My head feels like a giant fluff of cotton, I shouldn't have forced myself to sleep.

I'm really tired but I arranged to go out with friends to see a comedy show tonight and I don't want to let them down, especially as another friend has already bailed because a boy wanted to see her.

I had such a wonderful night and I still feel like crap. It really hurts to know that I'll be leaving all these people behind.

I'm sweating so much, I feel like just lounging around in the nude, but the windows and doors are open, so I'm gonna pass on that!

I got Sims 3: Generations, but then I realised I don't have the space on my harddrive for Sims 2 and 3 at the same time, and I have to get a movie done, and I reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally don't want to defrag.

It sucks when you connect really well with somebody but the age difference is too much (for him - He's 25 and I'm almost 20).

Of course when I finally find a guy who can spell the majority of his words correctly AND can hold a conversation AND has a sense of humor. *Sigh*

The thought of graduation and having to start all over again in September is almost making me feel physically ill now. I suppose I just don't want to leave what's familiar and good for something that is completely unknown, in case what comes next isn't nearly as good.

^ Right there with you on that one!

I just ran out of harddrive space, AGAIN, after moving almost everything I could to the external harddrive. What is taking up all this space?!

alkjfsdlfajsdfj So much rage. I'm hormonal, I'm stressed, and I'm so tired of my friend surpassing everything I try to do.

Oh, yeah. Sorry. I couldn't find anywhere else to stay and your hard-drive is -really- cosy. <.<

D: *snuggles all*

I'm stressing out, again. I get my overall results in nine days and I keep trying to re-evaluate how every exam and essay went and what I think I might get, which is pointless seeing as I can't change them now and I won't find out the break-down of my overall result until July anyway. I thought once finals were over I would be able to relax a little and do some of the things I haven't had time to do all year, but I keep thinking about all the things I still have to do and haven't started yet. And as if I didn't already have enough to do what with applying to law firms, I offered to volunteer at the local museum this summer.

Punctuation is the best salvation, learn it people!

On another note, I have the worst headache ever and a cramp in my shoulder.Bleh.

I just got caught in the rain for the second time this week.

Ahh. TV writers hate me. They make you suspect your favourite character of being dodgy, then you realise they are innocent, then they get killed.

Mary: "Do you think there's racquetball in heaven?"
Shawn: "I know they do."

Two (supposed) Misophonia episodes in one day. Whee.

Also, TV is shit on Wednesday mornings.

^ TV is awful all week here. -_-

It's so hot I feel so light-headed and dizzy, I almost fell out of my chair.

There's a wall in the newspaper room at school made of large yellow bricks. It's a longstanding tradition for graduating editors to pick a brick, write something inspirational, and sign their names. Our editor-in-chief has been saying that it's only open to editors-in-chief and executive editors, not to section editors, which is what I am. I asked our teacher for his opinion on this and he said that it's open to all graduating seniors, not to a certain class of editors, and that I should go sign it. I signed it today and have since heard that the editors-in-chief and executive editors are flipping the fuck out that I did, because apparently I'm not important enough.

I don't think it's their prerogative to be the judges of how much everyone contributed to the paper over the years. They're acting like first graders who refuse to be inclusive and invite the entire class to their birthday parties. It's not their anger that cheeses me off; it's the fact that they're talking about it on Twitter behind my back. Apparently someone posted, "Who the fuck does she think she is?" Real mature. I know that the editor-in-chief likes to think she's in charge, but at the end of the day, our teacher is the one who's in charge. He told me to sign, so I signed; end of story. I'm not apologizing.

This isn't really a big deal in that tomorrow is the last day of school and, barring graduation, I'll never see these people again, but it's still frustrating. I was hoping that, with it being this close to the end and with us being adults, we could act like adults and stop stirring up juvenile shit, but I guess not.

My store has had the same team of 8 for the last year (with a couple others coming and going). Now one of my co-workers is leaving to go do something in nursing (good for her, sad for us). One of my managers has been in the process of leaving for a few months to get her own store (good for her, sad for us). Then today, the main manager announced she was leaving because she got a better job opportunity (good for her, sad for us). I heard the news the second I walked in the door and I was on the verge of tears all day. You know you have a close-knit team when you [want to] cry over someone leaving. She said, if she could, she'd pack us all up and take us with her.

While this does open up a management opportunity for me (depending on what they decide, I haven't actually been asked), It's sad having everything go haywire in the course of a week.

I don't like change.

Hangovers are great.... /sarcasm.

I keep on having to hit "Overview" to load a page. Do you know how much this pisses me off? Greatly. My browser -hates- those little tabs.

My housemate woke me up at 4.15am this morning getting in with a boy. After twenty minutes of not wanting to be the bad guy again I finally caved and banged on the wall between our bedrooms. As she should well know by now, the walls are paper thin in this house and I heard her say clearly "Oh god" in annoyance rather than any sense of shame, which is probably what I would be feeling if I were her. Another housemate text me a while ago telling me that she got woken up too, when we've made plans as a house to get up early today and clean the bathroom before we move out this weekend. This is the third time in two months that I've had to hear her with a boy in her bedroom, and every time it's been a different guy. While it's not really my place to judge her actions and decisions, I don't want to hear them through the walls either. I just know she's going to have no remorse though, and when I tell her i'm angry she's going to get upset and cry because that's always how she repsonds to anything she perceives as a criticism.

Edit: We were all standing in the hall when he came downstairs and he tried to apologize for waking anyone up, but the other housemate who was woken up said, "I'd leave swiftly if I were you." Then she told the other housemate, "This is not cool." Now she's moping, but she should have thought about that last night. It turns out it was a boy she slept with back in first year and spent two years pining for and only just seems to have gotten over...so now she's back to square one.

Feeling like utter shit today, both physically and mentally.

We were supposed to find out whether we'd passed or failed all our classes today, but they've pushed it back to tomorrow.

Stupid, petty, whiny, greedy vent.

I WANT FICTIONAL MONEY FOR FICTIONAL CRAP I DON'T NEED.

I've had my marks back for this semester - did better than I thought - but my dissertation is the difference between a 2:2 (boo) and 2:1 (yay). We get the marks of those on Monday. I feel sick. This is like actual torture.

Nevereverevereverevereverever make me do something for you in Bodyshop if you're not going to use it. Ever. I swear I will hunt you down and kill you for the time I spent making that damn uniform from the little eeny blurry bits of photos, into a great-looking ensemble.

My best friend since 5th got cursed out by a girl I've LOATHED since 6th grade! Funny part? She asked why I hated her after she complained about how I (and I quote) "Am an attention whore who should go the hell away." THEN, my best friend got called (once again I quote) "A needy fucking bitch who has Danny (a friend) running after her like a lost puppy dog, and who has to get a life."

Isn't she fucking charming?

I'm so ready to start working my night shifts this week and have the days to myself. Nights at home are a living hell lately.

Today is the last day of university with my friends. We're going out tonight to celebrate and then two of them are leaving tomorrow and I'm leaving on Sunday. I really can't believe how quickly it's gone. To think of all those days that I wished away or complained and now I have one day left. I just know I'm going to become one of those people who describes college as "the best years of my life". I look just like I did when I started but I'm a very different person to the one I was then. It just feels surreal.

Headaches need to crawl into a sewer and rot to death.

When people have the attitude that Australians who are not of anglo-saxon decent are not really Australians. GTFO.

I wrote a really nice passage which I thought I'd use in the piece I'm working on, but now it doesn't fit. Unfortunately, I don't have another piece it will go into, and I don't have the heart to cull it, and I've also lost 85% of the direction I had with this piece. falkdj This portfolio is going to be the death of me.

Youtube is fucking with my emails. I have a Yahoo email I registered my Youtube account with, but then it started nagging me to merge my Youtube and Gmail accounts... so I did, because it wouldn't let me log in unless I did. Now it's trying to make me merge my Yahoo and Gmail emails?! The fuck. And I think the Gmail is taking over my Yahoo.

Also, why does every email keep telling me to assign a phone number to it? -_-

Somehow I've managed to injure the bridge of my foot, to the point where a twitch sends stabbing pains down the side.

I've been sitting down.

What's next? Break my wrist while eating?!

Eating is not an option in this heat, yet, I am starving to death.

So I shouldn't have eaten that double-sized pizza today...

That time of the month is due anytime.. therefore I want to eat everything in sight.

I've just come home from an awesomely fun day with my bestie and really good friend, really nice time and yet as soon as i'm on my own again I wanna just be by myself for ages.

Coming back home after having such a good time with other people makes realising that I still can't be with or see my boyfriend so much worse. What's even harder now is that my bestie, Gab, and aforementioned good friend, Michael, are now dating so even though they wern't being all lovely dovey on me today, I still know that they're together and happy about it. This world really isn't fair sometimes. I get to talk to my boyfriend for maybe an hour a night if i'm lucky three nights a week. The other four he's up in Columbus looking after his Mom.

I wish something good would happen, that Derek's Mom's cancer would go away, and then that a job would open up here so I can finally get enough money to go over there and just be with him. Is it so much to ask?

Some people just have the talent to make me upset.

Some people need to learn to read. There is no excuse for mistaking July for June, and you shouldn't be disappointed if something doesn't happen on the day you thought because you were a MONTH off.

Gladiolus thrips need to GTFO.

Yo mom will not let me watch Priest! But I watched it! And Hanna to so haha!

Some days just make me want to crawl into bed, hug my pillow and just curse everything.

It's the middle of June and we're debating turning the furnace on... It seems like it's one extreme or the other here - 90 and humid or 60 and rainy.

Damn detective just rang me. Way to put a damper on my day. I want out of everything.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Dissertation marks back tomorrow :/ every time I think about it I get palpitations.

EDIT: So it turns out I did pretty well actually. All that fuss for nothing!

No, mom, I DO NOT want to go to the other side of the city to buy you your favourite type of carrots, they taste the same from wherever you buy them. -.-

I had a standing order set up with my bank to pay my rent and last month should have been the last payment. For some reason the standing order paid twice, three days apart, which means I paid two lots of rent instead of one. My housemates and I had a joint account into which we paid our rent money and then one of my housemates would deal with the account and send the whole lot off to the landlord, so I sent her a message asking her to check the joint account to see if there were two payments and if she could transfer the money back to me (seeing as she does internet banking, it's not exactly a hassle for her), but she hasn't replied because she's so disorganized with her emails etc. and she never replies to texts or calls. She would not have been my first choice to look after things like the rent, but she'd already been living in the house a year when I moved in so she already had the account under her name.

How is it that the kids I used to babysit have Facebooks now? This is absurd; they're only eleven. I feel so old.

Let's recapitulate how wonderful my day was today.

-Rain caught me while I was out with my friends.
-I didn't catch the bus on time, so I was late at my sister's.
-When I did catch it, it was full of old frustrated people and I had to stand.
-I was nearly run over by a car in front of my sister's.
-I lost like 10 euro in the bus.

Such a WONDERFUL Monday!

Why can't I have a normal day without headaches, backaches or internet slowness?

Ugh, I just want to install some Sim 3 hair. Is that so much to ask *kicks stupid computer*
It's been a relatively good, if a bit bland, day otherwise though.

My brother's attitude is so blasé, about everything. He's going to be applying to universities in September and he hasn't even started preparing. Yesterday my parents asked him if he had any ideas of where he wanted to go and what he wanted to do, so he just gave the names of completely random universities to them. In the end I made him a list of the universities' and their open days, then ordered him the prospectuses, because I know he isn't going to do it himself. I'm such an idiot for always picking up the slack for him, but I've been doing it for as long as I can remember. Last year he had an important history assignment due and he'd left it until the last minute when he realized he knew nothing about the New Deal, so like a fool I wrote him a draft with important points to include and gave it to him to write up, but in the end I practically wrote the whole thing because he kept asking me questions and how to phrase things. I also essentially did two entire art projects for him last year after he got a C on his first one because he left it too late, even though I hadn't done art for six years and ended up having to research the whole thing as well, while studying for my finals. It really bugs me how despite his indifferent attitude to everything he still seems to breeze through life. I keep trying to tell him that if this is his attitude to applying to universities then there's no point in actually going to university.

By the way, I realize it's entirely my fault for doing everything for him in the first place and that he'll never learn his lesson until I stop doing it, but he is my little brother and I don't want to see him fail.

^ I DO want to see my little brother fail. I hate him. I'm weird, but the only person I truly care about is my sister. :P

One of my online orders got screwed up so instead of the clothes I had purchased I get a refund ): Last night my boyfriend dislocated his finger pretty bad, we will probably have to go to the hospital. I woke up with a huge zit & I miss my friends & my family & I just want to sleep for a whole day.

Honestly? Aw, your wittle brother is dating my friend back home, but in turn to go with him she broke your BFF's heart? Suck it up, princess, you don't control their lives. Talk about showing your true colours, bitch! I always knew you were edgy around her but trying to control who SHE goes out with? No, nuh-uh, not gonna happen senorita. I want to fly over there to give you a slap upside the head.

It is hoooot. I've been sitting here doing absolutely nothing for two hours and I'm sweaty. I hate summer.

Well if I'm completely honest, while I don't want him to fail, I also don't want him to do better than me academically. Ever. I can't help it, it's just the way I feel.

I've eaten so many cookies today, and now I feel sick. I should have stopped three cookies ago.

Phoebe, I feel much the same way with my siblings (not the wanting them to fail thing but the picking up the slack thing). Are you the eldest? Because I am and I think that as a result I'm just more independent than they are and less likely to rely on other people for help with things I could do myself. My sister has been applying for universities to start this autumn and I sat down with her and looked at all the universities she's interested in to see what courses they do, what they campus and area is like, I went with her to open days, I helped her do her UCAS application, I helped her apply for student finance and accommodation, I answer any questions she has. I also helped my brother with his UCAS application (though he's not going to be starting until next year).

I don't mind doing it because I'm the only person in the family who has any idea about university stuff being the only one of us to have gone yet, but at the same time I sort of feel like perhaps I shouldn't because it's not helping them be independent. With my brother it's a little different because his ADHD means he has real trouble organising himself and needs that kick up the arse, which I'm pretty good at doing, but sometimes I think my sister automatically comes to me when if she just stopped and thought for five minutes she'd be able to sort it out herself.

I've managed to stay up late enough to exhaust myself to sleep, let's hope that I actually do that.

On another note, the mouthwash my dentist prescribed me tastes and burn like hell.

My friends are keeping something from me...
All day yesterday and today, they've been asking Kenny, "Did you ask yet?" and I asked who was asking who what, and they WOULDN'T TELL ME! I'm the only one who doesn't know, so I have a feeling I'm involved in it. There's a dance in 1 week, so maaaaaaaybe that has something to do with it...?
I just hate it when people KEEP things from me! It's happened countless amount of times. Don't like being subject of conversation!

One moment I feel on top of the world, the next I just want to curl up and die . . .

That moment when you're trying to find your brother's lighter in his cupboard but find his stash of condoms instead. Urk.

Feeling like a pretty lousy girlfriend atm. Talked Josh out of going to the emergency room last night when he thought he dislocated his knuckle - Turns out it was broken

My computer has been acting up for two days now, restarting itself without any warning and restarting while restarting, glitching the screen and lagging.
I scanned it, cleaned it up, threw away every thing that could damage it, I even threw out all my CC just in case, what the bloody hell is wrong with it?!

And this effin' headache won't go the hell away! Would someone be kind enough to stab my heart with a dagger?

I hate that my friend is so upset at not getting onto the course she really wanted to do and I can't do a thing to make her feel any better.

Now that I've graduated, everyone keeps asking me what I plan to do in college and what I plan to do with my life. When I answer that I plan to double major in literature and creative writing, participate in a media fellowship program, live in NYC, and become a book editor and novelist, there seems to be a 50% chance that the questioner will get a judgmental expression and say, "Oh. Interesting." I'm so sick of the perception that humanities majors will amount to nothing and end up at desk jobs. I'm also sick of hearing that I'll make only an average salary. So what if I do? I've never understood why people condemn themselves to lives of toiling away at the same boring, passionless day job if it pays well. I think doing what I love is more important than making oodles of money.

Blah, people.

I am the eldest, so that probably is partly why I do it, although I also do it with friends too. When I was talking with a friend about leaving university a few weeks ago she said that she doesn't know how she's going to be in the right place at the right time without me to tell her!

Today I made a disturbing trip into the children's section of the library that I have been visiting for as long as I can remember. Apparently today's children read books on gun crime, drugs and kidnapping, which is not how I remember the children's section, or my childhood in general. But while I was standing outside the library just after this a ten year old approaches me and asks, "Do you have a light?" I said "Excuse me?" because I really thought I'd misheard, but he repeated it and I told him I didn't. I was thinking what could a ten year old possible need a lighter for? A cigarette? A joint? A bit of casual arson?! I saw this boy ten minutes later with a lit cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

Every time I move it feels like I've been stabbed in the gut.

I don't think I can take 3-4 months more of this. It's only the second day of summer-ish weather and I'm so fucking hot. The damn air conditioner won't even come on unless it's two degrees higher than the set temperature....

I hate hate hate my nails. They're so god damn thin! 5 of them are already broken, so now I have to cut them all if I don't want to look like an idiot with one nail longer than the other! Oh, come on! They grow up so hardlyyy! Now I have to wait another 3 months for them to be the same again, AKA the whole summer break!

EDIT: I also hate the "face slap" emoticon. I always forget that it's "faceslap", not "facepalm", even though I'm more than sure that I've seen this thingy being "facepalm" right on here a while ago... Or I'm just paranoid about everything else because of my BELOVED nails

I was gifted a ton of SimPoints by my friend who was quitting TS3 and wanted to get rid of his (I'm not joking, close to 60,000) simpoints that he had collected and bought over the 2 years he's been playing, so I go and buy what felt like half the freaking store and I still have around 10,000 left to play with if something good comes along. But then, when I go to play the game, it lags so badly I can sit here, reading a book, and not be disturbed for 40 minutes at a time because it's loading something. I CAN'T WIN WITH THIS GAME.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any better, they take an overwhelming turn for the worst. Please keep my father in your prayers, my family and I got some news this afternoon that no one wants to hear.

Oi, icons! Stop invading my desktop everytime I install or upgrade software. I like a nice, clear desktop tyvm and don't appreciate you forcing your way in there!

People who get all "high and mighty" about adopting dogs from shelters just piss me off. We all have to make the choice that's best for ourselves and our potential dog, shelters are not always that best choice. I got my dog (who is the love of my life) from a responsible breeder, and no-one will ever be able insult (this particular troll has called people "SNOBS" and "slave owners") or shame me into somehow thinking I shouldn't have gotten him. A perfect world is not one where everyone adopts from a shelter, a perfect world is one where shelters need not exist, and every dog has the advantage that comes from a responsible breeder.

Why do big bugs and birds constantly fly into my window?!

My room is the most humid and hot room in the entire flat. I am so blessed, aren't I?

1) I have this feeling where I can barely move without it hurting. I want to go to the emergency room, but I don't want to move. I can't help but scream! It fucking HURTS, man!

2) I'm sweating my ass off!

3) We don't have any ice cream. I want ice cream.

I'm gonna be going away this summer, and my two best friends are gonna be here without me! Hmph. Then I'll feel all left out when I get back. IF I get back. My mom has pushed it from two weeks to six, and she hasn't specified yet.

My back is really messed up, I couldn't sleep all night because of it.

Troll is still trolling away, this guy is seriously messed up ("LOL I WISH YOU SAW ALL THESE ANIMALS ! AND SMELL THEIR BURNING COURPSES !" ). Worse still, the admins are engaging instead of just telling him to simmer down.

The Downloads pages result in a heap of code for me. Uh-oh, Spaghetti-O's.

^ Scroll down the the very bottom, downloads are there.

Well wasn't that a nice visit with my friend that I haven't seen in a month... until she brought up the jackass that's been ruining all our lives for nearly two years. Then she and our other friend left for the night. Now I'm alone and sad and bored and annoyed. Wonderful end to the night...

I'm done with my "friends". They're a breed of human known as assholes. Assholes are conniving, evil, vulgar, crude and vile people. You don't want to have these people in your life. They'll screw you over big time. If you know anyone like this, DO NOT TRUST!!! They are untrustworthy!

People these days...

I bought a dress at GAP and brought it home, only to find that the clerk forgot to take the plastic sensor off. So frustrating. I'm just happy that my dad knows how to demagnetize it in order to get it off, or else I'd be really pissed about needing to drive back downtown to the store.

That weird desire to smash, kill and burn everything in sight, what was it again? Oh, right. Headaches.

Dah, I want to say "happy Father's Day" to my dad in Italian, and I know how, but I can barely say it in English. Stupid stutter. Why can I say things when I'm alone but not in front of other people?

...And apparently trying to say this is ruining my ability to type properly...

I hate packing, this heat and humidity and having this bloody headache everyday at 7 pm sharp.

Dad's been too busy to check the tank in the last few weeks, so we've run out of water.
We're only getting a trickle of outside water at the moment as well because the channel isn't full enough and the estate's bore isn't working. -_-

^ Soooo fun when the water runs out, right? Do you have to get a tanker in? I think we ran out of water 4 times in the 8 years I was living at my old place.

That's shitty, Nightly. If he's too troubled by your appearance to see the beautiful person that you are, then he's not worth your time or your tears, no matter how wonderful he may seem.

We have a second tank that we usually use for the garden when the channel's empty, so we've had that transferring all day [it transfers slowly and there's not much in there anyway, though.], and we're getting a tanker in tomorrow, but now our pump's gone and broken, and the plumber that was meant to come out 6 hours ago to fix it still isn't here. >_<

Nightly, that's horrible. Don't take his words to heart, and if he is judging so much on appearance, like Rabid said, no matter how good he may appear to be, he isn't worth your time. :\

My exam is starting in an hour and a half and I'm so not ready for it. It's my own fault because I've been bumming around for the last two weeks, so I can only hope it'll go just fine.

I hate, hate, hate traitors! How could she do this to me? She was my fuckin' best friend! Or so I thought! Becoming friends with my worst enemy? What the FUCK is wrong with you? I've always respected her, treated her like my own damn sister! And what does SHE do in exchange? Betray me like the ultimate Judas! And THEN she even has the nerves to ask me "what's wrong, why're you sad?". But I didn't answer. I'm NOT talking to her anymore. I don't need false friends around me, thank you.

Minor vent, but I just dumped a full glass of milk because I brought it up here, then completely forgot about it. I just feel so bad about throwing away food because I either forgot about it or never felt like eating it when there are people out there who don't have anything to eat...

EDIT: Daaah, the temperature has risen almost 20 degrees in the last like hour, and it's supposed to be about 100 today. I have to sleep in that?!

My father booked tickets for a concert for me and him a while back without telling me, which irritated me at the time, especially as we're going with a couple he's friends with who I can't stand, but I smiled and said 'Great!' when he told me. A few days ago I asked him when exactly the concert was, as I knew it was coming up near the end of June and he said it was next Thursday, as in June 30th. I just got a text from my mother informing it is in fact this evening at 8pm. What was he going to do, get home from work at 6pm tonight and tell me that we were leaving in a few minutes to drive there?

They're the ones who aren't good enough for you. One day though, you'll find the perfect guy who likes you just the way you are.

Nightly367, I'm so sorry-- that's an awful situation to be in! But if you ask me, that guy wasn't worth your time in the first place. If he's honestly shallow enough that he passes up a great emotional connection and an all-around amazing girl just because of a few curves (which plenty of men would see as a major asset, not a detriment), his priorities seem way out of order. I hope you feel better soon-- and contrary to what you've said, it sounds like you're way too good for him.

My rant:

Well, I've been trying to get up the courage to cut my hair short. I absolutely love the way short hair (around the ears or just below) looks, and I'm so, so sick of my current hairstyle, but everyone seems totally against it. They keep pointing out how all of the hairstyles I like make the girls wearing them look like guys, and how I'll "never get a date that way".

It doesn't really make sense to me. Why is it so weird to think that I want to do something for myself instead of to attract guys? Having short hair would make me way less insecure, and it's not like changing my look will change who I am as a person. Besides, if someone is totally repulsed by me just because of my hair, that seems pretty shallow. Ugh, I hate the assumption that everything girls do should be for the sole purpose of finding a mate.