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Heartbroken
Back to: Starting Over Next: Power Play
Chapter 4: Heartbroken


Illyana Sanchez racked the pool balls, lifted the triangle, and smiled at the perfect display before looking at the man to her left. He nodded his head, clearly impressed. She had been practicing.

She eyed the white cue ball before lining up her stick and giving it a firm push which propelled the white ball into the perfect triangle and split the rest of the balls outward across the table.

Billiards was a staple of their Friday night routine when her boyfriend wasn't playing a show.

Adam Hamilton was a bassist for a local band in Memosa Bay called the 'Venom Affection' and he met Illyana three years prior during a local music festival when she was playing guitar with her band, 'The Raven Crowns.' She initially was attracted him for his chiseled jaw and build of a track athlete but when they hung out, they had hit it off and eventually agreed to date exclusively. She had since eased back on playing shows with her band to focus on earning her degree but was known to sub in for his guitarist at times.

"Are you going to win this time?" he asked.


Her spirit for competition flared into her expressive eyes as she chalked the tip of her pool cue "Here's to hoping."

She had lost 30 consecutive games to him and hadn't given up yet.

This evening, they were gathered at the pool table in the Isla Del Kashmire Community College recreation room which was also the ground floor of the dormitory on the campus. Illyana attended school there and was working toward a journalism degree.

Adam had dropped out of Sim State nearly a year ago to focus on playing in his band; he d assured her it was only a temporary break.

She pushed the cue ball into a solid and it pocketed which made her do a fist-pump of delight.


She made her way to the opposite end of the table where the same had ended up rolling to and appraised the table and all the possibilities. There. The Blue solid. She lined up the white ball and made another shot. It pocketed as well.

"Look who's on a roll," Adam quipped and followed her.

Illyana simply smiled with a hint of sarcasm tugging at the corners of her mouth, caressing his jaw with the end of her stick, which left a smudge of white chalk on his cheek, "Your winning streak ends today, Hamilton."

His smile dissipated rather quickly. She turned a concerned eye to him, not suspecting her taunt could actually hurt his feelings.

"So, I need to tell you something," his tone was serious. She retracted her pool stick, struck by the sudden change.

"What?"

He set his own stick against the pool table and crossed his arms, looking like he d rather not say. Was someone sick? Did he need money again? It looked like the news was something grim from the way his eyes refused to suddenly meet hers.

"Last weekend. After the show, I...hooked up with a girl."

She didn't expect that. Her entire body seemed to freeze over to nothing but numbness and she dropped her pool stick. It hit the floor with a loud clatter and then there was only silence.


She had to process this.

He cheated on her?

He cheated on her and waited a week to tell her?

Why so long?

Why would he even cheat?

Wasn't she good enough?

Did he even love her?

How could he if he had hooked up with someone else when he was her boyfriend?

He had thrown three years of trust away in a single night all because—what? He couldn't keep it in his pants?

"WHY?" she stepped forward and the anger she had been able to control erupted into her face and voice, heated and full of loathing.


He looked a bit surprised at her ferocity but if he expected her to just accept this piece of news and move along like it didn t matter, or pretend it never happened then maybe he didn't know her after all.

"It was a stupid mistake. The band went out for drinks, and we got caught up with some girls and one—"

"I don't want to hear about it in detail and don't try to blame this on alcohol!" Illyana all but shouted.

"You asked why. So, I'm explaining," he said calmly, "Just because you can't accept it, doesn't make it a lie."

Illyana only glowered.

Adam sighed with exasperation, "Y'see, this is why I didn't want to tell you. I knew you would react badly."

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO REACT!?" Illyana burst. The was infuriated at his patronizing tone.

"Well I was hoping we could discuss this like adults," he crossed his arms, "but you're throwing a temper tantrum right now."

"I want you to leave," Illyana tried to restrain her voice and demanded in a low tone. She couldn't take the sight of him anymore. She couldn't think of it without wanting to punch him and she was not throwing a temper tantrum.

"So that's it? You're mad at me for being honest and then you ask me why and don't let me explain?"

"GET OUT NOW!" Illyana pointed to the front door and screamed, feeling the anguished heat wash over her face. She was lucky that most of her classmates were out in the city or had gone home to visit families for the weekend so no one was running in and asking what the problem was.

Adam held up his hands in resignation; they had fought before but with time Illyana would usually cool down. He casually turned his back on her and promptly left like she had demanded. So why did she feel even worse now that he was gone?

Even though the small community campus was in the same town she had grown up in, Illyana had opted to board in the dorm. She ran to her room where she could be guaranteed solitude and desperately tried to contain the tears that were now trying to escape her. She tried to take deep breaths, at least she had learned through meditation that breathing would help calm the overwhelming sadness and anger that was now billowing inside her.

One breath.

Two breaths...


Her throat felt so tight and her third breath became shaky, then a wail managed to escape followed by a downpour of tears.

As much as she wanted to, she knew she couldn't be alone like this.

She was able to see enough through the wet blur to dial a number on her cell and blubber Adam's name. But his name was as far as she could say before breaking down into more sobs. Coherence was not an option any longer.

The voice on the other end of the line understood and told her it would be 20 minutes.


Illyana crumpled to the floor in the corner of her room, wiping at her eyes, and feeling utterly broken.

How could he have done this to her? She thought they had something together a fun, easy-going relationship full of music and adventure. She had often plugged in her guitar and jammed with him in his basement, she wrote him songs to play, and she'd been able to attend nearly all of his shows to support his band. Adam was the first guy she had ever fallen so hard and fast for.

Now she was infuriated by him and the thought of him allowing some nameless, faceless girl to have him after the one show Illyana couldn't attend because she had been studying for a midterm module that required her to write a 10-page essay and accompanying article. They had argued a little about her not being able to go, and she hoped to the Great Plumbob in the sky that he hadn't cheated on her because of that.

That awful little thought sent her into another few minutes of her curling her knees to her chest and hugging them there to muffle her weeping sounds.


10 minutes later she heard a knock on her dorm door.

"In here," she muttered softly, blubbery still with wet-streaked cheeks she tried to dry with the sleeve of her shirt before anyone could see her.

Alarie Thackery barged in, "That bastard, what did he do this time? I'm going to kill him—"

She looked around the room and spotted Illyana on the floor and her frown softened. Leona Hillenburg was behind her looking sympathetic and concerned. Leona was the one who she had reached out to, but Leona must have enlisted Alarie for additional emotional support. Illyana didn't mind, she needed all the comfort they could give.

Alarie dropped to her knees next to Illyana, "Want me to break his legs?"

Leona moved past them and stood against the wall while advising, "We're here to comfort, not maim."

Illyana just looked up at them with a hopeless expression. It always seemed like the world was against her.

It took a few minutes for her friends to coerce a valid sentence from Illyana on what had happened that rendered her a heaping ball of tears but they were both hugely sympathetic toward her and equally as distraught once they understood. This wasn't Illyana being overly dramatic like usual.


"Why does it hurt so much?" Illyana managed to ask.

"It's called heartbreak for a reason," Leona said sadly, pulling Illyana up into a tight hug. "We'll help you get through it, though."

Illyana could feel another pair of arms encase them as Alarie joined in on their embrace. Illyana was so appreciative of them at that moment—she hadn't seen many of her friends since the semester had started.

It didn't feel any better, though; it still felt like there was a black hole inside her where her heart used to be. It was fresh and it hurt, and no matter how much she loved her friends, they couldn't fill that void.

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