asked whether or not I may be pregnant. I specifically said NO, um I'm still a virgin! but they tested me for pregnancy anyway, and the nurses were asking me if I knew whether or not I was pregnant, in front of my step-dad and other patients. That bugs me so much.

I do not want a quiet weekend. And math class was so very annoying today, teacher kept asking me questions, I was a little overwhelmed and felt very uncomfortable.

I can't focus on my homework.

I want a cat.

So do I. In fact I pretty much want every cat I see.

I never thought in a million years I would say this, but I find myself saying it: I want my period. I just don't want to be hormonal bitchface on Christmas. If I am, I will cry!

Saying this makes me sound like a spoiled kid, but I might not be getting a Kindle for Christmas. It's not that I don't get the shiny new toy I wanted, it's that most of the (rather long) texts I need to read for school are only available in digital format (we have a tiny library), and reading them on my laptop is really uncomfortable, and my eyesight is getting worse by the day.

I've got two psycho cats. Ask me on a bad day, you can have one or both...

Drink drivers ... grr!

My o/h just got home at nearly 3:30am after going to pick up one of his best friends. The guy he was in the car with got pulled over and arrested for drink driving... how in hell could you be so inconsiderate and stupid!? and Larry, WTH do you think you're doing getting in the car with this idiot?? You two are SO lucky that the cops got him off the road and that you're both safe, as is the general public.

/End vent.

Trivial Vent: My mom told me we might not be baking any cookies for Christmas! D: That ruined my month...

GIMME!!!!!!!

While I was getting back from the birthday party, my friend was sitting on my lap in the car and she literally crushed my lungs with her butt. It's so hard to breathe now *hard sigh*

My mum just doesn't understand the term 'holidays'. I've had a really busy week and I just want to relax tomorrow, but we have to go to a fitting, then go shopping, go for lunch with an old friend of hers, and then on Tuesday we're going to the coast for the whole day before I go to a party that night. I'd much rather she let me chill out tomorrow than forced me out the door at 8:30.

Huge zit on my chin, please go away. Please. Please, please, please. I'm already a self-conscious enough person without having to worry people are staring at this huge angry thing on my face.

Sun makes me so damn lazy. It should be the other way around, but whatever. I currently feel horribly lazy and I'm in no mood to leave the house today, even though I have to.

I don't really want to go back to uni. Everyone I love is right here at home.

So I had a dream that I was being held captive by a serial killer. You know the creepiest part?

It was Fred.

The format and content of my finals all suggest that they'll be relatively easy. As such, I've studied as much as I can, but how do you study for humanities courses other than review the prevalent topics of discussion? I feel like I'm pretty much set, but on the other hand, I feel like I should be doing more.

Ugh, my boyfriend and his sisters are just having a jolly time laughing at American stereotypes, and not laughing at them but with them. It really bothers me how everyone thinks Americans are fat pigs chillin' in the barnyard eating slop all day. The next time I go out of the States, I'll be sure to bring my pig nose, with a sign reading "I'm from America, Land of the Free and Home of the Oinks".

EVERYWHERE is having buy one get one free TS3 deals this past week. And I can't take part because we have to save for moving. Oh my bleh, this is annoying. It'd be $40 less I'd have to work foooor

You know you're going to flunk an exam when you get the date wrong on the cover before the exam's even started. 4 down, 3 to go. I cannot wait for them to be over tomorrow, but I just checked my email and the exams have been moved to a different building tomorrow and now start at 11am which is just going to prolong the whole experience. And thanks a lot for sending the email telling us you've moved the place and changed the starting time at 9.50pm, 12 hours before the exam is supposed to start.

I get sick of my boyfriend expecting me to wait on him. I changed my flight for tomorrow, and I will surely leave him behind if I have to. And then he has the audacity to catch an attitude with me, he pms more than any woman I know.

I love my neighbors, but sometimes I really hate dorm life. I found a huge clump of dark hair in the drain of one of the showers today; however, there's no way of pinpointing who it was, seeing as everyone on the floor has dark hair but me. Is it so hard to wash your hair down the drain when you're finished? I always do, and I don't even have dark hair, which is far more apparent than blonde hair. I never knew that girls could be so disgusting.

My day is ruined. I should be in Indiana right now, but my boyfriend is such an ass, and now apparently he doesn't want to come with me anymore, for whatever reason. I just hate how he can never make up his mind. We can be such polar opposites at times, it's ridiculous.



That's gross. You should get a poster board or something on the door that says, "NOTICE: ANYONE WHO FAILS TO CLEAN THEIR NASTY HAIR OUT OF THE SHOWER WILL BE DROWNED".

I just feel mad at everyone for no reason whatsoever. I just feel like going "HANNAH SMASH!!! HANNAH DESTROY!!!!" The only reason I'm not is because I don't want to be taken to an insane asylum, even though I probably should.

THIS:
Dad: Lying and malice are SINS!
Me: It's absurd...
Dad: IT'S WRITTEN IN THE BIBLE!
Me: So?
Dad: So it's true!!! Why do you hate religion? *rageragerage*

This sucks. I suck. Today was sorta crappy.

I'll probably get banned for talking back to a moderator, but I don't take lightly to rudeness at all, no matter who it's coming from.

That thing where you're dreading something so much that you feel almost sick with it?

My roommate is incredibly nice to me, but she can be extremely rude to other people, and I'm afraid I'll just be considered guilty by association. Today she sent a really nasty e-mail to one of our classmates. I told her not to do it and that it wasn't worth it, but she sent it anyway, and now she's complaining that I'm making her feel guilty. I just wish she would make an effort to get along with people.

My wretched Lit professor called me down to her office today to accuse me of plagiarism on the grounds that, because I scored a 92% on my latest paper and an 88% on the last one, I must have cheated. She whited out some of the words on my latest paper and asked me to fill in the blanks; unsurprisingly to me, I chose all of the same words that I did the first time. She told me that all of her fears were allayed because of that and that she was very sorry we had to have the conversation, but I resent the insinuation that improvement means I cheated. And 4% improvement, at that; it's not like it was a huge jump.

Standing up for yourself shouldn't get you banned. Seriously.

Shouldn't being the operative word here. You never know with people in any sort of power or 'power'.

I fell in love with a song (not literally): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmAZoexenx8
I'm trying to learn it in the piano, it's quite hard, but It'll never be unpleasant. I could play one short part yestarday and I was soo happy! :D

Only my mother would be all the way in Ireland yelling at me. She called me at 2 AM, YES 2 AM! My cell battery was low and I was so tired when I got to my sisters house I just collapsed on the bed and didn't think about charging it.

So she calls me at 2 AM I answer the phone and she starts yelling in my ear about missing my flight on Monday. Are you kidding me? So she's bitching and my cell phone turned off. Then she calls my sisters phone and yells at me for hanging up on her. I then had to inform her that even though it's daylight in Ireland, it was 2 AM here and I was really tired and to postpone her bitching for later in the day and the ferocious beast finally hangs up. Not that it mattered considering I couldn't get back to sleep.

My thing is, she's all the way in Ireland, how did she even know I missed it? My mother ALWAYS makes a big deal out of things like this, she was yelling on Monday because I had waited until the last minute to book my flight, when in actuality I had booked it for that morning and my boyfriend decided to play Jackass Advocate. When I missed the flight I told my sisters if mom called to cover up the fact that I had missed it and pretend I was already in Indiana, but the only way she could have known is if one of them told her because they're the only two who knew. Either way she still could have been mindful and not have called me at 2 AM. I'm assuming she forgot that there's a difference in timezone between California and Indiana and while it was 11 PM in Cal, it was 2 AM here. My mom literally annoys the hell out of me sometimes.



Creeper and Geah, it was in a Sims 3 Contest thread, I asked if we were allowed to use pay content because if not I'd have to remove myself from the contest because I mostly only have pay content, and an 'administrator' replies with the above message. Whether it was a moderator, admin or not, I still feel like it was uncalled for and told her to keep her remarks to herself.

I'm having serious second thoughts about something and I'm not sure what to do about it. I feel as if it's too late to change my mind even though really it shouldn't be too late at all.

On a separate note, apparently I have to repeat the blood tests I had last week. They took two vials last week, why do they need to do it again? Ugh, I'm in such a bad mood now.

I'm so confused, I feel like I'm dealing with two different people, it's not cool.

This is stupid, but I accidentally installed around 30 high-cc lots into my Maxis Match game T_T

FUCK IT WAS JUST BEGINNING TO BE FUN TO NOT HAVE CC

Today marks one year since my childhood best friend committed suicide.

My mom wants me to write something on her FB wall, I don't really see the point. And I find "talking" to a dead person really weird.

We were suppose to be on the way to Indianapolis an hour ago, and my sister and boyfriend left without telling me and have yet to get back. And I am bored out of my mind! EERRGGH! ADRIENNE BORED, ADRIENNE SMASH!!

I know, I saw the thread.

Of COURSE I had another fight with my ex best friend, and this time, I'm NOT going to apologize or anything else. This time, I don't care anymore. Why did I have a fight? Because I politely rejected her offer to be her girlfriend, clearly stating that I'm not homosexual. How was I insulting? I don't get it. But, as I said, I don't care anymore. I had too much trouble dealing with this a month ago, I don't want her messing around with me. I love her as a friend, but it can't go past this border, plain and simple. Whether she wants to understand that or not, it isn't my problem anymore. I'm sick of giving fucks around for everyone and not getting anything else than being disrespected by them.

I am not okay with unnecessary rudeness. It's so not alright.

Girls, if you don't mind, I'd have a question to you, I'd like to see your point of wiews in your answers. Christmas is the holiday of love, and according to it I won't give presents just only for my family, I decided to gift my friends also. I want to create each of them a small album, but it wouldn't contain photos, but some cardboards with quotes on it. In some cardboards there might would be pictures and figures or small decorates. The quotes would be about friendship and some nice wisdoms about life. There is one boy among my good friends, and he's a few years older than me (don't get me wrong, he's normal). So I want to ask that is this kind of gift "unboyish", or does it sound strange that a person who is younger than you is writing about wise thoughts? I don't want to get him in an awkward situation by giving a gift what is not the sort of he'd like. Thank you for the answers in advanced!

3 tests tomorrow and two of them are the subjects I'm worst at. Doomed.

I have 2 huge grammar tests tomorrow. Bloody hell.

Oh, poor you. I can just help with wishing you good luck... So good luck!

I hate when you say something and then all you want to do is to take it back or press rewind.

Personally, I'd love a gift like that. Admittedly, I'm a 17 year old girl, so I imagine the situation differs quite a bit, but handmade gifts, particularly the ones with a lot of thought and love put into them, tend to be accepted well by everyone, regardless of age. I say go for it!

I'm convinced that when my boyfriend's mother passed away last March she took his humanity with her. I feel like he's using me as a personal punching bag He has broken us up so many times this year and other times when we are together he's their one day and then the next it's like he just doesn't want to deal with me. He leaves when he wants and comes back when he wants, and he doesn't do that to any of his family or friends, only me.

His temper is really explosive, he's never been that way before, and this only started happening recently. He was suppose to go with me to Indiana to visit my sister, and never showed up to my house, I took a flight the next day and he literally called me every other hour to "check up on me" as he says. When I got back he kept asking me if I was seeing someone up their and when I say no he goes "it's okay if you are, just tell me." Really? We've been together for 2 years and I have NEVER cheated on him, maybe one innocent flirt but we were having issues around that time anyway. And when we're around my family or our friends he ALWAYS seems to go out of his way to say something and make me look stupid or feel bad. He's even gotten so comfortable with it to the point where he'll say my shorts are too tight or put on a jacket, even when it's nowhere near cold out.

He needs help, I've told him and I can't keep telling him and neither can I continue giving out all of this energy. I've used so much of my energy trying to help him with his emotional baggage and then deal with all of my own issues. When I told him I was rejecting the bone marrow transplant, he was sipping on a Sierra Mist and nonchalantly goes,

"If you reject it that's your issue, you do things for attention and then expect me to be concerned, it's stupid" It's comments like that which really annoys me. Why on Earth, Heaven or Hell would I reject a major surgery just for his McAsshole attention?

I just feel as if we should take some time apart to breathe and then think about how we feel about each other afterwards, because I cannot live with anymore of his attitude at all.