A few days after the party, Amelia invited me to sleep over one night. I accepted, knowing that sleepovers at the Meyer household are always full of interesting surprises.
Unlike last time I was there, Dream remembered to cook dinner that evening. After I'd dumped my overnight bag in Amelia's room, we both headed downstairs to the dining table to eat.
Dream was standing in the kitchen, humming and smiling as she sniffed a pot, which was cooking on the stove.
"What's that, Mum?" Amelia asked as we came into the kitchen/dining room.
"This, my dear, is kidney stew," Dream replied dreamily.
Amelia looked aghast. "What?"
"Kidney stew," Dream said again. "Herbs, spices, mixed vegetables, and goat kidneys."



Amelia swivelled to face me. "Don't worry," she said to me. "I'll make pizza."
I felt relieved. Bacon was one thing. Kidneys were entirely another.
"Maybe you should cook more often," I suggested to Amelia.
"Oh, I do," Amelia said. "I cook normal food for me and Artemis and Mystery most nights, since Mum is physically incapable of cooking anything, um, edible. I'm actually becoming a pretty good cook." She paused. "Home-made pizzas, chicken salad, and beef stroganoff are my specialties."
We didn't have to wait too long before Dream let out a piercing, mysterious birdlike cry ("That's her way of summoning us to dinner," Amelia explained as I covered my ears with my hands). Soon, family members came rolling in.
Artemis sniffed the air. "I smell the burning scent of an animal slain," he announced dejectedly.
"Take me away from me!" Mystery cried.
"Has this animal been killed and prepared according to the rules and regulations?" Arthur enquired, pointing at the stew.
"Certainly, dear," Dream said.
Amelia's eyes narrowed. "Wait, Dad," she said. "What rules and regulations?"
Arthur then proceeded to recite a long list of food preparation procedures from multiple and various religious texts. Amelia's eyes glazed over as he spoke.
"Still searching for truth?" I asked her, and she nodded.
Somehow, we all managed to sit down at the table and not run away from the plates set before us. After Dream sat down, we waited while Arthur gave thanks for the food to several different deities. It took a long time, after which Dream insisted on reciting a chant she'd read in a book somewhere.
Then we were permitted to eat.



"Don't touch it," Amelia warned me. "Trust me, she never gets offended."
Artemis looked sadly at his plate. "This kidney was once part of a living thing," he mourned, sullenly prodding it with a fork.
Mystery was also looking unhappily at her meal. "I'm frightened by what I see, but somehow I know that there's much more to come," she said.
"I'm making pizza later, guys," Amelia told them.
Artemis looked at her. "Vegetarian?"
Amelia nodded. "Yep. Whatever you like."
Artemis paused, then said, "Vegan?"
Amelia frowned. "Well, probably not," she said. "Vegetarian will have to do." Pause. "Since when did you become vegan, anyway?"
"Today," Artemis said.
Arthur was the only one of us who was actually eating the meal. He noticed his family's reluctance to join in, and said, "Look, it's only an illusion. If you have the knowledge that it doesn't taste bad, it won't. It's only an illusion. Reality is whatever you make it."
Suddenly, Dream cried out, clutching her throat. Amelia stood up suddenly, rushing over.
"Mum!" she said urgently. "What's the matter? Are you choking?"
"The forces," Dream replied breathily. "They're...they're coming!"
Amelia looked slightly exasperated, but rubbed her mum's shoulders comfortingly. "I'm sure they'll leave in a minute," she said encouragingly.
"No, they're here!" Dream insisted. She pressed her hands over her ears, knocking Amelia's arms out of the way. "They're here! I need my amulet!"
Amelia just kept looking at her mother with concern. "Why do you need your amulet, Mum?"
"I am at risk of being attacked by negative energy if I don't have it with me!" Dream said, distressed. She got up suddenly from the table to look for it, breathing rapidly and flapping her hands.
"There's no such thing as negative energy!" Arthur called after her. "It's only an illusion!"
Amelia glanced around, and saw a necklace lying on the kitchen bench. "I've found it, Mum," she called, holding up a necklace with some sort of dull gemstone attached to a silvery chain.
Dream hurried back into the room. "Oh, thank goodness," she murmured, clutching the necklace with both hands. "I could feel the energy rushing towards me, hot like fire…I must record it in my book of shadows." And she rushed out of the room again.
Amelia sighed. She seemed to decide that dinnertime, though unusually short, was over, and started collecting untouched plates of kidney stew from everyone - everyone except Arthur, it appeared, who was still bravely eating the meal, constantly muttering "illusion, illusion" between mouthfuls, his eyes darting wildly from side to side as he ate.
Meanwhile, Artemis had stood up and had slouched over to the fridge, where he let out a desperate cry. "There's no milk left in the fridge!" he gasped desperately, tears brimming in his eyes.



"Then run down to Lou's and get some more!" Amelia said. "And put down the butterknife!"
Artemis, looking thoroughly grieved, put down the butterknife with which he'd been preparing to cut himself again. He slouched out of the room in tears, with Mystery following.
"God," muttered Amelia.
"Don't take the Lord's name in vain!" Arthur yelled, and I jumped.
She ignored him, glancing in mild disbelief at the knife on the kitchen bench. "He can't even summon the courage to pick up a sharp knife. Hopeless."
"Do you want him to pick up a sharp knife?" I asked.
"Who said 'summon'?" Dream called from another room.
"No one," Amelia called. She sighed, tossed the knife back into one of the drawers, and looked at me. "What kind of pizza?"
"Whatever you want it to be," I said.
Amelia rolled her eyes at me. "Don't you start. Dad is bad enough. Never answers a question with a proper answer. It's a wonder I'm still sane in this place."
She ended up making two small vegetarian pizzas, and then added barbecued chicken pieces to one of them. While they cooked, we both stood in the kitchen chatting and occasionally having a brief pretend swordfight with the wooden spoons. Arthur eventually finished his kidney stew, put the plate in the dishwasher, and walked straight back to the library with a furrowed brow.
When the pizzas finally finished cooking, Amelia took them upstairs to the second floor. Artemis and Mystery insisted on staying in their own rooms, even when Amelia suggested we all eat together in the middle room. Amelia just sighed, split the vegetarian pizza in half, gave some to Artemis and some to Mystery, and then plopped herself down on the couch next to me, where we quickly finished off the chicken pizza.



"Ah," I sighed in satisfaction. "That definitely beats kidney stew."
"That's not the worst meal we've ever been served," Amelia said. "Mum tried deep-fried spiders once."
"Ugh!" I exclaimed. The pizza threatened to resurface for a minute. "How did you deal with that one?"
"Same way I deal with all the others," Amelia shrugged. "Don't eat them, and find something else to eat later. Like pizza. Or macaroni and cheese."
"Where'd she even get spiders from, anyway?" I asked.
Amelia shrugged. "Who knows."
The door to Artemis's room slowly opened, and he shuffled out, clutching his journal. "I've written a poem and I wonder if you could tell me what you think," he said quietly to me and Amelia.



Amelia shrugged. "Go for it," she suggested, slouching back on the couch.
He cleared his throat. "It's called 'The Milk Is Gone'."
Amelia rolled her eyes and I hid a smile as he started reading.
"My heart is a black abyss,
And as cold as snow.
Cut my soul and let it bleed,
Crimson sorrows flow.
The rose and its thorns
Are shattered
Lying broken and crushed.
Sadness and shadow.
My suicide in the dark.
Rain."
Artemis looked to us for an answer. "Well?"
"It's lovely, Artemis," I said. "Very deep."
"Thankyou," he said quietly, retreating back into his room and shutting the door once more. From behind Mystery's door, I could hear the mournful strains of Mystery singing something about 'going under' and 'drowning' and 'falling'.
"I think," Amelia declared, "it's time to retire to my room."
"I think that sounds like a good idea," I agreed.