"Why are you doing a hard sell on a 15 simolean magazine?? The customer's resisting.... Aaaand there's the red star."

"Ok, go naked in front of your girlfriend parents. I'm not gonna stop you anymore.."

"And this is why I'm a cat person." -- Me, after watching my self-sim getting chased by a dog.

Mine get double pay: what they get for working, plus what would've been their maternity leave pay, but they loose the vacation day. So that works out well for my poor and fortune sims. If they could save the days off for after the baby's born, that'd be even better, though.

*looks at Sim State Campus Lounge*
*tilts head*
"I just don't get it..."

"You were suposed to be a salary man, working hard at your office desk. WHY do you want to become a famous cheff?"

"IT WAS JUST A PRANK, BRO!" (My simself pranked her brother.)

Throw the baby... toss the baby... c'mon THROW THE BABY!!

(Whenever a baby is giving me trouble aging up. I had trouble with a set of twins today, so I probably spent half an hour muttering that under my breath!)

"i didn't plan on sleeping" - My friend, after I showed him this screenshot:

I have a list of things I've said over time whenever my Simsona's yellow-head lover has done things to astonish me. I won't be able to remember all of them exactly - just the major events I can recall more easily.

"Frank....Frank!" - He was gossiping to my Servo on how Andrea (my Simsona) was no longer best friends with William cuz he cheated on her. This was awhile back on another neighborhood.

"You're gonna teleport again..." - Andrea and Frank were in the middle of a classic dance, and when the Sims That Be coaxed him back home, he zipped a few feet away from her before they were fully done.

"Um, where did he go?" - Another scenario with the classic dance, except the dance lasted longer that when Frank finally moved he zipped close enough to the portal to vanish in a flash.

"Geez luezz, Frank." - I've said this every time he made a strange noise, like moaning during make out on the couch or smooching Andrea unexpectedly.

"Oh, full of nev." - His famous last words during a Kiss Up Arm interaction.

"Aww, don't go, Frank." - I've said this numerous times to William as well, whenever they have to leave the community lot.

"Oh, okay, that was short!" - That quote dripped with sarcasm. When Frank asked Andrea for a classic dance, he ended up leaving the lot as she was getting ready.

"Ooo, the devil is really tempting me." - This was when I accidentally had Andrea leap into Frank's arms right in front of William and Frank's old, original girlfriend, Lisa. This was before I knew about ACR or even CJ's Less Jealousy, and I didn't know at the time that particular hug counted as a romantic interaction. I quit out of that lot prematurely before the slapfest occurred.

"God d*** it, Frank!" - At rare times when Frank performed a rather naughty romantic interaction twice or thrice in a row like Goose.

"What's Catch?" - According to ACR, this is how a Sim receives the "Leap into Arms" interaction. Frank helped me learn that firsthand.

"Can Inteen's risky runaway actually work? I know I have it installed!"

"LILITH BE MY GUINEA PIG."

"You're a college graduate and you haven't even had your first kiss... and you're a romance sim. How did I manage that, again?"

"That omelette sounds crunchy"
"What the hell are you doing? Your wife just put your dead-tired toddler in the cot. Why the hell are you taking him out again? Bugger off!"
"I'm sure you just emptied that bin a few seconds ago..."
"Do as you're told!"
"Get out of the way!"

*stares at Sim State University Student Union*

*drops head in despair*

"Why? Why am I being punished... I just don't understand this lot!"

No, you can't buy a piano. You don't have space for one.
No, you can't dance with somebody now. You are home alone at the moment.
No, you can't have blueberry pie. Get your fat body over to the gym.
No, you can't soak in the hot tub. Start working out!
No, you can't flirt with that stinky green cloud around you. Take a shower!
I am quite ready to start ignoring your wants!!!!

"Oh for [censored], you [censored censored]! Just age up the [censored] baby already!"

I aged up the Ottomas twins in Riverblossom Hills awhile back. David and Grandma Dora had each just arrived home from work. Since I didn't want to bother holding a birthday party for two infants, espcially in this cramped house, I had Samantha and Peter each stand in front of a crib and queued them up one at a time on Pescado's Lot Timer to age up a baby. Sam aged up Sue Anne just fine. I clicked on the Lot Timer to tell Peter to age up Bobbi Jo and he handed her to David. Tried it with David and he handed her back to Peter. Told David to to play videogames in the other room and tried again with Peter. This time he queues up to hand the baby to Dora. [lots of inventive new words from me at this point] Canceled it, sent everybody else out of the room, and tried again, this time with the SimBlender. Peter puts Bobbi Jo back in the crib, and takes her out again to age her up. About bloody time!

"You're pottytrained now, remember - good boy!" As the toddler heads for the pot while I'm reaching for the mouse.

Need to get this on here now before I forget the thing I just said.

"You're gossiping about your wife while she's right there beside you??"

*zooms in closer*

"Oh, wait, you're referring to someone else. My bad!"

"Really, Don? Her incredibly attractive sister that you have 3 bars of attraction wasn't enough, you have to go after the cinnamon roll too?"
"Another MySims plug? Seriously?"
"One day I will decorate my house with evil things."
"And now you're staring at Darren and Candi. What the fuck, Don."

"But why Lemon!? You are a chef and still you burn the macaroni and cheese!!!"

She is slowley killing me..

Once my Sim burned a tv dinner at the highest cooking level. I guess it makes sense if a chef has adapted so much to actually making food as opposed to thawing out frozen food that's already made. The opposite is sadly true from what I learned watching Kitchen Nightmares.

At least chef salads don't burst into flames.

Damn. There is something about the sims who as soon as they receive the highest level of cooking etc, will decrease their daily level of intelligence.
Don't say that! You never know, salad's would actually burn quite easily. It's basiclly grass.

I once managed to set of a smoke detector while boiling hot dogs. I have no idea how.

The thing about burning a meal is, even someone with high cooking points can burn a meal they haven't learned to make yet. If for some reason a sim gets to 10 cooking skill without having learned to make mac and cheese - well, there you go.

In all fairness, there is a huge difference between making macaroni and cheese out of a box and making proper baked macaroni and cheese from scratch, which is presumably what a 10-point cook would be doing. That involves making cheese sauce with real cheese, milk, butter, and a thickener, and as anyone who's stood there stirring and stirring and stirring can tell you, that's a whole different animal than that powdered stuff.

@Peni Griffin
Haha yeah ofcourse. But she have been learning to cook everything. She have her own little bistro so that's why it botter me so much.

"Ouch!"

My Sim woke up with her left arm sticking out of her back instead of the usual place of underneath her left shoulder. She didn't seem too bothered about it as she played her portable video game one-handed, but it made me wince just seeing it.

My mom burned water once, if it makes you feel better, @ihatemandatoryregister

And I can verify that I have a lot more trouble making boxed mac and cheese than I do making from-scratch. (I definitely don't have 10 in the cooking skill, but I probably make mac and cheese at a 10-point level, because I've used that as a base for most of my meals for over a decade now )

@Dawgon ....not even going to ask how.

Anyways, for days after a CC-downloading spree: "Now, why the hell did I download that?"

Honestly, same. I sometimes think "One day I will have use for this." so I keep it.

One time I burnt soup by completely forgetting about it.
And yesterday I burnt milk.

How do you /burn/ water?

"You stupid Sim!"

"Put. The baby. Down. Or I will kill you." (Drives me nuts when they keep trying to force yet another bottle on a baby desperate for a diaper change, or decide to bathe a toddler they literally only let out of her fourth bath of the day two Sim minutes ago.)

"Well, there's no point screaming at me. I can't pull your weeds (or clean your house) for you. That's why I told you to do it."

"Do as you're told!"

"....Why are you rolling a want to go on a date? You're already on a date, you stupid polygon poopyhead."

I'm less of a "Why did I download this?" and more of a "What is THIS now?" and "When did I get THAT?" kind of CC-binger.
Also: "Why are my roofs BRIGHT PURPLE instead of thatch?! What'd I do now?!"

And I'm guessing my mom evaporated enough of the water and burnt the various other stuff that was dissolved in the water? None of us could figure out how she'd managed it, and we were all there, so I dunno... lol

The closest I've ever gotten to burning water is letting the pot boil dry, so yeah.

I may have the only kids in this country who won't eat the box stuff. (But if your kids are going to refuse food, boxed mac and cheese, white bread and American cheese sandwiches, and sugared cereal aren't bad choices to reject!)

I don't think of myself as a ten point cook, but making a roue and adding cheese, or broth, or whatever isn't exactly hard. (Baked Alaska--not even going to attempt. Something with a roue--at least a couple times a week.) Gravy, mac and cheese, alfredo sauce, they're all basically the same thing.

@Sunbee I tried Baked Alaska once with a sim during an Asylum Challenge.

You can imagine how that turned out. I never tried it again.

Once I had two sims woohooing in a hot-tub in the kitchen (there was nowhere else to put it). In the background, you could see a third sim igniting herself trying to make crepes suzette. The firefighters showed up before the cutscene ended.

*hears an independent Sim calling for my help across the lot*

"Oh, for Pete's sake, Ben, I'm busy. Go get your own water."

I don't know why he does that if he's near a sink. His girlfriend needs to stop flirting with him so much. >.<

"Ef you Rags, get off my property!"

"If you don't stop trying to bother that sleeping baby, I will SMITE you and send your grave to a community lot that nobody ever visits!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Don't woohoo in your teenage daughter's bed!"

"Put the plate down. NO, DON'T DO THAT. Put. The. Plate. Dow- wait, is that a grey hair? *pauses game* WHOA, IT IS. Now look here you bunch of pixels, I am your sim God. I even have grey hair of wisdom. You better do what I say! *unpauses game* ...Why do I play this game?"

I discovered my first grey hair in the middle of telling a sim to put a plate down. Best first grey hair find. I will forever remember that at 20 years old I found my first grey hair whilst mad at a pixel person not putting a plate down. XD

"Its been awhile since this last happened... Ugh"
-me after I spilled my most disgusting and odorous tea on my keyboard and mouse while playing TS2. Now i cant use my pc until I buy a new one. Goddarnit.
Ahhh~~ oh well...

It may be possible to save the keyboard. It basically involves disassembling the thing and dunking each key into rubbing alcohol; use cotton swabs and rubbing alcohol to get inside the board itself. The important thing is to make sure that it's completely dry before plugging it back in.

I used to work at a place where I was in charge of lending out the spare laptops. One of the accountants caught a lot of (good natured) shit when he had to borrow a spare because he spilled herbal tea on his keyboard (basically because he drank herbal tea instead of coffee lol).

"STOP HAVING FUUUUUUUUUN" - me, after the nth customer started ANOTHER water balloon fight in the front yard of the Tinkers' toy shop

"Wait. Why are you pregnant?" to Akira Kowalski. "You just have twins and your family lives in a house I nicely decorated". Other households can't say so.
She and her husband are on BC though.

"Then why are you buying furniture HERE?"

"Get your head out of the $&#* $&#* flowerbed, you MORON."

In my first hood, my Sims loved shoving their faces into cactus. I told this to my friends and now we often use the term 'cactus-sniffer' as a (joking) insult.

"What were the odds of that happening!?" *followed by clapping and laughing*

As my Simsona was coming out of her niche to revitalize Maxwell Mayfield, I thought to myself, "What are the odds his son will show up?" After giving him the boost, I also had her to clean up the burgers that grew moldy on the bar counter...and that's when William appeared. I'm pretty sure it was just luck with RNG choosing him to replace the most recent Sim who left the lot, right as my Sim was out in the open like that.

"Well, my computer isn't on fire yet. Better add more CC!"

"Oh, hell, I made the wrong Sim fat..."

I wanted to cast the Corpus Fleshicus on William for giggles (I was going to make him fit again), but even with all these Sims' new looks, I still confused him for his father and swelled him up instead. Back to Corpus Athleticus for you!

"I am one messed up simmer. Chandler, please don't get pregnant."

Jay Bush is my neighborhood's mad scientist. He currently has his boyfriend, Chandler, locked up in a secret part of his lab. His three kids from his previous marriage (Jay is a widower) have no idea he's on the lot. Poor Jay never got over Felix's death (even if it was of old age...).

"Timmy, could you not?"

"Bertha doesn't like you. Why do you try to play red hands with her?"

"Timmmmaaayyyy! No! Nee! Nein! Non! Niet!" (He started a fire that spread. He's ok though, his eyebrows didn't make it)

"dogs getting pensions" - my friend, after I showed him this screenshot:

"Where are your priorities?" --My friend, to his sims, who are tired, hungry, stinking, and need to pee at 2 am on a schoolnight.

"Where are YOUR priorities?" --Me, to my friend, pointing out that their poorly-managed needs are his fault and his alone.

Ah, bless him. He's still learning.

"Nobody cares about your tears, jackass, get outta my house!"
To the cow mascot. He'd shown up at the same time as Wilde Hart's family on the day I decided to have Wilde invite his fiancee Davine Newson and his mother, brother, and sister-in-law over all at once to get to know each other better. From the moment the cow showed up Wilde was chasing him all over the lot trying to kick him out and Jason-the-Cow kept evading him. Finally he forced a flirt on Erika, the sister-in-law (who just got pregnant and married this rotation). She rejected him and Cole, the brother, ran over to punch him. So Jason starts crying. Cue the sound of the world's smallest violin...at least that made him stand still long enough for Wilde to boot him out. And when Wilde influenced Erika to Appreciate Cole, she gave him a backrub, which he accepted. So maybe all is well...Except, of course, that now Mom and Wilde are furious with Erika, guiltless though she is!

"No, you pee HERE."

"Oh god. Ghost sister. No. Go home." To my sims dead sis who keeps coming out to reenact her death and be annoying if you don't mourn her every hour of the day....

"What are you doing?!" to a Sim who decided there was nowhere to put the bottle for his starving toddler so takes it downstairs to put in the bin.

"Why are you in ther--I set the toilet for sale, didn't I."

"For heaven's sake, THINK OF THE BABY!"

My sim is practicing his skills on the cash register, but he's pregnant. The drawer keeps smacking him in the stomach. I pity this poor kid and he hasn't even been born yet.

ihate's friend: c
ihate's friend: communism
ihate: blame pescado for that
ihate's friend: communist toilet
ihate: business runs you
ihate: toilet flushes you?
ihate's friend: shit takes you
ihate: sir
ihate's friend: but that's soviet russia
ihate's friend: for a communist toilet, everyone must have to take an equal shit
ihate: i'll have my capitalist toilets thank you very much
ihate's friend: so both the baby and the 35 year old take identical sized shits and this is weird
ihate's friend: this is what your silly games do to me
ihate: sir

Lately..."Vooooo gerbits!"
I have a love hate relationship with that cheer, after hearing it so much, but it's so catchy lol

"Darling, this is your intervention." I'm getting a little worried about Love thy being on the exercise bike all the time. Surely some sims are drawn to certain things they enjoy, but I haven't seen that level of obsession before.

"I'm going to wait for a bit for Adrian to have his first baby, Gen A are still toddlers."

"Okay, thanks ACR, now he's pregnant." Gives birth during father's birthday. "Okay, interesting timing." Turns to another sim and sees TFB popup for Adrian and his husband Paul. "Seriously, you just gave birth!" Hears chimes. "Well, there goes that idea. At least the toddlers are kids now."

Damn sims!

*Simsona casts chicken spell on herself in front of her lovers*

"Okay, I expect quadruple minuses out of this."

*Results came back positive from both men*

"What?!"

*laughs hysterically, then William starts his own laughing spell*

"What a way to rub salt on the wound, dude."

Edit: Oh, wait. I just found out I DID get quadruple minuses from that outcome. The positive points before came from the two playing Red Hands during the shenanigan.

Me talking to my fiance: "Look at my cute little sims family. They look so happy" (Made of dad, mom, and child)

-Seconds later-
*Sends dad to telescope*
*Sends mom to burn leaves out of garden*
*Sends child to bed*

*Dad gets abducted by aliens*
*Mom's fire becomes uncontrollable and dies*
*Child is taken away by social services because no parents are around*

Me to my fiance: "So I accidentally destroyed that cute sims family..."

After I changed the settings of the triplets and quads mod for Candace Campelle and clicked on "random"
- Oh, great. Twins...
- Hum, nope. Triplets!
Armen, Candace's husband rolled the "have 10 kids" want.
- Hum. No way.

Look at them carefully: "hum can't tell if two of them are red haired or not".
- "Oh that one has golden eyes!". I'm overjoyed.

Check the NH census. "How come do I have 175 playables!"

Today alone I said

Go to your final exam you dingbat! (I saw she was going and then something stopped her when I wasn't looking and thankfully I realized in time)
You were supposed to go to the bathroom first! Oh..NOW someone is in that stall
Really..you don't need to run
Why do you want to argue?...fine
No you wanted to argue you are going to argue (she couldn't wait for him to be done darts...)
Wow...I think you LIKE being annoying
I'm guessing you *really* wanted that lunch meat sandwich
No! Don't eat that!....ewww (I noticed pizza behind sim on counter had gone bad right when a sim that had taken a piece of it was going to eat it...I was too late)
Or not..you could decide to visit campus instead

I will preface these words by saying my sister is visiting and playing my sims again. She was playing the 'Randy' clan, a family she made that lives in a trailer and then had pop out 6 children with underbites, all with some kind of 'Rand' derivatives in their names.

Anyway it was Randy's Birthday today and the following convo happened:

Her: "I just want to say, I haven't done anything and this party is already at 'good time'

Me: *disgruntled* "WTF, there's isn't even anything to do at Randy's place!"

Her: *Zooms in* "...Well there's some grilled cheese..."

Then a minute later at the party I notice Randy's son, Randy Jr, outside playing with a random cat and ask, "Is his son fat??"

Her: "Yeah, must have been the grilled cheese..."

When all the neighbours try to crowed a bathroom... Me - "For cryin' out loud! why don't you just start an old-fashioned line instead of barging in? his isn't your house you know? how rude...".

When they keep putting their plate down on the floor instead of going straight to the sink to wash it...
Me - "What is wrong with you? why are you putting it on the floor? jesus christ almighty! why do i have to keep telling you? your just going to stand there after putting it down and then pick it up again and wash it anyway, why do that when you can wash it straight away?" (not all sims do this but those that do annoy me badly, i don't want plates all over the floor). Same for coffee cups, what's the point of putting them on a coffee table where i have to then click it to make them wash it?.

When a toddler keeps playing with the toilet...
Me - "Stop playing with the toilet! i'm not giving you another bath and your going to get the floor all wet"

I talk to them like they are really here as real people and i say things to myself like "Aww... there! you look bootyfull", "Okie, time for bath time! your all smelly", "Quick! go to the toilet before you pee yourself!", "Quick! feed the baby before the social comes!", "Why aren't you in bed yet?", "hurry up! your going to be late!", i get super engaged in it haha.

*hovers cursor over Frank's icon to see he wants to do a pillow fight with Andrea*

"Oh, come on, Frank, not another pillow fight." >.<

While watching them go at it, I clicked on his icon to cancel the event.

"Shoot, it's like William might as well get my Sim involved in a water balloon fight right now." (This was as Frank and Andrea were getting done.)

A second later, a red water balloon appears on William's hand as he reveals an evil smirk.

"You gotta be kidding me..."

"Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh!"

Playing Akira Granville-Carver's household.

She's pregnant with 1 baby. She gave birth to a baby girl: "Yeeeeessssss!"
The baby girl is green-skinned: "Noooooooo!"

ihate's friend: also is it me or does ts2 have strangely anime-inspired eyes
ihate: yeah
ihate's friend: sugoi
ihate: i have default eye replacements so it doesn't look as bad
ihate: but the replacements look odd with plain maxis skins
ihate's friend: yeah
ihate: so i have to find another replacement for the skintones
ihate: and you can see the downward spiral
ihate's friend: [insert snark about the solution being to not play here]

"OMG! Makoto died!" *feels guilty for forgetting townie death*

Honestly, I forgot he died of old age until one of his friend's received some life insurance.

Townies can die of old age?

No unless you use a mod for townies aging.

Yeah. I have a townie aging mod in place. So if they live on an apartment lot or are on a community lot at 6 pm, they age a day.

"Dude, you were BFFs with the burglar and he still stole your television and couch. Don't be all friendly on the phone!"

I know of two mods for this:

AncientHighway's "NPC/Townie Aging"
http://www.simbology.com/smf/index.php?topic=8697.0

Syberspunke's "Grow Up Townies" (this is the one I have in my game)
http://www.moreawesomethanyou.com/s...pic,4842.0.html

I thought perhaps it was some glitch (like the time I had a dormie randomly drown in the floor....not sure what happened there) but in that case it'd be more like "TOWNIES DON'T DIE OF OLD AGE?" rather than "I feel guilty that I forgot he died"

"It was at this moment Heather remembered- She needed a gODDAMN PURPLE SUIT-----"

I have a "Santa" family and I have no idea what triggered the REAL in-game Santa to visit (no cookies out!), but he shows up and leaves my CAS Santa a lump of coal!!! LOL! I literally paused the game, zoomed in, picked it up... set it back down and went. "Damn, even SANTA got coal and he's friends with the whole 'hood. Geez!!!"

For future reference: Make cookies, and make sure there's some left out.

"DAMMIT! How are you pregnant again?!"

"Get the fire extinguisher, don't just watch the oven burn"

"?!&&!:!#" A bunch of "lovely" words

"SEE! Look what you've gone and done. You've dug up so many wholes in your front yard and now you don't want to fill them back up"

When there is a fire burning
"Ok, if you refuse to go to the phone, I'm prepared to let you die..." Then they don't and I'm vaguely disappointed.

"Dang it, Faith! I know you're in sunlight desperation, but would you quit cancelling your queue just to run out to the curb and faint!? I'm trying to get you up to your bedroom. You know, the room that has the sunlamp so you can refill your sunlight need at night?" Poor Faith got autonomously abducted by aliens as I was rounding everyone up for bed and the experience apparently drained what little she had on her needs bar, leaving her in the absolute red. Finally had to restore a little via the SimBlender to stop her from rushing outside.

*Sim goes out to splash in a puddle while it's storming*
Me: "You might get electrocuted...but i'm gonna let you do it...if you get electrocuted don't blame me, I warned you"
*Storm ends*
Me: "Dang it! You didn't get electrocuted!"

I swear I love my Sims, honestly I do

*notices a Sim eating a green burger out in the back patio*

"What? Even with the mod I have, you're still willing to eat that?"

*Sim gags at the taste*

"Sigh, you're forbidden from all my toilets the next time you visit my home. I don't wanna clean up that burger."

Even with the disinfectant as my secret weapon, it's still a little frustrating. >.< On the other hand, the one who was eating that burger was also very sloppy, so he could've licked the molding off the plate for all I care.

"YOU'RE A TERRIBLE GUEST!"
- Me, after Gilbert Jacquet woohooed a random townie in Darren Dreamer's bed.

@ihatemandatoryregister: What a dirt bag! Nobody is allowed to have sex in my bed, unless it is with *me*!

GILBERT RUINS EVERYTHING. I've been saying it for months.

Sounds as if some beds are busier than others.

"I have no redeeming qualities- DAMMIT GAME LET ME HAVE THIS."

Nothing wrong with shyness and seriousness.

But you can alter personality points in SimPE and give them an 'unbalanced' personality. I think the Simblender can do it in game too, but I'm too lazy to load it up and check.

Oh, that is perfect for a mad scientist

That sim *could* perhaps have been a bit neater, nicer or more active. But I like them being a bit shy and serious. And I love them very shy and serious! So there's nothing wrong with that personality, @alljoj

He/she will become neater if going into the Science career, since study cleaning is needed. And that can be done sitting on his/her bum

A sim can have ten points in cleaning, and still be a filthy pig who never washes his hands after a visit to the little room. So obviously, learning cleaning doesn't make a sim neater.

It was a selfsim and I pretty much have no highs in sims 2 personalities besides playful which I promptly fixed.

"This is the third death! I DON'T WANT A SHINYTYME COOKTOP, STOP MAKING ME NEED ONE!!!"