"Who the hell died?" after I noticed the gravestone icon above one of my Sims' heads. Turned out the vampire sister of my Legacy heiress had died.

"Did you just steal from me you cheeky little bastard?!" About five minutes ago while running a home business. A sim from another lot, Jere, reached into the freezer display and swiped a piece of chocolate from a CC box set for sale without paying for the box itself, much less the piece he snatched. And yet, he's still one of my favorites in the hood.
"TRIPLETS?! Why is it triplets?! Oh well, at least they're finally all girls." 30 seconds ago, after trying at least 5 times to get an all-girl combo--which were only twins all the other times.

To pregnant Cassandra: "You're hungry AGAIN?! I just fed you! ...Like four hours ago but still..." and while she was sleeping: "You didn't go to the bathroom first? Wow..."

After the 'you invited me over to sleep but didn't let me' or whatever message:
"I didn't invite you to sleep over! I didn't even invite you at all. You were part of the welcome wagon! I dont even think I let you in! You just wondered over during the wedding and had a piece of cake!!"

"HOW THE HELL DO YOU KEEP GETTING IN?! WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?!" Said at one of my elder female sims. She's the mother of four grown children who live together with 2 other roommates on an entirely seperate lot, with all of the doors locked because they have a home business (and half the time the shoppers will just ignore the store to go screw around in the house, or then the former shoppers will go in and causr massive routing problems in an attempt to bogart the computer or something equally stupid, so I just lock them out now), who somehow manages to keep teleporting inside, COMPLETELY AUTONOMOUSLY AND UNINVITED, sometimes at weird times like 1 am. I'll just have my sims doing some random thing, and suddenly there comes Mumy Dearest just strolling by, despite the locked doors! Creepier still, this woman is supposed to be the town's schoolteacher, which is why she's living on a seperate lot.

"I KNOW! I KNOW YOU'RE HUNGRY!" I screamed at my pregnant self sim as I desperately tried to direct her to feed her twin toddlers before the social worker came. It's always either their hunger or hygiene, the parents just cant catch a break. And they cry constantly because they are bored! ;~; At least their baby brother just lies there in silence (although then I have to run to him when the warning pops up.) Thankfully they only have two more days to age up, and I'm sure I can handle just one toddler and a new baby at the same time. She'll finally have time to sleep!

Oh, what's this. You're re rolling a want?
[Have 10 children]
...
...
...
*sobs*

"Oh no, not this again." - After the ACR paired my just grown into a teen Sim up with her great-uncle and she got pregnant by him. The same happened earlier with another sim and her mother's cousin.

This almost happened between two of my sims (Carlos Contender and his great-niece Sophia Baldwin), but I set them as 'grandparent/grandchild' via Simblender so now they see each other as family. They live together now (Sophia got pregnant with a random townie so I wanted her living in a larger house) and I haven't had any more weird happenings.

"Thanks Mum" - when the mother just barged in on the son's hot date to talk to his girlfriend ... and I then realised that she'd just shifted the stuck "meet someone new" want the girl had and all the date's wants were now rolling to more amorous ones!

"Again? Really?" - when the same Sim got abducted by aliens two nights in a row

You are exhausted! Leave that damn stolen gnome until tomorrow!!!!

"Put the Teddy Bear DOWN!" To the "friend brought home" who is relocating said bear somewhere, for no apparent reason!

"No, i can't believe it" when Mélanie finally felt in love with the father of her two daughters (one is two from teenhood and the younger just turns into a toddler).

When you're playing a pre-made, married with children, and they have a "first kiss" with each other! Like, you've been pregnant 4 times and never kissed! Slap my own forhead

Me: Can't we have a little more fun before you go to bed?
My Sim: NO!!! I'm far too tired!

Then I think I hear him add under his breath, "It's time you were in bed too!"

No. You are not buying another statue. Your garden looks like an art museum already!

Stop cleaning that toilet! The customer needs it.
You cannot have another puppy!
Stop sleeping on the couch.

"Will you stop wandering around the house in your undies!"
"You don't need a bath! Get out! Get of the way! The Sim behind you is green with stink!"
"Leave the child alone. Do NOT pick him up. He's in the crib trying to sleep!. He does NOT need a bath!" (They pick up the tired child) "Arrrgghhh!"

I'm just starting a hood and bringing on the next generation, so...

"Please don't tell me we are playing musical cribs again!"
"I TOLD YOU to change that toddler's diaper! Not just put her in her crib and let her wallow in her own doodoo! Idiot!"
"Why did I let you breed?"
"Crap, you're pregnant and I just fed you cheesecake! Now you're having twins! AAAGH! Curse EA and their creative license with middle school biology!"

"Stop. Stuffing. Your. Ugly. Face. YOU HAVE LEFTOVERS, EAT THEM" - Me today when a fat teen started "stuffing face" at the fridge, blocking people.

"Stop splashing! You'll get hit by lightning!"

"...*whispers* that b*tch turned around and came back"

– Me when I had forgotten and finally noticed that I had moved a cheating mother back together with her family.
Aah, Peggy Sue McClain. You just never learn, do you.

Don't walk away! You are supposed to help him with his homework until it is done!

"You're pregnant? Okay, that's fine" and then later she gave birth "TRIPLETS! That's totally not fine!"