"Kicky bag??? Again with the kicky bag? I'll kicky-bag you in the ass if you don't quit with that s***"

"You left the kid on the floor in a pool of its own feces this morning and now you're all affectionate with nooboo???? I hope you're ready to have a serial killer for a son, jackass"

"Oh sick dude, you wanna bang a robot???? I thought you'd be turned on by peeps who OWN robots, not ROBOTS THEMSELVES! Oh sick....wait....can I actually make her bang this servo???" *investigation commences*

"OH MY GOD, THE PENGUIN IS TALKING TO THE SNOWMAN!!! Oh dude, dude, dude......video capture....wait....oh sweet...oh holy god I love this f****** penguin so hard right now!!"

"I went to hell and back installing those paintings and now you don't even LIKE THEM??? Whatever, fine, that's fine jerk-ass, no more nice house for you. Mama's going shopping at the 99 cent store now, beeyotch. Hope you like poverty, you ungrateful bastard, because it's gonna be your best friend now"

"Oh that's great, you wanna hook-up with your fossil father-in-law now?? Gotta get your kicks in before the old man snuffs it? Oh pardon me for not realizing the "Romance Aspiration' meant "I'll bang anything"

"Still fascinated by the rain, huh? Just can't stay away from that g*****mn window?? How about dying? Are you fascinated by that?? Are ya, fella? ARE YA????"

"Wow, I re-hea-heally hate this kid. Like, I really hate this friggin' kid, I don't know why. Dude. I'm not even waiting to see if she turns out pretty, I'm social-workering this demon ASAP"

"(to my simming friend) "You're going to the bathroom? Right now are you thinking you're a sim and someone just put the 'USE' direction in the queue for you? Dude, I totally know you're thinking that"

And of course, the compulsive shouts of "GOOO-SPAGANDOOOO!", timed carefully so I get to say it before the cooking channel sim gets to (and I never get tired of it)

Also, this thread is awesome.

"No no no and no, Ripp! I know you like woohooing but Juliet will have to do for you now! You're on academic probation, dammit!"
"Calm down, just conjure that grilled cheese out of your ass now!"

"Puffy vest? Again? Why do you hate my guys?"

I got some new things i said. These ones will be a bit more... excessive.

-"Well if you´re tired go to bed already and don´t you dare to... faint. OF COURSE! LIE DOWN IN FRONT OF THE STAIRS!"
-"How did you accomplish THAT?!" (I always say that when my sims fail totally)
-"Hey don´t use that kite! It´s a f*bleep* storm out there!" *sim gets struck by lighting* "You got what you deserved you idiot!"
-"So... you expect me to call a maid to clean up the mess you did last night?" *my sim looks at me through the camera* "Dude, don´t do that that´s creepy. Also it´s not like you can boss me around." *I order a maid almost autonomously* "Why the f*bleep* did I do that?"
."So, one of your best friends dies tragically in a fire accident and after 5 minutes you´re over it, but when you see roaches it´s like if you find out that all your friends and your family have been eaten by zombies. I don´t understand you."
-"Why do you want to buy stuff for toddlers and kids when you´re single? Oh no don´t even think about it."
-"Don´t faint on the side of the bed, don´t faint... ugh, you could have atleast fainted on the other side... where your wife didn´t sleep.
-"Okay I let you loose for 10 minutes now, don´t f*bleep* your house up or your family." *10 minutes later* "Okay, why is the kitchen reduced to ash, the living room almost empty and why is the social worker standing on the door?! Can´t I leave you for 1 f*bleep* second?! Good thing I... saved... of course I did. F*bleep* THIS! I´M OUT!"

So that´s what I said the past days on Sims 2. I lose more and more the faith in my sims.

After seeing a sim scold theier pet and one of my RL cats jumps up on my desk:
"FIE! GARFUR! MOSTOVESTO!"

After a somewhat unfortunately-named plot was the first place in 3 years to suffer from lot corruption:

"Why oh why did I have to call a house Finagle Land?!?"

(Finagle being a reference to Finagle's Law - the one that says "Anything that can go wrong, will, normally in the worst way possible".

Finagle? That's Murphy's Law.

Finagle's Law is a corollary to Murphy's Law
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finagle%27s_law

"No. No... Stop it. Stop it. STOP IT!" Me, trying to make all the sims in the household stop harassing the new baby. What a queuestomper, I swear. >_<

stop looking at the camera!

Stop holiding the freaking baby, can't you see he/she is TRYING to sleep!

Stop whining about needed a shower when you are heading towards the shower, gosh

(When a townie does something obnoxious)
Oh no you did not. Say goodbye cause your mofo ass is dead!
Nighty-night, beyotch!
And yeah, I'm kicking your gravestone before I send it to the cemetery.

- Kiss the damn maid NOW. Your wife has arrived!!

- I really hate you, cow.

Is that - whoa - Ruby, you just ventrilofarted a burgler!

You leave that child alone. He only needs one person to put him to bed.

Is that any way to talk to your boyfriend's father?

"If you don't want the baby to cry in your arms, then change it's diaper!"
I hate it when Sims do this!

"Oh hell no, I am not playing University all over again!"

This is after my semester meter reset itself to freshman year.

Talk to who? At 3.30 a.m?? You're kidding...

Would you mind stop playing piano and take care of the baby, pleeeeeeeease?

I said "I wish our life would be like the sims, getting job by just reading a newspaper and using the computer, Yes I want a car, CTRL+SHIFT+C, motherlode, zooooooom a new car. Sims life rocks."

WOW he IS gorgeus! Picture!Picture!Picture!

StopStopStopStopStop-where-u-are!

Last night, I had taught two toddlers how to walk about a sim day before they aged up, and upon aging up, they would not walk anywhere. Just run.

"WHY ARE YOU RUNNING? IS THERE A FIRE AGAIN? I THOUGHT I GAVE DAFF ENOUGH COOKING SKILLS? GOOD GOSH, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST WALK UNTIL I FIGURE OUT THE PROBLEM? WHAT THE EFF IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

My language was much more colorful, though.

Again, really? How hard is this for you to do. Have a [boy/girl] already so I don't have to keep quitting without saving! Again, really? I wish this was as easy to control as in the Sims 3.

That is when my Sim keeps having the opposite gender baby than when I plan, see I have a certain order in mind for certain Sims at certain times. I kind of, like you know have plans and plots for my Sims. I usually end up filling the name with a profanity before quitting back to neighborhood view in hope of the Sim having the intended gender of baby. To get the two boys born in my game last night I had to enter the same lot no less than a dozen times.

I just know it when the Sim I want to have a girl is going to have a boy six times before I load a girl. It always happens that way; I know it is more realistic to not have control over the gender of the baby as opposed to Sims 3 but I have plots for my Sims that require certain things to happen at certain times.

I also usually yell at the for blogging for hours on end while their needs teeter down to the red zones.

Get off the computer already, or you will die and your baby will die. I have a certain mod that involves miscarriages if needs get too low, sooo...

Perhaps it's time to consider sex change operations for your babies?

"Go away stupid llama, it's creepy having you cheer next to somebody sleeping"

And that is why I've started locking my sims' bedrooms at uni.

"Stop stuffing your stupid face and cook a proper meal, damn you!"

"You set the stove on fire AGAIN? And I thought I sucked at cooking." (after the same sim set the stove on fire several times during a play session)

"Stop staring out the window like a moron and find something productive to do!"

"Don't touch that telescope, do you want to be slapped by an angry old man?"

"No you can't have a garden plot or an orchard tree, you're about to graduate anyway."

"what the hell!" (when my Sims all screamed at one of my sims last night after he cast spell as if to say ahhh demon)
"no no nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" when it crashes
Random swear words
"come on aliens take my offering of this fat man sim he may not be very useful but at least you will show up" alien summoning takes forever.

"sandals with socks... REALLY EAxis?"

"sorry but no" /any want they have that I won't grant

"grandma thinks she's an art critic" /my elders become obsessed with looking at sim-created paintings
usually followed by "wow harsh" because they always boo

"Really? Really? Now you w--now she wants a baby! Really? Seriously? You couldnt've....aaugh..."

A sim of mine had a "have baby" fear (and a family sim at that!). So having triplets sent her right into aspiration failure. And you know what wants she rolls later during breakfast? Have Baby, Have Ten Kids.

(I was hoping this thread would make a comeback!)