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or: "MOOOOM help, there's a dog butt on my head!"
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As Easter drew closer, the Master Baker really went to town on the decoration of the hot-cross buns

Why is the water so warm? Hey! Did you pee in the hot tub again?

Guy who slapped the other guy: This is something I learnt in the military! *slaps*
The other guy: *dies from slap*
(I'm on iPad, can't upload a picture.)

"Well, there goes my new jacket. Covered in snot!"


(I'm not really sure what happened to her teeth...)

"I'm telling you, the alien had feelers, or antlers or something. And when he threw me out of the spaceship it knocked my teefs out."
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"Phew, she stinks!"

"Ahh bees, I will no longer break your lodge ..."
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"Ms Matchmaker, I'm telling you I want my money back. That decorator you set me up with, look what he's done to my walls.....!"

"Huh, I thought Flat Earth Theory was just a conspiracy..."

"Okay, if you're not drunk then this is really sad."

Mmm.... I Smell Hot Dogs!

Oh no, my fireflies got loose!
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and no, I didn't PUT the cat there. The stove top is called a HOB, you put it on any counter - but the game still says it's just a counter; so plates of food - and cats - still go there.

Cat: You will feed me that grilled cheese...you will feed me that grilled cheese...and you will lick the pan...

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"I didn't do it mom! It was my toy kangaroo!"

'Don't bite my finger and let go of my hand!'

"Gonna try to push meh hands really far to phase throught the wall."

Here we go for most random pic ever.

" I'm finally living in my beach house...no furniture, no lights, no fancy clothes, but I'm cool now! Guess I'll walk to the gas station to buy a hot dog and use the bathroom"

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'I didn't sign up for this! When they asked me to clean a burned house, I didn't expect it to be still burning!'