Sometimes I just want to curl up and cry. I can't stop thinking that someday I'm going to lose my parents, my dogs, probably even my friends, unless I die first. It doesn't help that both my parents and dogs are oldish. Two of the dogs are 8 and 9, the other's only 2. My dad is sixty already, and my mom's five years younger. It makes me wonder if I was an accident, I mean, why would they have a child at 40 and 45?

'Scuse me for a moment. KFDSLJJGLJDSKFsdjg;sdkadklgjkldsjklgsjgsgsnj9jdfjsdklslgsjfkdsogjdosjsdjgsgejgopwpgofjegojeofggjeskgjksdgjakjsgjid

Feh.

Been at the hospital since last night, my boyfriend's mother fell down a flight of cement steps and had to be rushed to a hospital with an epidural hematoma. I had a feeling something was going to happen soon, my life is always full of some type of drama.

I had a break-down in school today, so I spent the entire last period crying, thus making a fool of myself. At least it's better now.

Okay, there is something seriously wrong with the part of my brain that produces dreams. I can't even remember the last time I had a completely good dream. The best one I can remember also involved a random guy getting pulled cleanly in half. Last night I had one that my house was.. on top of a volcano. Sort of. It was extremely weird, part of the ceiling was like melting, then part of the floor was emitting freezing cold air. My mom somehow knew how to fix it, but was like.. too tired to? So I went upstairs to get my dad, and the floor was melting...

Then I woke up. Help <_>..

EDIT: In my last vent, I was originally going to say, "curl up and die," but I'm not suicidal. Far from it. I just sometimes wish I was dead or would die with my parents so I wouldn't have to deal with the loss. I don't like these thoughts in my head. Why can't we just delete things from our brains?

I worry about things like this all the time. Whenever my mother (or brother) goes somewhere I estimate in my head how long I think she'll be gone and what time I expect her to return and if she's not back by that time I panic, even though it's not as if she gave me a time she'd be back by. I always wait up when she's out in the evening too. I couldn't go to bed without knowing she got back safely.

Got my period.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN SINCE NEW YEAR'S DAY?

^^ lol, we're period buddies :D

My friend was being a total b*tch to her mom. She is always mean to her mom and shouting at her, and then she expects her mom never to be mean to her. Whenever her mom ticks her off she'll just shout at her mom, then tell her dad to disown her mom, then rants about it later to us. I have just gotten so sick of her complaining about her mom playing with their puppy too loudly or her endless rants about how easily her mom gets ticked off at her (her mom's menopausal atm) and then she'll shout at her mom for shouting at her after she had messed up a bit. Then, whenever I tell her that maybe if she was nicer to her mom her mom would be nicer to her, and try to instill upon her the fact that she needs to actually respect her mom, she just yells more and more about how mean her mom is, when I'm the one whose mom has taken her out of every extra curricular I've tried to do this year. Sometimes I just get so mad at that girl that I wonder why I'm even friends with her.

I feel really sick but apparently that means nothing to my parents who are still forcing me to go to school. I just want to curl up in bed all day and sleep.

So my hairs a few centimetres below my shoulders,
today in class we had a relief teacher.

Teacher; where is your hair band?
me; i havent got one.
teacher; why not?
me; because i just dont?
teacher; well your hair is FAR too long to be out, plus it looks horrible anyway!

...
bitch.

Me too, and I am not happy. The last one only finished two weeks ago.

I really hate those people who seem to think that their parents and adults in general are only there to make money to buy the younger people stuff.

That is all.

I realllly want to go on a vacation to Australia, but my mom is afraid of the toe stabbing spiders. Why did I show her that video? -__-

my period just ruined my effing day. So second period, and my period finds some way to bypass my pad and make it's way to my jeans. The pad wasn't even full, not even close. Then I had to change into my track sweats, but my cr*p pad leacked again! So I ended up keeping the sweats on since they're black, but had to miss out on track because you could see a bit of the blood and I couldn't run with a red stain near my butt.

AAAUUURGHHHH >

Ew girl, that's just nasty. :-l But it does happen though Psst... use Infinity! It's what I used before I switched to tampons.

Sometimes I wish I was stupid, talentless, and had absolutely no potential whatsoever, and was one of those girls that genuinely cared about nothing else except bags, shoes, dieting, sexcapades, gossip and clubbing. Maybe then I wouldn't get so heartbroken when my parents seem to think that I'm not a 'worthy investment', and that sending me to a place where I could actually learn, and giving me a chance break free from this sexist, oppressive society, isn't worth their money or their interest.

A brand spankin' new beach house on the other hand (selling the damn thing would pay for 4 years of university), totally is.

So, I'm a few months late on this news, but I just found out that Disney will not be producing any more "fairytale" movies, at least not in their predicted future. Apparently, this is because, by age 5, little girls are more concerned with how hot they are.

WHAT THE HELLING FUCK?! I know the hotness thing isn't true, and if it is, WHY are they trying to encourage it? I love their fairytale movies. Plus, Disney makes like one animated movie a year. Surely, with their money, they can afford to cater to both genders. Oh well, I half hope their money starts to dry up when they realize that five year olds don't give a shit about their hotness.

My friend has such an awful sense of humor. She thinks it would be funny for me to tell an emo guy (whom she happens to hate) that I am in love with him, which I most definitely am not, considering I've never met the guy in person. What the fuck. Honestly.

People need to learn to stop talking when they are wrong.

My boyfriend's mother passed away early this morning, it was an epidural hematoma. We really thought she was going to push through this, I thought she was doing well. And I don't know what to do to help, he broke down at the hospital and my mom and I left after awhile. I'm going to call him tomorrow and see if he wants me to come over, but I don't know what I can do to help. :-/

^ Awwwww, I'm so sorry for him and you, Dreamy.

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry Dreamy. I shall keep you both in my thoughts. Kia kaha♥

I'm so, so sorry, Dreamy. That's absolutely awful-- best wishes to you both.

I made a decision, which is in away- kind of life changing.
I am only young.. but i feel it was the right decision, I respect myself... and I have true feelings for the other person.
And when i told my closest friend... she judged me...
I'm not a slut.

So sorry Dreamy. My thoughts are with both of you.

x-tashi-x To be honest I know she may be a close friend but as long as you are happy with what you have done, then that is all that matters.

My vent is simple, boring and kind of unimportant but hey ho...
TV is annoying. When they say they are going to show sometime, show it! Don't delay it but a few weeks and instead put on repeats of a program... *sigh*

That's horrendous, Dreamy. My thoughts are with you both.