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Gen 3, Part 14 - College Households Grunt
Back to: Gen 3, Part 13 - College Households Grunt Next: Gen 3, Part 15 - College Household Smith-Nigmos-Grunt


“And that’s when Tank kicked me out of the house, because he was jealous of me hogging all the women. I asked Irina to let me move in, but she said she valued her membership of the Club of Women Ripp Grunt Hasn’t Slept With too much.”

“We are an exclusive club.” Ophelia pointed out. “And our membership is down to maybe five already. Irina is only an honorary member, since she used to date Ripp in high school, but…”

“Okay, okay, I get it. Can we go back to the story now, please?” Jonny buried his face in his hands. “That’s when you decided to move in with us, right?”



“Oh, no. Nice guy that I am, I figured you’d like to live your solitary life and I wouldn’t fit in. So I had this awesome idea: I was going to join the sorority!”

“…You mean fraternity, right?” Jonny hesitated as he saw Ophelia’s huge grin. “RIGHT?”



“Oh no, those guys hate me for some reason. But I’m really popular with the sorority sisters, so they let me crash at their place.”

“You have got to be the only person on campus who hasn’t heard that story, honey.”



“I had a really nice time there! …Buuut, Jonny just turned lime green, so I think I’d better skip to the important part.”



“Tank was all like, “I know this has got to be against the rules”, and, “I am going to file a complaint with the school board”, yadda yadda yadda. Not sure what came of that.”

---------------------------

“So as it turns out, our university is actually run by llamas. Not the mascot, mind you. Actual, live llamas. They ate the complaint form I sent in. I thought about writing to the board of education, but I think that’s Stefan Halfdanarsson and he might already know.”



“Being the cool brother and nice guy that I am, I decided that something had to be done about Tank. I mean, first of all, this is college and the guy has got to start living at some point, and second, he was seriously cramping my style. Having an uncool brother is one thing, but he’s like the antidote of cool. So I invited him to a party and set a few thing into motion.”

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“…wearing bedsheets, every single one of them! I asked Ripp if he had spent all of his money on guitars and drugs and he just laughed!”



“And then he started to throw water balloons at my face.”

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“I figured, the first thing that had to go was that stupid facepaint of his. Unfortunately, that stuff seems to be waterproof.”



“So I refueled my imagination with some fresh fruit punch…”

“By which he means he got completely wasted.”

“…getting my creative juices flowing, thank you, Ophelia…”



“Which clearly must have worked, because inspiration hit me and I screamed “EUREKA!”

“What Ripp here neglects to mention is that he also took his toga off for that.”

“It was necessary. It’s an art thing.”



“So there I am, standing with a glass of the least alcoholic beverage I could find anywhere in the house, and a naked Ripp charges at me at full speed. I used to think that my military training had prepared me for any situation. It had not prepared me for this.”



“I froze up, not knowing how to react, and he just grabbed me and dragged me into the hot tub, fully clothed. Then he went in himself, fully unclothed. Then I got out and ran.”



“And that’s the story of how I ended up drenched in front of your house and if you could please stop laughing now and explain my little brother to me, that’s be great.”

“Oh, that’s an easy one. He’s trying to get you to wash your facepaint off, because it looks ridiculous.”

“What.”


Irina's highschool relationship with Ripp has given her the ability to understand his creative reasoning. It's a two-edged sword. There are things people are better off not knowing about.


Coming up next: More college, but with less parties and nudity

Click Next: Gen 3, Part 15 - College Household Smith-Nigmos-Grunt to continue...

 
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