Here's mine (my previous signature):
''It's true. Really. But i don't care about user's head explosion, game problems after doing anything of the above, or any other H-Bomb related problems. Call instead an ambulance. And if that fails, don't care; i think you'd be veery better at heaven.''

And our thumbnail full sized:

Ooooooooooook

How do you know that a blonde's been using your computer?
There's liquid paper on the screen

How do you know that she's used it again?
There's writing over the liquid paper

There's a blonde and a brunette and they both jump off a building at the same time, who will land first?
The brunette; because the blonde has to stop and ask for directions on the way down.

Three priests are talking one day. They're from different religions but that doesn't stop them from sitting and talking about everything under the sun. At some point however they begin talking about their churches and what they do with the collection money.

"We draw a line on the ground" started the Jewish priest. "Then we stand in the middle and throw the money up in the air. Whatever lands on the left side, we keep, whatever falls on the right, we give to god."
"That's similar to what we do!" Said the catholic priest. "except we draw a circle and keep what ends up on the outside. What do you do?" He asked the orthodox priest who replied
"Well, we throw the money up too... "
"And?"
"Whatever falls down, we get to keep, whatever stays up, god can keep."

XD

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, who's sitting outside your front door?
Mat

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, who's in the middle of a pool?
Bob

What do you call a guy with no arms, and no legs, who's sitting on a tree?
Russel

What's the time when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence

rude jokes



end of rude jokes

A guy's sitting on the couch watching tv when the program is interrupted for an urgent news report. The news anchor tells of how in a nearby highway, a vehicle is heading in the wrong direction, against the oncoming traffic. The guy calls his blonde girlfriend on her mobile phone and he says "Hey you'll never believe this! There's this massive idiot on the highway who's driving in the wrong direction"
to which his girlfriend replies "I KNOW! THERE'S HEAPS OF THEM!"
XD

I know a few other ones too bu I can't think of them now... plus most are too rude X_X anyway c'mon guys! post your jokes!

O__________o How many hours took you to write that!!
o_____________O

Oh, please, the rude ones, use a spoiler.