Oh, got ya!

Granted, you now have the stomach flu.

I wish I wasn't so stressed.

Granted. You aren't stressed anymore and you fail whatever you were stressed about before.

I wish everything was for free

Granted, now everything sucks.

I wish I dreamed more.

Granted. Your dreams are of zombies that always try and eat your brains, and if you die in you dreams, you die in real life.

I wish my dreams could come true

Granted, but only your nightmares comes true.

I wish for a cheesy mushroom omelette.

Granted; you receive a cheesily made mushroom omelette.

I wish The Sims 4 came out early.

Granted. Nothing is completed properly and they give you a glitchy copy of Sims 1 instead.

I wish the NRL team I support would win a few games

Granted, they win three games and then they lose everything.

I wish I didn't have to go this stupid preparation year for the university program.

Granted. You don't go to the preparation year and you automatically flunk out of university.

I wish I wasn't sick

Granted. You're allergies act up and you feel the same as being sick.

I wish school didn't start for another few months.

Granted. It starts today and you didn't know about it and you automatically fail the first day of school.

I wish I had remembered to buy some margarine/butter so I could make a sandwich

Granted. You are out of bread.

I wish I hade some chips...

You have chips, but you choke and die.

I wish my Identity was universal across the social media and other parts of the online world...

Granted. Everybody knows who you are, and they never stop stalking you.

I wish the coin I bought on eBay from America would arrived already

It arrives, but its a phony. (What is the coin)

I wish that Macs were easier to use.

The coin is a 1979 10th year of Star Trek Commemorative Coin

Granted. It is much easier to sue, but it also now much easier to break. Congratulations, you now own a bricked Macbook.

I wish for chocolate

granted but its a Topic bar

i wish i was on a boat

Granted. It sinks.

I wish for a egg and bacon roll

Granted. It's a fish egg and tofu bacon!

I wish for money.

Granted. All the money has been destroyed in a fire.

I wish for an unlimited PayPal account

Granted. Someone hacks on to it and makes it limited.

I wish I had GTA 5

Granted. You get the wrong disk for the wrong console.

I wish I could meet curious George and the man with the big yellow hat.

Granted. You meet people that are pretending to be them, not the real people.

I wish it wasn't raining

Granted. You are now in the Arizona desert with no rain and no water and now you're all hot and bothered!

i wish i could fly (but i am not an insect)

Granted. You can now fly one inch off the ground

I wish it was Friday already