"Are you sure you're in the right profession?" - a Sim in my neighbourhood's technophobic monastery has 4 wants: Buy Computer Worth Over $2000, Buy TV, Buy Game Worth Over $5000 (the only one fitting the bill in my game being a bowling alley with bright lights), Buy Fire Alarm (also, the monastery has no spare money...)

"Dream on!" A Sim wants to go on holiday to a mountain destination that doesn't currently exist

"That's unusual!" Another Sim wants to see a ghost of a fellow dormie. Unusual because said dormie was a) friends and b) already dead at the time (usually only bitter enemies seem to get that want in my game...)

"I am not buying a car so stop rolling that want" when they roll wants to buy a car for a vacation home. I've had too many Sims get stuck in their cars returning to the vacation home to give them one.

"(censored) will you grow up already!" I hate when babies refuse to grow up for a certain adult and then end not growing up until after midnight for the other adult that gets home late from work.

I say a lot of "Get out of the way why are you in the way!" when a sims not suppose to be there for instance the bathroom
"Why does everyone has to go to the bathroom at the same time"
"PUT MY BABY DOWN"
"LEAVE THE BABY ALONE ITS SLEEPING"

Why are you picking the baby up? You want to hold him while he fills his diapers, but then continue to JUST STAND THERE while he screams!?
When I tell you NOT to make the bed why do you do it anyway?
Stop it! Stop! No stop it. STOP IT! stop it stop it stop it DAMNATION
You caused your super neat, serious child to pee himself because you were every so slightly dirty & I told you to wash your hands in the kitchen sink but NOOOOO you had to take a bubble bath you soapy whore you're having quads!
You're not minding; you never listen to me. You will all PAY!
And bedtime - what a stupid nightmare! By the time I've had everyone pee and get in the right bed it's 3am.. I thought there was a hack to make every one go to bed but can't find.

"Oh... d**n. And noooo! No no no no! I don't want you guys to have more kids!" (when playing the Burb family and John got alien abducted just as I about ready to send Lucy to college)

"Jennifer, stop poking your husband! He didn't cheat on you! At least I don't think he did..." After John first started showing signs of the alien baby, Jennifer went and poked him. I have a mod that makes a sim's spouse know it's not their child if certain criteria is met (never woohoo'ed, high logic, etc) and they get mad at the offending parties.

The things I scream at my sims are not very appropriate, ya feel?
Most of the time I just stare blankly and say, "Seriously?"
Other times I start angrily mumbling curse words at my sims.

I wish I could play </3

LOL, that's not fair. I'm sure he didn't ask to be abducted and 'probed'. XD

I'm not really the type of crazy to say things out loud to myself (I'm a different kind of crazy) but I do say a lot of things in my head whilst giving the proper facial expression. Some things that pop up more times than it should;

"Send home nanny."
"No, don't chat, send her home."
"I TOLD YOU TO SEND HER AWAY!"
"I guess playing in the bathtub is the reasonable thing to do for an elderly."
"So after work, I sent you to clean the kitchen, have a bath, make dinner and feed the cat. I suppose looking at the rain and forgetting all that is way more important. Also the cat is dying."
"Yeah. Haha. No. You're not doing that."
"And here I thought you could take care of yourself for 5 seconds but instead you're dying at the piano."
"Oh and you decided to perform while you're at it. Great. You live alone."

I'm a control freak in sims gameplay so there's a lot more painful moments that I can't think of right now.

"Get out now before she comes in! Come on, move! Move! Oh, drat. I really have to remodel that restroom."

"Mommy and daddy are busy making you a new sibling, they'll cheer for your A+ later."
"This bathroom is occupied, ladies and gents. That means, "Get the eff OUT!"
"I couldn't care less that you haven't had fun in a week, go to work and suck it up."
"This flu really is the plague in disguise."
"I've been buildin' on the Sims, 2, All the live long day! Yes, I've been buildin' on the Sims, 2, just to pass the time away. Don'cha hear the world callin'? Rise up so early in the morn'? Don't you hear your boss-a callin'? "Get your ass to work!"

"Was I talking to a wall?!" Said this recently when a sim got didn't do what I ask them to do.

"Fuck me!.... really?"

I love this game and the unexpected stuff that still happens after all these years.

"I think you need to see a doctor". Said after yet another Sim does an anatomically-impossible massage. Most recent variation I've seen involves having one arm go through the other arm (and body) while massaging the boyfriend's left shoulder only. Boyfriend didn't seem to care.

Bipolar Sim much? Mood-swings?

Now, if I were to repeat the litany of "colorful" words I'd say when I get the lovely 'The game has terminated. The application has crashed' message I'd make even MattShizzle blush if he was still around this forum, and probably break a few rules of conduct.

My mom is usually sitting by me when I play The Sims, since my laptop is in the dining room. I have ACR, and my Sims are always banging. D:

1. "Stop banging already! You already have three kids!"
2. "I need a boy dog to make puppies."
3. "I must have all the babies!"
4. "I will ruin your lives."
5. "Stop *%#$S staring at me!"

I routinely curse out my Sims for various infractions, often route-blocking or queue dropping. Most of the things I say to them would not be suitable for mixed company.

Y'all are so tense. I hardly ever swear at them. The cat who insists on walking back and forth in front of the monitor at crucial points is another matter.

"Seriously? That's what you want? Okay, don't blame me when it goes kerflooey."
"Yes, you, who else is there?"
"Okay, honey, go get him! Sorry it took so long."
"No, you don't have to go to class, your bar is full!"
"Don't bother rolling term paper wants. There's no point till you get that last skill. Let's send you to a community lot and see if you can roll a want for that last skill."

"Phew! I didn't accidentally mod that out after all!" - Said after I saw my first burgular in SimHampton since 2006. Montagna Valgomisura may have had a different opinion of the matter, even if the burgular ran away without stealing anything (I have a mod that allows burgulars to be fought, and this one must have though defeating Montagna was sufficiently satisfying without stealing anything as well).

Oh yeah, this. "Can you please get your butt out of my face. Tess! I'm really busy right now. I don't want you on my lap. I can't see the screen ... Will you please go and sleep in the dog bed." XD

As for sim cats. "Will you *censored* stop crying because you can't get on the counter. It's driving me insane! You aren't supposed to be able to get on this counter. Go climb on one of the many other ones that you can sit on and leave this one alone!" I had to put items on all my inaccessible counters to stop the annoyance.

"NO! YOU DO NOT ROLL WANT TO SEE THE GHOST OF DAVID FIN (Sim I made,) BECOME A PLANTSIM (I got seasons a while ago, better add that,) OR MET ONE! I GOT YOU THE ALIEN ABDUCTION ASPRATION BENEFIT. (Knowledge sim duh!)

Charity, be glad I didn't have the coding of pets. I would totally have lobbied for and tried to give them the capacity to jump onto occupied surfaces and knock things to the floor!

Help! I'm downloading and I CAN'T STOP!

"Fine, go ahead and get in the hot-tub...even though you are about to die of starvation."

Stupidity (and lack of food...even though the butler had already prepared a meal) almost cost this Sim their life (had to intervene). Always playing with 'Free Will On', is truly interesting.

I've said the "F-Word" plenty of times.

Also, "Stupid machine!" when something is borked, froze up, or isn't working right (sometimes with the F-Word in the middle)

JUST HAPPENED in my game:

"What the heck?! NO! I clicked on WOOHOO, not TRY FOR BABY! My INTENTIONS were for you and your boyfriend to graduate COLLEGE and have kids AFTERWARDS, since you guys BOTH have the Knowledge aspiration, but NO! You just HAD to get pregnant when you guys were both TEENS! NOOOOO!!!!"

...And what's worse is that I don't even HAVE the "Risky WooHoo" mod Seriously, I'm pretty darn sure I pressed the WooHoo button and not the Try For Baby button! What the heck! :P

*sighs* Oh well, at least "My Biological Clock" (y'know, with inTeenimater) has an option to "End My Pregnancy"

P.S. The Sims I had this happen with are Scout Alvarez and Leigh McDowell.