Lux had f*ckd up. He’d known it the moment the words had left his mouth. ‘I love you Rina Harrington.’ He mumbled to himself, in a mocking tone. What an idiot. He knew he had a reputation for being reactive, but he also had never felt like he wasn’t in control. When he’d said that, he’d surprised even himself.

Was it true? He stared out at the fields surrounding his house and sighed. He’d never been in love. Never really cared to be. He liked things the way he had them. He had no idea why suddenly his feelings for Rina were more. And WHY her? Was it because she was unattainable? He let out another sigh and leaned his head back against the brick wall, staring up into the sky. This was not going to end well.


“I had a lot of fun tonight.” Gerald smiled at his wife, Beth, swaying to the music in their small hallway upstairs.

“You just like to see how the other half lives from time to time.” She winks at him.

“Other half?” He laughs. “You mean the one percent. If half of us lived that way, the world would implode.” He grins and pulls her closer.

“It is fun to pretend to be fancy though.” He says after a while. She chuckles in agreement.




“Anthony seems nice.” Dirk tells me. He has a look on his face that I can’t quite read.

“He is.” I tell him. “I met him the first day, ditching class.” I smirked, hoping to get a smile out of Dirk but he seems to have gone all serious on me.

“Maybe I shouldn't be up here?” He asks cautiously. “I don’t want to ruin anything...if you’re...and Anthony might…” He’s bumbling.

“I’m not dating Anthony.” I state clearly. “Just friends. AND if I WAS dating Anthony - I think maybe kissing you in front of him would have changed things quickly.” I try smiling at him again.


“Yeah, but if you guys are headed that way. Lilith, you seem happy here. I don’t want to mess that up.”

I think for a moment. “I am happy here. And I really like Anthony. But friends only. Really.”

He nods, but I can tell he’s not entirely convinced.

“You came here for something.” I say quietly. I know he didn’t just come for a visit. He’d have called first. Something’s up. I start to put it together. Does he WANT me to be with Anthony? Is HE with someone else? Is that why he’s come? Maybe I’d messed things up for him. My heart starts to beat faster and I feel nauseous. I know we broke up. I KNOW he won’t be single forever. But I’m not ready for this.


“Yeah, have you talked to your parents lately?” He asks. He looks nervous. What did my parents have to do with this? Had they seen him with someone else? I shake my head and he sighs. He starts and stops himself a few times and I wish he’d just spit it out before my heart explodes.

He takes a deep breath. “Kaylynn Langerak is pregnant.”

It takes a moment for the words to register because they are so far from what I’d expected.

“What?”

“She’s living at your house. With your dad. She’s pregnant. They’re…” He pauses. “They’re getting married.”

I shake my head for a moment and let the information sink in. My dad was having a baby with the maid? Did my mom know? OUR house? Dirk WASN’T seeing someone else? I sigh with relief at that and he’s looking at me, waiting for a reaction.

“I thought you were going to tell me you were…” I start. I feel my cheeks blushing. “I thought you were going to say you were seeing someone.”


“Aww Lil, you know I’m not ready for that.” He says quietly. I nod. Me either.

“You really haven’t talked to your parents, huh?”

I shake my head. It’s not something I’d thought about but sitting here with Dirk, talking about it made it seem as absolutely absurd. How had we gone from our family in Pleasantview to this?


He steps closer, cautious. He’s worried and I miss this. Someone who cares. For real. When he leans in to kiss me, I don’t hesitate. His arms wrapped tightly around me. It’s so familiar, so achingly comforting, I could cry.

“Stay?” I ask when we pull apart. I’m sure he’d already decided to but I ask anyway. He chuckles and nods.


We curl up and lay quietly. Dirk dozes off first and I just watch him. Brush a piece of hair off his face. It’s longer than I remember. It’s cute. I close my eyes. I don’t want to fall asleep. I know he’ll have to leave in the morning. I just want this to last forever.


“You have to go.” Violet whispers against his lips. She really doesn’t really want him to but she feels strange, having the girls see him there first thing in the morning.

“I think they know we’re dating.” He chuckles.

“Are we?” She asks and he pulls back.

“Aren’t we?” His face has gone serious and she regrets saying it. He carefully moves her off of him and gets up off the bed.

“Damn it, Violet.” He says, starting to get dressed to leave.


“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” She stops. “I just meant we should talk about this.” She moves closer to him, trying to repair the moment.

“Then talk.” He states.

“Not now. The girls are…”

“your excuse.” He finishes for her. “We’re adults. Me staying the night isn’t going to shock them. It’s fine. Let me know when you want to talk.” He states, moving towards the door. He turns back and looks at her, then shakes his head and walks out.


“I gotta go.” Dirk whispers quietly. It’s still early but sunlight is starting to trickle in. His hand his on my waist and I don’t move.

“I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

“I don’t care if I get in trouble.”

He chuckles at that but starts to get up. I groan in resistance.


We’re both still dressed from the night before. I get up with him and give him a squeeze.

“I miss you.” I tell him, and the words don’t do the feelings justice. I more than miss him. I ache for him. Having new friends is great but it’s nothing like this.

“I know. I miss you too.” He kisses my nose and I make a face.

“When you left we…” He pauses.

“Broke up?” I guess. He nods.

“Are we still?”

“Broken up?” I ask. I think for a moment.


“We have to be, don’t we?” I say quietly. “I mean, we can’t date. This is the first time we’ve seen each other in months.”

He nods again. I can tell he’s unsure. I am unsure too. Maybe we could make it work? I also know that he is social, and sweet and romantic, and I don’t want to keep him from that. I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.

“I think we’re still broken up.” I whisper. Another nod from Dirk. He pulls me in for another tight hug and when it’s time to pull apart I feel tears welling up.

“Love you, Lil.” He says, sneaking out of my room.

What the hell was I doing?


As Dirk heads out the front door he runs into a blond man, also sneaking out. He gets a look and gives a look back. At least HE had gotten dressed before creeping out of the house.

“Violet was hoping the girls wouldn’t see me.” he says to Dirk. Dirk shrugs.

“I won’t tell if you don’t?” A nod from the man, and they head their separate ways.


“Rough night?” Gerald teases Lux who looks half asleep and hasn’t said anything since the family had sat down to breakfast. Beth and Stephen also look at him. They’d all come in late but Lux was the only one who looked like he’d been suffering for it. They were used to early mornings on the farm.


“He’s just out of sorts because he’d had hopes of hitting on Rina Harrington.” Snorts Stephen. “And I’m guessing from his lack of bravado this morning...he struck out. What a shock.”

“Rina Harrington?” Beth looks at her son with disapproval. Lux just shrugs. He hadn’t even meant to say anything to his brother the other day. He’d hoped Stephen would forget.

“Please tell me he’s joking.” Beth says. Her intense gaze pushing Lux to answer.


“Oh come on, Beth. Stephen is just teasing.” Gerald says, though his look says he’s not sure.

“Sorry Lux. She’s literally the most un-eligible woman on the planet. She’s married to the hottest movie star. She owns one of the most powerful companies on the planet. She’s not slumming it with you. You can’t seriously think you stood a chance?” Stephen is watching him closely. HAD his brother thought he’d stood a chance?

“Just drop it.” Lux says. The other three just stare at him.


When it’s quiet for too long, he finally sighs. “I’m just tired. Ok? That’s it. Nothing else. Not scorned by love. Not bummed out. Just tired. That’s allowed, right?”

They resume eating cautiously. Beth watching her son carefully. She was going to have to have a talk with him if he was now chasing married women.