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Ghost sdoj 15th Jan 2013 7:28 PM
First collection of stories
 
Quote: Originally posted by izzikat
Requested Username: IzziTheBow
Reason for changing: Well, you see, I am not actually human. I am an extra terrestrial, from the planet Llamae. My family come from a long line of nomadic Llama hunters. But you see, I am allergic to Llama meat, and NASA recently discovered our planet. They are evil. They have forced me and my family to move to Earth for... 'tests'. But! We escaped from their lair. and now we live among the common human. How do we get away with this? Well the Llamaen people are almost indistinguishable from the common homo sapiens. Why do I need to change my name? Because, if I am found with my old name, I fear NASA will capture me and my family again, and resume their horrifying tests on our merciless people.


Posted Jan 15, 2013

Ghost sdoj 2nd Feb 2013 4:44 PM
Quote: Originally posted by HerGoldenHair
Requested username: sammonsim
Reason for changing: I think "hergoldenhair" is a mouthful to type, even for me -.-
And I didn't expect to actually post here when I signed up. I was just in it for the downloads.
Also, I want the name of my blog and my username here to be the same if possible. So yeah.
I know it can be a pain to have to manually change account details for users, so, sorry for the trouble... and if thou grantest my request, I shall be mucho honored *bows low*
Ok, I'm not really creative myself so for funny stories, would you like to hear about my sims?

In my first ever challenge game, Miriam & husband survived a zombie apocalypse by locking themselves into a yard surrounded by stone walls. They gardened and fished to survive, occasionally made babies, argued (he was hot headed), and watched the stars. A lot. Finally they reached elder status, happy(ish) and surrounded by kids: a YA son, a teen, two children and two toddlers. Plus one teen ghost who hadn't survived the zombies.
I was a bit disappointed she didn't have triplets, because I hadn't had any in TS3 yet, but oh well.
Miriam and her husband aged up to elder. They'd had their share of fights, but always made up, and were still very in love. So, they both rolled wishes to woohoo with each other. I, their maker, thought, "How sweet... well, why not?" and told them to go ahead. Then sent them back to gardening/fishing to store up food for future generations. The next day, Miriam suddenly switched into a floating head with feet. "You have got to be kidding me..." So I got her some maternity clothing.
She has no stereo, no TV, reads no pregnancy books... and gives birth to three triplets (no duh), which she leaves lying all over the front yard, because in the apocalypse, THERE ARE NO CRIBS.
This event brings her total up to ten children, nine of which survived, leaving me with eleven active sims (until the elders mercifully died off...making everyone miserable in the process, lol). End result: I very nearly go insane.
The moral of the story is, of course, to be careful what you wish for...


Posted Feb. 2, 2013

Ghost sdoj 11th Mar 2013 1:57 AM
Quote: Originally posted by name deleted
Requested username: TheGuySim

Reason for changing: I don't find the pleasure in shoving my birth year in people's faces anymore. I now prefer the mystery of people not knowing my real birth year. Like, imagine if someone was like "Oh wow, look at TheGuySim! I wonder what age he could be! Maybe he's 21! 30! 90! Or maybe he is Benjamin Button who ages backwards! ZOMG guyz! This is totes crazay!" Basically, I just want to mess with people's minds. I wanna be that cool kid that everyone knows, but they don't actually know me, ya know? I'll be like "Yo gurl, I bet you're wondering what mah age is. Well too bad, you ain't gonna find out!"

Also, can I get a Neuralyzer (the device that erases people's memories, as featured in "Men In Black") so that I can erase every MTS user's memory, so that I can start anew with my totally unknown age? Thanks. Love ya!


Posted March 10, 2013.

Ghost sdoj 12th Mar 2013 10:41 PM
Quote: Originally posted by strawberrieflavored
Requested username: Sunnyish

Reason for changing:
It was a dark and stormy night. All the townspeople were asleep, but knowing the mafia was still on the loose, sleep evaded me. Our town's detective had not yet managed to pinpoint the identity of the mafia, and it seemed the murders of innocent townspeople would continue until the mafia was caught... or I suppose until all the townspeople were offed and the mafia was the last man standing.

So that's how I came to be filling out my MTS site registration late that fateful night. I never suspected that I had become the mafia's next target. The sudden crash of a window smashing behind me tore my attention away from the registration, as I turned to see the mafia's hitman rolling into my living room. He reached his hand into the pocket of his trench coat, and whipped out a stick of gum. Realizing that wasn't the object he meant to grab, he tossed it aside, and this time withdrew a yo-yo, which he began to expertly wield as he stalked toward me across my living room. He whipped the yo-yo around and around in a large circle, so fast it seemed just a brightly-colored blur. The end of the yo-yo suddenly wrapped itself around my wrist, and he made to pull me towards him, but I was quicker, and yanked the yo-yo's thread off his finger.

Now clutching the weapon, I would have used it against him, except that I suck at yo-yoing. I didn't have long to enjoy my small victory, however, as he next drew a frisbee with dozens of spikes around the edges from behind his back, and flung it in my direction. Not having much time to think as the fanged disc whizzed toward me, I reflexively threw my arms up in front of my face, tossing the yo-yo into the air... and conveniently deflecting the frisbee.

Not waiting to find out what he next had up his sleeve, I dove behind the sofa, searching for something I could use as a weapon against him. All I could find was my dog's chew toy, but I figured it would be better than nothing. So I poked my head over the edge of the sofa, and lobbed the toy at his face. It made a hilarious squeak as it bounced off the henchman's forehead. It confused him for just a moment, just long enough for me to try and make a break for it. But just before I could reach the door, a jump rope suddenly lashed out and caught itself around my ankles, sending me sprawling. I lay there, face down on the rug, listening to the slow, measured footsteps of the hitman creeping up behind me, thinking this was surely the end... And then the angel saved me at the last minute.

After cleaning up the broken glass and the mafia's rather creative weapons that were strewn across my living room floor, I headed back to my computer to finish my MTS registration, relieved that my brush with the mafia was over, and I had lived to tell the tale.

Unfortunately, I tripped over a cord, and my face smashed into the keyboard, simultaneously typing out my username and hitting Enter.

Anyway, I'd really rather not be reminded of that traumatic night anymore, and I would like to politely request a new username, please!

Epilogue: When the townspeople awoke the next morning, the mafia had still escaped the detective's grasp. But two nights later, the mafia was finally caught, using a trained army of rabid chipmunks to polish off their last victim. Their plan might have succeeded, had the chipmunks not run straight back to their masters after the deed was done, leading the town's detective right to their lair.


Posted March 12, 2013

Ghost sdoj 20th Mar 2013 12:59 AM
Quote: Originally posted by dyslexictree
Well I know I've already had a name change, but I'd like to request another one if that's possible... trying to get usernames consistent for my modding stuff, etc. I offer you an amusing anecdote in hope that the great and powerful mods will come to my aid after I screwed up.

I'm part of the props crew for my school's theater department. We have a huge room (which we share with building service) with pretty much anything we could possibly ever need as a prop, and that room is connected to a small teacher office that we do most of our work in. Sometimes we leave stuff in there, including a broken, 2ft tall goose-shaped lamp that we were using as decoration. A teacher asked if he could have it, and it was broken and we didn't need it for any shows we said yes. Now, that teacher uses it as his bathroom pass. I actually see people walking down the hallway holding a goose. Another teacher apparently felt left out and asked us if he could use a huge artificial potted plant as his bathroom pass. The next teacher who asks is going to get a 3ft tall plastic Santa.

If I have amused you sufficiently, I would like is if my name was piezoelectric. Thanks!


Posted March 19, 2013. (And I rather like "dyslexictree," so I'll be sad to see it go. )

Ghost sdoj 24th Mar 2013 7:58 PM
Quote: Originally posted by nmcmbmnm
Hello.
Requested username: Angelique
Reason for changing: I'm sorry that I am posting here being newly registered but as previously asked in the forums by karatehest I was unable to register as Angelique, AngeliqueEstLaMusique, and other variations of that name (with Angelique being the first word). I have checked all of them so that there is no other member with that name - still wouldn't work. So, I created this name of randomness so that maybe you can change it for me, since it wouldn't let me register as it. Much appriciated.

Oh and to make you laugh: A man walks in to a bar with a giraffe. Both of them gets drunk, and the giraffe passes out. The man goes to leave and the bartender shouts; "Oi, you can't leave that lyin' there!". The man replies; "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."


Posted March 23, 2013

Ghost sdoj 24th Mar 2013 8:00 PM
Quote: Originally posted by WhizzKid1234
Requested username: HekateSIN
Reason for changing: I chose this name in my early teens, and while I wouldn't be me without first being 13-me, I don't identify with this username at all. It sounds arrogant. (Using the name of a goddess isn't arrogant at all, of course.) I want to come out of lurking, but I kind of want to have an username I don't cringe at first. So, to amuse you, here is a story:

Once upon a time, there was a little girl, who wished nothing more than to be swept up by adventure, preferably to a new and strange land. So every day, she would start by checking the back of all the closets in her house, try to push through every reflective surface she could find, and check the news for any sign of a tornado. She was always late to school, for she would chase all rabbits she ran into. As she grew older, she grew more shrewd: Looking for adventure does not work, one must make sure the narrative is drawn to you. So she would make sure to complain loudly about being bored, about how nothing ever happened in her life, while also saying things like: "Gee, I sure hope nothing unfortunate happens to me today". I didn't work. Now a bitter adolescent, she dedicated her life to study: She would cross reference any strange occurrences with the amount of rabbits and tornadoes, she would search antique shops, particularly those owned by kindly old people with mysterious twinkles in their eyes, and experiment on any odd trinkets she could find. Until one day she snapped: She threw all mysterious compasses, toys, closets and hot air balloons on a pile and set it on fire, ranting at the worlds that did not want her. The paint fumes and mysterious strange liquids (that still did not transport you if you got splashed by them) combined to create a dangerous gas. No longer caring about anything, she inhaled most of it.

When she woke, she looked around herself in wonder. Gone were the rainbow-coloured trees, the yellow brick road, the card-soldiers, the zeppelins: There were iron spires on the horizon, and loud white monsters roared overhead. Behind her, she saw the remains of her past world: Memories that were already fading. Had she been a munchkin? A chess piece? Ah, what did it matter: She was finally in a new and strange land!


Posted March 24, 2013

Ghost sdoj 27th Mar 2013 8:56 PM
Quote: Originally posted by NiallHoranIsMine
Requested username: ANiallGirl4Life
Reason for changing: The more I look at my name I think, "Ya know, he's not mine, he's not property, he doesn't belong to anyone." Especially now that I'm a little more active on the site. I know you all thought I would be changing my name within a year, but not for the reason you all thought...I'm still as much a Directioner as I've always been and even though he's not anybody's I WILL always be a Niall girl <3 (you'll only understand the Niall girl thing if you're a Directioner...XD)
Anyway, dunno if if I can come up with a funny story again, but here's my shot. Slight warning: Fairly long
********
Her breath hitched in her throat as she hid around the corner, targetting her victim. This was it. It was now or never.
"Do it." A voice in her head whispered. She drew in a sharp intake of breath as she nodded, trying to stop her hands from shaking.
"3 seconds." She muttered to herself. She began to count.
"One...two...three!"
She jumped out, soaking her victim with the contents of the watergun. Right square in the face!
"BULLSEYE!" She screamed victoriously as she began to run. Behiind her, she heard a scream and then running feet as he began to chase her, already plotting his sweet revenge.
"I'M GONNA GET YOU!" He yelled, spraying his "water gun." Luckily, she ducked in time and the "water" hit a tree.
That's when she realized.
He had filled his "water gun" with red, gooey paint. Not water.
She screamed as she ran faster, forcing her 9 year old legs to carry her as far as they could go. She could hear him catching up though and she breathed heavily as she ran, but she knew that she was quickly losing.
"I'VE GOT YOU!" He shrieked as he tackeled the girl to the ground. He aimed the "water gun" right at her face and she squeezed her eyes shut, already anticipating the sensation of wet, gooey paint running down her cheeks.
But no.
He took it to the next extreme.
She was hit with the paint.
But not in the face...
It was in her hair.
She screamed louder and it was as if the paint in her hair is what broke her. She kicked him off her and hovered over him, grinning devilishly.
"You think you've won?" She asked, as she took the watergun from his clutches. She could see the fear in his eyes, but yet, he still nodded. She smirked slightly to herself as she got up and off him and slowly backed away. A confused look formed on the boy's face as he got up and stared cautiously at his twin sister.
"Oh you really shouldn't have done that." She told him, her smirk growing bigger with every word. He couldn't help, but gulp.
"W-why not?" He stuttered. She was still backing away as she said.
"Because now, I'm gonna get my payback."
He gulped again. "W-what are you going to do?" He knew she was mocking, but at this moment, he felt terrified.
She then turned around and began to run. "LAST ONE TO THE HOUSE HAS TO DO THE LOSER'S CHORES FOR A WEEK!" She screamed as she ran. Her brother ran to catch up, but...well...
At this point, we all know who won.
And so the moral of the story is:
Never ever mess up a girl's hair, because no matter her age, or no matter the occasion...
She will be sure to get her revenge

****
It's not as good as my last story, but if you change my name, thank you!!


Posted March 25, 2013

Ghost sdoj 27th Mar 2013 9:00 PM
Quote: Originally posted by ShadowsMystery
Requested Username: Chemic
Reason for changing: well, as you can see, when I registered, it was a good 6 years ago and back when I was in high school. Plus the name is kinda really long and I'm getting tired of everyone having to write out the full name out if they're responding to me about something.

Oh, and a story to make you laugh? Oh what story to tell, what story...

When I was about 8, my mom, grandma, and I went on a trip to Busch Gardens. One evening, my mom wanted to go eat at Olive Garden, but as we weren't that familiar with the area, she was having trouble finding it. My grandma, meanwhile, is running her mouth off as usual, and was saying things like "what about that road?" "are you sure it's this way?" "did you try over there?" etc. Being my blunt self, I suddenly went "Does grandma ever shut up?! I bet she can't be quiet for 5 minutes!" Grandma huffed and went "Well!" and shut up... only to start talking her head off again not even a minute later.


Posted March 26, 2013

__________________
Quote: Originally posted by N8iveSims
But Shadows! You're leaving us hanging! Did you ever find Olive Garden?


Quote: Originally posted by ShadowsMystery
Oh yes, we eventually found it. I got a kid's cheese pizza and, because I was an odd kid and didn't like the crust, I would eat each slice and put the crust back down in its original spot so by the time I finished the pizza, all the crust pieces formed a perfect ring. It amused the waitress when she saw my masterpiece.


(Another name I think I will be sorry to see go.)

Ghost sdoj 22nd Apr 2013 9:08 PM
Quote: Originally posted by xMissAznDollx
Thanks goodness for this option, oh moderators of this community. I have been hiding from the forums by the embarassment of my username. As I'm on a shared computer, it is PAINFUL to type this name every time I log in. Even the keyboard just begs me to stop. Years back, I thought it would be uber kewl to have a lot of x's followed by 5000 x's. Now I realize I've made a huge mistake.

Anyway requested, I would like to change my name to: Shabbs

It's almost similar to my other log in usernames and I just stuck with it ever since.

Edit: JOKE just for the lols - Have you ever notice when geese fly in the "V" shape, one side is longer than the other? Do you ever wonder why? Well it's because the longer side has more geese.


I don't know how funny this is, but I am always in favor of lots of x's going away. I'm archiving it in case the name change happens. (And rather hoping it does.) Posted April 18

Ghost sdoj 29th Apr 2013 4:10 AM
Quote: Originally posted by PlayinSafe
Requested username: Annabel Lee
Reason for changing: absconding with absinthe... looking for laudanum... dusting off my calligraphy quill...

[a wishful edit of Annabel Lee by Edgar Allan Poe]

It was many and many a time ago,
In Sunset Valley by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to hear her name spoken by sweet Delphy.

So, c'mon Delphy. Don't make me go Tell Tale Heart on your arse.


Posted April 26. (Good job!)

Ghost sdoj 29th Apr 2013 4:12 AM
Quote: Originally posted by Amichan619
Requested username: KingKami-sama
Reason for changing: My old username -Amichan619 can be used to trace my personal school, facebook and youtube accounts, and since I've been very active with my posts lately I would like to take "some" precaution moving forward.. ( I wish I thought about these things when I first registered but since I'm dumb I want to be careful just in case I find myself in a stupid situation in the future..)

Funny Story: (I hope you find this even remotely funny because this really happened.. proof of my dumbness)

So, the school I went to when I was in grade school taught Chinese! My Chinese teacher wrote on the blackboard some Chinese characters and asked some of my classmates to read them individually (in Chinese!).. Of course I was very nervous since I wasn't paying attention, then she suddenly called me, asked me to stand up and mumbled something in Chinese as she pointed her ruler at the blackboard.. Nervously, I picked up the ruler, made my way to the blackboard and tried to read all the several dozen Chinese characters she's written (I knew in my mind there's no use in trying because I don't know how to read a single one!) but I still went on until I noticed halfway that my Chinese classmates were giggling then I look at my teacher and she was smiling.. I whispered to one of my classmates: "what's wrong" then my classmate giggling as he replied said: "what are you doing idiot! she asked you to erase the blackboard!" ...lol


Posted April 28.

Ghost sdoj 4th May 2013 12:46 AM
Quote: Originally posted by TheCantankerousUnicorn
Requested Username: Anatidaephobia.
Reason For Changing:
I've said this on here before but as I am told repeatedly...
Recycle! Reduce! Reuse!
Moving swiftly on...
It was during a chemistry lesson a few months ago. The teacher explained what we were meant to do for the lesson. As my group began to get our equipment for the practical we could smell gas. I thought it might have been the butane burner that we'd just got as we couldn't smell it before getting it. So I had a bit of a special moment and thought 'why don't I smell the butane'. So I did. And have found since that butane is a solvent that causes memory loss, paranoia and death. But none of that happened.
I burnt a book, melted my only pen and danced wi burning sticks.
Not good.
And it's a nightmare to type in the box.


I'm going to miss TheCantankerousUnicorn. Posted May 3

Ghost sdoj 12th Jun 2013 11:46 PM
Quote: Originally posted by Name Deleted
Requested Username: Fanaskher

Reasoning: One, I go by my real name on here, which clearly bothers me as it's very easy to Google me and find out my information. Yes, I have tried it myself. Two, I just prefer not to have my name out there so easily. I made this account three years ago, not thinking I would use it much, but I do. Three, I've become more synonymous with Fanaskher. The name itself is a wrestling joke as I'm a big wrestling fan.

Funny Stories:

- In second grade, I wasn't able to go to school because I had a fever. This made me mad because it was the annual field day at my elementary school. Moving later into the day, my mom and I were in her room watching some dog show when I had the urge to go to the bathroom. I'm sitting on the toilet, doing my business when all of a sudden at the same time of me crapping, I started to puke all over her bathroom floor.

- In my freshman year of high school, I was on my to the stadium for gym class. Here we have an outdoor school, so that means there are different buildings and the classrooms are access from outside except for two buildings. That day, I was wearing a skirt, which is rare for me. I'm walking to class with two guys walking behind me when the wind wanted to make its presents known. My skirt flew up all the way and me and the two guys all scream. I was most terrified because I was on monthly.

- That same year, I ate lunch with an old crush of mine and because of the way the lunch is here, I had the first lunch break. That means I go straight to lunch after third period with my binder and books. Everyday for lunch, I ordered nachos. I go to sit down next to my crush and I put my nachos on top of the binder. While I'm talking to someone, I feel this warmness out of nowhere until I look down and see that my nachos fell into my lap because of the slope angle the binder was at. My crush turns to me and says that he watched the nachos fall into my lap without even trying to stop it. While I'm upset at him, another friend yells over at me 'Can I have your crotchos?'. I simply just gave the guy my nachos.

Thank you in advance if my request gets fulfilled.


(And on a side note, TheCantankerousUnicorn decided not to get a name change after all. )

Ghost sdoj 12th Jun 2013 11:49 PM
Quote: Originally posted by xsilentxdarknessx
hello delphy.

requested username: ximmortalityx

reason for changing: because, ive grown out of liking the name "xsilentxdarknessx" and i needed something cooler, so i chose to have the name "ximmortalityx" the name doesnt belong to anybody. (i already checked).other reason: i like the name ximmortalityx better, because it doesnt mean anything nasty, but its a good name and a better one for me.

funny story: well, wat if a person said they were immortal? then people took that to serious and told the whole world about wat that one person said...the funny part about this is that the person was joking about being immortal and it turned out to be a costume contest and the "immortal" person was dressed up as a vampire


I'm in favor of all the x's going away.

Ghost sdoj 13th Jun 2013 7:57 PM
Quote: Originally posted by daniandan
Requested username: WalkingBurrito
Reason for changing: I felt like changing my username to something else.

So, to amuse you, here is a story:


The train was quite crowded, and a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle.

The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?'

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular 'Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under the yapping dog.

'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.'

She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'

This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honour! This American should be put in his place!'

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window.



And if that isn't funny enough, here's another one


Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes," replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Meteorologically, I suspect we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone stole our tent!"

And a funny image



Memo to self:Images need to be kept out of the quote.

Edit: She decided she wanted Guerra instead of Walking Burrito

Ghost sdoj 18th Jun 2013 9:09 PM
Quote: Originally posted by Nors
Requested username: Springbunny
Reason for changing:
1. About a year ago I started to change my internet username Nors on most websites to Springbunny. Kind of like a new start, and to leave a bit of the past behind so i obviously want to do that here too.
2. I'm going to upload some more CC soon and I don't want to start a blog with more CC with a different name than here on MTS, that would be a bit confusing.
3. The name springbunny came from my bunny and dear friend Nougat who recently passed. He was born in the spring and every time I read the username it makes me a bit warm and soft inside.
4. But how come that my username is a fish when I don't even like fish? Well here's the story behind Nors:

Back in ye olden days my older brother was the coolest guy on earth according to me. He and his friend were fans of a Swedish comedian duo - "Anders & Måns" and the endings of their TV shows were hilarious. And the ending song was called "djuret nors" (the animal nors). And Anders sing it in a funny voice and it goes like this if you want to hear it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0mSHJrV0vc

If you translate the lyrics to English:

"A beautiful thought of course
But there's nothing as good as the animal Nors
Think of a beaver with a smell of tomato
A turbot that taste like arugula salad
And a dog that spreads a scent, that reminds you of honeysuckle and fruit
A beautiful thought of course
But there's nothing as good as the animal Nors
IT'S. A. BEAUTIFUL. THOUGHT. OF COURSE.
But there's nothing as good as the animal Nors
(But there's nothing as good as the animal Nors)"

So when me and my brother signed up for a sims-site the choice of nickname was obvious - Nors. Well fish isn't cool and are much cuter!

One more funny story:


Posted June 18 (And the joke in the spoiler is worth reading)

Ghost sdoj 19th Jun 2013 9:41 PM
Quote: Originally posted by PeterFoster111
Requested Username: Green Blockhead
(or GreenBlockhead if you can't use spaces)
Reason for changing:

I look back to when I was 10, 11 or 12 and nowadays I'm pretty embarrassed at my past. My posts on this forum just make me cringe sometimes, though I edited out the ones I didn't want to have affected me now.

I much prefer to be known as Green Blockhead throughout the entire internet. My current name confused some people and made me think I had the surname Foster, and I don't want my real first name to be my username anymore. Besides, usernames with numbers at the end are just messy and not very attractive.

Here's the funny origin of my username:



And if that ain't enough, a funny story:

A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.

Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.


Posted June 19

Ghost sdoj 23rd Jun 2013 3:23 PM
Quote: Originally posted by charmedqueen
Requested username: kadience
Reason for changing: I was fourteen when I first made this account, and after a couple years, I never thought I'd end up back on this site. Since I've been experimenting with creating, houses specifically, I don't want anyone to look at my username and think lame pre-teen. kadience is the username I use on most sites regarding sims, and I've grown attached to it. I debated for a while on abandoning this account and allowing it to go dormant, but I like that it says I've been here for so many years, and I don't want to lose that. Besides, once I uploaded my first creation here, I knew I'd never be able to leave this account.
(Sorry, no good at funny stories. I'm just not a funny person)

EDIT:
Lame attempt at finding a funny story:

Subject: A well-planned retirement

From The London Times:

Outside the Bristol Zoo, in England, there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 coaches, or buses. It was manned by a very pleasant attendant with a ticket machine charging cars 1 pound (about $1.40) and coaches 5 (about $7). This parking attendant worked there solid for all of 25 years. Then, one day, he just didn't turn up for work.

"Oh well", said Bristol Zoo Management, "we'd better phone up the City Council and get them to send a new parking attendant..."

"Er... no", said the Council, "that parking lot is your responsibility."

"Er... no", said Bristol Zoo management, "the attendant was employed by the City Council, wasn't he?"

"Er... NO!" insisted the Council.

Sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain, is a bloke who had been taking the parking lot fees, estimated at 400 pounds (about $560) per day at Bristol Zoo for the last 25 years. Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over 3.6 million pounds ($7 million).

And no one even knows his name.

... I thought it was amusing, however, my boyfriend says I have a weird sense of humour, so I don't know if this qualifies.


I think it's funny, too.

Ghost sdoj 27th Jun 2013 9:48 PM
Quote: Originally posted by picass0blue
Hello. I would like to request my moniker be changed to Gutterfly because picass0blue is my legal name in real life and I'm scared that the authorities will find me on this site. In my country, human simulation is now highly illegal due to the new King's belief in the sanctity of life - it is considered to be voodoo. I have been accessing ModTheSims through a number of proxies over the years. To access the proxy from my country, you have to do the Timewarp two hundred times exactly, stand on your head for eight days without sustenance, and ply the Web Troll with gifts of Pecan Sandies and Jack Daniels. All things considered, it takes me a lot more effort to participate in your website as often as I do, than it would for someone to simply change my username so that I can tremble a little less while doing so. I beg of you to have mercy, as on your heads be it if I disappear from the community and there's one less person posting thanks on people's hard work. If missing for longer than six months, please assume they have got me.


Posted June 27

Ghost sdoj 28th Jun 2013 4:47 PM
Quote: Originally posted by Eva2164
Requested Username: Seulaeri
Reason for change: I'm going to start creating/releasing cc & I want to have the same username for everything.

I found two jokes from laughfactory.com that I got a chuckle out of...

1. A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

2. A guy was at a bar and needed to fart. He figured that the music was so loud that no one would be able to hear him, so he just went for it and timed his farts to the beat of the music. After he relieved himself he looked up to see everyone staring at him . Then he realized that he was listening to his iPod.



And lastly, my favorite, from the show Martin: The Night He Came Home...

3. It was a dark and moonless night at the bayou, in a deserted graveyard behind an old abandoned church. An old preacher stood among the tombstones and he called out to his people, "COME NOW! We must face our evil. Our village has been haunted by the walking dead. How many of you here, have seen a ghost in the middle of the night?"

And one by one all the people started raising their hands up into the night air. And the preacher continued, "How many of you have touched a ghost?" And a few people, with a dead look in their eyes, start raising up their hands. And somewhere, an owl screeched- DAAAAAAAAAAAA!! [funnier if you watch the episode]

And the preacher asked, "How many of you, have kissed the lips of a ghost?" And one man, raised his hand up. His eyes were sunken into his head and his face, his face was half gone. And his breath stank all that be damned.

Everybody gasped. The preacher looked down at the man, and he asked, "You actually kissed the lips of a ghost?"

And the man said, "Ghost? Oh I thought you said goat."



Posted June 28

Ghost sdoj 16th Jul 2013 11:31 PM
Quote: Originally posted by MissLoaf
Requested username:

Loaf

Reason for changing:

Once upon a time, there was a girl who was having a terrible time trapped in a house filled with terrible, evil drunkards* and suffering from a dreadful illness. The girl's illness made her very tired all the time, and soon she was unable to venture out to visit friends or to escape from the drunkards. One particularly troublesome evening, the girl found herself on a website filled with beautiful things** she had never thought existed, and she spent many an evening escaping her boredom. After a few months of admiring the website from a distance, the girl found a link to a wonderful room, filled with (mostly) funny and cheerful people that helped her forget how bad things had got, and the girl spent many, many happy hours with them. After a few years, the girl became more ill, but the people in the room were always kind and kept her spirits up, and in return she said enough silly things to amuse them in turn***. As time passed, the girl's illness because worse, and real life meant she had to split her time better between earning a living and maintaining her health, but she tried to keep in touch with the people of the room, made somewhat easier as she was courting one of them. Then, one terrible day, the room was gone. The girl was sad, but she tried to move on, never forgetting the people that had become her friends and helped her through tricky times.

Then, months later, the girl found out that the room was back, and she did rejoice! Having returned to the room, the girl threw herself head-on back into the site, but was a little embarrassed by the name she had chosen as a younger girl, and wished to take on a newer, yeastier name...

so please, Delphy and HP, can I just be Loaf now? =D

*first-year university students
**custom content
***fill up the QDB with filth



Oops, I thought I had gotten this one earlier. Posted July 5th

Ghost sdoj 24th Jul 2013 11:33 PM
Quote: Originally posted by pucca24
Requested username: Janeo
Reason for changing: A blonde gets her haircut while wearing a pair of headphones. The hairdresser asks her to take them off, but she protests that she'll die without them.

The hairdresser sighs, and starts cutting the hair around the headphones. Soon, the blonde falls asleep, and the hairdresser removes the headphones. A few minutes later, the blonde collapses, dead on the floor. Alarmed, the hairdresser puts the headphones to his ear and hears, "Breathe in. Breathe out."


Posted July 20

Ghost sdoj 17th Aug 2013 4:30 PM
Quote: Originally posted by Fergie_F
Requested username: Fergus' Mind
Reasons for change: Have you ever had people make assumptions about you based on your name alone? In my case the answer is yes, people see my name and assume I am a girl. Fergie was a nickname that I had growing up, hence why I chose it as my username. But recently it has had people getting the wrong picture. I'd like to be recognised for who I am; a guy. Fergus is my full name and my mind is very much on the site a lot of the time, regardless of whether I am logged in or not. My mind has a habit of wandering to this site and so I thought it would be nice if my username reflected this. My mind and imagination create my uploads and so I thought it might be nice to give them credit, otherwise that's just plagiarism. Also I’m not a large breasted hussy that sings and raps, hence why I’d like so wave good bye to “Fergie”.
As for funnies: (Edit by Ghost: Pictures can't be quoted so I'm adding it later)
I'll also bake you cookies I can't guarantee that I wont eat them myself though.



Ghost sdoj 18th Aug 2013 11:14 PM
Quote: Originally posted by Romemeister
Requested username: Tensimoles
Story: Not that funny, but a somewhat amusing story nonetheless. Well when I was 5/6 my tooth fell out. I (somehow) completely forgot and when I was drinking my carton of juice at lunchtime in school, I thought I was sticking a straw through my tooth telling everyone to look. Then I remembered my tooth fell out .


posted Aug. 17

Ghost sdoj 18th Aug 2013 11:22 PM
Quote: Originally posted by AleahStrauss
Requested username: SimSpark

Funny Story:
No I did not write this. I wish I had but I am not that funny. It's by Olan Rogers. It's so much more funny if you watch the video. If you would like to here is the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZO9tMetxno
If you would rather not click an unidentified link then look up "Ghost In The Stalls" on Youtube. You will lol forever. Ok here we go.

Back a while, I was in this Target bathroom. And I was making shortcakes... Pooping. I was pooping. While I was in the bathroom, pooping, I was playing on my phone in silent mode. Which, by the way, is called multitasking, ok. Put it on the job apps. I hear this guy come into the bathroom. He comes into the bathroom and gets in the stall next to me, ok, and I see sneakers. He started pooping, next to me. Luckily, I was in the post poop, ok. I didn't want him to know I was in here. Ya know that awkward... ya know you guys are both pooping but not saying any words and then it turns into some awkward skyping poop call. No. I don't wanna be any part of that. Not me. So I just remained quiet. I'm just gonna keep quiet, I don't want this guy to know I'm in here. I didn't want that awkwardness to happen. But in doing this I created a new awkward moment of quietness. It was so quiet. It was so fricking quiet, I heard a fly fart. It was like a soft angelic whistle. It was quite beautiful actually.

So I'm sitting in the stall and I'm thinking to myself,
"It's a Monday. I got nothing going on. I'm chock free. I have nothing. I'm free- I'm scotch.... tape. I'm so dang clear of anything."
So I decided,
"Hey, I'm gonna beak the silence."
.
.
.
So I let out the most bloodcurdling scream. I released Thor in the stall. And this guy, he like freaks the crap out. All I hear is like two hands press up against the stall.

"EEAARRRH! HELLO?! IS SOMEONE IN HERE? LISTEN I'M BEING SERIOUS. YOU ABOUT SCARED THE CRAP RIGHT OUT OF ME. I APPRECIATE THE HELP, BUT I HAVE ANAL MUSCLES. YOU HAVE ME WORRIED NOW. I- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE DEAD OR ALIVE."

So I hear movement, like he's getting ready to look under the stall to see if there's somebody in there. And I know this because the guy, like, hits his head on the paper towel thing. And as he looks under.... I pop my feet up. Okay, I didn't want this guy to know I was in there. I can only imagine what this guy was thinking. He was like,

"HELLO? WHA- AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

So I let this guy get really relaxed. Get really comf right there on the seat. And the guy starts pooping again, starts pooping right away. So I decided, why not? Ya know, it's a Monday. So I let out another soul ripping scream. The guy just starts screaming.

"AAAAHHHHH AAAAAHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Freaking, all I hear after this is the guy, like, trying to, like, put on his pants, right? Like he's about to bust out of his stall and go into mine. So that's what the guy does! Ya know he,
*BOOM*

I hear him bust out go into the next stall.

*BOOM*

"HEY!"

But what this guy didn't know, was in the spans of him jingling around with his pants, it gave me enough cover to move from my stall to the stall right of his.

So this guy burst into there.

*BOOM*
"........ Ok, okay... I see what's going on.. You are a tormented soul. Trapped within these stall walls.... I am not your enemy. I just want to excrete this dark matter, safely and quietly. And I promise you this! I will be on my way! If you give me this one solid, I will present you with more solids."

So he goes back into his stall, tingents are dying down. And, he started dropping depth charges again. It was almost like he uppercutted a playdough can. I'm in the stall, I'm in the stall next to him kinda like,

Quote: Originally posted by AleahStrauss
"It's a Monday. I gotta do it one more time."

One more final scream. But not just a scream. I decided to yell "RUN!"

The roar was so loud it was like I released the kraken in the bathroom. It was like a whale gave birth to a roaring T-rex. The hair stood up on my arms. It was that loud. And as I was yelling my fricking foot dipped in the dang toilet. So now I release more energy.

This guy gets so scared that he just,

*BOOM*

Bursts out of the stall. Runs out screaming.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

And runs right out of the Target bathroom.

So I walk out of the stall. And I remember that the only thing that I did was I just did a double fist to the air, right? And I just said,

"I AM THE MASTER COMMANDER."

I don't even know why I said this. But it fit the moment. And I remember, I looked over into the stall. Apparently the guy had left his pants... In the stall. Which means that he somehow got so scared that he slipped his sneakers out of his pants and ran out into target in his beefy hanes. So I walk out, into Target, one foot soaking. And I go up to an employee and I'm like,

"Hey, I don't know what happened. But somebody left their pants. In the stall. In the bathroom. "

I remember the employee just looks at me and says,

"Oh, again?"

Again? Freaking again?

Hahaha that story gets me every time. I really hope you like it because it took me over an hour to type up. Mainly because I was laughing so hard I really couldn't type hahaha. Um if you didn't find it funny and my username does not get changed then I'll have to find another funny story and keep trying. But seriously watch the video its so much better omg. It's impossible to not laugh with all of his faces and voices. Okay, thank for your time!

The real reason: I have no imagination whatsoever when it comes to thinking up usernames. But I've spent a lot of time thinking and found one that I really really like and, miraculously, nobody took it yet!! Also I'd rather not have my actual name floating around on the interwebs. Don't know what I was thinking haha.


Hey, I just figured out how to "quote a picture". End quote just before it, and then start quoting again after it. :D

Ghost sdoj 30th Aug 2013 7:06 PM
Quote: Originally posted by Peakabu
Hi there! Well...I would like my name changed to StynkerBell please!
The reason(s) may not be so funny..but true! A while ago...long while...there was a crazy woman who decided that my life was MUCH more interesting than her current one. She knew me well, as she was my cleaning lady, who I regarded as a friend (silly me)
So..the more she got to know me and my family, the more she thought that she could change her life and just - ya know - become ME! She went as far as to actually make a FB account, as me...she actually used Photoshop to remove me from pics and just add HER..next to MY husband, MY son, and MY dog...getting the picture? (pun intended) So...long story short..she really wanted to become me, and did her damnedest to get there. - several other events took place, like stealing my medications and trying to make me think my husband was doing it!! And when we first reported her, we had to "play along" to get as much as we could documented. Now, after too much of my precious time, she got her "comeuppance" - she sits in a little cell in prison, enjoying a new life, isn't that what she wanted so badly in the first place? Oh, Karma..and Irony...I lubs me some you! My life is back on track, all in one piece and I can again be the "real" me. I also didn't want to just start over as a new member..I'm back to building houses, and I wanted to be able to still claim the ones for the Sims 2 I made. Thank you for the consideration.

~EDIT~ Okay...so my first story was the truth...I figure I better come back with a funny as well - since finding them on the web is okay - I saw this one on my FB page this morning...and my husband and I got a good laugh. I hope it helps..or at least brings a smile to a few faces!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~Medical distinction between Guts and Balls:
There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls. But do you really know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the Balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.

Medically, speaking there is No difference in the outcome.

Both result in death.~


Posted Aug.30

Ghost sdoj 30th Aug 2013 7:08 PM
Quote: Originally posted by sinus
Requested username: munds

When we were small, my big sister - my only sibling - did all sorts of crazy stuff to me. Now when we are adults, she has told me about the Horrors of my Youth. I don't remember them myself, but my sister likes to recite them once in a while, preferably A) during a first-time meeting with a new boyfriend of mine or B) during the yearly Christmas dinner.
Here's three of them:

1) When my sister suffered from a cold, she tried all sorts of ways to infect me too, so that she needn't be home from school by herself.
2) When we each got a bag of candy from our parents, my sister first ate up her own and then came to me wanting to play dog-and-owner, which I loved. Owners use treats to teach their dogs tricks. Soon I was all out of candy.
3) My sister liked to punch me, because when I started to cry she liked consoling me.

And what did she grow up to be? A kindergarten teacher.


Posted Aug. 30.

Ghost sdoj 5th Sep 2013 3:41 PM
Quote: Originally posted by TheCantankerousUnicorn
Requested Username: Tanky
Reason for changing: Now this is a true story.
Circa 1999, Me, my mam and my gran were going on holiday (Jersey I think, I was about 1/2)
While we were waiting for our flight, we were at a cafe at the airport. My gran (who is a heavy smoker) asked my mam if she had time to go outside for a smoke and my mam said yes. So while she was away our flight got called so my mam ran down the steps with the pushchair with me in it, ran outside and got her, then practically ran through the airport to get to the gate. While at the gate my mam thought "I've left my bag in the cafe" so she ran back though the airport to said cafe where there was no bag.
So she went up to the girl behind the counter and asked about the bag, where the girl replied "it's been taken by security because it was a bomb hazard
So she called security, and my mam was escorted down to get the bag (bear in mind the plane has been waiting a while now) then was escorted on to the plane in front of all the people she had held up.

Then, on the return flight where I screamed the whole journey apart from the last half hour, the plane landed, then skidded across the runway, then across the grass in the middle, then stopped on the other runway.


And now, for the next lesson on how -not- to make friends.... XD

Ghost sdoj 12th Sep 2013 10:32 PM
Quote: Originally posted by reinmag
Requested username: Cloudwalker
Reason for changing: Because it's the name I use everywhere else and I'm old and confuse easily.

Funny, non-related story:
When my daughter was young she came downstairs with her shoes on the wrong feet. I pointed and said, "Honey, you've got your shoes on the wrong feet!" She looked up at me, huge blue, watery eyes, and said, "But Mommy these are the only feet I have!"

true story (apparently she got her brains from her father)


I like Cloudwalker better than reinmag, too.

Ghost sdoj 11th Oct 2013 5:32 PM
Quote: Originally posted by mizzbelle97
Requested username: simsdropacid
Reason for changing: knock knock..............tank.............you're welcome. (don't judge my knock knock joke)

This actually really important i made this account awhile back for mods and such but now i'm starting to upload poses and sims so i really want my MTS user to match my tumblr user in which i also post my CC. PLEASE help me when you get the chance.

☮ Peace ☮ | Llama | Happiness ^_^


sims drop acid? That would explain some of the weirder things they do. lol

Ghost sdoj 18th Oct 2013 9:31 PM
Quote: Originally posted by MDM
I'd like to change mine to JunJayMdM because that's the conventional name I use for my mods.

But what's that "JunJay" doing there? What's its meaning?

Well, when I was a kid, there was this guy, a drug addict that spent quite a few years in jail. He would come near us and start telling stories about him in jail and we just stood there listening to him. Now, don't think they were the kind of deep stories full of wisdom, in fact it was just a bunch of bull but it was fun. There was a recurrent theme in all those stories, in the end he was always the hero, the one who saved the day, and everytime he started describing the situation he compared himself to Rambo but he didn't call him Rambo, too easy! He called him "Rambo JunJay". Well...not really "junjay", cos he was probably going for "John J" or something like that. But we kids spelt it with a U cos that's how he spelt it too.

But wait, that's not why I chose it...

Years later, I had my first PC with internet and I needed to create my email. I spent 30 minutes trying nicknames I liked but everytime it was telling it's been taken. At a certain point I was so pissed I just wrote the first meaningless thing that came to mind and that was "junjay". Since then, I've always had all my email addresses with that word in it and just recently I decided to append it to MdM, the nick I've always used in forums and sites, because that guy got killed (you can imagine why) and I felt "JunJay" needed to be exposed in his memory!

I hope you enjoyed the story and if not, I'll call Rambo JunJay to teach you a lesson!!!


Oops, I missed that one. October 16.

Ghost sdoj 18th Oct 2013 9:32 PM
Quote: Originally posted by nonamena
Requested user name: NonaMena
Reason: Capital letters are underrated and need more love.

I'm not sure this is a funny story but it's the best I've got. Back when I was dating my husband, he came to visit me (we were living in separate countries at the time) and he cooked a really delicious spaghetti sauce from scratch. He made this huge sauce pan full of it. After we each had a plate of spaghetti, he left the basically still full pan of sauce on the stove to cool while we went to do other things. About 20 minutes later, he went back down stairs and my golden retriever was standing on his hind legs licking the pan CLEAN. There was literally nothing left. He ate all of that spaghetti sauce. Suffice it to say, husband was really mad, but I think my dog was really proud of himself.


October 17

Ghost sdoj 27th Oct 2013 7:42 PM
Quote: Originally posted by pondefloor
Requested username: Ujimushiko
Reason for changing: When I joined here nearly two years ago, I didn't think that I'd be coming around, and I'm known as Ujimushiko everywhere else.
A story: My Shiba Inu is so lazy and has so much extra fur around his face from his weight loss that when you say his name and he's laying down, he lifts his head up halfway but his extra facefur blocks his eyes so he can't see anything at all. He also likes to roll over and try to get pieces of kibble with his tongue because he doesn't want to move to eat.


Not sure if this one was funny enough or not, but it's better than just "I need my name changed please."

Ghost sdoj 27th Oct 2013 7:43 PM
Quote: Originally posted by gagafanu
Requested Name Sir wario
Reason for changing: Well.... I dont like gagafanu. I came up with it wheni was 5 when I made a roblox account whitch i dont use. Plus my cat just passed away and his name was Sir warioso i want to be nowen has Sir Wario


A memorial for a cat seems like a good reason to me. I hope it works.

Ghost sdoj 27th Oct 2013 7:48 PM
Quote: Originally posted by SimGuruBob
Requested name:
MrDensilter

Reason for changing:
Many people said that I'm one of those SimGuru's in EA's Sims Studio but I'm not and it's really annoying.... why I'd choose this username in the first place ?? :P
I guess it's my dumb brain who picked it :P

Short Story:
Oil Shortage..
"There are a lot of folks who can't understand how we came to have an energy shortage here in the USA. Well, there's a very simple answer.
Nobody bothered to check the oil.
We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason for this is purely geographical.....
All the oil is in Oklahoma, Texas, and Louisiana. All the dipsticks are in Washington DC"


Please notify me if you've change my username or not... thanks


He edited to add a better story, so I changed it here.

Ghost sdoj 11th Nov 2013 7:43 PM
Quote: Originally posted by Blobfish
Requested username: Vampirwurst
Reason for changing: Well when I started creating or recolouring things for the sims. I hadn't an idea how to name me. I only knew that I wanted something special without numbers or signs in it. So I chose "Blobfish" because I saw an picture on the internet and i thought "yeah that would be funny. But it doesn't represent things im totally obsessed about. Some weeks later there was a family event with buffet.
You should know there was blackpudding and I really love it (with mustard and garlic, yummy). I asked my uncle to pass me the blackpudding. He filled my plate with pieces of blackpudding and said "There's your "Vampirwurst"" (We are german, so I'll explain the word Vampir=vampire Wurst=sausage).
Well and because I really like vampires and backpudding and liked the word and began to change my username on twitter, tumblr and diffrent boards to "Vampirwurst". A lot of people recognize me with this nick and that's great. I want this for modthesims too.

Joke:
Two chemicists came to bar. The first said "I want to have a glass of H2O". The second said "I want to have a glass of H2O, too". The first emptyed his glass. The second died.


That's a good one. :D

Ghost sdoj 13th Nov 2013 5:43 PM
Quote: Originally posted by rachelwielinga
Requested Username: WeeScottishRach

Reason for Changing: Realised I erred in registering with my real name.

Story:
Jock was out working the field when a barnstormer landed.
"I'll give you an airplane ride for £5," said the pilot.
"Sorry, cannae afford it," replied Jock.
"Tell you what," said the pilot, "I'll give you and your wife a free ride if you promise not to yell. Otherwise it'll be £10."
So up they went and the pilot rolled, looped, stalled and did all he could to scare Jock. Nothing worked and the defeated pilot finally landed the plane. Turning around to the rear seat he said, "Gotta hand it to you. For country folk you sure are brave!"
"Aye," said Jock "But ye nearly had me there when the wife fell oot!"


Good luck

Ghost sdoj 17th Nov 2013 11:18 PM
Quote: Originally posted by gothikax0x
Requested username: Nymphetamine
Reason for changing: Since I decided to actually try my hand at uploading things, I figure not having a name from a bout of insomnia whilst watching Gothika ( ugh, I know! ) would be nicer, as well as it matches up with all the other forums I am on.

Funny Story: (I'm from Nova Scotia, Canada - so no one else may find this funny ..)
Two Nova Scotian's and a Newf are running from the cops. They run into an alley and see a pile of sacks, which they decide to hide in. The cops follow them into the alley and kick the bag with the first man in it, who says "meow!" The cops go "Ah, it's just a bag full of cats." They kick the bag with the second man in it, and he goes "woof!" and they're like, "OK, dog in a bag, whatever." Then they kick the bag with the Newf in it, and he goes "potato!"


OK.... Good luck. (I don't find jokes like this one terribly funny, but whatever.)

Ghost sdoj 7th Dec 2013 6:14 PM
Quote: Originally posted by snoozlewudget
Requested username: Amarysauce
Reason for changing: I signed up to MTS ages and ages ago just to be able to download stuff. And I was younger and dumber. And stuff. And I'm not really a fan of snoozlewudget as a username anymore, especially without proper capitalisation. Nothing really interesting to it, I'm afraid, so here's one of my favourite terrible jokes:
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. He asks the bartender for some rum. The bartender says, "Sure thing, but do you realise you have a steering wheel in your pants?"
The pirate replies, "Yarr! 'Tis drivin' me nuts!"


snoozlewudget is a cute name, but I can understand wanting it changed. Good luck.

Ghost sdoj 8th Dec 2013 1:57 AM
And another one today:

Quote: Originally posted by levini
Requested username: CircusWolfDesigns
Reason for changing: (It doesn't have to be a funny story, does it?) My reason for changing my name is mostly because Levini is an older name from the land of me being super stupid and young. I chose this name as a ... I really don't remember, been that long, so I finally am deciding to end my year out and retire Levini as a Username

So for a funny type thing. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?Because they taste funny


Good luck.

Ghost sdoj 11th Dec 2013 12:18 AM
Quote: Originally posted by Devon99
Requested username: Pandora
Reason for changing: Just got bored of 'Devon99' xd
Funny Story: This summer when i went to Athens we stayed in a hotel.My cousin came with us.He took two suitcases.My mother was like: 'Niko you took two suitcases..we are staying in hotel only 4 days!' And Niko was like: 'This is a hotel?!'
(Not so funny story,so i included joke :/)
Joke:
A normally sweet Great Dane Psil has one quirk: she hates United Parcel Service drivers.
While walk Psil one day, around the corner of a house came a UPS man.
Struggling to keep hold of Psil, the owner tried to ease the situation said, "As you can see, he just loves UPS men."

"Don't you feed her anything else?" he responded.


Just in case my thread is -not- obsolete... Although the deletions do seem to have stopped.

Ghost sdoj 18th Dec 2013 9:27 PM
Quote: Originally posted by piggypeach
Requested username: GhostKitten
Reason for change: piggypeach is something I came up with when I was quite young and I feel really ridiculous.




That spoilered image is actually part of the post.... Not sure how long it will be at it's hosting site, but it's cute.

Edit: This request was deleted by piggypeach.

Ghost sdoj 23rd Dec 2013 3:41 AM
Quote: Originally posted by dreamcatcher2009
Requested username: Countrykris
Reason for changing:
$2 bill at taco bell
-- Author unknown

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about anyone getting irritated at me for trying to break a $50 bill.

Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go."
Server: "That'll be $1.04. Eat in?"
Me: "No, it's to go." At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.

Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"
Manager: "No. A what?"
Server: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."
Manager: "Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill."
Server: "Yeah, thought so."
He comes back to me and says, "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"
Me: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"
Server: "I don't know."
Me: "See here where it says legal tender?"
Server: "Yeah."
Me: "So, why won't you take it?"
Server: "Well, hang on a sec."

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, "He says I have to take it."

Manager: "Doesn't he have anything else?"
Server: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change."
Manager: "I'm not opening the safe with him in here.
"Server: "What should I do?"
Manager: "Tell him to come back later when he has real money."
Server: "I can't tell him that! You tell him."
Manager: "Just tell him."
Server: "No way! This is weird. I'm going in back."
The manager approaches me and says, "I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night."
Me: "It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill."
Manager: "We don't take those, either."
Me: "Why not?"
Manager: "I think you know why."
Me: "No really... tell me why."
Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
Me: "Excuse me?"
Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
Me: "What on earth for?"
Manager: "Please, sir."
Me: "Uh, go ahead, call them."
Manager: "Would you please just leave?"
Me: "No."
Manager: "Fine -- have it your way then."
Me: "Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?"

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

Guard: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
Manager (whispering): "This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money."
Guard: "No kidding! What?"
Manager: "Get this... a two dollar bill."
Guard (incredulous): "Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?"
Manager: "I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty."
Guard: "Oh, so the fifty's fake!"
Manager: "No, the two dollar bill is."
Guard: "Why would he fake a two dollar bill?"
Manager: "I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"
Guard: "Yeah."
Security Guard walks over to me and...
Guard: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use."
Me: "Uh, no."
Guard: "Lemme see 'em."
Me: "Why?"
Guard: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"

At this point I am ready to say, "Sure, please!" but I want to eat, so I say, "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill."

I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says, "Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"

Manager: "It's fake."
Guard: "It doesn't look fake to me."
Manager: "But it's a two dollar bill."
Guard: "Yeah... ?"
Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"

The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot, and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue.

So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

This all made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. You get free food there, too!


This was a great find!

Ghost sdoj 1st Jan 2014 7:49 AM
Quote: Originally posted by LillianAllen
Requested Username: BritannicStepanova
Reason: I am tired of LillianAllen. It is the name of the very first sim I ever made. I hate it now. It doesn't match me at all.
It also sounds to much like the singer Lily Allen.
Funny Joke:
A blonde joke (I'm Blonde XD)


There was a blonde who was sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer was naturally bored, so he kept bugging the blonde to play a game of intelligence with him. The blonde was reluctant, so the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds. He told her that every time she could not answer his question, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50. The lawyer figured the blonde was so dumb, he could not lose, and the blonde thought for a few minutes and reluctantly accepted to play his game. The lawyer fires his first question "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?" Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. The blonde then asked the lawyer "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?" The lawyer's face looked extremely puzzled. He spent several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to figure out the answer. Finally, the angry and frustrated lawyer handed the blonde $50.00. The blonde put the $50 into her purse quickly without saying a word. The lawyer was outraged at this point and asked, "Well, what is answer?" The blonde glanced at him with a smirk on her face and handed him a $5 bill.


ROFL! (And Happy New Year)

Ghost sdoj 24th Jan 2014 2:19 AM
Quote: Originally posted by XXXXX
Requested username: tsyokawe

Reason for changing: True story

About 8 or 9 winters ago, I was sitting at my computer posting at my favorite political site - when I got this incredible craving for chocolate. Well, it was after 2 in the morning, and being this is a university town, and it was a Friday night, I was worried that the streets would be crawling with drunks and other such jerks.

So, I rummaged through my late husband's clothes. You gotta understand, Tom was about my height, but had much larger waist and much shorter legs - his inseam was some 5 to 6 inches shorter. Well, putting on a pair of his jeans, and then using his Santa Claus suspenders to hold them up, it was like wearing a pair of really baggy capris.

I put on a pair of my thick fuzzy striped socks (cuz it was cold outside). I put on his big wool coat, and tucked my hair up into one of his trucker hats. And off I went.

I made it to the gas station/convenience store without meeting a soul. But inside, I'm trying to decide what candy I want; there's quite a selection. While I'm standing there, I hear someone come up beside me. I could see in my peripheral vision it was a man. I ignored him. After a short bit, he starts chuckling. I glance over. It's a cop.

He says: You tryin' to screw up the courage to rob the place?

I say: I'm only here for the chocolate.

He says: So what's with the costume, you comin' from a party?

I told him the truth: I came here on foot, and didn't wanna attract attention to myself.


Good one!

Ghost sdoj 28th Jan 2014 6:43 PM
Quote: Originally posted by AleksDahmer
Requested username: hamburgerdress

Reason for changing: http://media.tumblr.com/a76b91fc309...pwCM1qz4rgp.jpg just please let me change it im crying here

Edit: I'm also real tired of my current username. Anything is better than what it is now.


Yep. that's a hamburger dress, alright.

Ghost sdoj 28th Jan 2014 6:47 PM
Quote: Originally posted by lmills2
Requested username: AussomeDays

Reason for changing: Would like to have consistency between this site and other sim sites that I post at.

Funny Story: Well, this certainly isn't funny to me, but...my hubby initially created this account. Now that he's decided to turn into a crotchety old goat at 42, he's left me doing all of the work and only pipes in when he thinks he knows something that he doesn't. I'm retiring him to pasture so he can spend his days chewing up old cigarette butts.


Hi Aussome! Good luck with that.

Ghost sdoj 29th Jan 2014 8:30 PM
Quote: Originally posted by ZedzKay
Requested Username: Descanda
Reason for changing: I don't even know how I came to "ZedzKay", either drunk or tired at the time, and I like this

Funny story:
This is a story about four inhuman llama-hybrids named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was a MTS campfire trip to the French Alps, and Everybody was told to "read" their funny story or joke first. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it instead, as he was laughing too much from Seulaeri's blonde joke about handyman blondes. Anybody could have read it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got TOTALLY INFURIATED and DISGUSTED about that, because it was Everybody's job to do it. He only had a dead leg. Everybody thought Anybody would do it for him, because they are his best friend, but Nobody realised that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done. Just to tell a funny "story".

And my favourite:

Ok, so one day a blonde, brunette and a redhead were trapped on a island. The brunette was wandering around in the sand dunes trying to look for food when she found a magical genie lamp. All of the girls gathered around when she rubbed the lamp. *POOF* and out came a genie.
The genie said. "I have three wishes for you. You each get one so it is fair. What would you like for your wish, Miss. Redhead?"
Then she replied, "I wish I can go back to my family in the country so they won't miss my great cooking..." Then in one second, *POOF* She was gone.
"What do you want to wish for, Miss. Brunette?" the genie asked.
" Um, I wish I can see my friends from school one last time." *POOF* She was gone too.
Then the genie asked," What do you want to wish for, "Mrs. Blonde?"
"Well, I feel really lonely now that my friends just went away...I wish I can get them back."
*POOF* The redhead and the brunette came back in less than a llama-second, and the blonde gave them a huge groupie hug. "I missed you so much!" She exclaimed.
"What did you wish for?" the brunette asked angrily.
"I felt really lonely so I wanted you guys back..." She said.
Before the redhead and the brunette could retaliate, the genie vanished with a smile.


Both old, but good and well told.

Ghost sdoj 30th Jan 2014 4:56 PM
Quote: Originally posted by sweetwitch01
Requested Username: Rainicorn
Reason for changing: I was young and foolish (I still am but that's not the point) when I got that nickname. I would like to change it to mature one .
Since I'm not funny or creative, I'll tell you a really funny joke I found from the internet.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator


Rainicorn...I like it. Good luck

Ghost sdoj 9th Feb 2014 10:34 PM
Requested Username: Zarathustra
Reason for Changing: Zarathustra, the avatar Friedrich Nietzsche created for his masterpiece “Thus Spoke Zarathustra” can phrase my reasons better than I can, so I will make myself a mouthpiece for his words (and then explain how they apply to my request).

“One repays a teacher badly if one always remains nothing but a pupil.”
My username is the same that I had as my student ID in college… when I was visiting MTS only for inspiration- basically, to be taught by the creators on the site at that point. Now that I’m uploading my own creations for the public to judge (and maybe ridicule me for, who knows…) I want to become more than a pupil, and want my name to show that.

“What is the ape to man? A laughingstock or a painful embarrassment. And man shall be just that for the ubermensch: a laughingstock or a painful embarrassment.”
My current username may not quite be a ‘laughingstock or a painful embarrassment’ to me, but no matter how much I love my alma mater, the rank-and-file alphanumeric ID that they gave me isn’t up to the standards I set myself for artistic creations like MTS. I set my sights higher than “lhb25” allows for.

“You look up when you wish to be exalted. And I look down because I am exalted.”
Nearly all my creations to this point are skyscrapers- buildings which people look up at in wonder, and from which their inhabitants look down on those beneath them, secure in their exalted position at the heights of SimNation society… Zarathustra would understand the appeal of skyscrapers.

“I change too quickly: my today refutes my yesterday.”
This one is pretty self-explanatory.

Thus spoke Zarathustra.
_____________________________________

And Leefish granted the changes and archived the thread before I got on to nab this.


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