Pining for Acceptance
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Chapter 18: Pining for Acceptance


“What’s up Alanna?”

“Good to see you, Alanna.”

“Heeey Alanna.”

Reggie was trying to figure out how to greet Alanna when he next saw her in a way that didn’t seem unnatural or awkward.

“Lookin’ Good, Alanna!” he tried to come off as attentive and complimentary but when he pointed his fingers and smiled at his reflection in the mirror, it looked ridiculous. Fortunately, he didn’t suffer the full vision of ridiculousness since had yet to put on his glasses so it was a slightly blurry, ridiculous reflection.

He sighed in frustration and pawed at his hair which he had yet to style with some hair gel; it was still messy and limp from sleeping on it all night.

His bird squawked at him.


“Don’t judge me!” Reggie turned and pointed at Kissinger. The bird cocked its head and Reggie realized that he’d forgotten to give Kissinger breakfast; the bird was asking for food and not making fun of the fact that Reggie was woefully inadequate at impressing women. He approached Kissinger’s bird cage and pulled out the box of birdseed, carefully pouring it into the feeder so as not to spill it all over the floor of his apartment.


It was unfortunate that the only time Alanna had free that week was right before his Theory of Patriotism class at nine o’clock a.m.

However, it was perfect timing to get a cappuccino because Reggie couldn’t seem to get through the day without at least two cups of caffeine, but he wished it wasn’t so early and that they could have more time together. He figured he should start getting dressed and look presentable.

Through before doing that, he Instead plopped down in front of his computer and checked his messages. He could dick around for hours on the computer—reading tech blogs, writing code, following an endless suggestion trail of funny videos, or playing Rush Hour—but his excitement to meet up with Alanna would be enough to drag him away so he wasn’t worried about losing track of time.

He had an email from Professor Carr reminding him that the robotics program was still meeting up on Saturday despite it being fall break, though it was optional. Sure, Reggie had nothing better to do on Fall break—might as well brush up on his coding and see what the other members were working on.

He also had a ping from his friendly Rush Hour nemesis; they must have messaged him after he went to bed the night before. They had played a few rounds against each other which he had won.

Violet_Fire: Too busy to play this weekend, but will kick your behiney the next time I am online

Violet_Fire had actually won the rush hour tournament match-up with him the week before much to Reggie’s disappointment but he felt some sort of vindication at winning the most recent one-on-one races.

He didn’t know much about the user named Violet_Fire. They didn’t really chat about personal things, just seemed to trash-talk each other about who was the better player. He’d seen them in the game match-ups for at least the last year and a half and they both had sort of been going back and forth in the regional rankings; evenly matched. He thought it was amusing that they ended most of their chat lines with winky faces.

Kissinger squawked at him again and he bolted up, remembering he still had yet to get dressed, gel his hair, and gather his class materials before he could leave and meet Alanna for coffee.

--------

Reggie tapped his foot anxiously, and impatiently as he stood in line for coffee. It was five minutes later than when Alanna told him she’d meet him. He had waited outside for a minute or two but it was a bit chilly that early in the morning, plus he needed that espresso to wake him up. So he stood in line, hoping he could flag Alanna over when she showed up. It seemed every time the doors to the coffee shop opened, he would whip around with a smile only to have it wipe away because the incoming patron was not her.

Finally, finally, he spotted her enter the building. Her hair was pulled up messily, like she didn’t have time to brush it and part of it was already falling out. Despite her disheveled look, she still was as stunning as ever. She spotted him and her warm smile was enough to forget about the morning chill, and forgive her for her tardiness.


“Sorry! Sorry for being late and sorry it took so long to get a clear schedule, I do a lot of studying that takes up most of my time,” Alanna explained and joined Reggie in line for coffee. She gave an enormous yawn. “I accidentally overslept because I went too late studying last night.”

There had to be something admirable in a person who had that much patience and concentration for hours of nothing but studying.

“What’s your major?” Reggie asked. He knew what it was, he had looked at her SSU student profile online but wanted to see if asking her would lead to a more natural conversation.

“Biology,” she replied, “And yours?”

“Political Science.”

She gave a small nod as if that wasn’t surprising. It really wasn’t considering the legacy of politicians in his family. It was never outright spoken but there was this sort of assumption Reggie would follow in his father and grandfather’s footsteps to become mayor one day. He didn’t have a problem with that expectation but at the same time wanted to make his own mark on the legacy if he were to go through with it.

“So, will you study even over the break?” He asked and started to feel more at ease talking to her, falling bit by bit into that comfort zone he’d had with her when she had been his chemistry partner in high school.

“Not the entire time. I’m busy helping with a bake sale on Saturday.”

Reggie stepped up and ordered his usual cappuccino. Alanna reminded him she was paying since she had offered to buy in the first place. He offered one word of protest before giving in and letting her buy their caffeine.


They took a seat at one of the counters. Reggie sipped on his cappuccino and felt instantly better. A shot of caffeine did wonders. Alanna sat next to him with her coffee in a to-go container. He was curious to know more about her bake sale; it could be another opportunity to see her.

“So where is the bake sale? Maybe I will drop by and get something. Do you bake?”

“A little,” she shrugged one shoulder, suddenly with a troubled expression that didn’t escape his notice. “It’s outside my usual place…”

“What’s wrong?” he asked with concern, interrupting her to know why she looked so troubled.


“Franz is going to be there,” she finally mumbled, and Reggie felt himself frown, “I just don’t want to see you guys get into a fight again.”

Reggie let out a sardonic laugh and set down his cup, “Franz is the fighter, he’s always been that way.”

“He has not!” Alanna protested.

“Oh yeah?” Reggie raised his brows doubtfully, “So he didn’t march into Mocha Chip last weekend and threaten me with no provocation?”

Alanna bit her lip and looked down at her coffee. She couldn’t argue with that point.

“He’s not your boyfriend, is he?” Reggie asked. He didn’t think they were together, imaging Franz trying to be romantic was just amusing and unlikely, but considering how threatening Franz had been toward him—he could have been mistaken.

“No!” she looked shocked that he would even ask such a question, “We’re just friends.”

“Listen, I was his friend long before you and the guy is dangerous. Do you ever wonder why he gives off such a loner vibe? He can’t keep friends and ends up driving them away. He put a kid into a concussion when he was in the third grade, and he even punched me in the nose once back in high school when he got angry. Violence is the language he speaks and always will.”

“I don’t believe that,” Alanna said, finally staring hard at Reggie. He wasn’t going to change her mind today, but given time he could make her see that Franz wasn’t worth the trouble. He knew becuse he’d once been friends with Franz too.

“You can’t adopt a tiger and expect it to act like a kitten, Alanna. You’ll see his true nature of these days and it’s not going to be a pleasant sight,” Reggie stated and picked his cup back up to finish off the remaining espresso.


True nature. To Alanna, the person Reggie was describing sounded like a complete stranger. Franz was so good at maintaining a stoic demeanor, but considering recent events, Alanna didn’t know how long it would last. She hoped the bake sale would have a large turnout and they could get at least enough money to start on the cost of his mother’s treatments. Her worry reached her face again.

“What now?”

“I’m just really worried about him, his mother…she’s sick. They’re probably going to lose the bakery to keep up the cost of treatments,” she said. She hadn’t actually drank her coffee yet and seemed rather melancholy. “That’s why we are doing a bake sale—to raise money.”

Reggie didn’t care about Franz or his problems. He wanted to hang out with Alanna and start over, not be burdened by this boorish conversation about another guy he disliked. He didn’t want to seem insensitive so forced himself to look at least, mildly sympathetic, “That’s a shame.”

Her melancholy didn’t seem to lessen as she stared at her drink container, seeming preoccupied with thoughts about Franz.

Reggie prickled with jealousy but had to remind himself that he had a lot more going for himself, and it wasn’t like Alanna had a thing for Franz anyway, as she just admitted. Reggie just needed to get back on Alanna’s good side.

“Hey, how about I drop by Saturday and buy a whole bag of baked goods, that way it will help out.”

To his relief, she smiled gratefully, “It really would, thank you!” Then, to his surprise and delight she threw her arms around him and gave him a quick squeeze of appreciation.

She picked up her coffee, seeming to have a renewed interest in it, and finally took a sip.

They sat and chatted about more subjects besides school—hobbies and entertainment—general, easy-going topics that weren’t so controversial. As they walked out, an idea struck Reggie on how he could entice her to meet up again.

“What are you doing Saturday evening?”

“I’ll be busy studying, why?”

“Well if you can afford to put it off for an evening, you should come with me to the robotics group and check out what we’re working on. I remember you were big into the science club in high school, didn’t you win the regional science fair with that weather contraption?”

She nodded with a sudden excitement, “Yeah, but I didn’t know you were into robotics too! My brother works in the industry and he’s actually developed some new A.I. functions. Is that what you do?” She pulled out her phone and flipped through it and then looked to him with a smile, "I can rearrange my schedule. I’d love to see what you are working on!“


"Well I work on the internal coding, the computer parts of them—it’s sort of a hobby I got into,” Reggie explained, losing a bit of confidence. A.I. was some advanced tech Reggie wasn’t even close to touching, she probably wouldn’t be impressed with anything he was coding at the moment compared to what Antoine Thackery had done. But now that she was interested in going, he couldn’t revoke his invitation.

He told her the location and time to meet on Saturday to look over the robotics projects. Professor Carr surely wouldn’t mind with it being Fall break and a lot of the program members would probably be out of town anyway.

The sun was shining and producing more warmth than before; Reggie could tell he’d probably strip off his sweater and just wear his collared shirt underneath by the time class let out. He bid farewell to Alanna and was grateful thay he got to spend some time with her, and was eager to spend more time with her either by seeing her at the bake sale or during robotics.

He watched her walk away in the opposite direction and he slumped against the side of the coffee shop. He was as in danger as he ever was of falling for Alanna again. He thought maybe he could keep it cool and not come off as completely infatuated with her but felt like he was making heart eyes the entire morning and if she had noticed, maybe she was too polite to call him out on it.

His sister had often told him that regrets were a waste of time because one could never change the past, however, he deeply and truly regretted ever trusting her word that Alanna had purposely led him on just to make him and Franz hate each other at the Battle of the Bands.

Alanna was wonderful. Evelyn Jane was a snake and always had been, and he should have realized sooner.

He got a sudden pain in his wrist again, probably from playing Rush Hour and his abundant computer usage. He pressed his thumb against it to ease it, and as he did he heard something that made him take pause.

“There’s an opening in the Hoh Fruhm House,” a student said to his friend as they walked past Reggie and toward the entrance of the coffee shop. Reggie turned his head around the corner to hear more—his attention suddenly snared.

“Whoa really?”

“Yeah, one of the upperclassmen just…like..totally bailed on the Greek society.”

“Man, that’s crazy!”

“Tell me about it. Now we have to fill a spot…” the first guy said as they entered and the door shut behind them.


Reggie had been trying to get into Hoh Fruhm since he entered college. He had always been moved down the waiting list, and he never knew why. He had the family name, the legacy, and the money but yet the powers that be just didn't seem to want to accept him.

Maybe this was his chance to finally get in, and he’d just have to find out more about the situation because it was virtually unheard of, a person willingly abandoning a Greek society membership. It was odd.

Reggie looked at the time and cursed because he had to rush in order to get to class on time. He walked hastily down the sidewalk toward the building his class was in. To rub salt in the metaphorical wound, he was forced to pass the Greek row—a street of houses reserved for those accepted into the student society. Hoh Fruhm stood the largest and most modern-looking of the bunch.

He tucked his hands in his pockets and glanced at the house with a hint of longing. He wanted to be a member of Hoh Fruhm nearly as badly as he wanted Alanna Thackery to be his girlfriend—but for the time being, both desires were just out of reach.

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