Granted, but in your new life you're a boy...

I wish I can fly until I die.

Granted, but so can everyone else, so now it's busier than O'Hare.

I wish I was FIVE HUNDRED FEET TALL.

Granted, but you step on everybody and you happen to be the last one on Earth.

I wish the music to Nyan Cat wasn't annoying.

Granted but every other song is even more annoying.
I wish that I didn't have asthma.

Granted - But you become really anxious, and hyperventilate often. c:

I wish I lived in Australia. :D

Granted but you get bitten by one of these babies , and die and slow and miserably painful death.

I wish it was the weekend already.

(Totally worth it. ;3)

The weekend arrives, but it passes triple as quickly as usual. In other words, even faster than the blink of an eye. :D

I wish this coke wasn't so cold. ಠ_ಠ

Wonder if those are in New Zealand? I want to make a vacation their this year!

Granted but the coke is sooo hot it gives your mouth 3rd degree burns.

I wish I knew what to wish about.

Granted, but your wish is so retarded that everyone in the whole world thinks it's stupid.

I wish I could come up with a better way to say "I wish".

Granted but as a cost of the wish, you lose your ability to speak any written language and can only speak in simlish, as no one knows what you say, you're placed in a mental institution, where doctors monitor you and try to figure out the reason for your weird speech pattern. They can never figure it out and so finally they just decided to go 1940's on your ass and give you a lobotomy which leaves you permanently incapacitated. You spend the rest of your life sitting in a wooden chair in the corner of a white room drooling, making weird moaning noises and looking blankly up at the ceiling. All because of that one simple wish . . .

I wish it was Summer already.

Granted but it's over 9,000 degrees outside. In celsius.

Where I live, it's around 70 degrees right now.

I wish I could move.

Granted, you get up and walk to the bathroom.

I wish I was actually able to celebrate holidays again.

Granted, but then all holidays are canceled.

Heck, I would take it.

I wish I could live in my sims game but control myself.

Granted, but every other Sim in the game ignores you.

I wish I could type really really fast.

Granted, you type the words "really really fast" really really slow.

I wish I had time to go to the party tonight.

Granted, but you don't have any gas in this god forsaken economy.

I wish I wasn't so impatient.

Granted, but now you're so patient that you're impatient about changing back to impatient. (If that even makes sense)

I wish I could come up with an avatar that's actually cool.

Granted, but everyone on MTS turns out to be a hipster, so no one else thinks it's cool.

(Oh how I love hipsters...)

I wish I knew what to wish for.

Granted but you forget it.
I wish I could eat without getting diabetes or fat.

Granted, but you won't be able to taste what you eat.

I wish for someone to reply to this post.

Granted, but it will be yourself. (Oh i'm so witty)

I wish my enemies were never born

Granted but you have no friends.
I wish I had a million dollars. *sigh*

Granted, but you will never be loved for who you are, only for your money. c:<

I wish I had an unlimited supply of Coca Cola.

Granted, but your room is filled infested with fire ants and spiders.
I wish i had better english.