The house has one of those hoods for the stove that I *thought* functioned as a fire alarm, like one of the other ones I have does, but it turned out to be just a decorative piece. That got corrected really quickly, but only after he bit it... which was probably a merciful death by that point, considering.

As for the doors... huh. That actually might be it, because his brother never uses the front door either. I'll have to swap it out and see if that fixes the fascination with the back door. Thanks for the info!

Edit: It was an interior door. Lesson learned: pay more attention when building.

It's best to get either a fire alarm or a sprinkler, because otherwise your sims' queues will be stomped so they can moth the fire like idiots and get burned.

"Oi! Don't take my baby!!!" (when a random sims comes into the house and steals the baby from the crib.
"Who the hell are you???" (random sim in house again)
"GO AWAY!!! Stop waking up my sims!" (random ghost sim in my house)

This came a couple days ago:

I have MogHughson's Apartments and Shopping mod. It's wonderful, but my sims can be annoying every once in a while.
*Watches sim try to serve food in restaurant instead of the table next to the stove.*

"That's it! You stupid sim! I've had it! I SHALL SMITE YOU! I HAVE THE DOWNLOAD TO DO IT!"

WHY would you come into this room just to turn on the TV/Radio/Play SSX...can't you see that the children are TRYING TO SLEEP?!

No, you may not play loud obnoxious computer games for seven hours.

Wow a freaking teddy bear is in your way, let's stand there and wave our arms about while shouting like a moron instead of stepping around it. -_-

ARE YOU STUPID?! and WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!

I know you two don't get along and you have an X on the lightening bolt but guess what you're marrying him anyway.

Why aren't you going to sleep? Oh there's a radio on in the room.

Since Sims seem to be too stupid to realize another Sim is sleeping, I never put noise making things (computer, TV, radios etc) in bedrooms. Some Sim looking for fun will inevitably turn on the TV/computer game if its in a bedroom and wake up the other Sim because they want fun not caring that the other Sim is asleep. That is also why I edit hotel rooms to remove the TVs because one Sim will be trying to sleep and the other Sim just has to turn on the hotel TV and wake up the sleeping Sim.

What annoys me is that the Sims 3 computer games are much louder than the one in Sims 2.

"Leave the cat alone and get on the bus" Buck Grunt really wanted a kitten so I got it for him, and kept autonomously playing with it when the school bus showed up.

I didn't know the computer woke people up! But I did find out the rat (hamster?) keeps people awake - just like real life! Speaking of which, I thought they could bite sims, even make them sick, but I've never had it happen.

That was TS1. The guinea pig could kill sims. XD

Oh God, that's kinda embarassing... Once I was playing Sims 1, and social worker came to take baby from pretty unfair reasons: baby was taken care of, but was bugged in some way. I was enraged, since my Sims lost work and had to really, really work hard to take care of the baby. No hacks usage not anything would work, so in fit of rage I made my sim "think about fire" with SimWardrobe item and I said out loud...
"B*ch, I will burn alive you and the baby"
My sister heard me. She is making fun of me for saying this to this day.

My most recent :
"Okaaaaaayyyy...."
"You SUCK at running a store! You don't just start jumping rope in the middle of the store when people are trying to shop!"
"Alrighty then..."
"Well, I didn't plan for you to be gay, but why not?"

All of this to the same sim in a new hood where characters from two different book series were thrown together...

"PUT THAT BABY DOWN!"

"Don't you dare eat that moldy spaghetti!"

"Oh my gosh stop crying that Grandma died and just finish your homework."

"Get back inside you nut!"

"Why are you jumping on the bed at a time like this?!"

"The bush is seriously RIGHT THERE! Just trim it! It's not that hard! Walk around the other one!"

"Stop turning on the radio! Your child is napping! Nobody wants to see you dance! IF YOU DO IT ONE MORE TIME I'M SELLING YOUR RADIO!"

"FOUR DAYS! You're becoming elders in FOUR DAYS!! YOU'RE NOT HAVING ANOTHER FREAKIN' BABY!!!"

"WHY'D YOU GET SPRAYED BY A FREAKIN' SKUNK?!"

"Why is the baby outside?"

"Please let that poor baby get some sleep ... You've fed him enough, he's full. PUT HIM DOWN NOW!"
"Look, there's a bed right next to you. You're tired, so be a good sim and go to sleep." *collapses from exhaustion*
"You just had to put that baby down on the floor. In the middle of the nursery. Good. Now everybody's awake and crying. You genius." >.>

"What are you doing?! You're not supposed to play fetch with the stray dogs outside! GET BACK INSIDE AND WATCH TV!!"
"Wow, thank you ACR! Now, my Sims are autonomously caressing and WooHoo-ing on the couch a lot! AND Linda's pregnant!"
"So...Linda prefers to be in her undies while her husband George prefers to be in his everyday wear? The fuck?"

(I just installed ACR...hmm. It could come in handy...I guess...)

Have any of you see Reservoir Dogs or Goodfellas lately? I've cursed more than enough for both of those movies in a stretch of one day of play.

"If it makes you feel better..." Desdemona Capp has a queue item to cough on an lightning-caused fire. Luckily, she was too busy having a coughing fit on the other side of the lot to do the queue action before the fire petered out.

@ Eiszimmer , I usually sound like Calamity Jane in Deadwood when I play. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKEZbgaqJWo

"Leave the baby alone and go to work." Hannah Bell just had to feed the baby (they had a born in game daughter) right when her carpool pulled up. It took several cancels to finally get her to put the baby in the crib and go to the carpool. Issac fed her a little later.

"Argh ACR knock it off" again Hannah Bell almost missed her carpool because she was ACR flirting with Issac.

"Hurry up (censored)" Marcel and Sophia Jocque just had to start ACR woohooing on the couch right when Sophia's carpool pulled up.

"GAHHHH WHY DO MY SIMS KEEP ON HAVING BOYS?!" < - Even when they're adopting; it's insane I tell you

And what makes it worse is that I have soooo many cute little outfits for baby girls and when my Sim has yet another boy it's like, "WELL WHAT'S THE POINT IN HAVING ALL THESE THEN?!" :P

"Awww...they're engaged!"

"Give me a (censored) break game, I'm waiting for the taxi" There wasn't enough room on the Contrary lot to build a driveway so Rick had to wait for the taxi to pick him up for his date with Violet and while I was waiting for the taxi I got the message from the game to hurry up or he would stand Violet up

"Go damnit GO!" when the taxi finally showed up and Rick got in, the Taxi just sat there, I didn't want Rick to stand Violet up. He finally did get downtown and managed not to stand Violet up.

"Work with me here you two" Rick had the want to go steady with Violet which is why I did the date in the first place, but the two teens headed for the chess board instead of letting me have him propose going steady. I had to turn free will off to get them to finally go steady.

Edit to add: I'm having the opposite problem other than one boy, all the born in game children are girls.

.....
 

I play sims over at my friends house, so we decide what the sims do as a group.....and a certain household we usually play..well, its 2 now because of new sims added in......and well, these are ohrases from my friends and me, because we play sims2 as a group....its surprisingly fun, and the weird phrases are:
"STOP LEAVING THE BABY IN FRONT OF THE FRIDGE...."
"Why do all my sims kids have their dads eyecolor..its WEIRD!"
"You want ANOTHER kid?"
"Stop Making out and do something PRODUCTIVE...like paying THE BILLS!"
"WHY ARE YOU (insert sim name) IN YOUR UNDERWEAR?!?!?"
"SOOOO....his lifetime want is *looks at lifetime want*.....TO BECOME A MAD SCIENTIST....*friend burst out laughing*
"STOP MAKING OUT....go do something else"
"DONT DO THAT.....your kid is watching you.....thats not right"
also we had this one sim.....who kept taking care of another sims kid.....we'd yell at the screen because he kept taking care of the kid....and we had some other sims that.....wouldnt leave eachother alone....literally....there was a funny moment when we made the sims we were playing go to college.....there was a sim couple who wanted to woohoo in a tub....there was another sim already IN the hot-tub...we thought he'd get out....he didnt.....so the si -couple woohood...and even in the scene....he was just sitting there...looking unamused while the other two were...well..woohoo-ing....I swear it was creepy and funny at the same time!

I've had the baby thing happen a lot too...only it'd be (insert Nobless character name )...seriously....this one sim kept leaving his kids in front of the fridge...EVERY TIME