Lame title, yes. Anyways, I was bored and thought I'd make a thread for this group. What do your various, uh, illnesses make you do? Ways you think, things you do, things you can't do, ways you do things, etc.. I figured this would be best for people with OCD.

One of my major issues is that I can't decide on ANYTHING permanently. My mind seems to have two settings when making a decision or doing something: freak out/panic mode, and "It's fine, let's go for it"/"I can do it, no problem" mode. I switch between those in seconds, and it gets on my nerves and sometimes interferes with my life.

For example: Today my best friend wanted me to do something I hate doing on a game. I've never done it before and it scares me because I don't know how. She is an expert in this activity and said she would help me. She knows I have this decision issue, but she doesn't understand it. So we started the thing, and right away I started to freak. I had no idea what to do, even with her telling me. I just sat there while she kept telling me to try, and I could tell she was getting annoyed. Near the end of the thing, I explained to her my problem, and she said she didn't understand it. Then it ended and she just said, "I'm leaving, night." and left before I could say goodbye. Of course, now that I'm not actually doing it, I'm thinking, "Wow, I really could've at least tried..." but of course at the time, that hadn't crossed my mind.

I got a little too into that, huh? XD Anyways, I also have this incredibly strong fear of being embarassed, laughed at, yelled at, and so on, and I can't just suck it up and tell people what's wrong.

So.. what does your head make you do?

I doubt insomnia is a mental disorder or serious sickness, but If i don't sleep for at least two days, I start acting ditzier. I misread things, I don't understand them completely and all together become slow in the head. I also start mistyping and mixing words up. I'm ditz as it is, but lack of sleep does not help me xD

Well, when I was about 5 years old, a ghost of agirl (I suppose she was in my head) said me things. Things that my head said me constantly. Things like "kill your parents", "now, take that knife, you know what you have to do..." or "kill yourself". It was really hard to live with it because I was only a child.
Now, I can't see that ghost, who said me that I have to kill, but sometimes I stare at a knife, and I remember that girl's voice. I take the knife and when I gonna use it my mother comes to the room or I wake myself. Other times, if I'm in my balcony I want to jump and begin to get on tiptoes.

You can guess that I have suicidal tendencies... Damn, I hate me...

My warped mind has sabotaged every relationship I've ever had.
My mind is dark, secluded. It wasn't until 8 months ago when I actually saw light.
I live in constant fear of myself, I'm afraid to show real emotions towards anyone.
I have a split personality, one side is a carefree artist with love for all, the other is a hateful masochist.
I'm embarrassed to show anyone anykind of imperfection, You guys are the first to know the truth

But hey, you guys won't judge me right~?
Luv you <3

Oh! Me too!!! (<-- everything that you said about bipolar personality and that about show what I feel/think)

I'm not alone!?
I hate being miserable...