Cash for Flunkers

Hi there, My name is George Leno, I am supposed to be Jay Leno ,
but due to difficulties in the the exchange, he was not available,
so you are stuck with me, his Cousin George Leno.


You have my sincerest Apologies.



But anyway, on with the show.


Several months ago the government came up with the program called "Cash For Clunkers".
It was a great idea. So we recently came up with our own version , Called "Cash For Flunkers!"
Yes , now you can trade in your D and F students for "New School Efficient Students"!
You also get a $4,500 tax credit! These kids will pay for themselves with there first A+ report card.



Lets meet a couple that will be applying for the "Cash for Flunkers Deal."
Please welcome my brother and his lovely wife John and Betty Leno!

Hey George , thank you for having us on the show. We are very interested in this
"Cash for Flunkers Deal." Our kids are terrible students and they behave like a bunch
of punks, even though they have not been brought up that way.






We don't know what to do George? Please help us.

Well, lets meet the little Flunkers shall we.
First, we have Charlie here. He says he hates school and never wants to go again.
He has flunked the 8th grade three times now.

"So Charlie, can you tell me why you hate school so much?"



"Duhhh, I don't know! Cept I think it's stupid and a waste of my time. I would
rather hang out with my friends and smoke weed all day. Maybe start a band."




"Its so nice to hear that you do have some ambitions. A band could be a good idea, do you sing or play a instrument?"

"No I cant sing very good and I cant play anything Uncle George. But some
day I am gonna git me a guitar and then I gonna rock out!"
"How about Lyrics, can you write them?"
"Whats a Lyric?" Charlie asked.
"Lyrics are the words to a song." George answered.
"Ahhh, nope I don't go for that mushy stuff."

Well, how about if you and your Dad go down and see what I have in the garage for you.

Go on in son and see whats in there for you.

Wow, a yellow Corvette!! Cool!



"Hey, who are you guys? What are you doing? No! Let me go.!
"Cash for Flunkers ?" No, I promise I'll do my homework... Noooooo!



When that door opens we will see what John got for his trade on "Cash for Flunkers".


Okay, time for the moment of Truth.



The door is opening!



Wow! Look at that trade!



So, this is our new "School Efficient Student", Charlie.
That kid looks like he gets straight A's.


"Hi Dad, how are you doing?"





So, come on back for Part Two.



When we meet Stabby Abby.



"See you later for Part Two of "Cash For Flunkers"!


{Author's note: Hi everybody, thanks for reading my story.
I had to go back and reshoot some pictures because about half were missing.
I tried to make my new characters as close as possible to the old ones. Thanks
for your patience
I also want to say always back up your photos because I posted this story
on Simmers Garden but they got all mad at me and deleted my stories causing
me to again lose most of my pictures. They did this on purpose for revenge.
This is from a so called Christian Forum. Writer's beware.}

Cash for Flunkers part 2 Meet Stabby Abby

Welcome Back




Hi there, I am George Leno and welcome back to Part Two of "Cash For Flunkers!"




Let's welcome back again my brother John and his wife Betty Leno.





Hi George , thanks for having us back again.



"Hi George, we are very happy with our first trade. Now we would like to trade our daughter Abigale. We used to call her Abby for short. But she has been calling herself Stabby."
http://i1258.photobucket.com/albums...pg?t=1395283106
"Why is she calling herself Stabby?".

http://i1258.photobucket.com/albums...pg?t=1395283926
"Because she likes to pierce things George, ANYTHING!"





"Hence the name Stabby Abby. I get it now."



"Folks, would you please welcome, Stabby Abby!"




"Oh wow! Am I on TV now?"



"Did you know there is a full free bar back stage? It's just like the last Punk Rock concert I went to."




"Hello Stabby, I see you found the booze. Why don't you have a seat on the couch over there next to your Mom."




"Ok, Uncle Georgie."




"Ahh, this is a comfy couch."



"George as you can see she dresses like a Tramp."




"I also doubt she is still a virgin."




"Have your tried talking to her about it?"




"About what George, the dressing like a Tramp or the not being a Virgin?"




"Well, both the Tramp and the Slut part, I suppose."




"Yes and I just give up! So I want to trade her."





Stabby Abby has passed out on the couch.





Well, let's wake her up and get on with the "Cash For Flunkers"!
Hey, Stabby Abby, wake up! Unky George has a surprise for you down in the garage.
Go on down there with your Mom and see what we have for you.



"Huh, something for me? Damn, I hope its a car!"




"I'm sure you will be surprised!"




"Well, come on Mom, you old bag, let's go get my car so I can blow this joint."




"Ewwwww, I don't feel so good."




"I think I drank to much Jack Daniel's."




Erp erp erp




She does this all the time, always coming home drunk and puking all over the place.




Well, let's get her downstairs before she barfs all over the place.





"Don't fall down the stairs, Abigale," her mother warns.
"Mom, you stupid bitch, I told you my name is Stabby!"





Cool, it looks like a yellow Corvette!




"Awesome! I am so out of here!"





"Go on in and try it out, Honey."




"Shut up, Mom!"




"Cool, its brand new!"




"Hey, who are you guys? Let go of me. I'm going to stab you with my knife."
"Not so fast!", says a man's voice, and he takes the knife away from Stabby Abby before she knows what happens.
"What do you want?" Stabby Abby screams.
"Well, Stabby Abby, you have been traded in on "Cash For Flunkers", and since you have flunked every class you have, your parents have decided to trade you in on a 'New School Efficient Student' Oh yeah, you also suck as a human being."




"But I did my homework a couple of times. What will happen to me?"
"Oh, you will be traded to a family in South Africa that needs a child that does not want to go to school, so they have lots of time to work out in the fields, and help harvest the crops and tend the goats."
"Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!" she screams.





Don't worry folks, none of the children are harmed, but simply traded to families in third world countries who have children that actually want to go to school. So it works out nice for everybody.





Let's go and see what trade we got for Stabby Abby.





Betty looks a little nervous.




Holy Cow! What a beautiful trade. I think we have another winner here.





But does mom approve?




Yes, she accepts the trade wholeheartedly.




"I love you mom!"





"I like school better than milking cows and shoveling manure all day."




"So Betty, what do you think of your New School Efficient daughter, Abigale?"



"All I can say is good-bye Stabby Abby'! We love "Cash For Flunkers!" What a great deal!"




I have to agree, the old Stabby Abby was down right scary.




"The "New School Efficient" Abby is great! I feel safe around her already.
Thanks "Cash For Flunkers!"





"We hope you enjoyed Part Two of "Cash For Flunkers".
Please join us for the final episode of Cash For Flunkers tomorrow when , John and Betty make their final trade."




We will be meeting Little Johnny.




That's all the time we have for today. We will see you next time on the final episode of "Cash For Flunkers!"

BY any chance can you trade two of my step-sisters? I want the evil ten year old twin and the oldest.

Hi there, I am George Lenno and welcome to the
Comments Section of my show.
Please welcome two awesome guests.



"Please lets all say Hello to Limes N peppers."



"And LittleWierdo."

"You both have some very interesting screen names.
I really like that. Well Done and great choice."



"I have to ask you both a question. Are you
two perhaps related by Marriage?"



"Even if you are not related at all still feel free to answer this question
for me."

I know we are just getting into winter but it is never to soon to think
about Summer Camp.
My question is "Which Summer Camp would
you send your sibling to? Your choice and all expenses are paid.
The camps are for the entire summer. On the last day of school
a Prison Bus on loan to the Summer Camps will pick your
sibling right up from school. No long goodbyes or anything.
So please choose wisely, you might end up on a bus also.


If you are not Lemons N' Pepper or Littlewierdo you are still welcome to vote. Just post it as a comment.



Lets give it up for Lemons N'Pepper and Littlewierdo for
inspiring this addition to the comments section.
Thank you so much, I look forward to your answers.
That's all the time we have for now folks, hope to
see you next time in the
"Comments Section."

Hello, Limes N'Peppers and Littlewierdow.
Thank you for answering my questions about Summer Camp for your siblings.
I appreciate the input.

Limes N'Peppers you have my sincerest apologies for calling you Lemons N'Pepper.
I want you to know that I blame my Teleprompter entirely.
It has been Fired and thrown into the trash. smile.




Thats all the time I have for tonight, I was out Trick or Treating for thousands of miles and I'm pooped.
I hope to see you all back here for the next and final episode of Cash for Flunkers.

A special thank to Limes N'Peppers and Littlewierdo
Thank You so much for participating
in the Comments Section.
Please join us again in the Comments Section when I ask
"What should Santa bring the Naughty kids of the North Pole?"

Stay on the "Good List" and have a Great Night.

Cash for Flunkers part 3.

Hi there, I am George Leno and welcome back for
Part Three of "Cash for Flunkers!"



Please welcome back for the third time my
brother and his wife John and Betty Leno!



"Hi George, I just want to say this has been an incredible two days."




"Oh, we are so plleeezed with our two "New School Efficient Students"
We are actually proud to be parents again.




"All thanks to "Cash For Flunkers!"




"Yes George, I feel quite refreshed from the whole experience."





"So does that mean that you are ready for your
Final Trade on "Cash For Flunkers?"




"George, I don't know if we are ready to trade in Little Johnny."




I don't know either, now with the other two under control.
He doesn't seem as bad. Or maybe it's not even that; he does
not seem like the other two. We would like to request a DNA test on him.




"A DNA test? What exactly do you mean? I'm a little confused here."





"Well, the day he was born up at Sim General Hospital, there was
also a Lady Pirate in there that had a baby boy also. She gave birth to
her baby boy even in the same hour that I gave birth to my son.
The father of the Pirate Lady's baby was none other than
"Captain Jack Black Sparrow." I know because I seen him
there visiting his wife and baby."




"Oh no!! You don't think that the babies somehow got mixed up?
How do you think something like this could of happened?"




"We are not exactly sure, but we think the gas leak coming from the
hot water heaters in the basement might of had something to do with it."




"Everybody was a little goofy that day. We suspected something at first
then just ignored it and loved our son.
But then one day Little Johnny watched the "Pirates of the Caribbean"
and it was all over with. He just sort of remembered who his supposed
to be, I think.



"Hhhhhmmmmmmmmm?"




"Let's go ahead and meet little Johnny."




"Hi there, little Johnny. How are you today?"





"Oh, I'm fine Uncle George. These chips are really good."




crunch crunch , crunch!








"BUuuurrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppp!!!!"




"See I told you these were good chips!
When I burped it made a green stink cloud."




mmmmm




"So tell me Johnny, do you like school?"



"Watch what I can do!"




"Yippy! I'm sailing into the sky!"




Boing!




Boing!





"OK, wow, you sure can jump. Lets have you go
and sit over by your Mom, so we can put you on TV."



"Come on, Johnny."
"OK mom, here I come."




"Am I on TV now, Uncle George?"





"Yeah, you sure are kid. Now what is your favorite thing to do?"
"I like playing Pirates, Uncle George. I wish I could be on a
real Pirate ship."





"So which would you rather do? Go to Pirate School or be on
a real Pirate ship?"




"I can't choose between the two of those."




"That's like choosing between Mom and Dad. Impossible."




"If I could go to Pirate School, I would be a A+ student.
I know I don't do so well in my grades here.I hope I don't get traded in,
but if I do I will understand and I hope I get to go to a Pirate family."




"Do you love your Mom and Dad?"



"Yes, they are the best."




"What would you do if you could have another set of parents
who were real Pirates?"





"Mom and Dad, what does he mean? Am I adopted or something?"




"Well, we are not exactly sure. We think you might of been
mixed up with another baby at the hospital the day you were born."




"Wow! That is so cool and it could explain allot."




"How do we find out, Uncle George?"




"We just need a gallon of your blood and
all the skin off of your lips! muahaahaa!"




"Ahhhhh! Not my blood! My lip skin, help Mommy!!"





"Just kidding, Johnny. We only need a few strands of hair
and a cotton swab brushed on the inside of your mouth.
It wont hurt at all, I promise.



"Oh that's a relief! Hey, I have to go to school now the bus is here.
I want to try to do better in school for my Mom and Dad."




"What a nice kid you are Johnny. See the nurse on your way
out about that blood, okay?"




Yikes!




Unfortunately that's all the time we have for today. It looks like
we will have another show or two off of "Cash For Flunkers",
where you can trade in your D and F student for a
New School Efficient Student.
Join us to tomorrow, as we will have the DNA results for Little Johnny
and find out if indeed he was mixed up at the hospital when he was
born and is possibly the son of Captain Jack Black Sparrow.
See you tomorrow on, "Cash For Flunkers!"

Cash for Flunkers part 4.

The Final Part.




Hi there! My name is George Leno and welcome to
the Final Episode (finally) of "Cash For Flunkers!", the show where you can
trade in your D and F student for a more
"School Efficient Student!"
We have had a very interesting show-off of this Spoof-of-a-Spoof Show.
We have turned up a possible case of Baby Mix-Up at the hospital.



Let's welcome back all of our guests. Starting with my
brother and his wife - John and Betty Leno and their son,
the child in question, Little Johnny.




I'm going to burn this dress when I get out of here.





"Thanks, George. We are so ready for the DNA results."




"Hi, Uncle George. I like those other Pirate people.
Are they ones you think I got mixed up with?"
"We will get to that in just a minute sport."





"Folks please also, welcome the one and only Captain Jack Black Sparrow
and his lovely wife Laura and their son, Jack Jr."





"Ahoy maaytey ,thanks for the ride in the limo Mr.Leno we very much
enjoyed the free bar." Says Captain Jack Sparrow.



"I am very glad that you enjoyed the ride over here
this morning Jack. The bar never closes in the back of a limo.
Not even at 6am in the morning. OK, well moving on, I have
the results from the DNA test here in my hand. The test results
for Little Johnny and Jack Jr.



hmmmmmmmmmm???





"Oh honey , I'm so nervous."




"Is there anything anyone wants to say before I read the results?"





"Get on with it man!!!!!!!!!!!!!"




"OKaaaaayyy, anyone else?"




"Yes, I would like to tell Jack Jr. that we love him no matter what the results."




"Mom and I love you too, son."



"Thanks Dad."
"Oh gag, I think I need need to fart and have some more rum,
get on with the results man!" demanded Jack Sparrow losing his patience.




"There is a lotta love in this room right now."




"So, are you all ready for the Moment of Truth?"




"Here are the DNA results for Little Johnny and Jack Jr."




"Folks, there was no mix up at the hospital,
these children really do belong to you!"




"Those little Flunkers are all yours!"


"Thanks so much for joining me on "Cash for Flunkers,"
your a Great Audience please tune in for my next show
some time in the future. Speaking of time that's all we have for tonight.
Thanks so much for joining us and have a fantastic time wherever you are.