Have you ever wanted to be a Crunchwrap Supreme™? Weird, but here's your chance!
This is my first attempt at CC. I mostly made it as a proof of concept for SimPAI, a web app I've been working on that reimplements parts of SimPE with a more modern touch. Hey look, it works!
There's a standard version with wages copied from the base Culinary career track, and there's a reduced wages version that cuts those in half (as I personally like to play with K-C's realistic payment mod). Both versions have the same GUID so only use one of them at a time!
Career levels
(1) Flour Tortilla
M T - - F S S | 10p - 4a | $126 / $60 (reduced)
(2) Seasoned Beef
M T - - F S S | 10p - 4a | $168 / $80 (reduced)
prereqs
body: 1
(3) Crunchy Tostada Shell
- T W - F S S | 10p - 4a | $183 / $90 (reduced)
prereqs
cooking: 2
body: 1
friends: 1
(4) Lettuce
- T W - F S S | 10p - 4a | $242 / $120 (reduced)
prereqs
cooking: 4
body: 2
friends: 2
(5) Tomato
- - W T - S S | 9a - 5p | $308 / $150 (reduced)
prereqs
cooking: 5
charisma: 1
body: 3
friends: 2
(6) Reduced-Fat Sour Cream
M T W - F - S | 9a - 5p | $469 / $230 (reduced)
prereqs
cooking: 6
charisma: 2
body: 4
friends: 4
(7) Nacho Cheese Sauce
M - W T F - - | 9a - 5p | $812 / $405 (reduced)
prereqs
cooking: 7
charisma: 3
body: 4
friends: 4
(8) Hot Sauce
M - - - F S S | 9a - 5p | $1208 / $600 (reduced)
prereqs
cooking: 8
charisma: 4
body: 4
friends: 5
(9) Grill
M T - - F - S | 12p - 5p | $1330 / $666 (reduced)
prereqs
cooking: 9
charisma: 4
body: 4
friends: 6
(10) Crunchwrap Supreme™
M T W T - - - | 12p - 5p | $2170 / $1085 (reduced)
Whoever is working the grill today must be new to the job - $Me has been overfilled! It’s not too late to salvage the situation, but it is a little risky. Stretching a bit to fit the extra ingredients could save time (and make for a happy customer) if it works out, but if $Me splits in the process he’ll have to start over with a new tortilla, wasting valuable time and not-so-valuable ingredients.
A: Try to stretch
B: Move extra ingredients to a new tortilla
Success A:
It was a delicate procedure, but the operation is a success! The kitchen keeps running like nothing happened and the customer gets a little extra bang for their buck. $Me feels much more confident in his wrapping abilities now and gains a cooking skill point.
Fail A:
$Me splits immediately, spilling a wet mixture of tomatoes, lettuce, and sour cream all over the hot grill. On top of wasting time, someone else is gonna have to clean that up and the drive-thru line is already seven cars long. Basically, everyone is really mad at $Me and who could blame them? $Me pays for the wasted Crunchwrap Supreme™ out of sheer embarrassment.
Success B:
$Me confides in the chef that he's not ready to handle so much filling so early in his career. No harm done! The chef, having started out as a tortilla, is very understanding and moves the extra filling to the next Crunchwrap Supreme™. $Me feels much more comfortable opening up to the chef in the future and gains a charisma skill point.
Fail B:
$Me confides in the chef that he's not ready to handle so much filling so early in his career. The chef, having started out as a tortilla, is very understanding and moves the extra filling to the next Crunchwrap Supreme™. Everything is going great until their sleeve catches fire and they sweep $Me onto the floor in a panic. No one wants a dirty Crunchwrap Supreme™ - $Me is fired!
(2) Seasoned Beef
A vegetarian customer comes in and they have a beef with beef. They want a vegetarian Crunchwrap Supreme™, and that means $Me will have to sit this one out. Or does it? One of $Me's coworkers is a vegetarian and keeps a bag of beef substitute in the freezer for their lunch break. They probably wouldn’t notice if a little bit went missing, and $Me might impress the higher ups with his culinary ingenuity.
A: “Borrow” beef substitute
B: Step aside and let black beans take over
Success A:
$Me borrows some beef substitute and his coworker is none the wiser. The customer is thrilled by the change of pace, and that excitement does not go unnoticed - apparently they’re considering adding $Me's recipe to the permanent menu! The customer leaves a tip, which $Me did not think was possible but no sense in complaining!
Fail A:
What $Me thought was beef substitute was actually Beef Substance Tute, which is aggressively non-vegetarian. The customer is arrested by the vegan police for their third vegan strike and $Me's coworker makes him pay to replace the Beef Substance Tute that he stole from the freezer.
Success B:
While the Crunchwrap Supreme™ is classically made with seasoned beef, black beans are a tried and true substitute - some customers even prefer it! $Me steps aside and lets the beans finish the order, and the customer leaves happy and satisfied. $Me didn’t even have to lift a finger!
Fail B:
While the Crunchwrap Supreme™ is classically made with seasoned beef, black beans are a tried and true substitute - some customers even prefer it! $Me steps aside and lets the beans finish the order, but the customer decides to take their order for here and develops a horrid flatulence. The putrid smog forces the restaurant to close for the rest of the day, taking a chunk out of $Me's pay.
(3) Crunchy Tostada Shell
A customer has ordered a Crunchwrap Supreme™ through a delivery app, but they’re right on the edge of the delivery radius. $Me knows that crunchy tostada shells can’t spend too much time in the car before losing their crunch. He considers telling his boss to cancel the order as a floppy Crunchwrap Supreme™ can be worse than no Crunchwrap Supreme™ at all, but it’s possible the order could be delivered in time as long as there are no other stops along the way.
A: Cancel the order
B: Take a chance on the delivery
Success A:
$Me cancels the order and includes an explanation hoping the customer is understanding. Luckily for $Me, this customer happens to be a renowned food critic who is working on an article about this Taco Bell location. Prioritizing food quality over profit has earned $Me a glowing review on their food blog, along with a paid interview.
Fail A:
$Me cancels the order and includes an explanation hoping the customer is understanding. Unfortunately they are furious and end up driving all the way to $Me's location to pick up their order themself, but not before having a heated exchange with $Me's manager. $Me is sent home early and loses the rest of the day’s pay.
Success B:
Though the customer’s address is right on the edge of the delivery radius, it’s a straight shot on the highway and the delivery driver makes it there with plenty of time to spare. $Me arrives in mint condition, crunchy and delicious, earning him a 20% tip and a 5 star rating.
Fail B:
It looks like the delivery driver is going to make it to the customer just in time, but on the last turn a semi-truck blazes through a stoplight and obliterates the driver along with the Crunchwrap Supreme™ in their care. It’s a real tragedy for everyone involved, but especially for $Me as he has to cover the funeral expenses for some reason.
(4) Lettuce
A massive lettuce recall has just been issued due to an e-coli outbreak, and $Me's supplier has been affected. $Me just arrived as part of a new shipment of lettuce in the other day and there’s no way to tell how long it’ll be until the next one. $Me will just have to serve Crunchwrap Supremes™ without lettuce until the recall is over… though what the customer doesn’t know won’t hurt them.
A: Continue serving recalled lettuce
B: Wait for the recall to end
Success A:
$Me continues to serve recalled lettuce without incident, and no one bats an eye about the fact that this is the only restaurant in a 100-mile radius serving anything leafy and green. In fact, the restaurant has never been busier! Extra customers means extra profit, and some of it even manages to make it down to $Me.
Fail A:
It turns out what the customer doesn’t know absolutely can hurt them. Hundreds of townspeople are struck with a mysterious illness, and it does not take long for the local news station to trace the origin right back to $Me. The city forces the restaurant to help cover relief efforts, and most of it ends up coming from $Me's paycheck.
Success B:
Though it pains $Me to do so, he decides to do the responsible thing and send himself back to the supplier. The Crunchwrap Supremes™ are less crunchy and the business takes a hit, but no one dies and $Me does get a refund from the lettuce supplier to make up for it.
Fail B:
It turns out the recall was actually an elaborate hoax engineered by a rival fast food chain! With no lettuce on hand, even $Me's most loyal customers end up eating there while he's stuck waiting for a new lettuce shipment to come in. No customers means no work, no work means no hours, and no hours means no pay.
(5) Tomato
The renaissance faire is in town, and they need a lot of tomatoes for audience members to chuck at talent show participants. $Me's restaurant is near the top of their list of tomato suppliers, but there’s a catch - the faire falls on earth day, and $Me knows that a lot of customers are going to want to make it fresco.
A: Donate yourself to the renaissance faire
B: Save yourself for earth day
Success A:
$Me cuts a deal with the faire promoters and they make it very well-known that all the tomatoes being thrown today come directly from $Me's kitchen. On top of that, they even let $Me set up a stand on the faire grounds and the people love it! $Me gains a charisma skill point for mastering the art of the deal.
Fail A:
$Me donates himself to the renaissance faire, but it ends up getting cancelled due to rain. A horde of faire attendees packs into $Me's restaurant for shelter and nourishment, but they all want to make it fresco and there aren't nearly enough tomatoes to fill all their orders. The faire promoters capitalize on the opportunity to sell $Me back to his own restaurant at a steep markup.
Success B:
$Me loves the renaissance faire, but he loves the earth even more - it is, after all, the planet Crunchwrap Supremes™ come from. He decides to save himself for earth day customers, and it’s a good thing he does because by the end of the day there’s nothing left!
Fail B:
$Me decides to err on the side of caution and save himself for his earth day customers. Unfortunately, all of those customers ended up at the renaissance faire instead. The faire ended up sourcing tomatoes from a rival restaurant, and after the talent show the restaurant workers direct the trash right into $Me's parking lot. He loses a cleaning skill point after coming home from work stinking of spiteful tomatoes.
(6) Reduced-Fat Sour Cream
Well that’s a new one - a customer has requested full-fat sour cream. $Me's restaurant hasn’t carried that for quite some time, but the customer is always right in matters of taste. $Me starts digging around the kitchen to see what he can do to give them what they want.
A: Use extra sour cream and reduce it on the grill
B: Add fat from the grease trap
Success A:
Well look at the little saucier - $Me tosses himself in a pot and gets to work, being very careful to keep himself stirred to prevent burning. With the mixture adequately reduced, he tries a taste of his creation and it tastes just like it should. $Me slops onto the Crunchwrap Supreme™ and gains a cooking skill point for his culinary craftiness.
Fail A:
That did not go so well. The grill was too hot, $Me didn’t stir enough, and he left himself on heat for too long. $Me burned, split, and boiled over, and not only is he inedible but he left a huge mess to clean up. $Me loses a cooking skill point for his ineptitude.
Success B:
This really shouldn’t have worked, but somehow the customer is thrilled with the result. They claim it’s the best sour cream they’ve ever had and they want to buy a gallon of it per week. Well, it’s basically like someone paying to clean out $Me's grease traps for him, so who is he to stop them?
Fail B:
What was $Me thinking? The resulting mixture is truly vile, but paralyzed by embarrassment he is unable to stop the customer from taking a bite out of his culinary catastrophe. The customer dies on the spot, face contorted in an agonized visage that will haunt $Me for the rest of his days. $Me quits his job and vows never to cook again.
(7) Nacho Cheese Sauce
Fresh out of the sauce pan and into the Crunchwrap Supreme™, $Me is like a diaper full of molten lava - hot, dangerous, and ready to explode. He just got handed to a starving customer who is craving a bite right now. It’s a very dangerous situation but one $Me has been trained for - there are a few tried and true methods for minimizing risk, but neither is fool-proof.
A: Unfold the Crunchwrap Supreme™ and let it cool off
B: Take a small bite and blow into the hole
Success A:
It takes a little patience, but it definitely pays off. After a minute or so of waiting $Me is the perfect temperature. The customer wraps him back up like a Christmas frisbee and goes to town. In the end, nothing is left but another satisfied customer.
Fail A:
The customer tries to open the Crunchwrap Supreme™ in the car and drops it on their lap sauce-side down. They scream in agony as their hard earned meal (and top layer of skin) disappears in an instant. Great, another lawsuit on the restaurant’s hands means another pay cut for legal fees.
Success B:
The customer carefully bites off a corner of the Crunchwrap Supreme™ and delicately blows into the hole like a classically-trained flautist. Bite by bite they compose their opus, an elegant litany of chewing and blowing, until the meal ends in a final crescendo of crushed up paper bags and sauce packets. $Me gains a creativity skill point from mere proximity to the spectacle that just unfolded before him.
Fail B:
The customer carefully bites off a corner of the Crunchwrap Supreme™, but upon blowing into the hole they eject a glob of molten cheese right out the other side. The plasmatic spurt burns indiscriminately through plastic, glass, and metal, eating a hole right through their car and igniting the gas tank underneath. By some miracle the customer survives, having been ejected seat and all from the wreckage and landing in a dumpster full of tortillas, but $Me does owe them a new car.
(8) Hot Sauce
A well-dressed patron strides in and orders a Crunchwrap Supreme™ with great dignity and confidence. They want it extra spicy, and as they slide their payment across the counter they slyly add that it had better actually be spicy this time. Looks like it’s $Me's time to shine.
A: Make it spicy
B: Go nuclear
Success A:
$Me makes it spicy but keeps it tasteful. The patron admires $Me's restraint, recognizing the delicate dance of pleasure and pain and the masterful hand it takes to maintain the balance between them. The dandy stranger absconds with a wink and a nod, leaving behind an atmosphere of tranquility and a small token of gratitude.
Fail A:
As $Me is making the Crunchwrap Supreme™ extra spicy, he starts to get nervous. Surely this is not what the dandy stranger truly wants. In a crucial moment of weakness $Me withholds the last of himself, and it proves to be his downfall. “Cowards, all” the patron proclaims in disappointment. As they leave, $Me feels a piece of himself leave with them and loses a creativity skill point.
Success B:
$Me bares his soul to the world and in a fit of passion and rage pumps more heat into the Crunchwrap Supreme™ than previously thought possible. Upon their first bite the patron’s eyes light up and a smile slowly creeps its way across their saucy lips. “There’s a fire in you alright,” the dandy stranger says knowingly. “Pain and anger, yes, but so too an unbridled ambition. There is beauty in destruction, for to unmake is to start anew.” Finally, someone understands. “Just as the forest must burn to make way for new life, the artist must continually efface themself in pursuit of enlightenment. This is no meal, this is a life distilled.” The patron leaves, the restaurant stunned into shocked silence. Few will believe what happened here today. $Me gains a creativity skill point.
Fail B:
$Me pours more heat into this Crunchwrap Supreme™ than anyone would deem reasonable. The patron grabs his order and leaves in a rush, hastily downing it between increasingly labored breaths. $Me can tell from his sweaty lip and tear-stricken eyes that he is in over his head, but $Me assures himself that this is what the customer asked for - it shouldn’t be too much of a problem as long as there’s a bathroom nearby. And then he sees it: the Taco Bell quarterly shareholder’s conference stage, and the well-dressed patron making his way to the podium. This isn’t just any customer, this is the Taco Bell CEO and he’s about to give a presentation with a time bomb in his bowels. $Me can only watch on in horror. It starts with a gurgle, a burp, a handkerchief dabbing at a sweaty forehead. But soon he sees the writing on the wall: a nervous shuffle, a clenched fist, a desperate glance to the heavens. There’s no stopping it - there never is. The crowd gasps as the CEO unleashes what the news would later call a firehose shooting mud. He’s rushed offstage, but the lingering smell is unmistakable - this assailant came from within the castle. The shareholders panic and sell off as much Taco Bell stock as they are able, tanking the share price and forcing company-wide layoffs. $Me, naturally, does not make the cut.
(9) Grill
Storm’s a-brewin’. Could be the storm of the century. Residents are advised to take shelter at home, board up their windows, and prepare for widespread power outages. As $Me prepares to do the same, a thought occurs to him - he's gas-powered. If there is a power outage he might be able to help a lot of desperate people to a hot meal.
A: Close up shop
B: Brave the storm
Success A:
Wow, what a storm! Thank goodness $Me closed down the restaurant, as the kitchen flooded in his absence and it would have been completely unusable even if he had been switched on. It’ll take some time to clean up, but insurance will pay for it and even cover $Me's lost wages!
Fail A:
$Me closes up shop, but the storm misses him entirely and hits the next town over. The town is devastated, and every night $Me is faced with scenes of displaced residents pleading for a Crunchwrap Supreme™ or at least a bean burrito. He could have been there for them, but now it will take some time to reopen. In the meantime the people will be forced to live without the one-handed convenience of a hot Crunchwrap Supreme™, and $Me will be forced to live with the weight of his decisions.
Success B:
The storm rages for hours, but even when the power goes out $Me keeps pumping out hot Crunchwrap Supremes™. Hundreds of residents caught out in the storm flock to his restaurant for shelter and sustenance, and when the weather finally clears $Me is celebrated as a local hero. After several news articles, TV interviews, and even a children’s book based on his story (The Little Grill That Could), the city designates the day of the storm an official holiday in $Me's honor and pays him handsomely for his service.
Fail B:
The storm rages and $Me bravely pumps out hot Crunchwrap Supremes™ for as long as he can. Even when the power does go out he is unfazed, but suddenly he hears the crashing of glass - a tree fell right through the drive-thru window. The wind picks up to a feverish pitch and glass flies all through the kitchen, ruining $Me's pre-made Crunchwrap Supremes™ and severing the gas line that feeds him. The restaurant fills with the smell of seasoned beef and natural gas, and he realizes he has to leave immediately. $Me wheels himself out into the gale just in time, as lightning strikes the restaurant behind him and blows the whole building to pieces. $Me manages to take shelter in a nearby ditch for the remainder of the storm, and when he finally gets a chance to look back at his cherished workplace there is nothing left. Luckily the higher ups don’t put all the blame for the disaster on $Me - what he did was brave, but pretty reckless. $Me manages to keep his job, but he does have to help pay for some of the repairs.
(10) Crunchwrap Supreme™
The Taco Bell marketing executive calls $Me up to pitch a new marketing campaign. There are two directions they feel they could take it, and they want his advice on how to proceed. One campaign leans into humor in an effort to capture the youth market, and the other relies on sexiness for an older crowd. $Me will even get to star in it, so choose carefully!
A: Go for some laughs
B: Sex sells baby
Success A:
$Me drops a few “what’s up with that?”s, a handful of “well that just happened!”s, and even a “he’s right behind me, isn’t he”, and viewers can’t get enough of it! Crunchwrap Supreme™ sales are through the roof and $Me is the talk of TV. He gets to do the whole morning talk show circuit and even star as the celebrity guest on Saturday Night Live. It doesn’t get much better than that, except it does because he gets paid for all of it.
Fail A:
The studio crew grimaces as $Me awkwardly fumbles through his lines for the ninth time. It seems like comedy is not his bag, and it’s pretty clear to everyone but him that the “you can’t say anything these days” angle he pushed is not going to win over any new customers. $Me insists that it’ll be fine and the editors can fix it up in post. They do the best they can but they don’t have a lot to work with, and when the commercial airs it’s a disaster. Even if it hadn’t been wildly bigoted, $Me's performance was unsalvageable and calls to boycott his brand come from every sector of media. $Me receives a bit of fringe praise from right-wing podcasters forced to pretend that his performance was “brave” and “pioneering” but not even their media-illiterate audiences are buying it. The company does its best to sweep the ordeal under the rug, but $Me loses a charisma point from the embarrassment.
Success B:
The lights go down, the clothes come off, and the camera rolls. Now that is one spicy Crunchwrap Supreme™! The commercial airs and $Me is an overnight sex symbol. Everyone goes rabid for a taste of him and sales skyrocket. As the swimsuit sponsorships pile up by the day, the underwear sponsorships pile up by the night and $Me's soft tortilla bod takes over every street corner and commercial slot in the country. He walks away from the campaign with a hefty paycheck and a lot of self-confidence in the form of a body skill point.
Fail B:
That was, uh, awfully steamy. Maybe too much so. When they say sex sells they don’t mean it literally, but $Me took it about as close to that as the FCC would allow. Viewers are largely uncomfortable with the performance, with church groups and concerned parents speaking out publicly against the lascivious ad campaign. Protestors show up in front of $Me's restaurant demanding he put some clothes on and stop subjecting the youth to the corrupting influence of his bare tortilla bod. The government agrees and even changes the law to ban future advertisements from crossing the same threshold. It’s a pretty mortifying experience and $Me loses a charisma point from the embarrassment.
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Crunchwrap Supreme™ (career)
Crunchwrap Supreme™ (career)
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