CHAPTER 2: "Enter Slaisionnach"



Gwirmalesh (about to hang up phone): "Excellent, Mudo! Maintain your post!"

The Gwirdon king beneath Chestnut Mountain quickly rallied his top aides to hold court, the mist gentle near the floor of his underground fortress. Behind the gates of Gwirmalesh's throne room, General Hiktomoph always got a feeling of the chills. He knew that his kind had to make some serious deals with devils to get to where they were. Even his hardened heart was shaken by the magnitude of evil emanating from this particular room, where the wrath that filled Gwirmalesh's heart after the death of Princess Gwantina persisted in sending off a chilling presence.

Gwirmalesh continued to stroke the Trinket of Morlikus in his hands, forever celebrating his continual revenge against the Cortascian King that had failed to stop Marzwhatti - and had therefore sealed Gwantina's fate. In their hearts, the Gwirdons' war had only begun. But word from their spy, Mudo, that the PercoDome was on its way to storage at Gary's HanomCorp warehouse filled Gwirmalesh with a sense of urgency.

Gwirmalesh: "Hiktomoph! I hope you have some troops ready to go!"

Hiktomoph: "As usual, sire, we have plenty of reserves!"

Gwirmalesh: "Excellent! This is the big one! We need to capture that PercoDome from HanomCorp Office Tower 1, before it has the chance to arrive at Gary's facility! That device would make Prince Volkonir completely irrelevant to my plans! While he's off polishing his Tapestry armor, we'll be ruling the multiverse!!!"

Mogabir: "Sire...I have word that Vinny and Kayla are still attending classes at Montana State University. If we hurry, we can snag the device before they have a chance to suit up for their jobs with Hanom."

Gwirmalesh: "How is the work coming on proving Kayla is the Wyoming Cabin Burglar, so we can put her back in prison and break the prince's heart?"

Mogabir: "Not good, sir. Hanom has good lawyers protecting her. And she's been staying out of trouble for almost a year now. Evidence keeps disappearing. And there is a statute of limitations on some things. If we can't convince a prosecutor he has a case - even if he's in our back pocket - we won't get far."

Gwirmalesh: "All the more reason we need that device! I trust your modifications to our latest asset have paid off?"

Mogabir: "I cannot speak for his mind; but his body is one of the toughest I've seen."

Gwirmalesh: "We're out of time! He'll do!"

Hiktomoph: "Who will do, sir?"

Gwirmalesh: "Follow me, and you will soon find out!"



Hiktomoph followed, as Gwirmalesh explained while leading to the chambers where the newest asset was to be found.

Gwirmalesh: "Seirsionnach fell because he attacked Tokyo conveniently at the same time that Volkonir was there! He was clever at fooling that Spectral Hare Samurai, and would've done him in if not for Volkonir's interference! He also would have had the samurai kill off Tarantrum for us, as that monster was useless. Instead, the samurai and the knight proved to be great allies. I assured Seirsionnach that if he failed, I would send one of his cousins in his place. Thanks to Mogabir, I feel this one is ready: Slaisionnach, the Throat Slasher Vampire Fox!"



Gwirmalesh: "Mogabir has been getting Slasionnach up to speed for these recent missions. Including teaching him Russian for...some reason. His venom is deadly, his sword fierce, and he can take heavy doses of punishment! He is also not as sensitive to the sun as Raccglow and Vantina were! It'd take a giant robot to take him out! And I know the prince doesn't have one!"

Hiktomoph: "I will have him steal the PercoDome directly, while I create a diversion. If Vinny really is in class yet, he'll be of no use against us. Most of HanomCorp's security staff are poorly trained for combat, and will be easy fodder for my troops."

Slaisionnach (in a thick Russian accent): "Enough natter! I want to kill things!"

Gwirmalesh: "And so you shall! Go forth, my army! Slaisionnach! Get that device! And have fun...killing things!"



Hikotmoph and his Treaders wasted no time descending on the HanomCorp office, being careful to use their own transporters to arrive a short ways away. They didn't wish to be tracked so easily back to Chestnut Mountain. They caught the transport and security crews completely off guard, quickly overrunning and assassinating most of them.

Hiktomoph: "Treaders! Get them! And make sure our asset gets that device!!!"



The Treaders with guns quickly found themselves offed by the sharpshooting of none other than Carlos Modi, who arrived on the scene a few seconds late and witnessed the bloodshed ensuing. Two badly-formed Treaders and a few others descended on him, but he was not about to let them get that device without a fight.



He gave pursuit after the cowardly Hiktomoph, as Hiktomoph attempted to flee, firing rounds at him.

Carlos: "Not this time, Hiktomoph!"

Hiktomoph: "EVERY time, you son of smacklords!"

Carlos: "Hey, you leave my mama out of this!"



Masato knew Carlos would not be enough to take out the garbage that had descended. It was almost time for some Spectral Hare Samurai power! However, he also knew this wasn't his native turf. The enemy had home field advantage!

Masato: "Carlos! Let Hiktomoph retreat! It means someone worse is coming! Call Hanom, and tell him to get Vinny and Kayla here!"

Carlos: "Right!"



Masato (beating up Treaders): "Anata wa tsugidesu! Kutabare, minikuime!" (translation: "You're mine! Drop dead, ugly!")



Kayla exited the building where she was taking a sociology class - required, but not interesting. She'd already spent a year and two months seeing ugly truth up-close and personal; and didn't need some textbook's quack theories. Her classmates' Marxist musings being spouted to whore their way to better grades were merely sickening to her ears. But what good would it do her to correct every ignorant statement she heard? She gained her patience from knowing that her faith in the truth could not be shaken - and from knowing the man that waited for her once the hour of know-nothing know-it-all self-flattery was over.

The two wasted no time rushing into each other's arms, quickly giving way to a kiss complete with licking the roofs of each other's mouths. It was every bit as much a statement of "good riddance to today!" as it was a declaration to each other of "I'm yours."

Kayla: "How was your chemistry class?"

Vinny: "I'd rather not talk about it."

Kayla: "Yeah, let's see if anything is..."

Before she could finish, she got the ringtone that was unmistakably Hanom paging her.

Vinny: "Finally! The only thing besides you and Pastor Orlington's sermons that can keep me from getting bored!"

Kayla quickly answered the phone, knowing it was probably another Gwirdon trouble-related call.

Kayla: "Hi, boss."

Hanom: "Hi, Vinny there?'

Kayla: "Yep. Treaders again?"

Hanom: "Double the usual number. No surprise. This new device can channel the Percolation Wave to contact the Divergency. Gwirmalesh wants to expand his operation to worlds that don't have Cortascian Knights to defend them, and the PercoDome might let him do that if he captures it. Masato and Carlos are getting their tails handed to them, so I'd hurry to Office 1 pronto!"

Kayla: "We're on it. But...a world-hopper machine? Really? Why not just gift-wrap him a birthday present while you're at it?"

Hanom: "Sorry. Gotta go. Investor chat meeting in an hour, and I wanna be ready for this one."

Kayla: "Right."

Vinny: "He did something stupid, right?"

Kayla: "Worst ever. Carlos and Masato need our help. Follow me on bike to the spot behind Topper's. I think you know the drill."

Vinny: "I don't think you're gonna have time to get dressed."

Kayla: "My transporter is charged. Good thing I don't have to worry about armor."

Vinny: "But you won't have your special pass on you if we wind up on Gary's grounds!"

Kayla (dismissive): "They're not gonna arrest me! And even if they do...you and Hanom will just come get me right away!"

Vinny: "Yeah, I suppose. Let's get going!"



Kayla had no idea what her day might hold, as the two bolted down College Street with their bikes; but she knew that spending time with Vinny was one of the only things that mattered more to her than seeing to it that Carlos was safe and that Masato could make it back to Japan in one piece. Masato could put his samurai armor on and all, but he didn't have the enhancements weaved into his address in the Tapestry yet that Vinny had! This was a job for Team Volkonir, bottom line!



Vinny: "Remember how I said I'd buy if you lost that strip poker game we played? When this is over, I promise I'll get you that Choco Taco."

Kayla: "That wasn't strip poker, it was Texas Hold'Em!"

Vinny: "Strip poker would involve steak strips?"

Kayla (embarrassed he still didn't get her joke from last week): "Some time soon, we'll play that. I promise! And you'll know what that game really means. We'll have to make sure no one else is around though."

Vinny: "I was a toy for 400 years, wandering the Earth, and I'm still learning these things?"

Kayla: "Sorry, dear; I sometimes forget how innocent you still are. It involves clothes, not steak!"

Vinny: "Whoa! Shouldn't we consider at least getting engaged first before that kind of horseplay?"

Kayla: "I'd be willing to discuss baby names with you any time, ring or not. No pressure."

Vinny: "Gwirmalesh is keeping us from our ice cream, and all you want to talk about is when we're gonna finally have sex?"

Kayla: "Gwirmalesh is about to conquer the multiverse, and your main concern is ice cream?"

Vinny: "Yeah, good point! We're both being idiots! Let's kick some mosquito fanny already!"