Whilst running for the bus in his underpants, Steve tripped over a flamingo which was trying to cross the road.

Boris thought quickly--what would be the best pickup line for that ravishing creature behind him? He could compliment her hat, or her snazzy pantsuit, or he could simply shake his eloquent beard in her direction. He might have better luck at the Steampunk Emporium instead of Curtains & More, but he was going to give it a shot!

Gretchen, Judy, and Agnes agreed that reading suited them better than chatting, lest someone bring up last week's incident...

-------

Mr. Greg, we were just making a little human, that's all.
BECAUSE WE FREAKING NEEDED ONE!!!!
------

Jenny wasn't sure if it was her natural scent, her perfume, or a combination of both that was making her so attractive to the bees. Either way, she was freaking terrified!

Charlene was so busy worrying about what had happened to her eye, that she didn't notice there was also something wrong with her hand.

When someone next to you is judging you for pouring the milk before the cereal - but then you remember you live alone...

These college kids know that embarrassing themselves in a frat or sorority is the only way they'll be able to network themselves into a job once they graduate.

Charlaton: Let me help you with those chips. You won't be needing those anymore. I won!
Woman: I swear I had a pair of fuzzy red cards rather than that blurry one. Why do these same cards come out over and over again?

I WAS ready for my close-up, until someone told me my pretty fore-head curl had come un-done. MAKE UP!
==============

I think my dog needs to see a vet. He's discoloured and he has crabs.

Marco was astonished when a teeny tiny blue man spouted out of his broken tap.

I only pick on people because no one ever asks me to dance.

Nm, found a pic but too slow. XD

Charity!

Here's another image:

++++++++++
As for the stinky tin man...
"I tried a shower once, and my suit rusted. Now I can't take it off. And all I can eat is pizza; I can squish it through the visor. And then I get cheese stuck in my suit..oh well"
opps forgot a pic..too late now!

grammapat!

Another:

"Ah, at last. The cute, unassuming robot's plan has finally come to fruition. What comes next, I hear you ask?"

"Well...wò̦̓͊rl̩͎ͥ̌͗̄͆̓d̞̥̻̮̆ ̯ͬ̇͒̑̏d̃ȏ̳̦̱̓̆̚m͓͖̣͛̅̍͌ï̬̳͎̤̪͛͒nͥ̎̈ḁ̦́͑ͣ͊̄̀ͅt̥͎̝͊̆̆i͙̮̗̰͉̼o̹͇n̰̆́*͕̣̪̗, of course!"

Oh god, there's a rat in there eating my chips. Cannot let my date see this!

Mr Darcy and the Bennet sisters needed psychiatric intervention when they saw that Mr Bingley was serving jelly at the ball.

Ooo! What's in here? Food!! *Jumps head first into food bowl*.

The real meaning of "finger food". As for her living in a place with no ceiling or walls..her shirt says it all.
==========

"Sleep with one eye open? Ha! I'll do one better!"

I'm a plant Sim. A HOT-house plant.
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If I fall asleep what's the worst that could happen? Gravity.

My kitty likes to be clean too.
==========================