Wow Rabid thats amazing! I'll certainly put up part of my story there Gemmareno. The word count is 266000 words

*jaw drops to the floor*

As I said, congrats! :D

Rabid, you already know I'm a massive fan of your work, and this was no exception. You have such a broad vocabulary that your stories really come to life with all the imagery you create. I really want to read some of your spontanious work though, rather than the pre-written work .

Thanks, PixCii, Gemmareno, and Tusnelda .

Sorry for breaking the rules, Gemmareno :doh. That's what I get for not reading through the back posts in the thread. The actual writing was spontaneous, but I had an idea of what needed to happen, which I now know not to do. For some reason, the more and more I wrote, the more my conception of blind turned from physically handicapped to someone physically blinded by the circumstances. If I have time, I'll have to try again (so long as it's allowed ).

You can certainly give it another go if you have the time And don't fret too much. I only noticed it because you'd posted something like it before in the Help Thread, and if it's been posted before then it could have been edited and revised which is an unfair advantage over some other posters. As I said, feel free to give it another go.

Sitting on a soft, broken in sofa with rather annoying pillows behind me, I tuned in to what was going on. I didn't hear much. The quite whispers from a television maybe, and the constant taping on what I assumed was a computer keyboard. Ah ha, a click of a mouse, I was correct. I then heard a television comercial advertisment for the upcoming season of "So You Think You Can Dance"; the tv must have been turned to Fox. I could hear a quite mumble of a motor, and water dropping. Must be a fish tank. I walked over toward the noice, but stopped half way when I ran into a turning rack and a heavy box. I reached down to feel what I'd hit. Slim boxes lined the rack and box. Must be full of DVDs I decided. Standing back up, I managed to maneuver over to the source of noice. I felt around, and then placed my hands on a large glass container. It felt slightly chilly. I felt around on top for a handle of some sort. Yes. I found a small plastic handle and I pulled on it. The top of this container opened up, and I quickly stuck a finger inside. Yep, I was right. It was a fish tank. Not knowing what kind of fish, if any, where in it, I jerked my finger out, and eased the top down. I smelled a sort of musty smell in the air. It smelled of some sort of air freshener mix with a slight stench that I assumed was coming from this supposed fish tank. I inspected the rest of the room. I reached around behind the fish tank, until I felt the wall. Running my hand along it, I ran into a large, soft wall hanging. A tapestry or quilt I suppose it was. Ouch, my leg jammed into a sharp corner of a table. I inspected it, and found what I guess was a printer, though I've never seen one, I'm pretty sure that this was one. Following the table, I met yet another desk. Gosh, this room has enough furniture. The tapping sound was quite loud, and I suppose that this is where the person making the noice was sitting. Another click of a mouse - since I am very aware of what they sound like - and more plunking of keys, told me that this was infact where a computer sat. I then noticed a slight breeze in the air. I hadn't noticed it before, so I guess that it had just started. I lifted my arm up, and the breeze got stronger. Must be a ceiling fan I concluded, since I didn't hear any air conditioner running. Bumping a cusioned chair ever so slighly, I moved on over to the whisper of a tv and felt around. I ran my hand around in the air, making connection with a hot surface - I flat screen tv. Must be one of those HDTVs. I've heard a lot about those for a while now. Running my throbing knee into yet another table, my body flew front ways, but I caught myself on glass covered with plasic. A window with blinds, heh? Figuring I'd save my legs from any other bumps and bruises, I turned around and found my way back to the sofa. Upon sitting down I leaned back. Suddenly a blasting RING startled me and I flew sideways, knocking over the phone and banging my head on what seemed to be yet another dang table. This room has got to of been the most dangerous place for one who cannot see.

------

*My computer/entertainment room

clw8, I love how you described your own surroundings - a very familiar room is very different with your eyes shut, right? I love the chatty feel you have, like a running commentary. I would just say watch out for paragraphing to create pace and flow, as writing in large chunks can be a little daunting and changes in topic can be lost and cause confusion. Thanks for giving it a go! :D


Guidelines.

- This is to see how characterisation has an impact on dialogue. Therefore there should be no narrative, and no "he said, she said"'s. Just write what they say with a new paragraph for a new speaker.
- You have 15 minutes for this challenge. Either time yourself with an alarm or phone, or use the useful link by FurryPanda on page 1.
- You must have a minumum of 500 words, although you shouldn't go over 1000.
- Copy and paste straight onto this thread. Do not edit or rewrite your piece. Spelling, grammar and punctuation can be revised but without a dictionary and such.


This is a little early today - hope that's alright. This is a pretty weird challenge but give it a go because it makes a good point! As always, feel free to ask questions and don't forget to critique! :D

Oh, I'll be participating in this one, for sure. Until the last one, I had forgotten how fun they were. And how stressful :p. Expect to see mine up tomorrow afternoon sometime (at least, that's my time).

I'm sorry they're stressful, PixCii! Haha. But I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with! I was worried about number 7 seeming too difficult at first.

*is excited for tomorrow afternoon*

Challenge 7
----
----
"Hey Margret, come 'er a second," demanded Benjamin.

"Yes sir," Margret replied, "I'll be right there."

"Now I got something to tell you woman, and I want you to listen."

Benjamin Martin was a 75 year old, eccentric man. He lived with a maid and care giver, Margret, in a century old farmhouse, which still had no running water or electricity. Benjamin liked it this way.

Margret Lowry was a 40 year old, timid woman. Although she was quite quiet and shy, and rarely spoke her mind, she was still suprisingly good at her job.

"Listen here Margret. You see I found out some 'em today, and if I find out anyone else knows, you'll be sorry."

"Don't worry sir, I wont be spreading your business to nobody."

"Ok, you see here - I rode on down to that there city doctor today. Been a havin' some trouble with my breathin. He tells me that I got that there Cancer of the Lungs."

"Well sir, um, do you plan on, you know, treatin' it?"

"Lord no child. I don't believe in none of that there fancy smancy chemo junk. If the good Lord wanna take me, he can have me. Now get on back to ya chores now, ya here."

Margret scurries off, pain stricken and confused. She'd been with Benjamin for five years now, and even through his bitterness, she'd found unconventional love.

Later that day, Margret, scared as a stray cat, mosies over to Benjamin. Her heart beating fast as could be, she confronted him.

"Mr Benjamin sir?"

"What do you want?" Benjamin snapped.

"Oh nothing sir, I uh just wanted to say ... that I ... should get back to cleaning."

"Don't forget to start up a fire in the fire place. Oh, and that path there needs a sweepin'. And it looks like a storm is a commin'; better go gather some pails of water now."

"Oh yes sir, I get on that right now."

Later at the solid oak carved table, Margret again tried to confront Benjamin about his terminal illness.

"Sir. I have just been thinking about somethin'."

"Well right now I think you needs to be thinkin' bout that there loaf of bread cookin there. It's bout burned in that wood stove. Watch what you doin girl."

"Mr. Benjamin. Don't you think it's about time you get electricity in here? I'm only considering that it'll be more easier on you now, and on me.", Margret finally had said everything that was on her mind.

"EASY? You want easy? Why back in the day, the woman did everything in the house, and she didn't never complain. Your generation got it too easy now a days. I ain't getting no dang electricity, so you can forget that."

"Ok sir, I was just considering your health."

"My health darlin'? Why, child I've been told I've had cancer fo da last two years. Lord ain't took me yet. Shoot, I only told you today cause I wanted you to know incase one of them doctors come round asking about some treatment."

Shocked Margret was. But, too afraid to show any emotion, she just replied simply, "Oh sir. Well then, that's settled. Let me get that bread."
-----
-----
Shoot...It sucks, I know. I suck at writing diologe, and I sucked majorly at these freakin adjectives I choose!

"Amy?"

"What?"

"You're fat."

"You're a brat"

"You gonna say stuff like that in your speech sis?"

"No..."

"Even if you are the biggest butter ball ever sis, you know I wish you good luck."

"You're not helping."

"Luckers!"

"People of Traling High, I, Amy Winterspoon Traveler Genet the Third am here to campaign to be your student body president. I will lead the school to a new era of prosperity and make sure that everything is priced reasonably, from class rings, to prom, to college to-"

"Phbbbbt!"

"Lewis you transcendent jerk! I'm gonna rip your g**dam face off! Oh... Ummm, the microphone was on there... wasn't it... ummm.... he's my brother...-"

"Yeah Am-EE! All you people, that fatty there is my big sister and you all better vote for her! Win-ter-spoon, Win-ter-spoon, Win-ter-spoon! C'mon folks, I look like a total idiot standing up here cheering on my own! Win-ter-spoon... Winterspoon? Hey, I love my sis, vote for her!"

"I... I... I'm so sorry about him guys, just, just ignore him, please, he's my brother, if you elect me, he won't have any power, please, just ignore him..."

"Awww, sis, what's wrong?"

"AUGH!"

"Well, folks, looks like we're off now! Vote Winterspoon!"

"You have ruined my life little brother."

"Don't exxagerate sis, they loved you."

"Get out of my sight."

"Sis..."

"You've ruined my life."

"Sis..."

"Do you really love me?"

((I ran out of time there, and my words were larger and political))

FurryPanda, well done! I really enjoyed reading it and it got across the feeling of lots of activity during the scene. I could totally see the rest of the school laughing! Wasn't sure what the confession was here but the characters were funny ("Transcendant jerk" had me laughing for ages). Just be careful about where your dialogue is heading, as you trailed off a little bit at the end and got trapped into swapping one word sentences. Thanks very much for giving this a bash! :D

clw8, well done and thanks for doing challenge 7! As a reminder though, be careful to read instructions thoroughly as I asked that no narration or "he said, she said"'s be used - only dialogue. I loved how Margaret kept going back to him to bring up the subject, like a timid little mouse and also your dialect use was really animating and added a great sense of setting and character. I would have enjoyed to hear more of Benjamin talking, as you say he was eccentric and he liked having no electric or water - dialogue could have shown that really well! Thanks again.

“CATHY! CATHY! Come here, NOW!”

“What’s wrong mom? Are you okay?”

“Don’t you have anything to tell me?”

“Mom, it’s 6 in the morning, I was sleeping! Whatever it is, can’t we talk later?”

“I’m going to ask you again, and I recommend you to answer this time. Is there something you feel you should tell me?”

“I, um, no.”

“Are you 100% sure? You better confess it than me discovering it”

“Gosh, mom! It’s 6 am! What on earth are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about the mess in the tavern. Food on the floor, the cushions of the sofa torn and feathers everywhere! CATHY!”

“What? In the tavern?”

“Stop pretending! Did you throw a party last night?”

“No! I didn’t of course!!”

“The first time I spend the night out I find an unbelievable mess when I return and my 17 years old daughter, who was the only one in the house, tells me she doesn’t know anything about it!”

“Mom, I didn’t say I don’t know anything about it, I told you I didn’t throw a party”

“What happened then? Oh my god! Thieves! Are you all right?? Why hadn’t I thought of that! I’m sorry, I know you would never do something like that! Have you called the police? What have they taken?”

“Mom, mom, stop. No parties, no thieves. Calm down.”

“Then what..?”

“I wasn’t alone last night”

“Cathy! I thought we had already talked about this! No boys allowed!”

“No no, I know. I just..found a dog! It’s so cute, so adorable! Please mom, please, can we keep it?”

“A dog??”

“Please, please, please!”

“Okay. But...you’re moving in the tavern.”

"Okay, fine. I'll bite. What is it?"

"Huh? It's nothing. Don't worry about it."

"Look, I can see you want to tell me something. Why don't you just come right out and say it."

"There's nothing for me to say. Why would you think there is?"

"Hm, maybe it's because you won't look me in the eye. And you keep fidgeting under the table."

"I never look people in the eye. You know that. It freaks me out."

"Fine, but you never fidget. Why won't you just tell me?"

"There. Is. Nothing. To. Say!"

"Oh, as if. Tell me."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because there is absolutely nothing that I have to tell you."

"Well then, why are you fidgeting constantly? Obviously you do have something to tell me."

"Maybe I do. But that doesn't mean I have to tell you, now does it?"

"No, but I would like you to. We promised no secrets in this relationship. Please?"

"We did promise no secrets, didn't we. Well then, why don't you tell me about that cigarette packet I found in the bin? Or the stench of smoke on your jacket?"

"That wasn't me! I quit smoking when I met you. I swear. Besides, this conversation isn't about me. It's about you, so quit changing the subject. Why won't you tell me? Is it something bad?"

"Why does this have to be about me? Why don't we turn it into a free for all. We could spend all night accusing each other of things. I know that I have plenty of ammunition against you."

"Please, darlin'. I'm just worried, is all. I don't want it to be something awful. I don't want you to be hurt. And I don't want us to get hurt."

"I know, but I don't want to have to tell you. Just not right now. Can we wait?"

"No! I've seen you fidgeting and avoiding the topic like it's the plague, so it's obviously something big. Are you sick?"

"No, not exactly."

"Not exactly? What do you mean?"

"Well, I wouldn't call it sick. Can we not talk about this now? Please?"

"Sweetheart, I don't want this to end up to be something big and potentially dangerous. Can we please just get this out in the open."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to. Because I want to wait until the time is right. Because I don't want you to get angry."

"You don't want me to get angry? Was it something awful then?"

"No."

"No? Then why are you worried about me getting angry? Please, darlin', I'm begging you. I'm really worried now."

"Can't you just wait! It's nothing that will tear our relationship apart! It's just...an inconvenience for the moment!"

"Please. Tell me. I want, no, I need to know."

"And I don't want you to know. And it's my private buisness. We don't have to know everything about one another all the time!"

"I know. But I'm scared now."

"Well that's your fault. You're the one who brought the topic up."

"I know I did. But as I've said over and over again, it's only because I'm worried about you!"

"Well you shouldn't be. It's nothing that can hurt or harm me. It's just something that I want to be sure of before I go announcing it."

"Wait. You want to be sure of it? Darlin', are you -"

"I'm pregnant."

Just wondering, no more challenges?

Guidelines

- You have 15 minutes for this challenge. Time yourself using a stopwatch or use the helpful link provided by FurryPanda on page 1.
- You must have a minimum of 500 words, but try not to exceed 1,500.
- Copy and paste straight onto this thread. Do not edit or rewrite your piece. Spelling, grammar and punctuation can be revised but without a dictionary and such.
- Try and write an new piece of work for this challenge!

Good luck!

Dammit, love stories are what I do best ! Thinking outside the box is too much effort, but hopefully I'll come up with something good so that I can give this a go. Good prompt- ingenuous, but not too out there.

Haha, I'm the same with love stories, and I think a lot of people are, so I decided to make them break out of that :P.
Unfortunately I cannot edit the title of this thread, so unless people look inside, they won't know there's a new challenge.
Soooo, keep posting people!

I'm with Rabid, I'm best with love stories, plus I like to take my time at writing so this story might be going all over the place I'm horrible with grammar too, so sorry about the sentences that might be running a world lap.

A sly wink and a cheeky smile was all it took to push him, to make him motivated, to fire him up and lead him to victory. Jack and Davis where always challenging each other, butting head on things from who could spot the most stray buttons to who could climb the farthest. Davis always took up a good challenge, how could he not when Jack always challenged him in front of everyone; say no and be a coward, of course not.
Though it was parallel for both, Jack would have done the same if Davis imposed it on him. Davis and Jack were twins, not maternal or fraternal, but twins, born on different months, different days, and even different from parents. They were twins; twins with the same thoughts, the same motivation, and the same goals—twins, who shoved back when anyone even thought of attempting to push. Neither would give, and neither could beat the other, they were both yin and yang, no matter what.
Davis felt that he won, but in reality he lost; In this running match, Jack was the fastest, but he was the one who tripped, and Davis past the flag, but in that one look, that sly wink and cheeky smile, David knew Jack fell on purpose; the crowed saw a loser in Jack, but Davis saw mockery, how could he enjoy his win when Jack purposefully threw the game. No, Jack might be the fastest at running, but tomorrow, Davis would be the winner in swimming.

Its short too though that's as good as I could think of without romance and crap, welp, that's my fifteen minutes of writing.

hmmm small prodlem when i write a story if i like what i'm writeing i could go at it for hours and hours but if i do it dased around something or a limit on what i can do. oh and i cannot nor write love storys, they are they common if i am right and decides i write fiction lots of it.