Having established himself in his best friends‘ household, it didn’t take Ripp long to notice something was odd. The main reason why he’d waited so long to move in with Jonny and Ophelia had been that he thought he would be in the way. The couple was finally able to spend time alone together and he figured they’d announce their engagement any time during the first month.

However, Jonny and Ophelia clearly weren’t engaged. That aside, they also seemed kind of tense around each other. Far from being a bother for them, Ripp’s presence seemed to make them feel comfortable.



Having finished his observations in an uncharacteristically subtle manner, Ripp laid out plans to carefully approach the subject with Jonny.

“So what exactly is going on with you and Ophelia anyway? Did you knock her up and now she’s mad at you?”

That was about when his mother’s spontaneous temper caught up with him again, proving once and for all that Ripp simply did not have the making of a general.

Jonny glared at his friend. “Ripp…”

“Okay, okay, sorry! But seriously, you’ve been walking on eggshells around each other the whole time!”



Jonny sighed. “Might as well tell you the whole story. Maybe you can make sense of it.”

“I am a well-known connoisseur of women’s minds, after all, you mean?”

“…Actually I was thinking more about the fact that I never know what you’re thinking and I don’t know what Ophelia is thinking right now either…”

“Fair enough.”



“Anyway, we got along perfectly fine for the first weeks and so I decided to propose to her. I mean, I know her aunt doesn’t like aliens, but that didn’t stop Ophelia from falling in love with me. I thought we could get our own house somewhere.”



“Well, the problem is, Ophelia refused.”

“Come again?” This was definitely not what Ripp had expected to hear. “But she always said she wanted to get married to you!”

“I know!” Jonny shook his head. “I don’t get it either, but when I asked her about it, she just started to cry. And she keeps crying whenever I bring the subject up. The most I’ve been able to get out of her is that it has something to do with her aunt!”



Turning to his guitar, Ripp meditated on what Jonny had just told him.

Ophelia’s behavior really made no sense. She loved Jonny, didn’t she? Just because her aunt hated him didn’t mean she couldn’t marry him. Ripp knew that he had to get behind that mystery if he wanted to bring his friends back together.



“Okay, so you’re grateful to your aunt for raising you after your parents died and you don’t want to marry a man she doesn’t like, right?”

Ophelia looked up from her book as Ripp plopped down on the couch next to her and opened the conversation with those words.

“Ripp, please leave me alone about this.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do this. Now, I obviously can’t fault you for wanting to show gratitude to your auntie, but there comes a time when a child needs to stand on their own two feet and declare itself an adult who can make their own choices!”

Ophelia slammed her book shut and got up. “There is nothing about my aunt that I have to be grateful for.” she hissed and left the room.



“It’s money, isn’t it!” was what greeted Ophelia when she came home from class later. “Everybody knows Olive Spector is rich from her four husbands and you’re her only living relative, so she’ll leave it all to you, but if you marry against her wishes, she’ll disinherit you!”

Ophelia looked absolutely mortified at this.

“Now, I’m not saying that’s a bad thing!” Ripp continued quickly. “I mean, Jonny’s family has no money, since there’s all those children to care for, and if you want lots of children yourself, you’ll need to have money to put a roof over their heads, feed them and clothe them, so naturally…”

“Ripp… Ripp, seriously, cut that… Ripp, is that one of my novels you’re reading?”

“Sure! That’s where I got the idea from! Now, don’t worry, you might have a hard time at first, but when your first green-skinned blond son looks up to great-auntie Olive and lisps ‘Don’t Auntie luv Mommy anymore?”, her heart of stone will melt, and she will realize the error of her ways, welcoming her lost sheep back into the fold… Hey, where did she go?”



“Alright, alright, I got it.”

Ophelia sighed. “Ripp, please, can’t you just leave this subject alone? You’ll never guess the real reason in a million years, so let’s just eat and…”

“Your aunt is an evil witch and has threatened to put a deadly curse on Jonny if you don’t stay away from him!”

“………”

“…Yeah, okay, that one might have been pushing it.”


Yeah, Ripp, that last idea is completely ridiculous and I don't know why you'd ever think that.

Alternate last line for Ophelia here: "...You know, you're actually completely right."
That wouldn't have worked with the rest of the story, but it would have been fun.

Coming up next: Ophelia's decision